Imitation Corpus

Narrator: Ah, the Corpus Krab. Home of the Krabby Patty, with its top secret formula, known only to those who are brave enough and intelligent enough to comprehend its culinary complexity. [Zora is balancing a spatula on her nose behind the register]
Zora: Look, Nef Anyo. I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
Nef Anyo: Quit fooling around, Zora, we got customers.
Narrator: But wherever there's a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. [Tyl Regor laughs evilly while standing in the head of a robot Corpus. The head falls down]
Tyl Regor: Ouch! [robot's arm turns into a mirror] And now for the final touch. [puts on a mustache] Perfect! With this disguise, that formula is as good as mine. [laughs then wheels himself into the restaurant]
Corpus Robot: Are you Zora TennoPants? [Zora looks in a mirror]
Zora: Why, yes. Yes I am. [the fish robot holds up a big check]
Corpus Robot: Then you've just won one million dollars! [Zora gasps] You just have to answer one question. What is the Krabby Patty secret formula? [Zora inhales] Yes? [Zora inhales more]Yes? [Zora inhales even more] Yes?!
Zora: [speaking rapidly fast] The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Corpus Krab and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with its creator, Nef Anyo. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary. [Zora smiles, the mustache falls off the robot, shakes, then Tyl Regor crashes through the teeth]
Tyl Regor: [growls] That's it?! [jumps on Zora's nose and holds her eyelids] You'd better cough up that secret formula or else!
Nef Anyo: Tyl!
Tyl Regor: [Looks at Nef Anyo] Neffy!
Nef Anyo: Tyl!
Tyl Regor: Neffy!
Zora: Zora. [Nef Anyo grabs Tyl Regor and a straw, then puts Tyl Regor in the straw]
Tyl Regor: You can't do this to me, Neffy! [Nef Anyo blows Tyl Regor back to the Chum Bucket] I went to college! [Tyl Regor crashes into his restaurant] Ouch.
Nef Anyo: That Tyl Regor is a clever beast. You've got to keep a sharp eye out for him, Zora. The Krabby Patty law must be enforced. The future of the Corpus Krab depends on it.
Zora: Don't worry, Nef Anyo, as long as these pants are long, [grabs hersel] and this Zor is uh, [lifts her arms up] I will not let you down!
Nef Anyo: Uh, Zora? [camera zooms out to reveal Zora holding Nef Anyo above her head] Could you let me down? [cut to later, at the Corpus Krab]
Corpus Goon: Man, these patties sure are delicious. I wonder what's in that secret formula. [siren goes off. Zora slides down the pole from the crow's nest]
Zora: Code twelve, code twelve! [Zora bounces off a trampoline and grabs the customer's head]Your disguises can't fool me this time, Tyl Regor! [pulls the head off to reveal a smaller head on the customer; everyone gasps]
Corpus Goon: Everyone at the head enhancement clinic said nobody would notice! [runs off crying]
Nef Anyo: Zora! You're scaring away me money!
Zora: Sorry, Nef Anyo, I was just trying to protect the secret formula.
Nef Anyo: That's no reason to rip other people's heads off, girl. Just remember the most important rule.
Zora: No free napkins?
Nef Anyo: No! the other most important rule. Regarding the secret formula.
Zora: Only discuss the formula with Nef Anyo.
Nef Anyo: As long as you do that, the secret is safe.
Alad V: I always thought the most important rule was "why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?" [laughs]
Nef Anyo: What is today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Alad V: Huh? [cut to Nef Anyo and Alad V in a storage room]
Nef Anyo: Today, I want you to take inventory on everything in here; every last pickle and patty must be accounted for.
Alad V: Aye aye, captain. [Nef Anyo leaves. When Alad V walks over to the stock, glowing eyes appear; Alad V writes something on a notepad] Two boxes of buns. Three pounds of patties.
Imitation Neffy: [mechanical voice] Mr. Alad V...
Alad V: What now, Nef Anyo?
Imitation Neffy: That's right, I am Neffy.
Tyl Regor: Your boss, your ruler, your master! [laughs evilly]
Imitation Neffy: Ha, ha, ha. [exhaust smoke spurts out]
Alad V: You're not Nef Anyo.
Imitation Neffy: Hey, why don't you take the rest of the day off?
Alad V: [chuckles and runs to the door] Well... whatever you say, "Nef Anyo." [laughs] Whoopee! [runs out as Zora walks in]
Zora: Hi, Nef Anyo.
Tyl Regor: Oh, sweet domination. This is it!
Zora: No sign of Tyl Regor, yet. Gosh, Nef Anyo. You don't look so good. [touches his body] Ooh, you're so cold. [knocks on his pants]
Imitation Neffy: That's just my metal suit. I made it to protect the formula.
Nef Anyo: Zora! Zora! [second "Zora!" echos]
Tyl Regor: It's that thick-headed Neffy. He'll ruin everything.
Imitation Neffy: Look, a jellyfish. [Zora takes out her net and runs around]
Zora: I got it, I got it.[Tyl Regor presses the "Abort" button. When he does, Imitation Neffy shrinks into a toaster] I got it, I got it [Nef Anyo enters]
Nef Anyo: Zora! [Zora stops and looks at the toaster, which releases its toast, then looks at Nef Anyo]
Zora: [knocks on Nef Anyo' pants] Hey, Nef Anyo, what happened to your metal pants?
Nef Anyo: Don't get all loopy on me, girl. I need your help. And where in the high seas is Alad V?
Zora: You gave him the day off.
Nef Anyo: [pupils shrink] Day... [bellows] ...oooooooooff?! [Nef Anyo is so mad that he makes steam come out of the chimney] I don't know the meaning of them horrible words! [Zora falls down] Now quit your laying around, Zora, and take out that garbage! It's starting to give me a rash. [exits]
Zora: Yes, sir, Nef Anyo, sir! [puts a clothespin on his nose and is going to take the trash out, but Imitation Neffy stops him] Hey, Nef Anyo, just taking out that garbage.
Imitation Neffy: Never mind that. I need to talk to you. [takes the trash bag and vaporizes it with his laser eyes]
Zora: Whoa-ho, Nef Anyo. I didn't know you had heat vision.
Imitation Neffy: Never mind. I need you to tell me...
Nef Anyo: Zora!
Imitation Neffy: Yoinks! [runs off]
Nef Anyo: Zora, I'm not paying you to stand around. [gives her a spatula] Get back to the kitchen!
Zora: But I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
Nef Anyo: Yes... why aren't you working harder?
Zora: [slowly] I don't know, Nef Anyo... I don't know. [both walk out]
Tyl Regor: I'll never get that formula with that pest Neffy popping in and out like that. I've got it! I've been saving this for a rainy day. [holds up a penny] It looks like an ordinary penny... because it is an ordinary penny. That fool Neffy is too greedy to ignore you, my little pretty. [laughs evilly. The penny pops out of the nose and rolls around into Nef Anyo' office]
Nef Anyo: That sound, it sounds like... the pitter-patter of... [sees the penny] money! [squeals] Hey, where you going, beautiful? [Zora knocks on Nef Anyo' door]
Zora: Nef Anyo... [the penny slides out of the office] Wha... [Nef Anyo busts down the door on top of Zora]
Nef Anyo: Stop! Please! [the penny slides between the crack of the doors and rolls away with Nef Anyo running after it] Wait! [Robot Neffy is hiding behind the sign pole]
Imitation Neffy: Nothing stands between me and that secret formula now. [snaps off some of the Corpus Krab sign pole. As he laughs evilly, the sign falls on top of him] Ouch! [cut to Zora, who is scrubbing the floor]
Zora: Scrub-a-dub-dub, I love to rub. [Robot Nef Anyo rolls by] Hey, Nef Anyo, just doing a little scrubbin'.
Imitation Neffy: Hello, Zora, it is me, Nef Anyo. [exhaust pipe smokes] In the flesh. [exhaust pipe smokes again] Standing right in front of you. [pipe smokes again] With no one else around.
Zora: I can see that, Nef Anyo.
Imitation Neffy: I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula. [a microphone comes out of Imitation Neffy]
Zora: Isn't that a microphone?
Imitation Neffy: What? Why, yes it is. [puts microphone back inside his body] I must get this shirt cleaned. Alright, now tell me the secret formula.
Zora: But, sir, we haven't done the secret handshake yet.
Imitation Neffy: Oh yes. Here, let's shake.
Zora: [laughs] We don't shake with our hands, remember?
Imitation Neffy: Uh, right, why don't you start?
Zora: We stand on one foot. [they do] Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads and sing the Origin System National Anthem. [they do]
Music: "Origin System National Anthem"
Oh, Origin System, we pledge our hearts to you, As faithful, as deep, as true, as blue, Origin System, we love you!
Imitation Neffy: Formula time?
Zora: Almost.
Narrator: Six and a half hours later... [Tyl Regor grunts frantically as he gets Robot Neffy into a cannon which spits him out, through a flame ring, and onto a chair at a table. He opens up the robot's belt buckle and dumps some spaghetti in there]
Imitation Neffy: Yum yum, this spaghetti sure is good. Belch!
Music: "The Spaghetti Song"
Meatball. Meatball. Spaghetti underneath. Ravioli. Ravioli. Great Barrier Reef. [They clap]
Imitation Neffy: Okay, now let's hear that formula.
Zora: Sorry, [takes off his chef mustache] no can do, Nef Anyo. [Robot Neffy' eyes are on fire]
Imitation Neffy: Whaaaaaaaaaat?!
Tyl Regor: [exploding in rage] But we did everything you said-- I followed all the rules! I even ate 105 black licorice jellybeans through a straw!
Imitation Neffy: Now why can't you tell me the formula?
Zora: It's your rule. Never speak the formula. You told me to keep it in...this bottle. [holds up a bottle with a piece of paper in it]
Tyl Regor: [Imitation Neffy opens its eyes, Tyl Regor is overly excited and tense] This is it, Tyl Regor. Gently, now... [pushes on a lever that makes Robot Neffy' arm stretch out more. A penny rolls through the door and Nef Anyo comes in. Everyone gasps, including the guy on the penny]
Nef Anyo: [Gasps]
Zora: [Gasps]
Guy on the Penny: [Gasps]
Imitation Neffy: Gasp!
Nef Anyo: How could you do this, Zora? Giving me secret formula to this imposter?!
Imitation Neffy: Don't listen to him, Zora. Remember: Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.
Nef Anyo: Zora, no! Don't listen to him. I'm the real Nef Anyo.
Imitation Neffy: Don't listen to him. He's obviously a robot. [exhaust pipe smokes]
Nef Anyo: Well, if I was a robot, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together. Not some rusted-out, steam-driven piece of junk!
Imitation Neffy: Who are you calling steam-driven...?
Zora: [unable to handle the pressure, explodes in frustration] Quiet! [Zora is holding a giant hose in her hands and her eyes bloodshot] Until I know who the real Nef Anyo is, nobody moves, [it is soon revealed that the hose is attached to a large tartar sauce machine] nobody gets hurt.
Nef Anyo and Imitation Neffy: Tartar sauce?!
Nef Anyo: Take it easy with that thing, girl. [Zora squirts some tartar sauce at Nef Anyo causing him to jump into Imitation Neffy' arms]
Zora: I'll do the talking around here. I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Nef Anyo could answer.
Nef Anyo: Okay, then.
Zora: First question: What time does the Corpus Krab open?
Imitation Neffy: [beats Nef Anyo to it] 9:30 A.M.
Zora: Right. [to Nef Anyo] That's one strike, Mr. Fake.
Nef Anyo: But...
Zora: Nuh-uh-uh! I'm running this quiz show, I'll ask the questions. If there's gonna be any 'buts,' they're gonna be from me. Okay, question number two: How much does a Krabby Patty cost?
Nef Anyo: $2.99!
Zora: On Wednesday...
Imitation Neffy: 99¢!
Zora: Right again! [to Nef Anyo] You're starting to look pretty phony right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. Now only the really real Nef Anyo could answer this — If we're discussing the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?
Nef Anyo: That's an easy one. You just...just... let's see... if its..uh.. if it's January... with...with vanilla pudding...you...uh...pass? [Nef Anyo is shot out of the Corpus Krab with tartar sauce into a fry basket] Wait, Zora! Give me another chance! [Rolls away in the basket] No!
Zora: So long, Imitation Neffy! Buh-bye! [walks back inside] I knew it was you all along, Nef Anyo, here you go. [holds up the formula bottle]
Imitation Neffy: Thank you, ZorDupe. [grabs the bottle and laughs mechanically. Zora sees a penny on the ground]
Zora: Oop! Don't forget your lucky penny. [puts the penny inside a slot on Imitation Neffy that is labeled "Self-Destruct: 1 cent"]
Imitation Neffy: Yoinks.
Zora: This must be your lucky day. [laughs]
Vay Hek: The self-destruct coin slot has been activated. Ten seconds 'til detonation.
Tyl Regor: Coin-operated self-destruct? Not one of my better ideas. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp! [screams as he wheels back to the Chum Bucket, but explodes when he gets inside. The giant hand thuds on top of him] Ouch! [the formula bottle rolls back to Zora]
Zora: [Picks up the formula, realizing his mistake] If that was Tyl Regor... Uh-oh!
Nef Anyo: Help! Get Away! No!
Zora: [gasps] Nef Anyo! [runs to Nef Anyo, who is still in the fry basket using a fry to fight off Hans who has a fork]
Hans: Mmm…yum-yum.
Nef Anyo: Back, you hungry hand, back! Help! [Zora wheels Nef Anyo back to the Corpus Krab safely]
Zora: Gee, Nef Anyo. I'm sorry. I thought you were a phony.
Nef Anyo: Phew, that's okay, me lad. Long as the secret formula's safe again. [takes the bottle] However, that penny's coming out of your paycheck. [both laugh]
Zora: Really?