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- >You are Anonymous.
- >And you are very confused.
- >There is a female Draconequus hugging you.
- >And calling you Daddy.
- >Everyone has fallen deathly silent and are staring at you and the female Draconequus.
- >And Celestia looks like she is currently going to murder you even harder.
- >And Luna has snapped out of her reverie.
- >And you are twelve thousand years old.
- >And WHAT IS THIS?
- >You were in need of some venting, but this thing just threw you for a loop and wrecked every last bit of your momentum.
- >You gingerly extricate yourself from the grasp of the female draconequus
- “Umm....who are you?”
- >The Draconequus stares at you for a second before laughing.
- >”Silly! I”m Eris, Discord's daughter! And since Discord was the mommy, that makes YOU the daddy!”
- >Wat.
- “Wat.”
- >How was that even.
- >The physics of those implications did not parse.
- “Discord was a MALE Draconequus.”
- >“I know! Isn't that, like, TOTALLY crazy?!”
- >Your head hurt.
- >You don't even have a brain and you have a headache.
- >This should not logically be happening.
- >”Oh, Daddy Daddy! Look!”
- >Against your better judgment, you look.
- >Eris has a huge grin on her face and she snaps her fingers.
- >After Eris snapped her fingers, a tremor rocked the ground, nearly throwing you off your feet.
- >”It followed me home. Can I keep it?”
- >You turn around to see...
- >....
- >Fuck.
- >It's an Ursa Major.
- >And it's HUGE!!!
- >It's at least twice the size of any other Ursa Major you've ever seen.
- >And you've seen some big ones.
- >The claws on this titanic bear had to be at least ten meters long.
- >The Ursa Major lets out a growl that shakes the earth.
- >Oh shit, it might be mad.
- >The Royal Guards start retreating further away from the Ursa.
- >“Oh dear, I think I left my oven on. Gotta go!”
- >And just like that, Eris disappears.
- >Everything falls silent for a moment, like the calm before the storm.
- >It was just like a standoff in one of those old spaghetti westerns, except with ponies and a giant bear.
- >And then, it happens.
- >All hell broke loose.
- >The Ursa Major jumped over the bulkhead, Luna, and yourself and charges into the Royal Guard.
- >Celestia charged at you with the fury of Hell itself.
- >You forced your guests and your duplicates back down the access tunnel and forced the bulkhead closed and locked.
- >Luna threw up a barrier around you and her.
- >And the Royal Guard opened fire on anything that moved that wasn't gold colored.
- >It was pure chaos.
- >Celestia was trying to beat down the barrier you and Luna were now holding up.
- >The Ursa Major was trying to flatten anything that wasn't itself.
- >Ten Thousand Royal Guardspony were launching well coordinated assaults on the Ursa and successfully keeping the behemoth occupied.
- >The barrier began to deteriorate under Celestia's furious pummeling.
- >Through the translcent blue shield, Celestia looked as if she were possessed by a spirit of hatred.
- >Her mane was in disarray, flying every which way as she thrashed your barrier.
- >Her once calm and serene amethyst eyes were bloodshot and angry.
- >Spittle flew freely from her curse spewing muzzle as she swore eternal suffering and hatred against you.
- >Every ounce of her anger was directed at only one thing right now.
- >You.
- >The look on her visage and the savagery of her attacks were almost enough to make you afraid.
- >Luna was beginning to quail with fear just from the look Celestia was giving you.
- >Her fear was causing the barrier to weaken.
- >You had to pick up Luna's slack in taking the brunt of Celestia's beating until Luna collapsed in terror.
- >Which left you to hold the barrier by yourself.
- >Wait a sec...
- >Why are YOU being on the defensive?!
- >You are a GOD DAMN LICH!!!
- >It's about time you started acting like one!
- >This is not good.
- >The original was in trouble!
- >There was a raging Demigoddess, a bear titan, and an army outside the front door!
- >You had to do something.
- >You untangled yourself from the pile of ten other yous and the two guests.
- >You helped everyone else untangle themselves and made sure everyone was fine.
- >Thankfully, the guests were uninjured.
- >They were just panicked.
- >Which is to be expected.
- >You assured them that everything would be fine.
- >The original could handle this.
- >...you hope.
- >The bulkhead was closed and locked so there was no way to get out fast enough to help the original and be of any use.
- >...
- >Not unless you used something from the Hangar.
- >You quickly ushered everyone back to the Control Room while you called up an inventory of all the aircrafts in the Hangar on your tablet.
- >Shit, there wasn't anything fast enough with enough power to reach them quickly enough.
- >You keep cycling through the list of plains until you find something that catches your interest.
- >It was listed as an AC-5S.
- >It's description says it was an experimental stealth support retrofit of a cargo aircraft.
- >Top speed of five hundred and fifty miles per hour.
- >Well, it's plenty fast enough.
- >What did the armaments look like?
- >...Woooooooooow.
- >Yep, this thing DEFINITELY had enough firepower.
- >You set the automated systems of the Hangar to start getting the AC-5S ready for launch.
- >While the aircraft was getting ready for launch, you led the ten other yous and the two guests back to the Control Room.
- >Once you reached the Control Room, you left four yous and the two guests there and took six yous to the Hangar.
- >Seven should be enough of a skeleton crew to use that aircraft.
- >As Celestia continues to pound away at your barrier and Luna continues to be a quivering mass of scared, you figure out the best way to end this quickly.
- >The bad news is that your contract stated that killing sentients would terminate your contract, so that option was out.
- >You only had about two or three offensive spells and some variants, so you would have to get creative with everything else.
- >The good news is, you were very creative.
- >It's time to show Celestia why a good defense is the best offense.
- >As Celestia rears back for another blow, you wrap the barrier around Celestia to form a sphere.
- >You try to tighten the barrier down around her, but she's putting up one hell of a fight.
- >Soon, Celestia starts forcing magic against the sphere, making it that much harder to hold together.
- >Blinding white light sears through the translucent barrier as Celestia assaults it with raw power.
- >Soon enough, rays of solar fury punch through the sphere.
- >One of them almost hit you.
- >It burned a hole in your favorite cape though.
- >You knew that the sphere wouldn't hold up to much more abuse, so you willed up another barrier around yourself and Luna again and levitated the sphere away from you.
- >Mere seconds later, the sphere vaporized in a blinding flash of white light.
- >You swear you could almost feel your bones bleaching.
- >Celestia stood before you looking even angrier than before.
- >She pawed a hoof at the ground and lowered her head, wings flared out to her sides.
- >Looks like she was going to charge you.
- >This gave you a devious idea.
- >Looks like you would get to vent after all.
- >Time to start being a proper Lich.
- >You stood your ground and readied a spell while Celestia sprinted towards you.
- >Just as Celestia was about to gore you on her horn, you grab her horn with both hands and let loose a stream of lightning right into her horn.
- >You could see her eyes starting to roll back into her head as she screamed out in pain.
- >She tried to break your grasp, but you were having none of that.
- >Oh no, she was going to ride the lightning.
- >And she wasn't going to like it.
- >You increase the amount of magic into the spell and Celestia screams louder.
- >You could see smoke rising from between your finger bones.
- >Celestia is still trying to struggle, but it is futile.
- >She was beginning to loose consciousness.
- >Roughly a minute later, Celestia finally lost consciousness.
- >Good thing too.
- >You hated screamers.
- >As you gaze over her charred horn and her twitching body, you dust your hands off.
- >Now, it's time to take care of that Ursa Maj-*WHAM*
- >You tumble across the ground and skid to a halt some twenty yards away.
- >Picking yourself back up, you find about a hundred Royal Guard surrounding Celestia.
- >And out in front was Shining Armor.
- >And boy did he look angry.
- >”Any last words before you die, scum?”
- “Nope.”
- >You cast a Chain Lightning spell at the group and watch them all drop to the ground screaming and spasming.
- >Everyone seems to forget that metal armor makes a great conductor.
- >You walk up into the middle of the group and levitate Celestia out of the center.
- >You hear the sound of armor clanking as one of the ponies tries to get back up.
- >It's Shining Armor.
- >He doesn't know when to stay down.
- >As he struggles to stand up between muscles twitching, you walk up and grab him by the horn and hoist him to eye level.
- >He winces from having his horn grabbed but still tries to maintain a brave face.
- >”You haven't won yet you monster. There's still the entire Royal Guard left! You won't win!”
- >You weren't in the mood to chat.
- >You zap him with a lightning spell and let his twitching body fall to the earth.
- >It's fairly amusing to watch Shining Armor twitch around and see his eyes roll back into his head.
- >Ignoring Shining Armor for a minute, you survey the battlefield to see how things are going.
- >The Ursa Major doesn't even look like it's been hurt.
- >The Royal Guard also appears to be wise to the Ursa's ways of fighting.
- >The Unicorns are all focusing on blocking the titan's swats whenever it targets ground forces.
- >The Pegasi are harassing the Ursa with arrows, providing a distraction.
- >The Earth ponies are also firing volley after volley of arrows into the Ursa, doing little good.
- >The Royal Guard has done a stellar job of lasting this long against an Ursa Major, but there is no way for them to defeat the behemoth.
- >You were going to have to transport the raging titan to a deserted island and come back for it in about a week after it cooled down.
- >So, that's exactly what you'll do.
- >You set Celestia down in preparation for what you are about to do.
- >You charge up the necessary energy and set a destination in mind.
- >With that accomplished, you teleport on top of the Ursa Major.
- >A few of the Pegasi Guards are startled by your sudden appearance.
- >They don't have any time to react before you grab hold of the Ursa Major and teleport away.
- >The Royal Guard is left in a state of confusion at the sudden disappearance of the Ursa Major.
- >When you teleport right into the middle of where the Ursa Major used to be, the Royal Guard readies an attack.
- >You cast a spell to amplify your voice a bit and begin speaking.
- “I'm feeling nice right now. You should feel lucky. My issue wasn't with any of you. So here's the deal. Leave or suffer the consequences.”
- >A volley of arrows being launched at you is your answer.
- >You throw up a barrier and listen as the shafts clatter harmlessly against your shield.
- “You brought this on yourselves.”
- >Oh this chaos is delicious.
- >It really is amazing what pulling a few strings can do to a pony's mind.
- >And Anonymous.
- >The horn thing was REALLY a nice touch.
- >You sat back in your theater chair munching on popcorn while watching current events unfold on the silver screen.
- >You are Eris....as far as the readers need to know.
- >And it was nearly time to set another piece of your plan into motion.
- >You want to know the best part of all this business with Anonymous?
- >No one was guarding the castle!
- >You snap your fingers and find yourself in the Royal gardens.
- >Now, where was that pesky Discord statue?
- >You needed that little pawn for something.
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