“There are about forty different species you can pick from and they’re all super cute-”

Did she accidentally wear a lighter shade of black today? Or maybe she slept wrong last night so her usual aura was off... Because Gretchan, her stupid brother’s stupid classmate, was attempting to talk to her as if she knew anything about video games.

“I know you’re normally into more violent games but I think if you tried it you might like it and... um...”

Gaz refused to even lift her eyes from her Game Slave screen to acknowledge the other girls presence. She had never touched a simulator game in her entire existence. Even when she was a drooling infant such things were below her level. Realizing she wouldn’t get any acknowledgement out of her, Gretchan sulked away back to her table. Unfortunately, she was quickly replaced with another annoyance.

“Watch where you’re going idiotic bag of pubescent... MEATS!”

Her brother’s extraterrestrial classmate was screaming at other students. Again.

Against what he had probably hoped, the little midget hadn’t grown at all and stood out like a sore green thumb in the mass of other teenagers. Gaz wasn’t even sure why he still went to Skool with them after all these years. If she had the option she would have ditched this greasy tar pit the second she could.

As if she didn’t already have a stupidity headache, her brother insisted on sitting next to her. And today he was ranting about chasing cheese goblins or some other retarded shit.

“Don’t even think about it Dib! You promised you would drop me off at the mall after school today.”

She had begged pretty fucking hard but her Dad still refused to let her go to the midnight release of the second rerelease of the first rerelease of Vampire Piggy Hunter 3D 95’ they were having at the Game Store. While he normally supported her addiction, he still believed school came first so he insisted she just reserve a copy to pick up the next day.

“Yeah yeah whatever Gaz. I’m going to need to buy a few things anyways if I want to-”

With the assurance that she didn’t even need to physically threaten him into taking her she tuned out his moronic monologue and returned to her game.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As with every Vampire Piggy release, there was a huge line twisting to the very back of the mall of eager game zombies. Ever since the incident with Iggins some years back, Gaz had always made sure to reserve her copy in advance.

She passed right by the restless hoard and up to the counter to speak to the sorry excuse behind the register.

“I have the Vampire Piggy Hunter 3D 95’ release under pre order for Gaz Membrane.”

The cashier disappeared to the backroom for a few minutes before coming back empty handed.

“We don’t have it here.” Gaz could feel her blood run cold. “There must have been a mistake so they mailed it to your house instead of keeping it here for you to pick up.”

“And when... will it GET to my house...” Her fingernails were digging into her skin with how hard she was balling her hands into fists.

“It’s guaranteed to arrive within a month... because of this mishap I’m supposed to offer you a free game from our sales rack... so go pick anything tagged in red over there.” The cashier pointed over her head to a forgotten area of the store.

Nearly shaking with rage, she approached the sales rack in the back corner of the store and gave it a quick scan over. The rack was filled with licensed cashgrab garbage and the laziest of lazy indie shit. However, one case haphazardly placed near the very edge of the top rack caught her eye as being obnoxiously pastel.

She lightly kicked the rack so that the game slid off its unstable position and fell into her hands. In a large bubbly blue font the words “Shloopbit Space Farm!” appeared above a little mint green pig alien blob reaching out towards the viewer.

This must have been the retarded garbage baby simulator for stupid casual morons Gretchan was trying to tell her about. She flipped it over in her hands and read the information on the back. She was surprised to see that for a casual infant game it had a lot of content...

She was going to need something to do while she waited for the mail each day... As long as no one ever found out she could probably at least get some ironic enjoyment out of how bad it was.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

4:12 am.

Gaz had unlocked all forty species, the three post game hidden ones, and even extracted the data-mined unfinished character. She had unlocked and purchased all 13,000 outfit options and double the amount of space treats. All of her aliens had been trained flawlessly and half of them even ended up going to grad school.

She played the game for two weeks straight any time she could escape to be alone from her brother or classmates. She may have developed an extremely unhealthy obsession with it but she still had enough pride to never let anyone find out about her love for a casual simulator game.

But now she had reached 105% and there was nothing left to do but either replay it or move on. Every head-pat interaction would be a stale rehash of an experience she already lived.

There would never be a sequel to fill the void this game created in her either. Gaz had done some research and the game was seven years old from a company that had crashed and burned upon its release. Literally. A plane had landed into the dev’s office and everyone caught on fire.

She turned the portable console off and laid down to succumb to empty dreams without hope of more alien raising simulators.

School that day was even more Hell than usual as she itched to scratch her urge for more Shloopbits. Before  she knew if she endured the idiocy around her she would be able to escape to her Shloops later that evening but now she had nothing to look forward to.

Gaz repeatedly stabbed her lunchmeat with her school issued spork. Her brother, three out of four of his limbs in splints after a showdown with Zim the previous night, buzzed on and on about something stupid. Dib poked her roughly in the shoulder to get her attention and she growled.

Like always he was pointing at stupid Zim the... Alien.

Zim was an alien.

It was the withdrawal after a two week long high that was turning her thought process to mush. She knew it was a stupid idea. It was the kind of idea that her normal self would kick the shit out of her for even contemplating. But she would do anything for more Shloops.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The collar had been created by her Dad to subdue his experimental secretary wombats if they went rabid. After enough attempts to see that the wombats were incapable of not going rabid he had given up entirely and the collar was left to collect dust in his lab. Gaz pocketed it before grabbing her coat and leaving the house.

It didn’t take her very long to reach Zim’s house and it took an even shorter time to barter with his computer security system into letting her enter. She passed GIR sleeping in a pile of old birthday cake to the secret trashcan entrance. She may have lost her mind but she still had enough dignity to not travel down a toilet.

The little green moron was at his battle station looking up at the giant screens thoughtfully. Gaz stood behind him for a full five minutes waiting for him to turn around and notice her presence but Zim remained oblivious. Not in the mood for waiting Gaz walked up right behind him and smacked him over the head with the metal collar. The alien let out a yelp before falling over and hitting the ground with an undignified thud.

After making sure he was out cold, Gaz took the collar and snapped it shut around his neck. She grabbed his ankle and began to drag him out of the base. Up the elevator and across the living room, where Gir had woken up to wave hello before falling back asleep, and out the door.

“What the hell is that?” A woman on the street passing by stopped to ask her.

“Dead puppy.”

The woman nodded in recognition then continued on her way. Finally reaching her house she slammed open the door and dragged Zim in. She was really banking on Dib being out on his flatwoods monster search for at least a few more hours. Once she safely reached her bedroom she dropped Zim in the middle of the floor.

After experiencing horrible withdrawal, Gaz once again had her alien and now she could...

She should have planned this better.

What the fuck was she supposed to do with Zim anyways? It was very tempting to punch her hand through the wall at her own stupidity but she needed those for button mashing. Considering she had no clue how long Zim would be unconscious for, Gaz figured she needed to have at least something in mind for when he woke up.

Hoping the alien wouldn’t bolt up and start going crazy for at least another three minutes she went to grab some things. First stopping by the kitchen, she opened the fridge and saw what it had to offer. Three slices of leftover Bloaty’s, a package of a candy that was known for being so sugary it gave people seizures, and a can of Poop Cola. She might as well take all of them and see what worked.

Once she was back in her room she carelessly dropped the loot she had stolen from the fridge onto her bed. Zim was beginning to stir on the floor so she gripped the shock controller and waited tensely.

“The Dib-Sister?! What have you-“

Zim was cut off with a piercing shriek as she pressed down on the controller. She grabbed him by the collar of his uniform.

“Listen Zim! You tell anybody about this and I’ll make every single one of my brother’s autopsy threats a reality!”

“Eh!? But-“

Once again he was cut off by the horrible pain of being electrocuted at the whims of a angry teenage girl. This event repeated itself five times before Zim finally remained quiet.

“Good so you just stay there and... and I’m going to...”

Gaz reaches out her hand towards him, she figured the quicker she attempted something the less likely she was to back out. Zim flinched in response expecting her to maim him in some way. She placed her hand right on his head directly between his antenna and he shut his eyes in anticipation.

His head was cold and had a smooth texture. She begin to rub her hand over the top of her head.

Once he realized she wouldn’t be injuring him, he opened his eyes to look at her in confusion. No happy chirping, no purring, not even a change in expression.

Well.

She felt like a fucking moron.

“Zim does not underst-“

Once again he was interrupted by a howl of pain.

“Shut up! I said no talking.”