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The Wizard of Ponyville

Apr 28th, 2014
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  1. >Day The Wizard of Ponyville in Equestria.
  2. >It is your thirtieth birthday.
  3. >You’ve kept yourself pure for all these years.
  4. >Hoping against hope that that your efforts wouldn’t be in vain.
  5. >Could the stories be true?
  6. >Have you gained magical powers?
  7. >You look across your room at a bottle.
  8. >No.
  9. >Don’t set it on fire.
  10. >Not inside.
  11. >Instead you focus on a pencil on your desk.
  12. >Surely you can move it with your mind.
  13. >You take a deep breath.
  14. >After a moment you exhale slowly.
  15. >You can do this.
  16. >Clear your mind.
  17. >Your teeth clench.
  18. >All of your focus goes into lifting the pencil.
  19. >But nothing.
  20. >It refuses to move.
  21. >Still you continue.
  22. >You can feel your eyes straining.
  23. >Lift it up!
  24. >An eye twitches.
  25. >Try harder!
  26. >You can feel sweat beading on your brow.
  27. >Remember to breathe.
  28. >Fuck.
  29. >Nothing.
  30. >Maybe it doesn’t happen overnight?
  31. >You saw a movie about this.
  32. >Or maybe it was a mini-series?
  33. >The progression of magic.
  34. >Levels of power.
  35. >Of course you don’t have someone to teach you.
  36. >What was it again?
  37. >Wands, then words, then mind…?
  38. >No, it was incantation first.
  39. >Then hands.
  40. >Finally thought.
  41. >But you don’t know any magic words.
  42. >Abracadabra.
  43. >Hocus pocus.
  44. >Alakazaam.
  45. >Open sesame.
  46. >...
  47. >Oh shit.
  48. >That last one could work.
  49. >You turn toward your door.
  50. >It’s made of solid oak.
  51. >You raise your hands and motion as if you were opening the door.
  52. >”Open sesame.”
  53. >The door shakes slightly.
  54. >You try concentrating more.
  55. >”I said, open sesame.”
  56. >The handle jiggles.
  57. >”Open up!”
  58. >The door cracks open.
  59. >Now you truly are a wizard.
  60. 1/10
  61. >
  62. >
  63. >”Hi, Anon.”
  64. ”Hello, Twilight.”
  65. >”What brings you here?”
  66. ”I thought I’d poke around and find a good book.”
  67. >She beams.
  68. >”I can help you find what you’re looking for.”
  69. >You frown at her.
  70. >She just wants to spend some time with you.
  71. ”Alright, where do you keep your magic books?”
  72. >”Magic books? You have to be authorized to use those.”
  73. >Use them?
  74. ”No, I mean… where do you keep your books on magic?”
  75. >”Oh you want history books. We’ve got plenty of those.”
  76. >She turns quickly and starts moving toward a bookcase.
  77. ”Twilight, not histories, spellbooks. Where they teach you how to use magic.”
  78. >She gives you a confused look.
  79. >”Why would you want one of those?”
  80. >You aren’t ready to tell her your secret.
  81. ”I’m just curious.”
  82. >”Well… we do have those… but only unicorns are allowed to read them.”
  83. >Time to turn on the charm.
  84. ”What’s the harm, Twilight?”
  85. >You kneel down to her level and touch her shoulder.
  86. >She looks away.
  87. >”It’s forbidden, Anon… Besides, only unicorns can use magic.”
  88. >What about that zebra?
  89. “So, you can’t give me anything?”
  90. >She thinks for a moment.
  91. >”Well… I guess you could read, ‘Growing up.’ Any colt can read that.”
  92. >She magics over a book with three fillies on the cover.
  93. >You thumb through a few pages.
  94. >It’s about getting your cutie mark.
  95. >Hopefully it talks about using magic.
  96. ”Great. Thanks, Twilight.”
  97. >”Going already? We have lots of other interesting books.”
  98. ”I’ve got a full schedule today. Maybe another time,” you lie.
  99. >She frowns but nods slowly.
  100. >You get up to leave.
  101. >”You don’t need magic to impress me, Anon.”
  102. “What was that?”
  103. >”I like you just the way you are…”
  104. >You want to tell her off.
  105. >But now isn’t the time.
  106. 2/10
  107. >
  108. >
  109. >What a worthless book.
  110. >You toss it to the side.
  111. >Looks like you’re going to have to visit that zebra.
  112. >What would Lo Pan think of that?
  113. >”Peasant Magic,” a voice says disdainfully.
  114. >And you won’t stoop that low.
  115. >Still, you need a teacher…
  116. >If only you could find a green eyed pony to show you.
  117. >Maybe if you can find King Sombra, he will teach you his ways.
  118. >Dark crystal magic.
  119. >Or maybe you can learn Black Chineighs spells.
  120. >The most evil of all.
  121. >You get up and walk to your door.
  122. >A small pile of letters lay just inside.
  123. >Bills again.
  124. >You scoop them up and as you look through them you see a flyer.
  125. >”The Great and Powerful Trixie’s Magic Show. Tonight Only.”
  126. >Bingo.
  127. >You pack your hiking gear.
  128. >If she takes you as a student you will have to travel.
  129. >
  130. >
  131. >”The Great and Powerful Trixie has just as much right to do magic as anypony!”
  132. >”Get out of here you fraud!”
  133. >”Yeah!” A muscular pony yells.
  134. >”All you do is crappy illusions!”
  135. >”Nopony wants you here, Trixie.” Twilight says smugly.
  136. >The blue maned pony grits her teeth.
  137. >”Trixie doesn’t have to take this.”
  138. >The pony turns around and starts pulling her cart.
  139. >They didn’t even let her set up.
  140. >You watch as the crowd disperses.
  141. >Oh shit she saw you.
  142. >You start walking in the opposite direction.
  143. >A bright flash.
  144. >Twilight appears in front of you.
  145. >Maybe one day you can learn how to blink like her.
  146. >"Hey, Anon."
  147. "Hi, Twilight."
  148. >"Nice backpack. Are you going camping?"
  149. >She smiles.
  150. "Uhhh... yeah. I thought I'd check out the show before heading out."
  151. >Twilight shakes her head.
  152. >"Still thinking about magic? Well you know I can show you everything you want."
  153. >She waves a hoof and fireworks explode above you.
  154. "That's a neat trick."
  155. >"I can also make things... appear... and disappear..."
  156. 3/10
  157. >She blushes.
  158. >She couldn't be talking about...
  159. >Fuck.
  160. >Why do only the crazy ones like you?
  161. "Twilight..."
  162. >"Yes, I will..."
  163. "Will what?"
  164. >"Go on a date with you."
  165. >She takes a step forward.
  166. >You sigh.
  167. "I'm running late, we can talk about this another time."
  168. >You start walking away.
  169. >You hear Twilight pout.
  170. >"There never is another time..."
  171. >
  172. >
  173. >It takes a few minutes to find the right path.
  174. >You can see Trixie's cart in the distance.
  175. >Tracking her is easy.
  176. >You're far away enough that she doesn't notice you.
  177. >
  178. >
  179. >About an hour later she stops.
  180. >She pulls her cart off the road and enters through a small door.
  181. >This is your chance.
  182. >You start walking up.
  183. >When you arrive at the door something stops you from knocking.
  184. >You hear crying.
  185. >Every now and then you hear a shout, but it’s muffled.
  186. >You didn’t pack up your things for nothing.
  187. >You knock.
  188. >You hear shuffling.
  189. >”The Great and Powerful Trixie is not seeing fans right now.”
  190. ”Trixie, I saw how you were treated back there,” you say through the door.
  191. >”Those mouth breathers wouldn’t know magic if it smacked them in the face.”
  192. ”Are you really a magician?”
  193. >”Trixie is not seeing fans right now,” she repeats.
  194. ”I’ve been looking for someone to teach me.”
  195. >”Trixie has no need for students. Go away.”
  196. ”Listen, no one will teach me. Even Twilight re-“
  197. >The door swings open.
  198. >”Don’t ever say that name around Trixie!”
  199. >She gives you a confused look.
  200. >”What are you?”
  201. ”A human from another dimension. I was sent here to study under the most powerful pony. That’s why I came to you,” you lie.
  202. 4/10
  203. >She squints at you.
  204. >”You’re lying.”
  205. “Just give me a chance.”
  206. >She thinks it over for a moment.
  207. >”Show Trixie what you know,” she says flatly.
  208. >You motion her to exit the cart, and she humors you.
  209. >You close the door behind her.
  210. ”Open sesame.”
  211. >It opens slightly.
  212. >”That’s it?”
  213. ”That’s it,” you concede.
  214. >”Ha. Trixie has neither the time nor patience to train somepony as weak as you. Good day.”
  215. >She enters the cart and slams the door.
  216. >Fucking bitch.
  217. >Still she didn’t say it was forbidden to train you.
  218. ”I’m going to stay until you give me a chance!”
  219. >She doesn’t bother to yell anything back.
  220. >
  221. >
  222. >The next day.
  223. >You should have brought a tent.
  224. >Luckily it didn’t rain, but now the sky is cloudy.
  225. >A tarp won’t keep you dry forever.
  226. >If things don’t work out you’ll go back home and get some serious gear together.
  227. >The Crystal Kingdom probably isn’t too cold this time of year.
  228. >”You’re still here?”
  229. >You turn toward the voice slowly.
  230. ”Yeah.”
  231. >She frowns at you.
  232. >”If you’re going to stick around you’d better make yourself useful. Trixie needs more firewood.”
  233. >She magics over an axe, and leaves you to your task.
  234. >
  235. >
  236. >A few hours later you have gathered enough wood for a couple of days.
  237. >”Good job, human. Trixie is pleased by your efforts.”
  238. “My name is Anon. Anonymous F. Nohtfound.”
  239. >”This is a normal name for humans?”
  240. “Is Trixie a normal name for ponies?”
  241. >”Hmmph.”
  242. >She turns away from you.
  243. >Her cape billows in the wind.
  244. 5/10
  245. >”Trixie’s Amazing School for Gifted and Talented Ponies is not cheap. Trixie requires one hundred bits a day.”
  246. ”A hundred bits? That’s too much.”
  247. >”If you want to learn from the best, then you have to pay the fees.”
  248. ”Ten bits a day.”
  249. >”No. Trixie will not accept that meagre offer.”
  250. >Now what?
  251. ”What about an apprenticeship?”
  252. >”I doubt you could handle the workload.”
  253. >You clench a fist.
  254. >Better change your tactics.
  255. ”I saw what happened back there. I don’t think you can even do real magic.”
  256. >”Trixie has more power than you know.”
  257. ”So much power that people call you a fraud?”
  258. >She glares at you.
  259. >You hear thunder in the distance.
  260. >Maybe you went too far.
  261. >”Fine. Trixie will humor you for a few days, human.”
  262. ”Anon.”
  263. >”Whatever.”
  264. >
  265. >
  266. >It starts raining half an hour later.
  267. >Because you don’t have a tent, and also because Trixie has tired of smelling a disgusting human, you convince her to bring her cart to your house.
  268. >You had to pull it the entire way.
  269. >Luckily you cleaned your house a few days ago.
  270. >You live on the outskirts of town, so ponies probably won’t hassle your guest.
  271. >”This is your house?”
  272. ”Yeah. Pretty sweet, huh?”
  273. >”It’s small.”
  274. ”You have something better?”
  275. >”Trixie has many houses. Each bigger and more amazing than the last.”
  276. >Sure.
  277. “Well, it’s all I have. Make yourself at home. I’m going to hop in the shower.”
  278. >
  279. >
  280. >When you return you find her sleeping on your couch.
  281. >Strange that she choose there instead of in her cart.
  282. >You adjust her cape so it covers her.
  283. 6/10
  284. >
  285. >
  286. >The next day.
  287. >”There are many different styles and areas of study. Trixie primarily focuses on illusions.”
  288. >She makes a double of herself.
  289. >”You’re looking as radiant as ever, Trixie.”
  290. >”Why thank you, Trixie,” she says to her double.
  291. >She waves a hoof and it disappears.
  292. >”Now what are you interested in learning?”
  293. ”I want to shoot fire, send lighting bolts, create voi-“
  294. >”So you want arcane magic. Trixie happens to know a few things about that.”
  295. >You follow her outside.
  296. >”Now watch in awe as Trixie shows you her power.”
  297. >She throws a block of wood in the air, then shoots flames from an outstretched hoof.
  298. >The block explodes on contact.
  299. “Cool.”
  300. >”We’ll start with fire.”
  301. >She flicks a hoof and a small flame hovers just over it.
  302. >A hoof brushes it aside.
  303. >”Always cast with your right hoof, and cancel with your left.”
  304. ”Why?”
  305. >She looks at you like you are the dumbest man alive.
  306. >”Because that’s how ponies learn magic. It's simple enough for even you to understand. Now, watch closely.”
  307. >She repeats the motion, but does it very slowly.
  308. >Trixie outstretches a hoof, makes a one quarter clockwise turn, then flicks her hoof out.
  309. >Again a small flame appears.
  310. >She cancels it and repeats the motion.
  311. >”Imagine that you are holding fire as you make the turn.”
  312. >Another small flame.
  313. >”Now you try.”
  314. >You outstretch your hand.
  315. >She grabs your arm and moves it into place.
  316. >”There.”
  317. >You imitate her motion.
  318. >Nothing.
  319. >”You’re doing it wrong.”
  320. ”I’m trying.”
  321. >You try a few more times before she stops you.
  322. >”Build energy in your hand before making the turn.”
  323. ”How do I do that?”
  324. >”Does Trixie have to explain everything?”
  325. 7/10
  326. >She practically yanks your arm off and hits your palm.
  327. >It feels warm.
  328. >”There. Now hold out your hand, and try to hold the fire as long as possible.”
  329. >She passes the flame to you.
  330. >Holy shit you’re actually doing it.
  331. “Ow, fuck.”
  332. >You flick your hand out and the flame nearly engulfs your hand.
  333. >Trixie quickly cancels it with her left hoof.
  334. >She creates a trickle of cold water to sooth the burn.
  335. >”That’s why you don’t play with fire, human.”
  336. ”Anon.”
  337. >
  338. >
  339. >”Human, somepony is at your door.”
  340. >You flick your wrist and create a small glow.
  341. ”Hey check it out, I finally got it.”
  342. >”Human. Are you going to answer it?”
  343. ”I have a name.”
  344. >You hear another knock.
  345. >Again you create a spark.
  346. >”Arrgggh… Fine I’ll get it.”
  347. >You hear her descend the stairs.
  348. >It took five days but you can finally do it.
  349. >Trixie refused to teach you anything else until you could create flame on your own.
  350. >”What are you doing here?”
  351. >”The Great and Powerful Trixie can go wherever she pleases.”
  352. >The door slams shut.
  353. >”What did you do with Anon?!”
  354. >You hear an explosion.
  355. >Shit.
  356. >”Where’s Anon?!” Twilight shouts.
  357. >You run downstairs.
  358. ”I’m here. Everything’s fine.”
  359. >Your door is in pieces.
  360. >Trixie is dazed on the floor, but quickly picks herself up.
  361. >”Oh… I thought the worse when I saw…” Twilight adds disgust to her voice. “Her.”
  362. >”Trixie is not a monster.”
  363. >Twilight sneers at your teacher.
  364. “Trixie, can you do me a favor and hang out in the other room for now?”
  365. >She opens her mouth to berate you, but then thinks better of it.
  366. >”Fine.”
  367. >You wait for her to leave before you address your new guest.
  368. 8/10
  369. ”Sorry about that. How can I help you?”
  370. >”Your book is two days overdue.”
  371. “My book? Oh, right. Sorry I thought I signed it out for two weeks, not one.”
  372. >Now where did you put it?
  373. >Better stall her.
  374. >Your charm always seems to work with Twilight.
  375. ”You didn’t come out all this way just for that did you?” You smile.
  376. >Twilight takes a deep breath.
  377. >”Anon, this is the fourth time you’ve been tardy.”
  378. >She moves toward you.
  379. >”And every time that happens you make me visit you.”
  380. >Another step.
  381. >”All the other ponies return their books on time…”
  382. >She's only a pace away now.
  383. >”So that must mean that you want to see me…”
  384. >She flies up and leans on you.
  385. >”You don’t have to hide your feelings from me, Anon.”
  386. >She pauses.
  387. >Waiting for your response.
  388. “Twilight, I –“
  389. >Her lips stop you from speaking.
  390. >Just a peck.
  391. >She just stole your first kiss.
  392. >And you liked it.
  393. >Twilight gives you bedroom eyes.
  394. >But you cant…
  395. >You’ll lose your powers.
  396. >You put a hand on her and take a step back.
  397. ”Twilight, I can’t be with you. I can’t be with anyone.”
  398. >”Is it something I said? What did I do wrong?”
  399. ”You didn’t-“
  400. >”Its… her… isn’t it?”
  401. >Twilight’s eyes dart to the right.
  402. >You turn your head to see Trixie peeking.
  403. >She quickly hides again.
  404. ”Trixie? No.”
  405. >”What does she have that I don’t?”
  406. >Twilight pushes you.
  407. >”She’s just a fake.”
  408. >”Trixie is not a fake!”
  409. >Your teacher jumps from the other room with her horn charged.
  410. >”Anon belongs to me you floozy!”
  411. >”Trixie would never date a creature as ugly as Anon.”
  412. >She finally said your name.
  413. >Even though it was an insult.
  414. >Twilight charges her horn.
  415. >You jump between them.
  416. 9/10
  417. ”Hold on, hold on. Let’s all just calm down.”
  418. >A cool wind blows through the now empty doorway.
  419. ”There is nothing happening between Trixie and I. She is…”
  420. >You can’t tell Twilight that you’re learning magic.
  421. >It’s forbidden.
  422. ”Her cart broke down and now she is staying here for a few days.”
  423. >Twilight narrows her eyes at you.
  424. ”It’s the truth,” you lie.
  425. >Twilight sighs and lowers her magic.
  426. >”I guess it’s the polite thing to do.”
  427. >You see the book in the corner of your eye.
  428. >You quickly pick it up and hand it to Twilight.
  429. ”Here. Sorry I was late again.”
  430. >She magics the book from you and places it in her pouch.
  431. >”I know you’ll come around, Anon.”
  432. >She blinks back to her treebary.
  433. >
  434. >
  435. ”Trixie, please don’t leave.”
  436. >”Trixie doesn’t want to be involved in your sick affairs, Anon.”
  437. ”I’m begging you.”
  438. >”Trixie will leave a few spells for you to learn.”
  439. ”It’s the only way to stop her!”
  440. >Trixie stops in her tracks.
  441. >She doesn’t turn to face you.
  442. >”Stop who?”
  443. ”Twilight has been getting more aggressive lately.”
  444. >”Then you should sleep with that harlot. You two are perfect for each other.”
  445. ”No…”
  446. >How can you explain something like this to a pony?
  447. ”Trixie. I’ll loose my powers if I sleep with anyone.”
  448. >”Ha. That’s ridiculous,” she scoffs.
  449. ”I get my powers from being a virgin. I turned thirty a few days ago.”
  450. >She turns to you slowly.
  451. ”You’ve never been with anypony?”
  452. >Trixie gives you a confused look.
  453. >You shake your head.
  454. >Trixie laughs at you.
  455. >”Good luck, Anon.”
  456. ”Trixie, this is your chance to hurt her. To hurt Twilight.”
  457. >She raises an eyebrow.
  458. “You saw how she acted. She practically threw herself at me.”
  459. >You get on your knees.
  460. ”Please. Will the Great and Powerful Trixie help this poor human? Won’t you climb down from your throne?”
  461. >Trixie frowns.
  462. ”Please.”
  463. >She looks away.
  464. >”Trixie will help.”
  465. 10/10
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