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- "Let me go!"
- >Screams can be heard coming from inside the castle walls. Ponies outside hear and walk faster in fear of the screams.
- "Let me out! This is against my rights! I am an American!"
- >"Quiet, trespasser! You're not going anywhere till the princess decides what to do with you."
- "Trespasser? You kidnapped me! And what princess?"
- >At the moment, Princess Celestia strides through the doors to her throne room in all her technicolor glory.
- >"I believe they were referring to me. I am Princess Celestia"
- "Princess of what, kidnapping? You release me and maybe I won't put you on the lis- why are you a horse?"
- >"I don't really like that kind of language here, but I'll excuse it. You're just now noticing that we're ponies?"
- "To be honest I was focusing more on figuring out /why/ I was /kidnapped/ instead of by who."
- >"Kidnapped? According to the guards who were trespassing"
- "Well, according to /me/ I woke up here. Now if you don't mind LETTING ME GO, I'll be on my way."
- >"Not yet, human. I don't know how, but you've somehow been transported to Equestria and For the safety of my kingdom, I must discuss how you shall go about residing here till we can transport you back."
- "My /name/ is Dan. This is an outrage! I demand to speak to the king horse!"
- >"Pony, and I'm afraid only I and three other princesses rule this land. I'll send the guards to get you something to eat while I meet with the others"
- >Celestia turns and walks out of the throne room.
- "You come back here you giant, rainbow-haired, person-thief. You here me? Come back!"
- >"So if he's telling the truth, then he's only reacting to the new environment."
- >"Reacting? Thou understates the situation. The commotion was loud enough to wake us from our slumber."
- >"I apologize for that, sister, but we still need to find out what to do with him"
- >"Princess Celestia?"
- >"Yes, my student?"
- >"What did you just call this 'Dan' thing?"
- >"He is a human. They are creatures from a different realm. He has traveled a long way from home, and we should do our best to make him feel at home here until he is able to return."
- >"But how do you know all of this?"
- >"That is a conversation for another day, my faithful student. I propose that he stay with you, Twilight. As the princess of friendship, I hope that you ensure that he befriends the other ponies and is able to stay in our realm without too much trouble"
- >"You can count on me, Princess Celsti-"
- >"Stop! Somebody stop him"
- >The princesses stop to look in the direction of the commotion
- >"Catch him, quick!"
- >The doors burst open, revealing an angry Dan in the middle, arms stretched out forward.
- "YOU!"
- >Dan leaps at Celestia, only to be stopped mid-air by Twilight's magic.
- >"Hello, Dan. It's nice of you to pop in"
- "Well you certainly made it hard by /trapping me/ in a /steel cage/!"
- >"Princess Celestia!? How can you just sit there!?"
- >"Calm down, Twilight. Dan is just scared."
- "SCARED!? You kidnapped me!"
- >"No, Dan, we did not. Apparently you were transported here. While we do not know how you got here, I ensure you that we will do out best to accommodate you here in our kingdom until we can find a way to send you back"
- "Likely story!"
- >"We are telling the truth. I apologize for enclosing you inside that cage, but I must be cautious in order to protect my kingdom"
- "Likely story, Rainbow mane. I'm watching you"
- >"Noted. You shall be staying with Twilight in her castle for as long as you're here"
- "Which one of these hor-"
- >Celestia shoots Dan a glare with all the intensity of the sun"
- "Umm, which one of these /ponies/ is Twilight?"
- >"That would be me."
- >Twilight lowers Dan to the ground
- "Okay, but if I find out something's wrong, you're all going on the list"
- >"Very well. By the way, how did you get out of the cage?"
- "If you think I can't chew my way through steel bars, you have a lot to learn about me"
- >"...And here's where you'll by staying. Any questions?"
- "Yes, I'm hungry. Where's the BurgerPhile?"
- >"For the last time, Dan, we don't have a 'Burgerphile."
- "No Burgerphile!? What is this world coming to?"
- >"We can stop by the Hay Burger if you're really that hungry"
- "HAY!?"
- >"Hello!"
- "Not funny. I don't eat hay. What do I look like, a horse?
- >"Pony."
- "Pony?"
- >"Pony. I'm sure we can find something for you to eat somewhere in town"
- "Thank you! You can keep the /hay/ to yourself."
- >I am pretty hungry. Going into town will also help you get to know the other ponies"
- "Finally! Lead the way, Nightlight"
- >"It's Twilight"
- "Okay, Purple, Smart. Lead the way"
- >"Ugh"
- >Ignoring the constant staring by the other ponies, they eventually made it to the Hay Burger
- "You sure know how to put it down, Brightlight"
- >"Twilight."
- "Whatever"
- >"How's the food?"
- "I hate it. Why did I have to get salad? Where's the meat?"
- "We're herbivores, Dan. We don't eat meat."
- "No meat! That's it, where's the closest cow farm?"
- >"Dan, you're not going to kill any cows"
- "As far as you know" Dan mumbles
- >"What?"
- "Nothing."
- >"Oookay. We should head back to the castle. It's time you met my friends"
- "Lead on, Twilight,"
- >"You got it right!"
- "Whatever Spyflight"
- >"Ughhh!"
- "I swear I will burn it to the ground! I am /very/ good at starting fires"
- >"Dan, enough!"
- "What kind of burger place doesn't serve meat?"
- >"The kind who's customers don't eat it"
- "I- touche, Miss Sparkle, but this isn't over"
- >"We're here, so can you please be quiet!"
- >Dan and Twilight enter the castle to face the rest of Twilight's friends sitting around the table of FRIENDSHIP
- >"Twilight!"
- >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7iv09RirHU
- >"Hi girls!"
- >"Uh, you okay there Twilight?"
- >"I'm just fine, Applejack! It's not like I had to spend all day listening to complaint after complaint after-"
- "Actually, you tuned out for most of it. You're listening skills are really bad"
- >"AARGH!"
- >"Twilight, who is, er, /what/ is that?"
- >Twilight sighs as she regains her composure.
- >"Girls, this is Dan. He just popped into Celestia's castle and now we have to take care of him till we can send him home."
- >"Well howdy, Dan. I'm Applejack"
- "So, What are you, a cowboy"
- >"Aw shucks, no. I help run the farm over at Sweet Apple Acres. Best dang apples in Equestria."
- "Ugh! I hate apples. Call me when you grow oranges"
- >pic
- >"Don't mind Applejack. Apples are just her thing. I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Ponyville"
- "Dan. Nice to meet you Skittles"
- >"Uh, what?"
- "Nevermind, who else is here?"
- >"That would be me, darling. I'm Rarity"
- >Rarity looks over Dan's outfit
- >"Well, your attire seems to have quite the, um, character. I assume you'll be needing more outfits while you're here however, and I'd be happy to design some-"
- "No thanks"
- >"No? Surely you can't be thinking about wearing the same outfit everyday."
- "Why not? I do at home. I am supposed to feel at home here, right?"
- >"Why o-of course. Well, if you ever change your mind, I'll have Twilight direct you to my boutique"
- "Noted. Who's that?"
- >"Oh, that's Fluttershy. Fluttershy, dear, say hello"
- >Trembling, Fluttershy peaks out from the chair
- >"Oh..Hi, I'm Fluttershy"
- "Butterwhy?"
- >"No...Flutershy"
- "Okay. I know who's getting a megaphone for Christmas"
- >"What's a Chirstmas?"
- "You guys don't have Chirstmas!?"
- >"Eeep!"
- >Fluttershy dashes back behind a chair while Twilight shakes her head
- >"Don't mind Fluttershy, she's just, shy. Last but not least, you'll need to meet-"
- >"Hi Dan!"
- "YOU!"
- >"Me! Nice to see you again, Danny!"
- "Don't you /dare/ call me Danny!"
- >"Wait, you two know each other?"
- >"Of course we do, Twilight! I helped Danny redecorate his car"
- "You bedazzled my car! Without my permission!"
- >"I thought you'd like a new look! You're car looked sad"
- >"Pinkie, what's a car? Nevermind that, how do you know Dan?"
- >"I told you, silly! We-"
- >"I mean, he lives in another realm, how did you-"
- "You're going to pay!"
- >"Pay? If you need bits, ~you're gonna have to say please~"
- "Aaargh! I've had enough of you! I'm leaving!"
- >Dan exits but is stopped by Twilight
- >"Dan, wait!"
- "Why should I?"
- >"I know you don't like a lot of things, but can you try to make some friends"
- "Why should I? I don't know how long I'll be here, there's no meat, everyone keeps staring at me, and I miss Mr. Mumbles"
- >"Who's Mr. Mumbles?"
- "Nevermind that. I refuse to make friends"
- >"You're gonna want to sooner or later. Everyone needs friends, even if they might have a bit of an attitude problem"
- "Sure, Elise"
- >"Who's Elise?"
- "What is with all the questions!? Forget it, I'm going to my room"
- >Dan walks into his room only to be started by the sound of Pinkie's confetti cannons
- "What is the meaning of this!?"
- >"I thought it's be best to get a head start on your 'Welcome to Equestria' party, so welcome to Equestria!"
- "Get out of my room!"
- >"Okie Dokie Lokie! See you later!"
- >Pinkie Pie hops out of the room
- "Stupid Pink horse with her confetti cannons. Stupid no meat serving technicolor horse land. Oh we're not horses, we're ponies! Like there's a difference- AHH!"
- >Dan falls to the ground, covering his ears as Pinkie Pie enters the room
- >"Oopsie!I forget I left an extra cannon in the closest. Catch you later, Danny"
- "Ahh! That is it!"
- >Dan raises his arms into the air
- "EQUESTRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
- "Chris!"
- >Twilight rubs her face with her hoof
- >"For the last time, Dan, there's no one named Chris here."
- "Oh, so you can kidnap me, but not my sidekick?"
- >"No one kidnapped you! You were transported!"
- "How long are you going to keep up this cruel charade?"
- >"It's not a charade!"
- "You know, your anger issues are really unbecoming, New Elise"
- >"Dan, I'm going to say this to one last time. Chris isn't here, neither is this so-called Mr.Mumbles, and I am /not/ Elise!"
- "Of course you're not Elise. I said /new/ Elise. Well, technically you're New Junior"
- >"Don't call me Junior"
- "See? Now you're getting into it. Now, where's the nearest blacksmith?"
- >"Why do you need a blacksmith?"
- "To make me a sword and armor"
- >"But why-"
- "To take down Princess Crayola. Try to keep up"
- >"Why in Equestria would you want to do that!?"
- "Because I've been wronged! Celestia is at the top of my list and she's gonna pay!"
- >"Because we don't serve meat? You don't think that's overdoing it a little?"
- "It's not about the meat, It's the principle.This 'kingdom' is discriminatory against carnivores, and humans, and some third thing. Plus they just let that /pink/ menace prance around ruining people's cars!"
- >"I'm pretty sure Pinkie Pie didn't mean anything by-"
- "And then she tried to kill me! Do you know what I found in my glove compartment?"
- >"*sigh* No, Dan. What did she find-"
- "Cookies!"
- >"How does making cookies imply-"
- "Made. With. Milk."
- >"...Okay. Still not seeing the problem here"
- "I can't eat dairy. I could've /died/!"
- >"I'm sure she didn't know. You're overreacting, and you're not going to 'take down' Princess Celestia"
- "Watch me"
- >Dan strides out the door with Twilight following after him, stopping at the door.
- >"I'm not helping you!"
- "Then I'll find someone who can"
- >The door slams
- >"Now now, Angel. You'll get your food after I finish feeding the birds."
- >Angel's foot thumps impatiently as he watches Fluttershy tend to her animals.
- >"It'll only be a moment. Now, where did I put that birdsee-"
- "Yah!"
- >"Eeep!"
- >Dan crashes through Fluttershy's cottage, head first.
- "How well do you know the Princess?"
- >Fluttershy peaks her head out from where she was hiding
- >"Oh...uh, hi Dan"
- "How well do you know the princess?"
- >"Oh, Twilight? We've best friends. Unless the others are her best friends and I'm just a regular friend. I mean, they aren't afraid of much so they can do a lot more"
- "Not the purple one, the rainbow one."
- >"Oh, Princess Celestia? I'm not as close to her as Twilight is, but I know about her."
- "How much?"
- >"Better than most, I suppose. I mean, we do help her with saving Equestria. And we hang out every year at the gala"
- "Good, now how do I hurt her?"
- >"*gasp* Why would you want to do such a thing?"
- "I don't have time for explanations!"
- >Fluttershy sinks back behind the her couch
- "Look, It's not like I'm going to kill her. I just want to get back at her"
- >"You mean like a prank?"
- "Yeah, a prank."
- >"I don't think I can be much help with that, but I do know who's good at pranks."
- "Good, so you're not useless. Let's go, Chris!"
- >"Um, where are we going?"
- "To see the prank master you're talking about"
- >"Oh, okay, but my name's not-"
- "Don't care, let's go"
- >And with that, Dan dashes out the cottage carrying Yellow Quiet in his arms
- "Are you sure this is the place?"
- >"Oh, yes"
- "Then let's go!"
- >Dan bursts through the doors of Sugarcube Corner
- "Okay, prank master. Teach my how to hur-, uh, prank the princess!"
- >"Why would you wanna do that, Danny?"
- "Oh no."
- >"Are you two having some kind of prank battle? *gasps* Can I help!?"
- "What are /you/ doing here?"
- >"I work here, silly? What are you here? Did you come for a cupcake?"
- "No, I didn't come here for your dairy filled poison! I came here to see the prank master."
- >"That's me! What do you need?"
- "You're the prank master?"
- >"Yessiree!"
- "You, know? I don't know why I didn't see that coming."
- >"I know, right? Even after I bedazzled your car as a prank-"
- "What!?"
- >"Bedazzled you car because I thought it needed a makeover"
- "That was a prank!? Do you know how much of Chris' money I had to spend to repair that"
- >"Um, I didn't give you any money"
- "Quiet, Chris"
- >"Who's Chris? That's Fluttershy. Did you bump your noggin, Danny?"
- "Stop calling me Danny! Are you going to help me prank your sun goddess or not?"
- >"Well, I'm always up for a prank, but the Cakes are out, so I have to watch the shop until they come back"
- "Great! Just my luck"
- >"Rainbow Dash might be able to help you out. She loves pranks"
- "The pride pony?"
- >"No, Danny. Rainbow Dash is the element of loyalty"
- "(mumbling) Her mate must be a very lucky mare"
- >"What was that?"
- "Nothing. Let's go, New Chris."
- >"Oh, you're taking me?"
- "You have knowledge, so let's go"
- >"ok"
- >And so began Dan's short search for Ponyville's fastest lesbian as they later found her resting on a cloud
- >"You want me to do what?"
- "I want you to help me prank your ruler"
- >"Okay"
- "I don't /have/ to explai--really?"
- >"Yeah, pranks are awesome, so of course you came to me. I'm the awesomest prankster pony ever!"
- >"Actually, Rainbow Dash, we came cause Pinkie Pie was busy."
- >"Pinkie!? She's cool and all, but we all know that you need someone as cool as me in order to prank the princess!"
- "Yeah, sure, whatever. So you'll help us!"
- >"You got it!"
- "Great, now I'll need 20 pounds of dynamite, some weasels, a machete and a toothpick"
- >"Woah, woah, woah. You can't just go blasting through everything like that, though that does sound awesome! Maybe we could try something more subtle"
- >"I never knew you were subtle, Dash."
- >"I can be subtle!"
- "Blowing up stuff is more fun!"
- >"Yeah, you're right, let's do that instead!"
- >"Um, guys?"
- >"What?"
- "What?"
- >"Wouldn't blowing up things with dynamite get us sent to the...moon?"
- "The moon?"
- >"Oh yeah. We can't do anything /too/ destructive. Celestia sends criminals to the moon"
- "She kills anyone who commits a crime!? What kind of mad tyrant is she!?"
- >"No, no. Only the really bad ponies get sent to the moon"
- "So she kills them."
- >"Nope. Apparently we can breathe in space"
- "Breathe"
- >"Yep"
- "In space?"
- >"That's right"
- "Well, I've officially heard and seen everything. I propose we use subtlety to take down the tyrant"
- >"Hey! That was my idea!"
- "No need to thank me. Now, who's got ideas, besides me?"
- >"Well, hotshot. If you're looking for an /awesome/ plan..."
- >It Begins
- >Dan bursts through door.jpg
- "Pinkie!"
- >"Hey Danny! Do you always break down people's doors"
- "Only on weekdays. I need all your cupcakes"
- >"All of them!?"
- "Did you not hear me?"
- >"But why would you need all the cupcakes?"
- "We're gonna throw Celestia a little party"
- >"A party!? Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh!"
- "Yep, and you're going to help us!"
- >"Well of course I am! I love throwing my friends parties!"
- "Of course you are, and you'd want Celestia to have the best party ever, right?"
- >"That's right!"
- "So give me all your pastries"
- >"Okie doki lokie, but it's gonna cost you"
- "No problem. Chris, pay the mare"
- >"Me? Oh... I don't think I have that many bits"
- "Of course you do. We'll pay you after the party"
- >"Pinkie promise"
- "Yeah, sure."
- >"You have to say the words. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye"
- "I'm not saying that"
- >"But, Danny!"
- "No. Now, let's go plan a party"
- >"Are you sure we did everything on the list, Spike?"
- >"Twilight, this is the fourth time you made me check."
- >"I know, it just feels weird to be done this early. I honestly don't know what to do for the rest of the day"
- >"Why don't you go see your friends?"
- >"Great idea! I'm sure one of them is free right now."
- >"Happy to help. Now can we please get something to eat? Being stuck in the castle all day made me hungry."
- >"Sure, Spike. We'll get something to eat, then we'll go-
- >Twilight opens the castle door only to end up with a face full of pie
- >"Hey Twilight!"
- >"Hey, Pinkie Pie. Why did you just throw a pie in my face?"
- >"It's your invitation, silly!"
- >"Invitation to what?"
- >"To Princess Celestia's party of course!
- >"You're throwing the princess a party? That's so nice of you, Pinkie?"
- >"Don't thank me, it was all Dan's idea."
- >"...Did you just say Dan?"
- >"Yep! He wants to throw Celestia the biggest party ever!"
- >"And you're helping him? Doesn't Dan seem a little off to you?"
- >"Don't be silly, Twilight! Dan's just expressive!"
- >"Yeah, but he said he was going to take down Celestia. I don't think you should trust him."
- >"Why would I not trust my friends?"
- >"You wouldn't, Pinkie. Just, keep an eye on him"
- >"That's unsanitary. So, are you coming to the party?"
- >"I feel like I have to now that I know Dan's planning something"
- >"Great, see you there Twilight!"
- >Pinkie hops away as Twilight watches
- >"What am I getting myself into?"
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