Akolit vs the awkwardly long living zombie imps

You attack before the enemy is ready, giving you a free attack. Roll to hit the tiaraed imp.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to hit
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit [ 1d20=14 ]{17}
vampsquirrel
Your attack connects, roll damage.
Akolit
roll 1d6+3
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d6+3 [ 1d6=3 ]{6}
vampsquirrel
Your fist crashes into the tiaraed imp, causing it to explode into weird gusher like things.
The other imps seem a little distressed by this but are prepared to fight on. Roll initiative.
roll 6#1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 6#1d20-1 [ 1d20=18 ]{17}, [ 1d20=19 ]{18}, [ 1d20=1 ]{0}, [ 1d20=10 ]{9}, [ 1d20=14 ]{13}, [ 1d20=16 ]{15}
Akolit
(minor attack?)
roll 1d20+2
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=17 ]{19}
vampsquirrel
Alright, you go first, time to show these imps who's boss.
Akolit
You look at the slimy imp and reach into its mind
roll 1d20+3 to mindcontrol
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to mindcontrol [ 1d20=3 ]{6}
vampsquirrel
(uh, ok firstly you fail, secondly you don't have enough pp to use actual mindcontrol)
Akolit
(wait what lol)
(can I just... not do that then? Man that is going to mess with backstory)
vampsquirrel
(the power mindcontrol costs 25 pp to use, you only have 15)
Akolit
(wow. uh, yeah no MC 4 me for a while. yeesh.)
vampsquirrel
(you can use other subpowers though)
Akolit
(Assist and Psiblade it is)
vampsquirrel
(scan lets you read someone's mind for 12*n pp, nihlism lets you calm a target for 12*n pp, and emotional tweak lets you make someone feel an emotion for 8*n pp)
(it's sort of awkward to say that you tried to use an ability you can't and then failed with it so I'll let you use a different major action.)
Akolit
(oh okay)
You raise your rear left fist and aim it at the next closest imp
roll 1d20+3 to punch more stuff instead of complex psionic stuff
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to punch more stuff instead of complex psionic stuff [ 1d20=4 ]{7}
Akolit
(or not)
vampsquirrel
The imp dodges out of your fist's way, you have a move and a minor remaining.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to hit minor punch
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit minor punch [ 1d20=3 ]{6}
Akolit
( 3, 4 and 3. the fuck DICE.)
vampsquirrel
Your minor punch misses too, you're not having a very good time of this.
Akolit
You move back 30 feet, drawing the imps further into the cave
vampsquirrel
You have a move action remaining.
Akolit
end
vampsquirrel
The imps all rush at you and try to hit you in succession.
roll 5#1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 5#1d20-1 [ 1d20=11 ]{10}, [ 1d20=15 ]{14}, [ 1d20=13 ]{12}, [ 1d20=9 ]{8}, [ 1d20=14 ]{13}
Akolit
(wow they all missed lol)
vampsquirrel
Their blows fall ineffectively on your armor, it's your turn again and the imps are a little frightened.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to hit
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit [ 1d20=12 ]{15}
Akolit
(nearest one i guess, who is it)
vampsquirrel
They're all in melee range since they're trying to wail on you. You should choose the target.
There's a bee imp, a slug imp, and three half undead half living surfer imps.
Akolit
bee imp
vampsquirrel
Your fist connects with the bee imp, roll for damage.
Akolit
roll 1d6+3
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d6+3 [ 1d6=5 ]{8}
vampsquirrel
Your fist punches through the bee imp, disintegrating it into more of the gushers.
Akolit
You are disturbed by the damage you are doing but somehow... you want more
roll 1d20+3 for minor punch on one of the surfers
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 for minor punch on one of the surfers [ 1d20=17 ]{20}
Akolit
roll 1d6 for damage
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d6 for damage [ 1d6=3 ]{3}
vampsquirrel
The surfer's half undead body takes your strike and continues lumbering at you.
The imps continue trying to deal some damage to you despite your armor.
roll 4#1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 4#1d20-1 [ 1d20=6 ]{5}, [ 1d20=18 ]{17}, [ 1d20=10 ]{9}, [ 1d20=3 ]{2}
vampsquirrel
roll 1d6-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d6-1 [ 1d6=2 ]{1}
vampsquirrel
One of the surfer's boards manages to hit a weak point, but the blow is still softened enough to the point of barely being noticeable.
You take 1 damage, it's your turn again.
Akolit
(20/21)
You lunge at one of the undamaged surfers to grab it
roll 1d20+4 to grapple
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+4 to grapple [ 1d20=7 ]{11}
vampsquirrel
roll 1d20-1 to resist the grapple
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 to resist the grapple [ 1d20=7 ]{6}
vampsquirrel
You successfully grab the surfer.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to hit the slug imp with the surfer imp
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit the slug imp with the surfer imp [ 1d20=11 ]{14}
vampsquirrel
((make a second roll, because you should probably have disadvantage for this))
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to hit the slug imp with the surfer imp
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit the slug imp with the surfer imp [ 1d20=9 ]{12}
vampsquirrel
The imp connects with the slug imp, roll for damage.
Akolit
roll 1d8+3 for damage
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d8+3 for damage [ 1d8=8 ]{11}
vampsquirrel
You pulverize the slug imp, shattering it into gushers, roll 1d4 for damage to the surfer imp.
Akolit
roll 1d4
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d4 [ 1d4=2 ]{2}
vampsquirrel
The surfer imp is a little damaged, but seems mostly fine. Although, that might just be that he's half undead so he's not really all there.
The remaining surfers, including the one in your hand, swing their boards at you doggedly.
roll 3#1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 3#1d20-1 [ 1d20=18 ]{17}, [ 1d20=2 ]{1}, [ 1d20=18 ]{17}
vampsquirrel
roll 2#1d6-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 2#1d6-1 [ 1d6=4 ]{3}, [ 1d6=1 ]{0}
Akolit
(muh minor action)
vampsquirrel
(You picked an imp up and swung with it, I'm ruling that uses your major and minor)
Akolit
(thats fair)
vampsquirrel
Two of them connect, one actually hurts you for 4 damage as it seems to have stumbled onto a weak point, the other feels like a gentle massage.
The one that didn't connect accidentally throws away his surfboard and half of an arm, he seems unperturbed by this fact.
Your move again.
Akolit
You are a bit disturbed by these little creatures
(16/21)
roll 1d20+3 to hit the non-damaged imp
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit the non-damaged imp [ 1d20=6 ]{9}
vampsquirrel
You connect, man these guys are really slow.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to damage
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to damage [ 1d20=17 ]{20}
Akolit
(oops)
roll 1d6+3 to damage
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d6+3 to damage [ 1d6=3 ]{6}
vampsquirrel
You punch it right in the face, its neck snaps and its head is now lolling on its back held only by a tenuous amount of carapace. The imps are still unperturbed.
Akolit
You blink and swallow
roll 1d20+3 for minor hit
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 for minor hit [ 1d20=9 ]{12}
vampsquirrel
Your minor attack connects, which one are you attacking?
Akolit
roll 1d6 to finish to neck-broken imp
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d6 to finish to neck-broken imp [ 1d6=3 ]{3}
vampsquirrel
You hit it again, this time in the torso. It's head falls off. The imps are still unperturbed and it continues on swinging its surfboard at you doggedly.
The three imps swing their boards at you, even the headless one.
roll 3#1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 3#1d20-1 [ 1d20=15 ]{14}, [ 1d20=18 ]{17}, [ 1d20=10 ]{9}
vampsquirrel
roll 1d6+3
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d6+3 [ 1d6=3 ]{6}
vampsquirrel
The one you're holding manages to hit you in a vulnerable point again, but the blow's cushioned enough that it only does 2 damage.
Akolit
(15/21)
roll 1d20+3 to slug the imp you've been grappling this whole time
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to slug the imp you've been grappling this whole time [ 1d20=20 ]{23}
vampsquirrel
You slug the hell out of it, roll double damage die for your crit.
Akolit
roll 2d6+3 to make it hurt
`DICE
Akolit rolled 2d6+3 to make it hurt [ 2d6=7 ]{10}
vampsquirrel
You punch straight through the imp, and it explodes like a cheap toy. Its limbs all disconnect from its torso so you're only holding a piece of it and the others are just kind of lying around.
Once it's laid like that for long enough to become awkward, it actually disintegrates into more gushers.
Akolit
"Dis9ustin9...."
roll 1d20+3 to minor pwanch the imp with 3 damage on it already
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to minor pwanch the imp with 3 damage on it already [ 1d20=2 ]{5}
Akolit
(shucks)
vampsquirrel
You miss the imp. It doesn't even try to dodge, you just pwanch over its shoulder.
Akolit
You shift to all sixes and crawl up the cave wall
vampsquirrel
You crawl up the cave wall and the imps look at you trying to figure out what to do for a moment.
Eventually the headless one grabs its head and hands it to its less damaged comrade, who promptly tries to throw it at you.
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=12 ]{11}
Akolit
You are very grateful for Velcha's work to allow you to do this
vampsquirrel
It bounces off your armor, and the headless imp looks at the other imp and spreads its arms in a manner indicative of "What the fuck bro?"
Yes, the headless imp *looks* at the other imp, I'm not sure how this works either, but it's happening.
Anyways, back to the combat, the headless imp grabs the first imps detached hand and tries to throw it at you.
roll 1d20-3
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-3 [ 1d20=16 ]{13}
vampsquirrel
It would've probably hurt, if it could see well enough to throw. As is it just kind of flops into the wall and accomplishes nothing.
Your turn.
Akolit
You are disgusted by their utter lack of teamwork and respect for each other
You pounce from the ceiling on the blind one
roll 1d20+3 to hit
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit [ 1d20=16 ]{19}
Akolit
roll 1d6+3 for damage
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d6+3 for damage [ 1d6=2 ]{5}
vampsquirrel
You land on top of it, and it literally falls apart.
After laying in pieces for an uncomfortable amount of time, it disintegrates into more gushers.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to forget about how gross these imps are and minor hit the last one
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to forget about how gross these imps are and minor hit the last one [ 1d20=1 ]{4}
Akolit
(that's what i get for getting sassy lol)
vampsquirrel
You fail and are overcome by how ridiculously gross all this is. Jegus, they just dismember all over the place, what is wrong with this game? You think you'll need to pass a sanity check just to do things on your next turn.
Akolit
(what is
?)
vampsquirrel
Meanwhile the remaining imp swings its claws at you. Or rather claw since its other hand is currently a ways down the tunnel.
(sanity is one of the new skills)
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=17 ]{16}
vampsquirrel
roll 1d4-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d4-1 [ 1d4=2 ]{1}
vampsquirrel
It manages to find a weakness in your armor, and lightly scratches you for 1 damage.
Akolit
(its not on my sheet :( )
(14/21)
vampsquirrel
(it's in the new edition of the phb, you should update it to include sanity)
(anyways, it scales off of WIS, so just roll that)
Akolit
(okie)
roll 1d20 for sanes
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20 for sanes [ 1d20=9 ]{9}
Akolit
(phooie)
vampsquirrel
Your really grossed out, but you manage to suppress your desire to vomit enough that you can take one action this turn.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to make that action a STRONG punch
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to make that action a STRONG punch [ 1d20=2 ]{5}
Akolit
(fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu)
vampsquirrel
You try to make a strong punch and fail. Instead you make a sweet punch and pet the imp kindly. Somewhere in the distance you swear you can hear someone screaming about not petting enemies.
The imp retaliates with a claw swipe.
roll 1d20-1
`DICE
vampsquirrel rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=12 ]{11}
vampsquirrel
Its one armed attack is easily dodged by you, and you're a little miffed at this response to your pet.
Your turn again, you've finally gotten over how grossed out you were.
Akolit
roll 1d20+3 to hit
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d20+3 to hit [ 1d20=10 ]{13}
Akolit
(less sass the better)
vampsquirrel
You finally successfully hit the imp, roll damage.
Akolit
roll 1d6+3 for the paaain
`DICE
Akolit rolled 1d6+3 for the paaain [ 1d6=5 ]{8}
vampsquirrel
Your fist brings the paaain to the poor imp, knocking him to bits. He eventually disintegrates too, but not before laying there dismembered for an uncomfortably long time.
vampsquirrel
You receive 68 build grist 43 tier 1 grist, and 50 xp from all this violence.
Akolit
You breathe slowly
vampsquirrel
You scale another level on your echeladder, attaining the sort-of-appreciable rank Myrmidon't.
vampsquirrel
===END===