12 oz Mouse script: S1E05_Rememorized

ext. street.  Man/Woman is tossing a ball into the air.

MAN/WOMAN: Today's a good day for playing catch.  I wonder who will play catch with me today.

A crowd of people rushes by, followed by Square.

MAN/WOMAN: What the? Stop! Where's everyone going?
SQUARE: Well, first off, all those people are actually following me, because I have a seven thousand mile global head start. So if you think I'm following them, you are wrong. I am a leader, not a follower.
MAN/WOMAN: You play catch with me now.
SQUARE: No, uh... no way in hell.
MAN/WoMAN: Do you know how to play catch?
SQUARE: I know how to play you give me forty dollars.
MAN/WOMAN: It's easy. I throw ball, and you catch ball. Try it now.

Man/Woman throws the ball at square. It bounces off his side.

MAN/WOMAN: You didn't catch the ball. Try again.

Man/Woman thros again, with the same result.

SQUARE: I don't have any arms.
MAN/WOMAN: Oh.
SQUARE: And now that you've made me admit what you wrongfully think is a medical inconsistency, I have to go. I'm extremely late, and you are the one who has problems, not me.

Square leaves.  Rhoda enters.

MAN/WOMAN: Hey! You wanna play catch?
RHODA: Uh, no! I do not. Hey, uh, d'ya happen to see where everyone went to?
MAN/WOMAN: Yes.
RHODA: OKay. Which, uh, way was that to?
MAN/WOMAN: You're ending your sentences in prepositional phrases. You better stop ending your sentences in prepositional phrases.
RHODA: (laughing) Or what?
MAN/WOMAN: Or I'll make it look like you killed me.
RHODA: Yeah, look, I'm, I was late because I had to close the bar, and I don't ever close the bar, but I closed it, okay? So if you wanna live, tell me where they went to.
MAN/WOMAN: Never.

Man/Woman walks away.

int. Mouse's house. Mouse and skillet are playing F-Off. Mouse stops.

MOUSE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Skillet, down, down, Skillet. Stop. Everybody stop. When I go like this: (plays a riff), that's when you hit the cymbal.

Skillet plays a drum fill.

MOUSE: No, man. You're still doin' it wrong.

Skillet screeches.

MOUSE: What'd you, um... what'd you do with the cymbals?

There is a knock at the door.  Mouse opens it to reveal a television.  Skillet screeches as he is hit with the door.

MOUSE: Come in.

Zoom in on TV.  Cut to a table where the TV has been placed. Mouse turns it on.

SHARK (On the TV): Welcome to the shark show. Um, tonight is gonna be really fun, 'cause we have, uh, Pronto here. And here's Pronto. Anyway, Pronto, to my left, lives in a condo down off Quiver. He's into, uh, archery. Archery, mouse. You hear that? Pronto's into archery. He's the best. He's an archerist, Mouse. An archerist.

TV cuts to static.

MOUSE: That's a good show.

Skillet screeches.

MOUSE: Oh. You're right. It's not a good show at all.

Skillet screeches.

MOUSE: I know, um, I'm hungry too, but there's only a hand and a cold phone in the icebox.

int. Diner, looking out window.  Mouse and Skillet engage in a gunfight with unknown enemies.  Camera pulls back to show inside of diner, where Peanut is standing.

PEANUT: Everybody, don't move. St- stop moving around so much. Around. Now, gimme the cash! Come- come on, guys! I'm, I'm totally s-, I'm totally serious.

Camera shows gunfight continuing, then pulls back inside.

PEANUT: I'm not foolin'. (laughs) F-f-f-f-foolin'! Around. Give it to me! Gimme the cash. Oh, god!  The Leppard rocks. Right? F-foolin'. (sighs) I'm starving!

Camera shows gunfight continuing, then pulls back inside.

PEANUT: I'm gonna count (laughs) to like three, okay, and everybody who can gimme the cash (laughs), they better give it to me. All right? Like, now. Everybody. (laughs and coughs) Okay. Gimme the cash! (laughs) Gimme some fries.

Camera shows gunfight continuing, then pulls back inside.

PEANUT: Is it, is it kinda hot in here? (laughs)

Camera shows gunfight continuing, then pulls back inside.

PEANUT: Everybody? Where'd ya go? Gimme some fries. (laughs) You better gimme the cash, right, 'cause then, I'll have the cash, okay, and then people, they come up to me, and they, and, I'll say, they'll say... (laughs) Hold on, hold on. Let me start over. Let me start over. People might come up to me, and they, and say, can I have some cash, or some money? And I'll say, no way dude!

Peanut fires his gun and falls over backwards.

PEANUT: Awesome. When did that happen?

Mouse and Skillet enter.

MOUSE: Who was that... person we were fighting?

Skillet screeches.

MOUSE: I don't know either.

Skillet screeches.

MOUSE: Where is everyone? And why?

Skillet screeches at Peanut.

MOUSE: He, uh... he doesn't count, man.

Annoying Woman enters.

ANNOYING WOMAN: Officer, you can't sleep here. Officer? Officer, you can't sleep here, officer.
MOUSE: Stop.
ANNOYING WOMAN: You can't sleep here, officer.
MOUSE: Stop.
ANNOYING WOMAN: You can't sleep here.
MOUSE: Stop.
ANNOYING WOMAN: Officer-
MOUSE: Stop it.
ANNOYING WOMAN: You can't sleep here.
MOUSE: Stop it.
ANNOYING WOMAN: Officer-
MOUSE: Stop it. Stop it.
ANNOYING WOMAN: Officer, you can't sleep here.
MOUSE: Who are you?
ANNOYING WOMAN: I don't have to tell you who I am. You don't ask me who I am, you don't know me, you don't need to know who I am, you don't know who I am, you don't ask me who I am, you don't know me, you don't need to know who I am, you don't know who I am.
MOUSe: I know. No one knows who you are. Congratulations.
ANNOYING WOMAN: I don't have to say thank you to you. I said, I don't have to say thank you to you. I don't have to say thank you to you. I said, I don't have to say thank you to you. I don't have to say thank you to you.

The other three point their guns at Annoying Woman.

ext. Diner.  Through the window, we see Peanut, Mouse and Skillet fire their guns.

int. liquor store. Man/Woman enters.

LIQUOR: Oh, it's you.
MAN/WOMAN: No one will play catch with me.
LIQUOR: Good!
MAN/WOMAN: My job at the diner is not workin' out.  I would rather play catch all day than work at that diner with the food.
LIQUOR: I have an idea, and it's a good one.
MAN/WOMAN: Tell me.
LIQUOR: Go outside, stand in the road, every time you see a car, flip it off.
MAN/WOMAN: What will that do?
LIQUOR: It'll be neat.

int. Shark's office. A crowd of people are there wearing helmets.

SQUARE: I hope you know how very lucky you are to know me, since I'm so incredibly incredible.
SHARK: Yeah. I am.
SQUARE: I heard that your greeny friend had a hankerin' for circus dogs.
SHARK: I know.
SQUARE: And that new guy got himself a prize. That's what I heard.
SHARK: You are so... talk so much.
SQUARE: Well I'm just stating the obvious, which makes me one hundred percent right during all conversation.
SHARK: Yeah, so uh, you sure this'll work?
SQUARE: Has it ever not succeeded? Notice how I didn't use the F word because that word is to be not found in my vocab.

The Clock moves closer to Square.

SQUARE: Keep that thing away, or I won't do this.
SHARK: Do it.
SQUARE: Do it, please. Okay, you win. Miglo lamafla verniminin.

The helmets glow purple.

SQUARE: It is done. I did it.
SHARK: Get out.
Square begins to leave.
SQUARE: I will bill you.
SHARK: All the way out.
SQUARE: In a huge way.
SHARK: Yeah, keep goin'. Keep goin'.

Square stops by the door.

SHARK: Just, no, just keep goin', 'til i stop saying keep going.

ext. Shark's office.  Square is moving down the street.

SHARK: (from inside) Keep going. Keep going.

int. Shark's office.

SHARK: Can you even still hear me? Good.

ext. Street. Man/Woman stands holding up her middle finger. Mouse and Skillet drive by upside-down.

int. Taxi.

MOUSE: What the?

ext. Street. Mouse backs up to Man/Woman.

MOUSE: What's up with your problem?
MAN/WOMAN: Sea cells run dry over the sea cell.
MOUSE: The what?
MAN/WOMAN: Sea cells run dry over the sea cell.
MOUSE: Um...
MAN/WOMAN: Sea cells run dry over-
MOUSE: Stop. Get in.

int. Rhoda's.  The taxi enters with Mouse, Skillet and Man/Woman.

MOUSE: No way.

Skillet screeches.

Camera reveals Rhoda lying on the bar, twitching and full of arrows.