Uh-hmmm

Cold Edge Anon Part 13

May 11th, 2014
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  1. > Your stomach chooses that moment to growl.
  2. > You realize, you haven't had lunch, and it is now mid afternoon mid afternoon.
  3. "Welp, time to undo some of that work."
  4. > You take a load of bread, and some blue daisies out of the flower basket.
  5. > Frozen watches you closely the entire time.
  6. > As you make your sandwich, you idly wonder how flowers can even come close to filling the same function as deli meat.
  7. > You take a bite out of the sandwich, and your eyes widen in surprise.
  8. > You are marginally aware of Frozen blushing, but you are currently dealing with the fact that pony sugar sensitivity makes nearly anything dessert.
  9. > Your sandwich, for instance, tastes like pound cake with poppy seeds.
  10. > You're pretty sure the daisies are providing the slightly bitter flavor.
  11. > It's then you notice your wife looking at your mouth hungrily.
  12. > You offer her your sandwich.
  13. "Want some?"
  14. > She shakes her head, still oddly blushing.
  15. > Mares.
  16. > As you open up to take another bite, something clicks in your mind.
  17. > You lift your tongue slightly and...
  18. > Frozen's eyes widen, the blush still vivid on her cheeks.
  19. > You bite down.
  20. > She breathes a little shallowly, then calms down.
  21. > You swallow, and look at your sandwich with new appreciation for a second time.
  22. > You eat the rest of the sandwich slowly, putting on quite a show.
  23. > As you swallow the last bite, Frozen pounces on you.
  24. > Before you know it, you are dragged into the food closet.
  25. > She stares at you intensely.
  26. "You know exactly what you just did, and now you are going to pay the consequences."
  27.  
  28. > A while later, both of you exit the closet.
  29. > You hear voices coming down the hall, and make some effort to smooth out your tousled mane.
  30. "-and this is the kitchen, shouldst thou be troubled by thy stomach."
  31. > Maud enters, followed by Top Sombramen.
  32. > Don Juan sees you, and the relief is palpable.
  33. "If thou wilt pardon me, Rocktor Pie, I have certain matters to discuss with mine brother."
  34. > What is going on here?
  35. > Som With The Wind draws you aside, then gives a significant look towards Frozen, who is shamelessly eavesdropping.
  36. > You shrug at her.
  37. "I'll see what he wants. If you would see to Maud in the meantime?"
  38. > Frozen walks over to the rocktor, and stares at her.
  39. > As you turn back to Ali Bombra, you see Maud return that stare. Who knows what tensions lay behind those faces.
  40. > Ay Casombra whispers at you.
  41. "Brother, this maiden doth drive me to the brink of madness. Her comely face may as well be composed of her beloved stones for what it betrays of her heart's waters!"
  42. > You set a hoof on his shoulder, steadying him.
  43. "Be this any other mare, I would advise thee resort to subtlety and shadowed offers. Yet yon pony be less given to delicacies than thy average maiden. Verily I say unto thee, ask her such things as doth trouble thy mind, for she shall offer truth unadorned."
  44. > Candelombra looks unconvinced.
  45. "Much as I would heed thy council, The Moon Princess's warning doth still ring in my ears caution."
  46. > You raise your eyebrows.
  47. "Thou hast such designs on this mare?"
  48. > Somberdome's cheeks redden.
  49. "Mayhap, in the fullness of time, though I wish to not be overeager in my advances."
  50. > You nod in understanding.
  51. "And thus thy reluctance to air thy concerns."
  52. "E'en so."
  53. "It seemeth me there be but one course."
  54. "And that be...."
  55. > You call across the room.
  56. "Fair Rocktor Pie, wouldst thou be offended shouldst the king inquire as to thine emotional being?"
  57. > Erasom stares at you in stricken panic.
  58. > Maud replies flatly,
  59. "No."
  60. > Problem solved.
  61.  
  62. > You nudge the king closer to the marefolk.
  63. > Once in comfortable talking distance, he takes a breath and
  64. > Lets it out.
  65. > Cmonbro gives you a panicked look.
  66. > You whisper to him,
  67. "//Was there anything you saw which was interesting today?"
  68. > He looks at you in confusion, the realization strikes.
  69. > Atombra clears his throat.
  70. "Rocktor Pie, howbeit something thou hast observed today, if it hath piqued thine interest, wilt thou relay it unto me, that I might supply more like unto it?"
  71. > Maud blinks.
  72. "You want to know what I found interesting today."
  73. > Pongbra nods hesitantly.
  74. > Maud sits down on the floor.
  75. "This may take a while. On the farm, the limestone in the western field had taken in more calcium than usual, probably because of the rain we had been having. Then three ponies and a draconequus appeared. That was you. When we traveled to your kingdom, I smelled rock on Discord. It was old, thaumic rock with harmonious strata. Did you know that he had been covered in rocks for a thousand years."
  76. > Was
  77. > Was that a blush?
  78. > Maud continued in her odd, semi-seductive near-monotone.
  79. "Then I saw the crystal fruit. It once was normal fruit, but a high concentration of thaumic radiation had converted biological processes and structures into geological ones, with some overlap. Your lover speech was stimulating, but undirected enough as to not trigger a reaction. Then I saw a near-optimum demonstration of stimulation, which I must study for more accurate emulation."
  80. > Wait, does she mean what you think she means?
  81. > And she keeps going, Gomubra did not know what he unleashed.
  82. "Then you gave me a tour of the largest thaumic rock structure known to pony. The rock has two alternating strata of unknown aspects, as well as two growth patterns that alternate in such a way as to form any shape, albeit with a minute sinusoidal waveform surface. I request samples of the rocks, both the combined and uncombined for further study, as per our agreement."
  83. > She waits patiently, apparently done with her report.
  84. > Wombrat hesitates, then says,
  85. "Of course. Brother Anonymous, wilt thou join me in fulfilling my obligation?"
  86. > You come to stand next to him, and suggest,
  87. "Let's make the separate rocks first. One growth node, and half a pound of material sound good?"
  88. > Maud nods, and you both use your wishy powers.
  89. > Yours comes out as an irregular snowflake, with holes that resemble a death's head.
  90. > Rockbra's comes out as a spiky ball of hexagonal crystals.
  91. > The rocks are placed on a nearby table, and you gingerly tilt your horn toward Downbro.
  92. > It feels gay, and having two mares watch with keen interest makes it simultaneously more and less uncomfortable.
  93. > Your horns touch, and you quickly produce a third rock, which resembles the head of a housecat, albeit with a ton of spikes and jagged edges instead of fur.
  94. > Maud takes the three rocks, and stuffs them into a pocket of her smock.
  95. > She then turns to her other pocket and says,
  96. "Hush you, they are just samples."
  97. > Talkbra turns to you, uncertain of his choice as an object of his affections.
  98. > You whisper to him,
  99. "She's talking to her pet rock."
  100. > Maud looks at you suddenly.
  101. "Have you met Boulder before."
  102. > You aren't sure about that look in her eyes.
  103. "Ah, no, it was clear from the way you were talking to ...him?"
  104. > Maud gazes at you for a long moment, then says,
  105. "I see you've dealt with rocks before. You know how jealous they can be."
  106. > Her gaze flickers towards Frozen, then she turns to the king.
  107. "I will retire now. I have much research to do."
  108. > And with that, she walks away.
  109.  
  110. > Trombone looks at you mournfully.
  111. "I fear 'twas not meant to be. Ere long, ye shall likely brand thy other shoulder."
  112. > What.
  113. "That is a thing?"
  114. > Som Briddle looks at you like you are easily confused by spoons.
  115. "Thus it has been, since time immemorial. Until a stallion is double branded, he cannot be entrusted with the escort of unattached ladies. Surely thy wife wilt confirm this, if thou needest further proof."
  116. > You turn to Frozen.
  117. "This is an actual thing?"
  118. > She looks at you for a long time.
  119. "I cannot deny it."
  120. > That is some undertones if ever you heard any.
  121. > You turn back to Sombrelone.
  122. "That may be a thing, but I have no such intentions on Maud. Don't worry, I am backing you 100% in your courtship."
  123. > He looks a bit happier.
  124. "Then what dost thou suggest I do to win her affections?"
  125. "Learn about rocks. Try to make interesting crystals, try to imitate other kinds of rocks with crystals. Listen to her poetry, check her pockets when playing hide and seek, but above all, be genuine in your expressions of affection."
  126. > Som Braun's looks a little overwhelmed, and slightly suspicious.
  127. "I do not doubt thy advice, but at times it doth border on the oddly specific. Upon what experience do ye base thy counsel?"
  128. > Crap. Think of something.
  129. "I am somewhat acquainted with her sister, and am not wholely unobservant."
  130. > The Sombrissar accepts this grudgingly.
  131. "Then I too shall retire, to consider all that ye have related unto me, as well as weighty matters of the state. Rest well this night, brother. On the morrow, we shall be engaged in a great work."
  132. > And off he goes.
  133. > Looks like you have some time to yourself.
  134. "You had better not have any designs on Maud."
  135. > You turn back to Frozen.
  136. "It is as I have said."
  137. > She starts walking out of the kitchen, pausing at the threshold. You catch up quickly.
  138. > She continues.
  139. "You are mine. I have claimed you body and soul, and will only accept another Aeternal as a herdmate."
  140. > Fair enough, but,
  141. "Just so we're clear, I am not marrying Pinkie Pie."
  142. > Frozen gives you an odd look.
  143. "Where did you get that idea?"
  144. "You let me in on that one conversation, and you have her fairly well in hoof. It seemed like somepony you wouldn't mind, because you are already the dominant one."
  145. > Frozen nuzzles your neck fondly.
  146. "Oh beloved, I am always the dominant one."
  147. > Sleep comes much later.
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