Shiori~n

­"This is Shiori Novella, she's moved here for her parents work, she'll be in our class starting today, everyone, please treat her kindly."

Looking back on it now, that was when it all started, wasn't it? When she first appeared in my life and changed everything. At the time there wasn't particularly anything special about her. She was a peculiar child and even at a similar age as her, I knew her interests weren't exactly aligned with what I knew normal girls would be interested in. In that first week she would retrieve thick books from her bag, much more complex than the ones we would read in class, and with a thump they would be plopped onto her desk. She would bury her face between the pages half of the time, and the other half, well, she would speak with great intensity and length to the girls who gathered around her about bugs. Yes, bugs. I don't know if that's why I paid attention to her, being a great bug hunter myself, I had spent many summers with friends hunting for the biggest beetles to show off. That's the earliest I can remember having the opinion that something about her bothered me. She wasn't right.

So, being the de-facto leader of a small group of other rascals around the same age, I did what any other child would, though I suppose that might be bad justification for my actions at the time, a weak excuse to give me solace for how I treated her. I bullied her, almost every day I would bully her. Steal her glasses and run away with them. Call her names, weird bug girl, four eyes, book freak. The girls that had started off wanting to make friends with the new girl in the class had slowly drifted away from her, being driven away by her interests, and so there was nobody to stand up for her, to tell me that I was being a terrible person, and for some reason she never told the teachers about my clearly rude and despicable behavior. That in itself creeped me out more. She was weird, she was odd, and it's silly but she was always on my mind.

But the march of time stops for nobody, and when I graduated elementary school to move to middle school, we went our separate ways. It was probably for the best. That's where I hit my great slump. The boys who joined me in the same school eventually found 'better' friends to hang out with, and I slowly but surely found myself isolated from anyone I spoke to in the past. My grades weren't anything to boast about either, and I didn't join any extra-curricular activities or after school clubs, so without friends to hang out with, I stuck to videogames or losing myself in cheap fiction novels. Nothing amazing, but it helped me to escape the life I lived, if only until the next day where I would be reminded of my reality once more. In my mind, I knew I was paying the price for how I had treated others, had treated Shiori.

Why is this all important, you ask? Well, because the first day of high school, I realized that life wasn't done dishing up my just deserts, my karma for the little rapscallion I was in my youth. Thankfully, I chose to enroll into a school that nobody else from my middle school would attend. I was determined to change, as many in their adolescent years would be, styling myself into the person I wanted to be, practicing my greetings in a mirror for weeks. However, she would see to it that I would be reminded of my past. Sitting in the assigned seat in front of me, unrecognizable from that nerdy little girl I had bullied all those years ago, an honestly breathtakingly attractive girl stood up as she prepared to make her self introduction. If you were to ask me what she said, I wouldn't remember. My mind went blank after I heard the first five words.

"My name is Shiori Novella."

My blood ran cold. Shiori? Shiori Novella? That Shiori? -That- Shiori? No, it can't be. The girl who stood in front of me was ridiculously beautiful. I know we went to separate middle schools but that's too great of a change for me to accept. No, that's not what was important here. It's unironically over for me. All of my effort into trying to change, all of my aspirations, my desires to break clean from my past would be for naught. She would expose me. The girl who had just taken her seat would prove to be the biggest danger to my life. No, that's just blaming her for something she had no part in. For my own behavior. But nevertheless, she would hate me for how I treated her in the past. In time my classmates would know that I was a terrible person. My life was over.

Then, as if to answer myself in desperation, I had a thought. What if didn't remember me? It had been some time after all. It wouldn't be out of place for her to have had made better memories in middle school and to have made friends who earnestly treated her well. Wait, no, what if she didn't have any friends. I remember she had driven all of the other girls away from her with her interests. Maybe she's similarly alone and nobody would take notice of what she said.

That was the best I could come up with on short notice to cope with the situation that had presented itself. It was my turn to introduce myself now, so I stood up, Shiori was staring out the window. Good. Best to focus my gaze away from her for this and look toward the rest of the class instead. That was easy to do since we sat in the corner toward the back.

"Hey all, my name is Anon, I'm not sure I know any of you, but I look forward to getting along with you all this year." My rehearsed introduction was going great. Some of the girls were showing me kind smiles, some of the guys nodded in agreement. But that's when it happened. There was a noise coming front directly in front of me. I didn't want to look. I shouldn't look, but I couldn't help myself. She had spun her chair around, causing it to scrape the floor as she did so, but, there she was.

Shiori was looking at me. Her eyes, piercing yellow bore through me. What was that look on her face? She was scowling slightly. Oh man, she wasn't wearing glasses anymore either. Did she switch to contacts? No, that doesn't matter. She remembers me. She really does remember me. It's over. My life is over.  My opportunity to change, my last shred of hope was quickly disappearing. I started stammering as I attempted to look back at the other members of the class, but they had similarly been taken by surprise at Shiori's sudden spin and their faces were awash with looks of confusion, looking between me and her. I tried to continue, but I couldn't, so I gave up. "That's all, thanks." I pathetically mumbled as I sat down again.

Shiori was still looking at me. What was her problem? I had finished introducing myself and the next person in the row, the last person behind us stood up to begin theirs, but she was still focused straight on me. Then, she smiled. A goddess. That was my honest impression of her at very moment. After a few seconds she spun her chair around and took up looking out the window again. There were no words shared between the two of us, but that interaction had told me everything I needed to know. Shiori definitely remembered me.

The next few days were a mix of apprehension and horror. It turns out Shiori was quite popular, with both the girls and other guys. Every morning at the front of the class, a group of girls gathered, and she was in the middle of it all. But, despite being surrounded by the most popular girls in class, despite having friends, I surmised that Shiori had never told anyone about the terrible past we shared. To my great fortune, the group of guys that I had fallen in with were on the direct opposite side of the class, so we didn't have much of a chance to interact directly, and I would always rush off to them after class ended, not looking back, not wanting to converse with her.

On this particular day however, I was sitting with the guys in class waiting for home room to begin when it happened. It wasn't unusual for the subject of conversation to be about girls, we were all healthy high school boys. It was in our nature. It turned out that Shiori had quite a few fans without my circle too. "Shiori~n", one called her. Wondering if she had a boyfriend, wondering what type of guy and what things she was interested in. It amused me a little that I knew the answer to the latter, but then I wondered if I truly did. Was she still the bookworm bug nerd that she was in elementary?

As I was pondering this, I looked over to her, and realized she was looking back at me. I froze. But, it wasn't just her. All of the girls were looking at me. What? No, what is this? Why did I feel so, so uncomfortable? Then they turned back toward each other and they laughed? Was I being made fun of? Did she finally tell them? I had lulled myself into a false sense of security, but it seems this was it. My days were numbered. I wanted to escape right now, feeling rather unwell, but the bell rang signalling the start of the day. As I shuffled over to my desk, I met Shiori's gaze as she returned to her seat. She smiled at me again, for a brief moment before sitting down. What was that? What was she planning?

I wasn't about to stick around and find out. As soon as the bell for recess rang, I tossed my books and other stationary into my bag and made for the exit, ignoring the protests of my friends who I had promised to hang with during the small break. Where was I headed? I don't know, the roof? Sounds like as good of a place as any, so with that in mind, my destination set. I started climbing the flight of stairs to reach the large double doors and flung them open. Thankfully it was unlocked, I had heard that the teachers regularly lock the door, but luckily today was not one of those days.

The brilliant blue sky and fresh air bought me back to center myself, and I found one image rising to the top of my head. Shiori. Her smile sure is dazzling. It's a shame that behind that smile laid my demise, that girl was dangerous, toxic for me, but even I had to admit she had grown to be really cute. I hung my head in shame as I counted my regrets. If only, if only I had been a better person to her, maybe, no, either way she's way out of my league now. Me, who had wasted all of his opportunities during middle school, and her, a radiant image of divine beauty that had evolved out of the shell she had been in. I spent the rest of the break in the same self-pitying mood and trudged back to class when I heard the chime for the next period, to hell with all of this, whatever happens, will happen. I prepared myself for the worst.

Shiori was angry. Angry? Maybe not quite, she was pouting. Cute. As our eyes met when I walked back into the classroom, she quickly turned away and looked out the window, her regular pastime. It wasn't the first time I had been perplexed by her behavior, but I found myself once again wondering, what was her problem?

"Hey dude, what's up? You ditched us during recess, what, get yourself a girl or something?" One of my friends asked as I walked past them, loud enough to be heard throughout the class. I scratched the back of my head nervously and composed myself. "Nah, I wish, was just feeling a little unwell so I needed a little fresh air." I waved off his concerns and continued on to my seat, it may have been my imagination, but I think Shiori was looking at us, at me, just a second ago. No way, it can't have been. I'm losing my mind by hyperfocusing on this. I sat and readied myself for the lesson ahead, I'll distract myself with my academics and flee the classroom again when it's time for lunch. I'll be given hell by the guys, but, it's better than the alternative.

The lunch bell rang, and I prepared to make my swift departure once more, I stood up, ready to leave when I realized I was being restrained. Something, no, someone, had grabbed my arm. I didn't understand what was happening at first, but as I looked to see what was holding me back, I saw my captor. Shiori. Shiori had grabbed my arm and was in the process of using her other arm to make sure I couldn't escape. Terrified I looked up at her face, she had the biggest smile I had ever seen, her mouth curled into a wide grin, her eyes fixated on mine as she spoke the first words she had said to me in quite some time.

"No, you're not getting away from me now. Come with me."

By this time others in the class had noticed what was happening and I could hear them talking about us. I glanced over to my friends, they had begun gathering at our usual spot, their faces also painted with surprise, confusion, and maybe jealousy? I almost tripped as Shiori pulled me forward with her as we started toward the front of the classroom. As we walked toward her group of friends, the girls who she had been talking with this morning. The same girls that had looked at me and then laughed.
So the time had come. I was going to be exposed.

There I was, standing opposite the semicircle of girls that had gathered, Shiori's friends. I could tell they were sizing me up, scrutinizing me. Was I about to be berated? An execution of words for my past transgressions? As soon as we had arrived at our destination, Shiori had dropped my arm and now stood beside me. She still had that beaming smile on her face and as she opened her mouth to speak, I braced myself for the beginning of the end.

"Well everyone, here he is. This is Anon. We went to the same elementary school together. He's super cool, the coolest guy I know. I almost couldn't believe we ended up in the same school, the same class again. It's such a surprise meeting someone you knew after so long, but it really is him. Isn't it Anon." What? What was going on? The coolest guy? Me? Is she serious? My mouth had fallen open in astonishment and I was probably making some dumb noises too, but she wasn't finished. "So what do you think? Come on, he's great, isn't he?"

After she had finished making her passionate introduction on my behalf, the girls turned and whispered among themselves. I still didn't understand. No, I had an idea. This was her twisted plot for revenge. Well, I wasn't going to have any of it. I know what she's up to now. There's absolutely no way Shiori could think of me as, what was it, cool? No way. She's clearly aiming to get back at me by humiliating me in the worst way possible. I'm on to you now. I know what you're playing at. Nevertheless it was super embarrassing. I had just been dragged in front of the hottest, most popular girls in the class, and by Shiori herself. It was barely into lunch so mostly everyone remained in the room. I had been turned into their entertainment, and all I knew was, I wanted to melt into the ground. I wanted to disappear, and, I wanted to cry.