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"Excuse me Glynda…" He choked, offering her one last smile before vanishing. The three teenage girls giggled as whispered words were exchanged. He fell upon them like Oobleck upon a cup of coffee, garbled words spilling from his mouth as he reached for the girl's scroll. The girl, one he didn't recognise stuttered some kind of response, face going red as he took the scroll from her hands.

On the screen was a steamy shower window, though to his horror small glimpses of skin could be seen through it.

"Hunted you through the trees, now I'm not gonna stop – just a man and his will to survive~"

"How," he said, fingers turning white as the scroll seemed to flex in his hands, "why, when, who, what!?" He turned to the girl and she seemed to step back in fear, her two friends readily abandoning her.

"Umm… which question… sir?"

"All of them!" He managed, voice turning to a squeak at the end.

"Uhh… it's… um, well it's… err…" the girl stammered as sweat trickled down her brow. "It's… you?"

"Yes!" He said, arms thrown wide. "Yes, it is, a very good likeness too!"

"I didn't take it!" The girl cried out, ducking down with her hands over her head.

[...]

"That's all of them!" Jaune gasped, panting as he deposited the seventy or eighty scrolls onto the carpet of his living room floor. The pile collapsed as it landed, scrolls spilling left and right so fast that even Neo scooted up onto her seat, holding her legs up as she watched them curiously.

Hesitantly she reached down for one, flicking it open to see an image of Jaune in the bath, his lower body hidden by suds. She offered him a raised eyebrow.

"I know." He said, looking through the kitchen drawers for something, "the people here are crazy… they need to be purified."

Ah there they were. Matches! Oh yes… there was no problem fire couldn't solve.

"Mwahahaha!" Jaune laughed as the scrolls went up in flames, sparking and popping loudly as they began to fall apart. "Mwhaha-oh shit, the carpet!"

Ten minutes, two extinguishers and one pissed-off Neo later, the exhausted Professor collapsed into the comfortable armchair across from his pint-sized roommate, letting out what felt like the longest sigh of his life.

"I just don't get it," he said shaking his head, "not only what they would have wanted those things for. But how have they been sneaking into my room to see me?"

"Me cooking breakfast, another shower shot, sleeping!?" They were torn into confetti a second later, in the background Yang could see her sister reaching for the shreds pleadingly, her eyes misting over. "If it wasn't you… then who took these?"

"Do I get to live if I do?" Yang nervously laughed, though it died when his face didn't change. "I got them from the fan club…" And here she was… already breaking the first rule of the club… oh she would be punished for this alright.

"What fan club?"

Well… she'd already broken one rule right? And he did look scary…

"The Professor Arc Fan Club – the PAFC."

"The… what now?"

"Well… there's a fan club dedicated to you… and they… well, y'know… like personal belongings and pictures sell well. Someone got the images, and I was tasked to sell them." She held her hands out wide, imploring him to believe the truth. "It was just my job Professor, honest. I didn't take them – Hell, I don't know who could have taken them, since they managed to sneak into your bathroom while you were showering."

[...]

Across from him Neo shrugged, a small red light flickering from atop the scroll she was reading from.

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[...]

Oh Neo, you troll. Of course it would be you supplying the underground market Jaune memorabilia… and no doubt quite the tidy profit you make – how else does she keep affording all that ice-cream?

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