Right where to begin, talk about myself.

Well i haven't had a girlfriend I while now, I don't know what it is but girls tend to walk away from me, and when I try to chase them it usually ends up with me getting maced or the police turning up at my door.

I'm really not that bad a guy, ok I do have a habit of swearing alot, picking my nose, biting my toe nails which you kinda gotta admit is pretty impressive.
I can cross my legs like im meditating and walk on my knees, which means for all you lovely dwarfs out there i can put on kids trousers and tie my shoes to my knees and you can pretend im a dwarf, which opens the dating market alot.

Im quite good at cunnilingus, i just pretend im a subaru impreza engine and brrrr my lips , people have said its like holding a ruler against a table and plucking the end and then putting your tongue on the end.

I know women never truly know what there looking for but heres a few that I can help with

Security - I'll lock you in my shed, and put a mountains worth of bear traps outside, how much more secure can you get.

Trust - Women need someone to trust, you can trust me not to go shopping with you or be social with your friends thinking about it, if they try to talk to me ill punch them

Sense of Humor - This I can't help on.

Im interested in alot of things, I watch alot films, although the majority of the ones I own are of the adult genre, you'd be suprised what kinda different varieties they can come in, oh my days I don't wanna say. But i must of seen every variation of penis and pair of tits out there.

I like music, actually you might of seen me, im the random techno viking, find me on youtube to see my love.

I love books, theres nothing more engrossing then a book, but one thing I don't like is how easily the pages stick together, i like the kindle alot more you can wipe it down when your done.

I like going out with friends, it just a shame they don't like going out with me.

I love making dens around the house with my blankets, and then pretending im like godzilla and smashing up everything, One time i made all my cereal boxes into sky scrapers and smashed them all up, then through a toy plane into the biggest to