Hey everyone! Hope all is doing well..or at least ok! I wanted to make this pastebin..sorta a journal entry...to share with you guys how I've been feeling the past few days. Since we are all having to stay apart..I think it can be helpful to reach out to others in times like these. So lets get started with my issues haha!
So recently, within the past couple days, I've been feeling pretty down. I am coming to realize that it's because of everything that is happening in the world and in my personal life at the same time. Everything is unbalanced and I don't really know how to feel....I guess it makes me feel insecure for some reason. I am not sure why and this is not normal for me for feel this way. Although my social life in Ohio isn't much different than how it's always been, it still feels strange to think twice before leaving the house. Even just going out to the store needs to be reconsidered unless I really need something. I usually make trips to walmart a couple times a week lol. So thats weird! And also, I don't really socialize with people/family outside of work unless my mom is in town, but there have been times when I wanted to reach out to old friends recently just to catch up...but can't. I am not working now, but am lucky that I am getting normal pay..even as a part time/seasonal bookstore cashier. I only worked twice a week, but I am noticing how it it changes my life a bit by never needing to worry about work..I am not sure if that is a good thing or bad..since I am still getting paid. I don't really miss work lol.
Another thing that has gotten me down is the fact that all my trips are canceled till..i dunno when. I had a trip to NJ planned and Vidcon. I've been looking forward to these trips for a long time and I love traveling so much! I feel like, I live to travel and to go on new adventures and meet new people...it really bums me out that those adventures are taken from me..at least for right now.
I know all this is very 'first world problems' but I still need to get it out there...especially since I've been spending more time online (which isn't good). I've always been more of a 'future seeking' person so I feel I have a sense of need to make plans..for fun things...and I feel I can't do that. I've never felt this way...I've always did whatever I wanted and didn't let anything stop me from doing what i wanted to do...but now I am stopped (as well as everyone in this world) and I just don't know how to feel.
I actually did a tarot card reading today...I like to do it for fun and sometimes it gives me a new perspective. Interestingly, I got the 5 of cups which means I am dealing with something that I have lost...which I am thinking is my freedom. The card explains that there is no going back, but I will move on from this and move upwards and onwards. Reaching out to friends is important at this time..which is why I am posting this.
I've also picked a card from my Oracle cards called "The Enchanted Map". These cards are usually more positive, but this time, mine isn't so positive. I got a reversed card called "Into the Unknown". It basically explains how although I am entering a time of unknown, to make sure I am aware that I am inexperienced. If I am not aware of this, I can be lead to a dangerous situation for which I am unprepared. I need to keep an open mind and enter this part of my journey with alertness. I am not exactly sure of how this helps me and how I feel now, but it definitely something I need to keep in mind..maybe it's a reminder to keep being cautious when going out at this time. Although we cannot see the virus..doesn't mean its not there..it is very much there. The last sentence on the card says that now is not the time for careless adventures....pretty interesting, I think.
I do one more reading from my Journal Cards. Tonight I got "New - Each and Every Morning Offers A New Beginning" These cards asks 3 questions to peculate on. Those questions are:
1) An I looking with a fresh perspective?
2) Do I embrace uncommon experiences?
3) Have I allowed for a second chance?
I don't have the answers to these questions yet, but it does tie into the reading as a whole and can help me.
I do these readings from time to time for fun and to help me think from a different perspective if I feel I am confused or down about something.
Thank you for reading this if you did! Please let me know how you're doing! Should I post again later on? I can do a reading for you if you'd like! LMK! :D