alviss

ArtielToday at 3:55 AM
Hey, Alviss. Hit me up when you're around. Wanted to talk to you about something important.

AlvissToday at 5:54 AM
I just woke up. What's the matter?

ArtielToday at 6:05 AM
Basically, I'm worried you may be making some other members a little uncomfortable recently.

AlvissToday at 6:09 AM
I am?
Let me guess you're going to ban me now? Like that hasn't happened before due to me having emotions.
I hate having autism. No one ever wants to try to understand me
Well go on then do your worst. Just know I'll have to get used to the fact that my whole life people are going to be hypocrites just because of my emotions I shouldn't have.
I'm honestly fed up with people like that

ArtielToday at 6:13 AM
Alviss, I'm not going to ban you.
I'm just going to ask that you take a break for a little while. I'm not going to remove you from the site, I'm not going to remove/archive your characters. I'm just gonna ask that you take some time and feel better.

AlvissToday at 6:15 AM
That's surprising
No one ever gives me a chance
at all
It usually ends with me being banned just because I have emotions
Honestly at this point i've come to expect it
People are hypocrites and never want to understand other people
Also if I take a break I'll be removed anyway for inactivity

ArtielToday at 6:18 AM
Nah, I'll leave them on the roster for you. I'm not looking to gip/cheat you here. My nephew is autistic.
I understand your issues and know that sometimes the best way to feel better is to take a safe break.
One where you don't have the pressure to change behavior on a dime or conform to rules you don't see well.

AlvissToday at 6:19 AM
Okay
Well can you take a look at my app while I am away?

ArtielToday at 6:21 AM
Of course.
I'm going to ask that you take a month or so, and I'll also give you some resources where you can find people to listen to you. Natalie mentioned you've been feeling down and a little unheard.

AlvissToday at 6:22 AM
Not just unheard. No one wants to understand me
It's made me scorn the world because people never want to try
And I've come to expect being banned as a natural response

ArtielToday at 6:26 AM
Understandable. So what I'm going to do now is pass you a couple of links.
These links are basically places where people volunteer to listen to others.
They offer you the chance both to be heard (no matter what) and the chance to hear others, if you want to.
https://www.7cups.com/ Here's one.
7 Cups - Free Care & Therapy
Find Help, Online Therapy & Free Counseling and Someone to Talk to while on the go! We are here to listen.
It's definitely my favorite and I've used it before.

AlvissToday at 6:30 AM
A whole month though? That's going to make me miss all the activity checks
Is this your way of telling me to get lost?

ArtielToday at 6:31 AM
Nah, if I were telling you to get lost, I'd tell you to get lost.
This is me giving you the chance to recup a bit so that I don't feel the need to tell you to get lost.

AlvissToday at 6:32 AM
I won't earn any exp rewards though

ArtielToday at 6:32 AM
Yeah, but you'll still be on the site.
Thankfully, the EXP rewards from check-ins aren't all that much.

AlvissToday at 6:37 AM
Okay so how am I making people uncomfortable? People never tell me why they just start with. "I need to talk to you about something important." Then. "I am afraid we will have to ban you." Before I can ask why though it already happened.
Sometimes they don't even say the first line
They just ban me outright
Actually no that's most of the time

ArtielToday at 6:38 AM
Some of your behaviors make you a little hard to talk to. It feels a little like you aren't connecting well with others, and I think that having a place to be listened to will allow you the chance to figure out some better ways to do that without making people uncomfortable.

AlvissToday at 6:39 AM
That's vague

ArtielToday at 6:39 AM
It's because it's hard to explain without specifying who's brought the concern to me.
I'd rather not out them for privacy's sake.

AlvissToday at 6:39 AM
Natalie tells me to elaborate on my app but you won't on this subject?

ArtielToday at 6:40 AM
On the subject of the app or the subject of people feeling uncomfortable?

AlvissToday at 6:40 AM
both
I'm saying that you guys ask for things you can't deliver on your own

ArtielToday at 6:41 AM
If I couldn't deliver this on my own I wouldn't be speaking to you, Alviss.
Elaborating on an application (based around fictional characters and the merits of your writing) isn't the same thing as elaborating on a social issue that makes someone difficult to deal with; the only thing that links them together is the knowledge that both rely on the person in question accepting constructive criticism.
No criticism I give you or have given you will be to tear you down.

AlvissToday at 6:43 AM
I see
A whole month seems a little excessive though

ArtielToday at 6:45 AM
I want to make sure you have the time you need to adjust.

AlvissToday at 6:45 AM
I don't have any idea what to adjust to

ArtielToday at 6:46 AM
Your goal, more or less, is to learn how to connect with others. To do that, you want to start by being listened to. And then, to learn to listen better.
Talking to you a lot of the time feels like talking to a brick wall, or a narcissistic one.
It's not often fun because it doesn't feel as though it's a two way conversation.
It's partially because of your autism, which I don't fault you for.

AlvissToday at 6:46 AM
I hate having it
It's brought me nothing but grief

ArtielToday at 6:47 AM
But I think there are ways you can get around that (in part) by taking some time to think about rules to interact with others.

AlvissToday at 6:49 AM
Well after highschool I had left a lot of my closest friends behind since I was no longer there
Now I hardly have any friends that live close to me
I'm always inside talking to people I can't meet up with

ArtielToday at 6:51 AM
Mhm. It may be a good idea to get out.
Use an app like Meetup or etc to find a friend or two to do something with.

AlvissToday at 6:52 AM
Maybe

ArtielToday at 6:53 AM
It may be a good idea.
But what I'm going to do for now (just for now) is send you a friend request on here and temporarily remove you from the Discord. In one month's time, I'll readd you to it (and if you think I've forgotten, you can use the link on the site to rejoin manually).

AlvissToday at 6:54 AM
Why remove me?

ArtielToday at 6:54 AM
Just to make sure you take the time you need.
Having the temptation can make things harder.
I know that one from experience.

AlvissToday at 6:55 AM
At least tell them I'm taking a break
Otherwise my friends or going to be up in arms

ArtielToday at 6:56 AM
You can post in LOA if you want, saying something like:
"I'm going to be taking a break from the site for about a month or so. I'll be back in November."
LOA being the Leave of Absence channel.
I'll remove you here in like an hour or so, when I'm done with my current task. Feel free to send people friend requests if you'd like to add them!

AlvissToday at 7:01 AM
November 1st. I rather it not be a whole month from now

ArtielToday at 7:02 AM
The furthest I'll compromise is November 11th.
Which is the start of this week in November.

AlvissToday at 7:02 AM
This sounds like I'm being punished

ArtielToday at 7:02 AM
Healing can sometimes feel that way, but I promise it's not. I'm trying to give you structure and rules to follow because I know that doing things without them can be tough.

AlvissToday at 7:03 AM
A break is a length of time I can rest and be at ease. It's not determined by anyone else other than the one initiating it.
If someone else is issuing the break then it's not a break

ArtielToday at 7:03 AM
I disagree.
Sabbaticals are breaks suggested by authority figures.
AlvissToday at 7:04 AM
I never heard of that

ArtielToday at 7:04 AM
Sabbaticals usually come up in careers.
At least, in education.

AlvissToday at 7:04 AM
Yeah most of the time people are fired instead

ArtielToday at 7:05 AM
Right, but the equivalent to that here is to ban you... and I do not want to ban you. I want you to come back better than before, and to do that, I must provide "tough love."
And be firm with you, because that's what I would want done to me.
Golden rule: act unto others as you would wish to be acted toward.

AlvissToday at 7:06 AM
Yeah well I do try to act that way but I'm sure you can understand that I've been hurt an betrayed before
It's hard to trust people
In fact I don't trust you right now. There is nothing stopping you from banning me.
Before I trusted too easily and it's gotten me blackmailed and scammed
Not to mention backstabbed

ArtielToday at 7:08 AM
Well, think of it like this.
From a logical/objective standpoint.
What do I have to gain from not banning you outright if I were going to ban you at all?
Doing this would just make me look bad, since you'd have the chat-logs.
If I ban you, it would be at the end of this month after seeing if you've adjusted.

AlvissToday at 7:09 AM
Then that's how long I have
Well it was nice knowing you
I know for a fact I won't be able to adjust

ArtielToday at 7:10 AM
If you believe you won't adjust, then you won't.
If you believe you can or you can't, you'll always be right.
Either way, I'll see you on the site in a month or so and I do hope you'll have adjusted a little. I don't want to ban you, Alviss. I want to see you do and be better, like I would for my nephew.

AlvissToday at 7:11 AM
Well how am I supposed to adjust?
I don't even know how

ArtielToday at 7:11 AM
Use sites like 7 cups of tea and spend some time each day speaking with others there about your problems and how you feel. If you have no problems that day, volunteer to listen instead.
7Cups also has an "Active Listening" course that can help you learn to listen.
Active listening is one of the many things that allow you to connect with others.
If you take time to do that, you'll be one step ahead of where you were.
I would also suggest using apps like MeetMe and the friendship side of Tinder to find friends to interact with offline, that you can enjoy some time with.

AlvissToday at 7:13 AM
Fuck meetme
I got scammed the most on there

ArtielToday at 7:13 AM
MEETME SORRY I MEANT MEETUP
They have similar rootwords so it fucked me up for a second.
https://www.meetup.com/
Meetup
We are what we do
Find Meetups so you can do more of what matters to you. Or create your own group and meet people near you who share your interests.


AlvissToday at 9:54 AM
Artiel I already don't like this 'break'
This is not something I want to do
This is NOT calming!
Instead of being vague try telling me what's really wrong

ArtielToday at 9:57 AM
Alviss, I told you.
You are unsettling people because you aren't following social norms and you're making them uncomfortable.

AlvissToday at 9:58 AM
Yeah but how many?

ArtielToday at 9:58 AM
Two different people have come to me about it.

AlvissToday at 9:59 AM
tell them to stop being so sensitive to every little thing
I'm tired of walking on eggshells every time I try to talk
I'll speak how I want

ArtielToday at 9:59 AM
Alviss, if someone is being a problem then the solution isn't to ignore the problem.
You are free to talk how you want and act how you want. You aren't free of the consequences.

AlvissToday at 10:00 AM
Forcing me to take a break is going to make my mood worse

ArtielToday at 10:01 AM
Alviss, do you remember the point of this break?

AlvissToday at 10:01 AM
To adjust. But I can't adjust and you are wasting your time.
My time

ArtielToday at 10:02 AM
If you cannot adjust to coexisting with others, what is the alternative?
You owe it to yourself to try but making excuses will not help you as a person.

AlvissToday at 10:03 AM
My alternative is to have people try to be nicer instead of hating on each other all the time. Let them speak how they want to and don't easily get offended.
Let people have emotions
We're not perfect
Let me have my emotions
This whole thing has ruined my day
People get angry and sad
It's normal
Quit expecting me to be perfect just because they got offended

ArtielToday at 10:05 AM
Other people aren't to blame for your faults, Alviss.
You aren't a bad person but you're clearly victimizing yourself.

AlvissToday at 10:07 AM
Because I am a victim. Every time I try to trust someone it's always them wanting me to give them money or some other thing then they take that trust and throw it in my face
I can't trust people easily
You know how many times I got scammed, blackmailed, and backstabbed? Way too many!
I just want to be happy but with everyone getting on my case about how I act this will never happen

ArtielToday at 10:09 AM
I just want to be happy but with everyone getting on my case about how I act this will never happen
This is childish bullshit and you know it.
If you do something wrong, of course people will react.
You aren't free of that consequence.

AlvissToday at 10:10 AM
But that's the thing. I can't tell right from wrong in most cases

ArtielToday at 10:11 AM
Then you have to learn and make a meaningful effort. That's what being human amounts to.

AlvissToday at 10:11 AM
I have tried.
It's difficult
Every time I try though it gets worse
How do I tell?

ArtielToday at 10:13 AM
You have to do research as if you were learning anything else.
YouTube, books, resources.

AlvissToday at 10:16 AM
So the way I think is just wrong then?
Why must my learning be so much more difficult?
I can't understand things as easily as regular people

ArtielToday at 10:21 AM
If you are behind, of course you'll have more ground to cover in order to catch up.
That's just how learning works.

AlvissToday at 10:21 AM
What about me is wrong? I need to know that in order to learn from it

ArtielToday at 10:24 AM
You don't listen to others or know how to communicate your problems without making people uncomfortable.

AlvissToday at 10:24 AM
And how should I try to improve?

ArtielToday at 10:24 AM
You have to do research as if you were learning anything else.
YouTube, books, resources.

AlvissToday at 10:26 AM
...

ArtielToday at 10:27 AM
Alviss, that's literally the entire answer.
I don't know what else to tell you other than to research your problems and look into my suggested solutions.

AlvissToday at 10:28 AM
ok
I suppose I'll just take your word for it
Alright then I will try
I will take that break then

AlvissToday at 1:30 PM
I'm sorry
I was being a selfish idiot

AlvissToday at 1:43 PM
I think you guys are correct I need this break.