Jump 144: Mass Effect

Jump #144: Mass Effect
>Ace of Cups (The seed of a new relationship or spiritual journey - perhaps as yet unseen.)
>Age: 27
>Location: Earth
>Identity: Drop-In, Human
>Drawbacks: Shepard's Flock (+100)
Well, to be fair, I probably would have tried to do something anyway. No rails here, just Reaper bullshit, and quite frankly? Fuck them, and fuck their markers.
>Class: Adept
Because biotics all day every day.
>Finesse (950, Adept)
Maybe you didn't hear me I said ALL DAY EVERY DAY, SON.
>Exemplar (550)
Paragon is a good way to play, overall. The people need heroes, even if I'm not the hero that the Alliance needs right now.
>Apostate (150)
Ooh, a cooking perk. Because I'm going to be MAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL OMELETTES.
Buy 24 eggs. FUCK EVERY EGG. BURN ALL THE FUC᠎KING EGGS. And from the ashes the mother of all omelettes will be born.
Serve with bacon or toast.
>Loadout (Free)
Ooh, freebies. I'll take them.
>Medi-Gel Kit (100)
This is useful. I'm going to have to take this with me to other jumps. Although you know the only reason it can outright fix bullet holes is because bullets are about the size of a grain of sand, right?
>Assistant VI (0)
Honestly, having a VI to run interference when I need it will be a useful thing, both now and later.

Here Shepard, I've been putting together a generic "hero" nanotech package over the last few dozen jumps. Have some nanites that will make you regenerate with alacrity unless your head is outright destroyed, and this infusion which will give you the strength of five men. Also, here, take this ring and carry this knife, sure it may seem a bit odd but you'd be surprised the difference it will make.

Here council, have some direct evidence of who the Reapers are. Also I'm not even from this universe, I actually came here because of the Reapers' threat, since they've been doing this for so many million years, but don't tell anyone about that aspect.

Oh look, the Reapers are actually going to attack now. I'm glad everyone's finally motivated to fight them. Here, have some black-box technology to use against them too. It won't work in a year, but in a year the Reapers will all be dead (or we will) so that's fine, right? Right. Also they explode if you open them, so don't open them.

Oh look, the Reapers are massing and attacking Sol. That's fine. Here, Reapers, have something I've been working on for a while: the main cannon of Sajuuk is currently being powered by myself and everything that is fired is a magical purification blast amplified by ridiculous levels.

Oh look, the Reapers are dead. What a shame.