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Alivieina

Luluuuuu~

Alivieina
Jun 19th, 2017
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  1. [6/16/17, 12:45:55 PM] TemporaryButterfly: I'm sorry if I've upset you or frustrated or made things worse in any way...I was trying to make things better and it wasn't and i'm so osrry.
  2. [6/16/17, 8:22:46 PM] Ashley (Alivi): It’s only worse in your mind. Take the lesson, and move forward and things will get better.
  3. [6/18/17, 1:09:04 PM] TemporaryButterfly: i just feel shitty bc of an official warning when I was trying to improve...and i'm sorry to have upset anyone.
  4. [6/18/17, 1:28:08 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Well now we know what to improve on more.
  5. [6/18/17, 1:29:27 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and for that I don't know if I can...since I thought I was improving...and I don't know if I can do any better and i'm afraid i'll just make it worse for others.
  6. [6/18/17, 1:29:32 PM] TemporaryButterfly: which is not what I want to do.
  7. [6/18/17, 1:29:49 PM] Ashley (Alivi): You just need to be more aware of your RP partners
  8. [6/18/17, 1:29:55 PM] Ashley (Alivi): RP is a co-hesive thing
  9. [6/18/17, 1:30:10 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Be aware of how you request things.
  10. [6/18/17, 1:30:36 PM] Ashley (Alivi): We added a new subforum where we talk about requesting plots for a character
  11. [6/18/17, 1:30:40 PM] Ashley (Alivi): so like Hera wants a champion
  12. [6/18/17, 1:30:48 PM] Ashley (Alivi): so I’ll post there asking for someone to be her champion
  13. [6/18/17, 1:31:00 PM] Ashley (Alivi): You got to decide what you want and how you get it
  14. [6/18/17, 1:31:13 PM] Ashley (Alivi): but you also have to be aware on any impacts that it will have on other characters close to yours
  15. [6/18/17, 1:31:47 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Its why I cant just have Lori get severely injured or kidnapped and tortured without talking to Lady Archive first since she has Jack and as a result if Lori was in trouble it’d affect him
  16. [6/18/17, 1:33:57 PM] TemporaryButterfly: right...I just don't...know how to fix it.and thought that I had and was.
  17. [6/18/17, 1:34:14 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and i'm thinking of shelving ella and going on hiatus bc it might be best for everyone that way.
  18. [6/18/17, 1:34:35 PM] Ashley (Alivi): I mean I cant say what is or what isnt best for you
  19. [6/18/17, 1:34:37 PM] Ashley (Alivi): since Im not you
  20. [6/18/17, 1:34:44 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you have to make your own decisions on what is best for you
  21. [6/18/17, 1:35:00 PM] TemporaryButterfly: I've just had this constant anxiety/fear that i'll upset and hurt someone and I've done just that...
  22. [6/18/17, 1:35:10 PM] TemporaryButterfly: so it might be best for everyone if I end up on hiatus and just...I dunno...move on.
  23. [6/18/17, 1:35:17 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you cant live your life in fear
  24. [6/18/17, 1:35:29 PM] Ashley (Alivi): and the more you berate yourself and overthink it
  25. [6/18/17, 1:35:32 PM] Ashley (Alivi): the worse you’ll make it
  26. [6/18/17, 1:35:38 PM] TemporaryButterfly: i got officially warned...
  27. [6/18/17, 1:35:42 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Yea?
  28. [6/18/17, 1:35:44 PM] Ashley (Alivi): And so?
  29. [6/18/17, 1:35:47 PM] Ashley (Alivi): It’s 1 warning
  30. [6/18/17, 1:35:49 PM] Ashley (Alivi): it happens
  31. [6/18/17, 1:35:51 PM] TemporaryButterfly: which means i'm shitty and hurt someone or more than one person.
  32. [6/18/17, 1:36:04 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and took fun out of what they were doing and was selfish somehow withoutmeaning to and i don't know how to fix it..
  33. [6/18/17, 1:36:15 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you fix it by being more considerate
  34. [6/18/17, 1:36:28 PM] Ashley (Alivi): and instead of fishing for plots like you sometimes tend to do, be direct but also respectful
  35. [6/18/17, 1:36:37 PM] Ashley (Alivi): if someone wants to take advantage of Ella’s curse- awesome
  36. [6/18/17, 1:36:58 PM] Ashley (Alivi): but you can’t force it and no one’s character is gonna be made to forever want to and ONLY want to take advantage of her curse
  37. [6/18/17, 1:37:08 PM] TemporaryButterfly: i'm sory if I've been disprectful...
  38. [6/18/17, 1:37:55 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and it's part of why since i suppose i haven't been more considerate and have hurt people...and have been an idiot...i think it might be best to take a step back.
  39. [6/18/17, 1:37:59 PM] TemporaryButterfly: so i don't hurt anyone else.
  40. [6/18/17, 1:38:18 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you have a couple choices before you
  41. [6/18/17, 1:39:16 PM] Ashley (Alivi): 1- Say sorry and don’t do anything about it. Just keep saying Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry. But never take action and inevitably we will have this conversation again
  42.  
  43. 2- Say sorry and try to improve it. Ask for advice and help from staff or friends. Ask people “How should I approach this so I am better” and put it into action
  44. [6/18/17, 1:39:23 PM] Ashley (Alivi): 3- Leave.
  45. [6/18/17, 1:39:36 PM] Ashley (Alivi): But when looking at number 3 i have to ask you- why
  46. [6/18/17, 1:39:44 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you said “Oh so I don’t hurt anyone else"
  47. [6/18/17, 1:39:53 PM] Ashley (Alivi): to that I reply- what about people who are plotting with your characters?
  48. [6/18/17, 1:40:03 PM] Ashley (Alivi): What about Nico with Jack Frost or Nara with Sophie?
  49. [6/18/17, 1:40:07 PM] Ashley (Alivi): What about Momo with Ivan
  50. [6/18/17, 1:40:17 PM] Ashley (Alivi): If you need to take a hiatus, calm down get your head on straight- fine.
  51. [6/18/17, 1:40:22 PM] TemporaryButterfly: they have other people to plot with too and i haven't had much going on with the characters that i do have...and...I've been inconsiderate and disrespectful to everyone...
  52. [6/18/17, 1:40:30 PM] Ashley (Alivi): But don’t act like leaving just means that you can tap out
  53. [6/18/17, 1:40:41 PM] Ashley (Alivi): I think you blow things up way too much
  54. [6/18/17, 1:40:59 PM] TemporaryButterfly: bc i feel shitty bc i hurt people
  55. [6/18/17, 1:41:00 PM] TemporaryButterfly: again
  56. [6/18/17, 1:41:03 PM] TemporaryButterfly: without wanting to
  57. [6/18/17, 1:41:08 PM] TemporaryButterfly: or meaning to and yet i keep doing it.
  58. [6/18/17, 1:41:15 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and messing things up. and i don't want to hurt people.
  59. [6/18/17, 1:41:17 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Then ask for help
  60. [6/18/17, 1:41:33 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you have all the power here temp
  61. [6/18/17, 1:41:44 PM] TemporaryButterfly: i don't know if i can anymore...bc I've tried
  62. [6/18/17, 1:41:54 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and to know that one or more people reported and were hurt by me...
  63. [6/18/17, 1:41:57 PM] TemporaryButterfly: i just don't know if it's worth it.
  64. [6/18/17, 1:42:26 PM] TemporaryButterfly: i thought i was getting better and improving...and if I've been here this long and still having this problem.
  65. [6/18/17, 1:42:40 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and hardly anyone's plotting with my characters anyway...i just don't know what else to do.
  66. [6/18/17, 1:43:05 PM] Ashley (Alivi): ok but honestly
  67. [6/18/17, 1:43:08 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and maybe at this point i might not even be cut out for group rp to begin with...
  68. [6/18/17, 1:43:10 PM] Ashley (Alivi): its all related to the same issue
  69. [6/18/17, 1:43:25 PM] TemporaryButterfly: that i'm inconsiderate and disrespectful...
  70. [6/18/17, 1:43:25 PM] Ashley (Alivi): You got better about it in the ICC
  71. [6/18/17, 1:43:34 PM] Ashley (Alivi): just need to get better about it in the forum
  72. [6/18/17, 1:43:43 PM] Ashley (Alivi): i mean if you wanna phrase it that way- ok.
  73. [6/18/17, 1:43:46 PM] Ashley (Alivi): I think its overboard
  74. [6/18/17, 1:43:48 PM] Ashley (Alivi): but Im not you
  75. [6/18/17, 1:43:55 PM] Ashley (Alivi): We just said- Hey this is an issue
  76. [6/18/17, 1:44:13 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you’ve taken it and made it into something fucking huge on how you are some scum of the earth person and dont deserve to be here.
  77. [6/18/17, 1:44:16 PM] Ashley (Alivi): And NO ONE has said that
  78. [6/18/17, 1:44:28 PM] Ashley (Alivi): I think if I had to phrase it
  79. [6/18/17, 1:44:28 PM] TemporaryButterfly: bc i have a fear of hurting/upsetting people
  80. [6/18/17, 1:44:29 PM] Ashley (Alivi): the issue is
  81. [6/18/17, 1:44:30 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and I've done that.
  82. [6/18/17, 1:44:48 PM] Ashley (Alivi): you need to be more upfront with what you want instead of dancing around. And you need to lay off the character torture.
  83. [6/18/17, 1:45:05 PM] Ashley (Alivi): torture is fine in small doses
  84. [6/18/17, 1:45:12 PM] Ashley (Alivi): but it should be used to up development not replace it
  85. [6/18/17, 1:45:30 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and the only thing i had going for ella right now was the ball and that was positive...
  86. [6/18/17, 1:45:40 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and robin doesn't have anything and jcak was starting off on a good foot with an interesting plot.
  87. [6/18/17, 1:45:43 PM] Ashley (Alivi): yea
  88. [6/18/17, 1:45:44 PM] TemporaryButterfly: that was not negative
  89. [6/18/17, 1:45:48 PM] Ashley (Alivi): which again was good
  90. [6/18/17, 1:45:53 PM] Ashley (Alivi): so the recent complaint is
  91. [6/18/17, 1:45:58 PM] Ashley (Alivi): we wanna look at how you ask people for plots
  92. [6/18/17, 1:46:19 PM] Ashley (Alivi): So let’s say I want someone to punish Lori since she is a traitor to the Anti-Guardians
  93. [6/18/17, 1:46:30 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Which plot suggestion sounds better
  94. [6/18/17, 1:50:37 PM] Ashley (Alivi): A: Lori was recently a traitor to the Anti-Guardians and so I am sure your character would really want to punish her. And she’d be unable to really get away. It’d be so bad. I don’t mind torture but nothing body scarring of course. But yea I am sure your person would wanna get at her. Right?
  95.  
  96. B: So actually Lori betrayed the Anti-Guardians and is now kinda somewhere in the middle. So if our people meet this could very much come into play unless your character doesn’t care about that sort of stuff. I’d be interested in talking about these two more if you think something is there.
  97. [6/18/17, 1:51:54 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Alternatively- now I can just post “Hey I want an Anti-Guardian and Lori to meet seeing as now she isn’t in the Antis anymore and I think it’d be interesting” in the Plot Requests Forum.
  98. [6/18/17, 1:52:03 PM] Ashley (Alivi): but for now lets focus on how A and B sounds
  99. [6/18/17, 1:53:05 PM] TemporaryButterfly: the second's better and I've been screwing up and sayingthe first more and i'm sorry...
  100. [6/18/17, 1:53:16 PM] Ashley (Alivi): ok but like
  101. [6/18/17, 1:53:22 PM] Ashley (Alivi): why do you think the first sounds bad
  102. [6/18/17, 1:53:39 PM] TemporaryButterfly: which is hwy i should just shelve ella since she seems to be the one causing the trouble and how i approach it...
  103. [6/18/17, 1:53:48 PM] TemporaryButterfly: bc it makes me sound like a sick asshole who's pushing for plots...
  104. [6/18/17, 1:53:59 PM] Ashley (Alivi): how
  105. [6/18/17, 1:54:02 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Look at the language
  106. [6/18/17, 1:54:20 PM] Ashley (Alivi): and it isnt just Ella, Jamie and Jack kinda have concerns about it too
  107. [6/18/17, 1:54:47 PM] TemporaryButterfly: which is why i'm probably not cut out for group rp...
  108. [6/18/17, 1:54:50 PM] Ashley (Alivi): It might be easy to say ‘shelve Ella’ but honestly there is more and it isnt solving the root of it
  109. [6/18/17, 1:55:07 PM] Ashley (Alivi): In A- Im making assumptions about the other player and character
  110. [6/18/17, 1:55:10 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and since i can't seem to fix it and keep hurting people
  111. [6/18/17, 1:55:28 PM] TemporaryButterfly: then i'm thinking about going on hiatus and then probably dropping .
  112. [6/18/17, 1:55:31 PM] Ashley (Alivi): In A i dont care about my partner so long as I get what I want. You know me. That isnt who I am. Just like it isnt how you are
  113. [6/18/17, 1:56:19 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and im' sory for constantly doing that and coming off that way and being a dick to my partners...
  114. [6/18/17, 1:56:51 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and at this point...i don't know...i might be beyond help.
  115. [6/18/17, 1:59:38 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and for now i'm going on hiatus...
  116. [6/18/17, 2:03:00 PM] Ashley (Alivi): You gotta do whats best for you
  117. [6/18/17, 2:04:36 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and i don't th ink i'm what's best for the site...I've had chances and I've managed to muck it up and be selfishw hen it wasn't intended...
  118. [6/18/17, 2:04:49 PM] TemporaryButterfly: but right now i just look at it and feel guilt
  119. [6/18/17, 2:06:26 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and I've had drama with other groups and things like that before too so maybe it is mew and I've been thep roblem the whole time and i just can't cope with group rps.
  120. [6/18/17, 2:06:31 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and that's nothing against you guys at all...
  121. [6/18/17, 2:06:36 PM] TemporaryButterfly: i'm just...probably not cut out for it.
  122. [6/18/17, 2:09:05 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and I truly am sorry for how selfish and awful I've been to other players...and wish to take it all back.
  123. [6/18/17, 2:12:02 PM] TemporaryButterfly: I appreciate you giving me the chance and i'm sorry to have messed it up as I have...but for right now i'm just going to have to step away before I make it worse.
  124. [6/18/17, 2:16:07 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and i'm sorry if I hurt you personally at all with any of this...you've tried to help and I appreciate that.
  125. [6/18/17, 2:16:15 PM] Ashley (Alivi): im not personally hurt
  126. [6/18/17, 2:16:20 PM] Ashley (Alivi): dunno where youd get that idea
  127. [6/18/17, 2:16:35 PM] TemporaryButterfly: bc I feel like I've been seflsih and hurtful and disrespectful...
  128. [6/18/17, 2:16:52 PM] TemporaryButterfly: to everyone I've tried to plot with and feel a lot of guilt right now.
  129. [6/18/17, 2:17:07 PM] Ashley (Alivi): imean ive said it before
  130. [6/18/17, 2:17:12 PM] Ashley (Alivi): i think you are blowing it up
  131. [6/18/17, 2:17:16 PM] Ashley (Alivi): out of proportion
  132. [6/18/17, 2:17:35 PM] TemporaryButterfly: I tend to do that...and you're right. I just feel really shitty right now bc like I said my biggest fear is upsetting/hurting someone without meaning to.
  133. [6/18/17, 2:17:47 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and I've done that and it sucks.
  134. [6/18/17, 2:18:12 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and if you could on my behalf to whoever it was I offended let them know that I am truly sorry.
  135. [6/18/17, 2:24:29 PM] TemporaryButterfly: and that's also why I feel like I should just move on if muse doesn't come back after this hiatus...i'm not learning . I plot all of my characters incorrectly and push people away because of it.i have very few if any plots going on and hardly anyone has bothered with my new character as well. and i'd feel to paranoid about messing up again to enjoy anything.
  136. [6/18/17, 2:35:06 PM] TemporaryButterfly: sorry for bothering...
  137. [6/18/17, 2:35:59 PM] Ashley (Alivi): everything i can or want to say
  138. [6/18/17, 2:36:00 PM] Ashley (Alivi): ive already said
  139. [6/18/17, 2:36:15 PM] Ashley (Alivi): And I know Kat has given similar advice
  140. [6/18/17, 2:36:20 PM] Ashley (Alivi): Im sure Carma and Lady would too
  141. [6/18/17, 2:37:30 PM] TemporaryButterfly: I understand...I just think it'll be best for the site to at some point move on...and I apologize for any issues and i'll leave you alone...
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