Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- ********************
- Torque Malayalam Movie Download
- http://urllio.com/r04zx
- (Copy & Paste link)
- ********************
- Biker Cary Ford is framed by an old rival and biker gang leader for the murder of another gang member who happens to be the brother of Trey (Ice Cube), leader of the most feared biker gang in the country. Ford is now on the run trying to clear his name from the murder with Trey and his gang looking for his blood.
- "If you're looking for trouble you came to the right place." "Lucky for you, I'm running a 2-for-1 special." "Can I get fries with that?"<br/><br/>Ladies and gentlemen, it's dialogue like that that helped me make the decision to become a movie reviewer. This is a bad movie folks, but if you like movies that are laughably bad, then this one should make you happy. Plot? I've seen more cohesiveness in the bathroom aftermath of a $10 Taco Bell binge. Dialogue? Cheesy one-liner heaven. Stunts? I've seen Wile E. Coyote pull off more believable stuff. You've got motorcycles jumping on trains, riding on the front wheel, and chasing each other at what looks to be about 400 mph (using the ever-so-hip warped speed effect). It's one eye rolling action sequence after another. You wanna know how bad the movie is? Let me break it down:<br/><br/>*Our hero, Cary Ford (doing his best Tom Cruise/Josh Lucas impersonation) and his biker friends dress like Power Rangers. Who is going to be scared of bikers wearing red, green, and yellow leather?<br/><br/>*Henry (Matt Schulze), the main bad guy, has the absolute WORST mullet I have ever seen on the big screen. I dare you to find one that's worse. I'm not kidding, if the hairdos of Sinéad O'Connor and Billy Ray Cyrus had a deformed lovechild it'd be Henry's mullet.<br/><br/>*Just to make Henry more annoying, he was required to spend the entire movie talking in your typical D-movie husky bad guy voice. Imagine Alec Baldwin talking while constipated. Now imagine playing that in slow motion. You now have an idea of how Henry sounded.<br/><br/>*Gangs had such original names as the "Reapers" and the "Hellions." I'm gonna get a couple of friends together, and we're gonna call ourselves names like Venom, Scorpion, and Snake, and I think we'll be the Razors. It's gonna rule.<br/><br/>*We're supposed to think closing your cell phone with your head makes you tough. I'm just glad to know that it's now socially acceptable for tough-as-nails motorcycle gang leaders to use cell phones. That's a barrier whose breaking has been long overdue.<br/><br/>*Ford mumbles through lines like, "I'd rather be fast than invisible" when explaining why he'd rather ride than hide from the gang that's trying to kill him. Yeah, because that makes sense?<br/><br/>*The FBI agents in this movie are laughable. The chick wants to be Jada Pinkett Smith so bad you can just feel her pain. And McPherson? Was this guy supposed to be a cartoon character? Oh, and you know who played him? ADAM SCOTT! I'm sure no one has ever heard of him, but during the movie I leaned over and asked Stephanie, "Isn't that the guy from 'Party of Five' who played Claudia's boyfriend? You know, the rock and roll dude who mentioned rummaging through John Fogerty's garbage for a guitar string?" It turns out I was right! And you know, I'm just a little too eager to share that with y'all.<br/><br/>*Ice Cube delivered every single one of his lines with a snarl and his lip curled up to his eyebrow.<br/><br/>I could go on, but I think you know what to expect. <br/><br/>There actually was one clever moment in the movie. Ford and his ex-girlfriend (Monet Mazur) were having some sort of worthless discussion, and Ford ended with, "I live my life a quarter mile at a time." Many of you may recognize that as one of Vin Diesel's lines from "The Fast and the Furious." I started to think, "Holy cow, they just stole a line from TF&TF?" but then Mazur's character replied with, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." I was actually shocked that they did something clever.<br/><br/>If you want to compare "Torque" to other movies in its genre, well, "Torque" makes "The Fast and The Furious" (which I like) look like an Oscar winner. I take that back, it makes "2 Fast 2 Furious" look like an Oscar winner! Oh, and if you've seen a poster of "Torque," then you've probably seen "From the producer of The Fast and The Furious, XXX And S.W.A.T." in big red letters near the bottom. I think it's a pretty safe bet that you won't be seeing "From the producer of Torque" on any posters any time soon.<br/><br/>In all fairness, I don't think the people behind "Torque" were trying to make a good movie. At least I sure hope they weren't. The entire movie has such a cartoonish feel that you have to assume that they said to themselves, "Let's cheese this up as much as possible, have fun forcing the critics to sit through this, and make some cash." I kept expecting one of the good guy bikers to beat up a bad guy biker and then look into the camera, remark, "Stick a TORQUE in him, he's done," wink, and then ride off into the sunset. You know what's really sad? That would've actually been one of the better lines in the movie. If nothing else, movies like this give fledgling writers everywhere a glimmer of hope.<br/><br/>THE GIST <br/><br/>Throw this one into the "so bad it's entertaining" category. If you don't like to make fun of really bad movies, and if you don't like to laugh at incredibly cheesy one-liners, and if you don't find humor in making fun of people with horrible mullets, then don't bother with "Torque." But if the above sounds good to you, then I recommend seeing this with at least 4 people and spending as little money on it as possible. If you see it with only two people then you run the risk of the other person falling asleep, and this isn't a movie you want to watch by yourself.<br/><br/>You know how when someone at work says and/or does something stupid? You laugh and can't wait to tell your friends about it, right? Well, consider "Torque" that stupid coworker.
- A lot of folks are taking this movie the wrong way. It's not trying to be anything it's not; a biker flick. If you're going to this movie for an indepth plot, great acting or awesome direction; you've chosen the wrong movie. But if you just want 80 minutes of pure popcorn fun this is it.
- With the exception of a decent train-top chase, Torque is all vroom and no action.
- a5c7b9f00b
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
