2026

Another year, another pastebin reflection LOL

As in the years past, I usually take this time at year-end to reflect on everything that happened within the given 365. I think a lot of it last year was a lot of transparency about mental struggles and trying to communicate the core loop. I don't think I'll need to repeat that again here but who knows LOL!

I want to start this off by talking about the stuff that made 2025 notable, at the very least. More than likely great, but when it comes to me and nuance, I don't sugarcoat it either which way. Good thing or bad thing? I dunno.

Firstly, I want to apologize to the DBD community for single-handedly getting Oni's flicks nerfed, as that did happen at the start of the year... No, I won't be explaining how, but I wouldn't lie about this if it wasn't true! At least, I think it's true...?

The middle of this year was DOMINATED by my vacation/attendance to Valorant Masters Toronto. I wasn't there for the entire event, but my experience spending an extended amount of time not only in Toronto but also attending my LONG OVERDUE first Esports event, ever! This one definitely set the bar high and I have nothing but good things to say about it. My bias will always shine through in that we need another Valorant event hosted in Canada, but I think after Masters Toronto I believe we made our case. A lot of this event for me was my signature hunt. Instead of taking selfies with everyone, I opted to fill out a journal with as many signatures as possible. From players & coaches, broadcast talent and other notable figures, I came away with a whopping 63 (or 64?) signatures in the journal. I had a few bespoke items signed as well, but are excluded from that count. I also acquired many more goodies and OF COURSE a few art commissions, but all in all the experience I had in the city and the event is something I cherish greatly. I wanted to make an in-depth post talking about it as a whole, with pictures included, but I just didn't get around to doing so in a timely fashion. Although, a part of me is content with the fact that I didn't overshare about the experience? More so that, even though this was something I wanted to experience alongside the WORLD with, the memories were something I was content with keeping to myself and those I made them with. I'm more than happy to share them if the opportunity arises, but I had no desire to make a spectacle out of it. I very much wanted to and very much could've, but I realized there was more to it than  the engagement farm... I just wanted to live life for what it was!

Once I came back down to reality, I filled out the remainder this year with knocking something else off my bucket list... Getting into commentary/casting! Along with other on-broadcast roles and even some podcast appearances, most of my public online presence was done through this. I've wanted to dip my toes into casting for YEARS now, and I'm glad I finally took that first step into getting those amateur reps in. I know it's something that takes much more work than what's innately visible, but if you get me in a room and talk about a topic I'm passionate about, it's a glorious sight to behold for any form of content or profession. As much as I miss streaming or other forms of content creation, I wanted to try a new avenue for expressing myself online. I think it's something that I'm more keen on pursuing if the opportunity allows it, but it's also been a nice break from simply streaming. Not that I *WANTED* a break, but I think I needed one, given how aimless and pointless it has been as of late. I'm hoping I can feel invigorated in this regard, going into 2026, but for now I've been proud to get this off my personal bucket list.

For non-timeline highlights, I'm incredibly proud of the other creative work I've made public this year. Not only more art commissions of Val and Lana, but creating and establishing new original characters to fill out their world. More especially designing some of these new characters and not simply adopting characters that I finely comb through and select. Designing Kailei as my first wholly-new OC since Val and Lana has been quite the refresher and I'm excited to do more of this in 2026 and beyond!

Going into 2026 itself, I really want to make sure I'm pushing out high quality creative output. It's something I aspire to do every year, but it's my primary aim this time in particular. Whether it's building up the confidence to release some of my writing, investing time and money into the best artwork I can to not only establish further world-building, but also refining what's already here. As much as I want to keep expanding my roster of colorful characters, I also want to take the time to really unify and hone in on Val & Lana's design aspects. The ambition is to seek out someone for concept art-like reference sheets that go incredibly in-depth on them both, but right now it's nothing more than pure desire. Scouting for artists is, admittedly, not my strong suit... Maybe I'm just incredibly picky or I simply prefer the right person for the job. Especially for revamped reference sheets, I think it's more than reasonable to seek out the best and not settle for any less.

A part of me has always wondered if content creation was the end-goal in life. I've been pursuing this dream for pretty much going onto a decade at this point. The truth is, my heart and brain has always been there, but the drive and passion has dwindled immensely. Majority of that decade has been me trying to find that direction, and with more time going by, I'm starting to feel like my creative output is meant for creating my world; my universe. My silly furry stories and accompanying it with great furry art. Not to say that all other forms of content creation are lost to me, but my true authentic self currently lies in what I just outlined. It's something that I can actually take a long time with, rather than needing to chase the immediate thrill and benefits that come with grinding content creation. I appreciate the art of it more, not the short-term benefits. That's the main thing I've realized about myself this year; art and authenticity matter to me more above anything else.

I suppose to touch on my mental growth and how that's changed, honestly I don't have anything immediate and concrete to acknowledge? More so down to not feeling any particular way in this state of reflection. I will confess that, due to the holidays, I've been unmedicated for the first time in over 6+ months. Just really unlucky timing on my part, nothing more LOL! Although, I've been wondering if that also needs a pivot as well? Sure, there were times where I've been really really sad and depressed, but I don't think that was nearly the worst of my issues. More other extreme moods taking hold, which I'd say is better than being depressed but also has the setback of, "Hey, I can blow things up at any moment." It's something I'd rather work on or prevent going forward, but who knows how that may look.

Another point to reflect on is simply how much I've been trying to put myself in more uncomfortable or inept social situations, with the goal of not always triggering my isolationist tendencies. A better way to frame it could be that I want to not immediately remove myself at the first sight of strife or conflict that may or may not just be in my head. It's difficult siphoning through it all when the thoughts in my head are always formed from some basis of truth. Perhaps just creating all the disasterous or "logical" conclusions before anything else can be quite troublesome... Yet at the same time, it proves to be cautious and careful on an innate level. Likely just the trade-off I have to live with, but nonetheless I've been making an amount of progress to not be so socially shut-in. Pretty much more steps continuing from last year, just trying to find my social confidence again has been the main goal this year. It's something that's definitely going to continue into 2026 but with further emphasis on that confidence in being approachable and not some goofy ahh dolt. I just want to be myself while also not being too silly I suppose, but also feel confident that people actually like me? I dunno.

Speaking of people who probably like me, here's the part where I give the personal messages to folks! Just uh, PLEASEEEE don't be offended if I forget anyone or don't mention you here!

Artist friends - Pretty much consisting of Lunwere and Merlin, I know you're both super locked in on what's keeping you busy right now, but I hope life is treating you well and I appreciate you two a ton!

Vansilli - Likely not going to read this, but I want to highlight just how much of a sweetheart you are and I'm extremely grateful for everything you did for me during Masters Toronto!

Friends/Acquaintances from Master Toronto - I may only talk with like, one of you on a consistent basis, but you guys really made Masters Toronto special and I'm glad we all got to share that together! Also shouting out the Plat Chat Members Discord here for stuff we got to do in Toronto but also for the members tourney and beyond! It's been a lot of fun to be part of a community that I can actually talk about and enjoy Valorant with (even if I gotta pay Gurt 5 bucks a month for it)

Roman Jules (Kitty) - I didn't think I'd be talking more with someone that I met up with in not one but TWO gachas by pure chance! Been a lot of fun keeping in touch and keeping eachother locked in on our games!

Blais - We finally got to do some more art stuff together!! And I really wanna do more! Hopefully we can find some time in the future to do this and chat some more!

The three mer-stooges:

Maku - Aside from me being head over heels for Anpaytoo, I'm glad we've been able to intersect our worlds from time to time. A lot of fun doing creatives stuff with other creatives in the space, even if you were the main catalyst and genesis for me dabbling in this niche in the first place! I've spoken about that and more plenty so uh.... When can I see Anpaytoo next? :)

Maya - My favorite clownfish car. I don't have many friends I can nerd and geek out with based on our shared likes, so I've always appreciated that. Thanks for keeping it real <3

Shyr - My birdyyyyy, I love you with all my heart! I know it seems like a complete anomaly that I've gravitated towards you, but I don't think we'd have it any other way. Keep your head held high birb :3

The obligatory rest:

Paul - I'm going to drop an anvil on you and I won't cut the video. Thanks for putting up with me for another year! ...Or is it the other way around? Hmmmmmmm :D

Nomi - Could say the exact same thing as above and it apply the same except you put up with me IRL. I dunno who has it worse out of your two (probably you LOL)

For any brief final thoughts for what I wanna do in 2026 that isn't already mentioned? Uhhhhhh, I wanna put my time into learning some more games so maybe I make my ACTUAL fighting game debut soon and stop being a watching william? Or perhaps something else, who really knows. Hopefully I can also find something I can stream consistently too! Otherwise, stay tuned for what I have in store with my other projects!