Greetings
6 messages
Luke Closs <lukecloss@gmail.com>	 Mon, Oct 4, 2010 at 8:37 PM
To: clossey@
Hi, I'm Luke Closs.

I saw you on Google Instant during my annual self-google.  I'm from
Vancouver too - what are the odds?

I just named my son Jackson. You don't have a son Jackson Clossey do you?

Your prefix,
Luke Closs
L Clossey <lclossey@>	 Mon, Oct 4, 2010 at 11:01 PM
To: Luke Closs <lukecloss@gmail.com>
Hey Luke,

I don't have any sons named anything, but my art director--who is like a
son to me!--is indeed named Jackson.

I did a quick retaliatory google.  Bloody hell, I think we were at the
same 2-day retreat at Westcoast Dharma.  I can't remember when I was
there, but the guest host was definitely Michele McDonald.

Obviously one of us is a figment of the other's imagination.  Not sure
what solution is advisable, if any.

Your suffix,
Luke

Luke Closs <lukecloss@gmail.com>	 Mon, Oct 11, 2010 at 1:16 PM
To: clossey@
Mr. Clossey,

I wanted to inform you that I will be on the lookout for any tampering
on my possessions that I have labelled 'Luke Closs'.  I have just
realized a potential attack vector against my personal possessions,
which is that you could append a 'ey' to any of my labelled
belongings.

While potentially costly, I will now start to label my belongings
inside a bounding box to prevent such suffix related attacks.

Thank you for your time,
+----------------+
| Luke Closs |
+----------------+
[Quoted text hidden]
L Clossey <lclossey@>	 Sun, Oct 17, 2010 at 12:18 PM
To: Luke Closs <lukecloss@gmail.com>
Dear Mr. Closs,

On the advice of legal counsel, I hereby inform you that

(1) It is a well known and long established fact that I often become distracted and finish things incompletely:  emails get
[Quoted text hidden]
L Clossey <lclossey@>	 Sun, Oct 17, 2010 at 12:18 PM
To: Luke Closs <lukecloss@gmail.com>
Dear Mr. Closs,

On the advice of legal counsel, I hereby inform you that

(1) It is a well known and long established fact that I often become distracted and finish things incompletely:  emails get sent incomplete, pancake batter ends up in the skillet without flour, and I put boxes around my name even when two of the letters have been left out.

(2) In accordance with (1), above, a boxed "Closs" is evidently not sufficient to distinguish between us with regards to ownership of property.

(3) Everything currently in your possession that has (3a) a boxed "Closs" and (3b) a retail value of at least $500 should be returned to me immediately.

(4) Despite (2), above, I am in the process of etching boxed "Closs"s on things I no longer need (3 air mattresses with invisible leaks, a VCR player that might not work, my sense of purpose in life, a paperweight from his highness the Aga Khan, etc.), and request that you remove these your properties from my flat at your earliest convenience.

Similar notifications have gone out to Mr. Closy, Mr. Cloey, Mr. Clsey, Mr. Cssey, and Mr. Ossey.

With regards,
LC
[Quoted text hidden]