[REQUEST] Minion of Lulu - Shipwrecked

As memory serves, I called Minion of Lulu a nigger. So he killed my sister
I cried like a bitch and said that I would write a story as revenge
This is what fell out of my mind.

Special thanks to Minion of Lulu, for causing this catastrophe.
Alex the Narrator for being stellar and providing sweet sweet Octavia
Picklehead for emotional support during my dog's pregnancy
Various Anons for funding and other supportive comments
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>Day Wrecked in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Reluctant party member extraodinaire
>You look out over the vast ocean, looking all stoic n shit
>Mutter to yourself
I feel like I've seen too much of the sea recently.
>First Mate Fluttershy walks up behind you and prods your butt
>Turn around
What now, Fluttershy?
>"Umm. I was just wondering if storms were your fetish?"
What are you-
>Look towards where the ship is heading
>A massive fucking tidal wave made of foam, water and lightning is thundering towards you
In restrospect, I should have seen this coming.
>The tidal wave slams into the ship and everything goes black

>Wake up some time later
>Groan and stand up, rubbing your head
>Try to speak
>A crab crawls out of your mouth and drops to the sand, before clacking it's claws angrily and waddling off towards the sea
Well fuck you too, buddy.
>Look around at the wreckage
>Well you're on a beach. That's one thing
>Driftwood, supplies and ponies are lying everywhere
>Walk over and shake Rainbow Dash, the Captain of the ship and also the best pony.
>She snorts and wakes up
>"Huh? Wha?"
>You help her up
Shipwrecked, Captain.
>Rainbow Dash just stares at you
>"Who are you?"
Uhh. Cabin Boy Anon, Captain.
>"Oh yes! O-of course!"
>She leans down and whispers to a rock
>"Who is this guy?"
>You watch as she straightens up, and walks around in a circle for 5 minutes
>"Cabin Boy! We appear to be going around in cicles! What is the meaning of this?"
I think you might have dementia, Captain.

1/?

>She stops walking and looks at you, her eyes darting all around
>"I-I knew that."
>She looks down the beach the boat is trashed on
>"Woah! Anon! Get a load of this!"
>You walk to her side
What, what is it?
>"There's a boat here! It's totally trashed!"
>Gawp at her
Captain I think you need to lie down
>Dash looks at you
>"Who are you?"
>Groan in frustration
>Great. The Captain's gone mad
>Unfortunately, in the event of the Captain being unfit for duty, the duties go over to...
>Sigh
>First Mate Fluttershy
>You stomp along the beach towards Fluttershy's unconscious body, leaving Rainbow Dash to talk to the remains of the steering wheel
>Kick her awake
Get up.
>You sigh again
...Captain.
>She bolts awake
>"W-what did you just say?"
>Her eyes are lit up
The Captain is unfit for duty. So you're the new Captain. Please walk into the ocean and kill yourself so that Applejack can take over.
>Fluttershy isn't listening
>"Ohmygoodness! I'm the Captain! I can do whatever I want!"
>She turns to you
>"Strip naked! ...please..."
>Glare at her
No.
>She gets angry
>"I AM THE CAPTAIN! AND I SAY YOU SHOULD STRIP NAKED!"
Well this is a mutiny!

2/?

>Fluttershy screams and jumps at you
>You kick her off and run back to Rainbow Dash
>She tackles you from behind and you roll around in the sand towards the wreckage of the ship
>She pins you down and starts trying to tear your shirt off
>"YOU WILL STRIP, CABIN BOY! CAPTAINS ORDERS!"
>Your arms flail around until you hit a shattered box
>You look at it's contents, floating in and around the box, surrounded by seawater
>Jars. Hundreds of jars.
>Filled to the brim with pickles
>You grab one and smash it over Fluttershy's head
>She falls into the water, her head bleeding from the vegetable-induced injury
>Or it might have been the glass jar
>Was probably the pickles though
>Lethal fuckers, they are
>You walk back over to Rainbow Dash
>"Woah! Who are you?!"
Anon.
>"Nice meeting you, Anon! Are we best friends?"
Yup.
>You pick best pony up under your arm and walk into the Jungle with her, leaving Fluttershy, the rest of the crew and the pickles on the beach

3/?

>Cue Cheesy 80's music

>Anon wandered into the Jungle and became the new god of a local Cannibal Zebra Tribe, he ruled with an iron fist before he stubbed his toe on a rock and died of infection.
>Rainbow Dash recovered her memory and flew back to the mainland, leaving her crew behind and making millions off the tale of her daring escape from cannibal tribes.
>Fluttershy died from her injuries. Her body was swept out to sea and eaten by a shark, who promptly threw up, complaining of the bad taste she left in it's mouth.
>Rarity committed suicide after she learned that she would have to live on a dirty island inhabited by filthy natives. Her body went towards feeding hungry native children.
>Pinkie Pie dug a hole 1 mile deep and broke through to the planet's mantle, her body was liquified before she could throw a party over it.
>Twilight Sparkle created 14 new languages before she died at the ripe old age of 104. She died a quiet death and the local Cannibals held a funeral/barbecue in her honour.
>Applejack, refusing to be on the same island as a pickle, swam out to sea where she trained a shark to be her pet. She then rode it back to the mainland where she and Rainbow Dash started a homosexual relationship with each other, splitting the book profits 50/50
>Celestia ruled for 9050 more years until Discord broke free and poisoned her Cheerios
>Luna, driven mad with grief, crashed the moon into the planet, cracking it in half and wiping out all life except for Discord
>Discord, unable to find anything to do on the barren planet, decided to make a new one. He called it Discordopia.

>Director - Nebulus
>Narrator - Alex, Narrator of Flutterrape
>Writers - Minion of Lulu, Picklehead42, Anonymous
>Cast -
>Twilight Sparkle - Twilight Sparkle
>Applejack - Applejack
>Pinkie Pie - Pinkie Pie
>Rarity - Angelina Jolie
>Rainbow Dash - Rainbow Dash
>Fluttershy - Terry Crews
>Anonymous - Christopher Poole
>Celestia - Daniel Craig
>Luna - Luna
>Discord - Patrick Stewart

4/4
The End?