Some {depression| anxiety} and {anxiety| stress and anxiety} can be {helped| assisted} by {incorporating| integrating| including} caring self-talk and by supporting {self-worth| self-respect| self-regard} and assertiveness. We tend to do to ourselves and to others that which was done to us in {childhood| youth}. Now as {adults| grownups} we {must| should| need to} {give to| offer to| provide to} ourselves all the healthy things we {needed| required} from healthy {parents| moms and dads}. Here are some things to do to {change| alter} the {foundation| structure} of {depression| anxiety} and {anxiety| stress and anxiety}:

{Step| Action} 1. {Write down| Jot down| Make a note of| Document} the {negative| unfavorable} things you {think about| consider| think of} yourself, others, and your {circumstances| situations| scenarios}. This activity will {bring to| give} your {conscious| mindful} awareness the {negative thinking| negative attitude} and self-talk that {is common| prevails} to {many| numerous| lots of} {kinds of| type of| sort of} {depression| anxiety} and {anxiety| stress and anxiety}. The {negative| unfavorable} and self-critical self-talk demoralizes the ego and manifests as feeling down, blue, {sad| unfortunate}, {anxious| nervous| distressed}, {fearful| afraid} and self-doubting. This low {mood| state of mind} and {anxiety| stress and anxiety} then {affect| impact} sleeping, {eating| consuming}, and low energy. {Common| Typical} examples of {negative| unfavorable} self-talk are: I am incapable, I can't do it, I am unlovable, I am a failure, I {failed| stopped working} {again| once again}, I can't do it, {No one| Nobody} {wants to| wishes to} {talk to| speak with| speak to| talk with} me, {No one| Nobody} {cares about| appreciates} me, {etc| and so on}

. {Step| Action} 2. {Write down| Jot down| Make a note of| Document} {statements| declarations} that are self-caring, nurturing, {reassuring| assuring}, {supportive| helpful| encouraging}, and {validating| verifying| confirming}. This {exercise| workout} {helps| assists} to {identify| determine| recognize} the {opposites| revers} of the {negative| unfavorable} self-talk: I can do it, I have {many| numerous| lots of} {abilities| capabilities}, I am caring and kind, I can get what I {need and want| want and needs}, I {deserve| are worthy of| should have} to be {happy| pleased| delighted}, I can {succeed| be successful| prosper}, {etc| and so on}

. {Step| Action} 3. {Write down| Jot down| Make a note of| Document} {negative| unfavorable} things {parents| moms and dads} {said| stated} or {communicated| interacted} to you when you were {growing up| maturing}. Here you can {write down| jot down| make a note of| document} what you {thought| believed} {parents| moms and dads} felt about you by what they {said| stated} or did such as: I {wish| want} you were {never| never ever} born, I do not like you, I do not {care about| appreciate} you, I do not {want to| wish to} be around you, You {are in| remain in} the {way| method}, You are a {bother| trouble}, You {should| ought to| must| need to} be seen {but| however} not heard, {etc| and so on}

. Step 4. {Write down| Jot down| Make a note of| Document} things you {needed| required} or {wanted| desired} {parents| moms and dads} to {say| state} to you as a {child| kid}. Here you can {write| compose} {the things| the important things} you {wanted| desired} or {needed| required} {parents| moms and dads} to {say| state} or do such as: I {love| like| enjoy} you no matter what {happens| occurs| takes place}, I am so {glad| happy| pleased| delighted| thankful| grateful} you {are in| remain in} my life, You can {succeed| be successful| prosper}, It's {OK| OKAY} to {cry| weep| sob} when you're {hurt| harmed| injured}, {Everything| Whatever} will be {OK| OKAY}, I felt the {same as| like} you {sometimes| in some cases| often}, You can do anything, You are {good at| proficient at} that, Thanks for {helping| assisting} me, You are so kind and caring, {etc| and so on}

. Step 5. {Write down| Jot down| Make a note of| Document} what you would do or {say| state} if you saw another {child| kid} being {treated| dealt with} the {way| method} you were {treated| dealt with} in # 3. If you heard {someone| somebody} {say| state} mean things to a {child| kid} or slap a {child| kid}, what would you {say| state}? {Maybe| Perhaps| Possibly} you would {say| state} things like: You have no right to {say| state} that, Be {nice| good| great} to the {child| kid}, The {child| kid} {needs| requires} your love, You {need| require} to support your {child| kid} and be {reassuring| encouraging| comforting} and caring and {loving| caring} and {affectionate| caring}, You {need| require} to be {encouraging| motivating}, {etc| and so on}

. {Step| Action} 6. If you had all the {positive| favorable} things as a {child| kid} that you {needed| required} from healthy {parents| moms and dads}, how do you {imagine| picture| envision} your life might be {different| various} today? If your {parents| moms and dads} had {said| stated} {encouraging| motivating}, caring, and {supportive| helpful| encouraging} things to you as a {child| kid}, how do you {imagine| picture| envision} your life might be {different| various} today? This {step| action} {helps| assists} you {formulate| develop| create} and {create| produce| develop} a vision for how your life can be {different| various} in a healthy {way| method}. {Depression| Anxiety} that {comes from| originates from} {negative| unfavorable} self-talk is a {form| type| kind} of self-abandonment and self-abuse. The {ultimate| supreme} self-abuse and self-abandonment is self-harm and {suicidal| self-destructive} thinking. {Conversely| On the other hand| Alternatively}, hope, optimism, {self-worth| self-respect| self-regard}, and {self-confidence| confidence| self-esteem} form the basis of a {stable| steady} {mood| state of mind} and {sense of security| complacency}, {safety| security}, {confidence| self-confidence}, {well-being| wellness}, inner peace, {personal| individual} power, and {happiness| joy}.

{Step| Action} 7. Now you {must| should| need to} be {for yourself| on your own} all {the things| the important things} that you {needed| required} your {parents| moms and dads} to be for you: {encouraging| motivating}, nurturing, {loving| caring}, caring, {supportive| helpful| encouraging}, and {reassuring| assuring}. This {means| implies| indicates| suggests} you {need| require} to {say| state} to yourself and be {for yourself| on your own} all the {positive| favorable} things you {needed| required} from healthy {parents| moms and dads}. If {no one| nobody} else can {give| provide| offer} you the caring that you {need| require}, who does that leave? {Ultimately| Eventually}, you are the one who {must| should| needs to} {care for| take care of| look after} you. So this {means| implies| indicates| suggests} you {must| should| need to} {choose| select| pick} healthy {people| individuals} to be in your life, and you {must| should| need to} be {supportive| helpful| encouraging} of yourself and of that other caring {person| individual}. In this {way| method} you will be caring of yourself. Another {important| essential| crucial} piece is to {stand up for| defend} yourself and support yourself when you are {treated| dealt with} {badly| terribly| severely} by others.

Step 8. You {must| should| need to} be assertive and {say| state} things like: I {don't| do not} like your tone, I {deserve| are worthy of| should have} more {respect| regard} than that, I {deserve| are worthy of| should have} a raise in {salary| income| wage}, I feel {annoyed| irritated| frustrated| upset} when ... {etc| and so on}. {Take care of| Look after} that little {boy| young boy| kid} or {girl| woman| lady} who was {abused| mistreated} and {mistreated| maltreated}. That little {boy| young boy| kid} or {girl| woman| lady} is still inside you and {needs| requires} your {protection| security| defense}. Be {for yourself| on your own} now what you {needed| required} then. Will you {stand up for| defend} him or her?