Penis-gun

>Be criminal scum
>Watch some random fucktard walk down an alley
>Here's your chance
>Pull a knife from your pocket, follow ass-hat down the alley
>Creep up behind him, place the tip of the knife against his spine
"Just give me your wallet, and we'll all leave alive."
>Fuck nut slowly reaches down, presumably to grab his wallet
>Holy shit, he's gonna pay up!
>Dip shit suddenly turns around, putting a gun in your face
>Hold on, the end of the barrel...
>Jesus H. Christ, it's shaped like a penis
>Shit head stares at you like a stone-cold motherfucker
>He's pushing the barrel on your lips
>Oh fuck no
>The penis-gun enters your mouth, the cold steel sliding over your tongue
>Fucker's still staring you dead in the eye
>Reaches up and brushes the hair from your eyes
>"Stay golden, Pony Boy."
>Lowers the gun and leaves the alley
>Stand there for 5 minutes until you realize you have a boner
>Go home and rethink your life.