The Battle of Area 51

The Battle of Area 51


Prologue

	Michael Drayran here. I traveled here to 2030 from the year 2019 after obtaining this tricked-out Delorean time machine from area 51 during the 2019 "Area 51 raid". As you in 2030 may remember, the raid on Area 51 led to the U.S. government abandoning area 51 and then-president Donald Trump resigning from office. David Hasslehoff was elected president soon after and nowadays, what was once known as Area 51 is merely home to a few families of aliens who chose to remain living there after being liberated by the raiders. I took part in said raid, as that's where I obtained this Delorean. I suppose i ought to tell you how it all went down, at least up to the point from which I traveled to the future.


Part 1: Area 51 Raid

	The raid began at 3'o'clock in the morning on September 20th, 2019. There were at least half a million "raiders" gathered. the Area 51 guards had attempted to mobilize the Army and Air Force, but neither took the threat seriously since it had supposedly been started as an internet meme. I knew i'd need help for this raid, so I recruited a famous explorer named Dora Marquez to help me "explore" Area 51. She brought along her cousin Diego, and a fox named Swiper

	"Never thought I'd be doing this", Dora remarked

	"Exploring Area 51?", I'm used.

	"No, encouraging Swiper to swipe something. Normally, I'm trying to stop him from swiping stuff. Area 51 is bound to be full of good stuff, so I figured Swiper might come in handy", Dora explains. The raiders began rushing towards Area 51. Dora, Diego, Swiper, and I dodged bullet fire from both sides and made our way into the base. We noticed several other raiders hot-footing it into the base as well. Looking out the window, I see that Burt Gummer has gained control of a tank and the Area 51 guards are fleeing while more raiders make it inside the base.

	"Swiper found a weapons room", I hear Dora yell. I catch up to them and find Swiper sneaking around in a room full of guns. I help myself to a bazooka

	"If we run into any hostile aliens, these guns might come in handy", I point out. Everyone picks out a gun: Swiper grabs a double-barrel shotgun, Dora puts a pistol in her backpack, and Diego helps himself to a tommy gun. There don't seem to be any aliens on this floor, so we had downstairs to Level 2.

	The first door we see after arriving on Level 2 is marked "Pokemon". I open the door to find a bunch of Elgyem and Beheeyem floating around, as well as a Deoxys. Taking out the Master Ball I brought to the raid, I capture the Deoxys. In the next room we encounter a bizarre looking four-legged creature with a cat head on one end of its body and a dog head on the other end.

	"What's that supposed to be? a catdog?", I wonder. Diego thinks the "catdog" is cute and frees it from it's cage. The creature immediately runs off, heading for the stairs to Level 1 (where we had just come from). We head the opposite direction. More raiders come running down the stairs. David Hasslehoff is leading them. I notice Justin Bieber, Jeff Dunham, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Hugh Jackman among Hoff's group. Dunham has Achmed the Dead Terrorist with him.

	"GREETINGS, INFIDELS", I hear Achmed shout. My team and I head further down Level 2 and I notice the Master Sword from the "Legend of Zelda" games on a table in a room. As we enter the room, I notice a bunch of items and weapons from different video games are in the room.  I walk over to the LOZ stuff and pick up a bunch of mouse-shaped objects.

	"What are those?", Diego asks.

	"Bombchus", I explain, "Homing bombs shaped like mice. They might come in handy". I place the bombchus inside Dora's backpack (in retrospect, I shoulda brought a backpack of my own to the raid). Dora walks over to what appears to be a big white hand or glove and begins examining it. the hand/glove suddenly comes to life and begins flying around the room. Then, it begins shooting lasers from its "fingers".

	"That's the Master Hand. The final boss in most Smash bros. games" I explain. I quickly realize the Master Hand is attacking us. Swiper grabs the LOZ hookshot and shoots across the room, narrowly dodging the Master Hand. I decide to forgo using a video game weapon, and aim the bazooka I obtained earlier at the Master Hand, blasting it through a wall and out of the base. Area 51 guards wearing jetpacks take notice and fly towards us, only to have the Master Hand go after them this time. After watching the master hand chase the jetpack-wearing guards away, we grab more video game weapons and head onward.

	We come to a door marked "Garage #1". In this room, we find vehicles from several areas of pop culture (but no UFOs). I point to one particular car, a black muscle car, and then turn to Hasslehoff

	"Isn't that your car?", I ask him. A pulsating red light appears on the black car, which happens to be KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand). Hoff quickly jumps in the driver's seat. Bieber, Dunham, Dwayne, and Hugh climb into KITT as well. I spot another car that piques my interest: a souped-up DeLorean. I jump in this car's driver's seat, and the rest of my team climbs into the Delorean behind me. Hoff drives KITT out of the room and up a ramp to Level 3, with us in the Delorean right behind him.

	"Two levels of Area 51 down and no aliens yet aside from Pokemon and that Catdog thing", Dora remarks, "I wonder how far we will have to go to find any".

	"Hold that thought", I add. KITT has come to a stop in front of a large open room. A large purple humanoid creature is chained up inside it. On a table nearby is a large golden glove with gemstones inserted into it. I stop the Delorean right behind KITT.

	"We just found Thanos", I point out. I quickly grab the Infinity Gauntlet off the table and stuff it into Dora's backpack. Diego uses the Master Sword to slice Thanos's chains. Thanos stomps angrily out of the room. We climb back into the Delorean.

	"Where's my Infinity Gauntlet?", Thanos demands. He brings his fist down on KITT's hood. The supercar isn't even scratched, but Hoff is angry. Before he can react, Dwayne climbs out of KITT and tackles Thanos, delivering his powerful Rock Bottom wrestling move to the Mad Titan. I steer the Delorean around KITT and continue across Level 3.

	We come to two doors, each with a different insignia on it: one is the Autobot symbol, the other is the Decepticon symbol.

	"These people are nuts if they're keeping Transformers locked up in here", Swiper remarks. He barges in through the door with the Decepticon insignia.

	"Swiper, that's where the Decepticons are. The Autobots are through the other door", Dora warns. Swiper comes running back out of the room. A huge silver-white robot is chasing him.

	"Megatron!, I yell. Then, KITT comes racing towards us with Thanos on his tail. Megatron aims his blaster at Thanos, but misses and blasts a hole in the wall. there's now a "ramp" leading up to the surface outside of the base. Hoff steers KITT into the Autobot room's door as Megatron and Thanos clash. We climb back into the Delorean. Area 51 guards are beginning to march down the makeshift ramp.

	"If we dont get out of here, we'll either get shot or squashed", Swiper worries.

	"Then, its time to time travel. Better to head for the future than the past". I suggest. I gun the engine and shoot forward aiming for the ramp. Guards leap out of my way as the Delorean picks up speed and light starts flashing around it. Right after it shoots up the ramp, we leave 2019 and arrive in 2030 (I had just randomly entered a future date into the flux capacitor).

	I believe that brings us to the present. Dora, Diego, Swiper, and I are preparing to return to 2019, though. We know Hasslehoff survived the raid because he got elected president. I'm curious to know what happened to the rest of his team. Dora pointed out that our exploration of Area 51 was only halfway done. Area 51 has 6 levels and we only reached level 3. Not wanting to leave an exploration unfinished, we climb into the Delorean. I set it to takes us back to right after we left for 2030 (best not to arrive in the past at a point when we were still there. Don't wanna cause any paradoxes or anything). After gathering a few supplies (I have my own backpack this time), we take off for 2019.


Part 2: Return Trip

	We arrive at Area 51 in 2019 exactly one hour after we left. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and John Cena have joined up with Hasslehoff's team and Optimus Prime is fighting with Megatron. Thanos has been knocked unconscious for the moment. We decide to leave the Autobots and Decepticons alone and head directly down to Level 4. Hasslehoff sees us return from the future and follows right behind us.

	The first room we stop at on Level 4 contains an Omnitrix and several aliens we recognize as being from the Omnitrix. Dora straps on the Omnitrix while Diego uses the Master Sword to free all the aliens. A big, red alien with four arms gives each of us a handshake at the same time, then leads the other aliens out of the room and up the stairs to level 3. A few rooms later, we find a green humanoid creature who says his name is Shrek. We free him as well. Thanos arrives on Level 4 just as Shrek is freed, and Shrek brawls with Thanos while we head onward. Seeing nothing else interesting on Level 4, we head down to level 5.

	"That Thanos guy is following us. Maybe he wants that wierd golden glove we found in the room they were holding him in", Dora suggests.

	"The last thing we want is for him to get the Infinity Gauntlet", I tell her. The first thing we notice on Level 5 is a door with a big "Danger" sign on it. Hasslehoff drives KITT into said door, knocking it off its hinges. We notice what appears to be a raccoon and a tree chained up in this room. Dora turns into XLR8 (a speedy alien  resembling a blue lizard) and frees the raccoon and tree. Both of them begin moving around.

	"I am Groot" the tree says, and I realize it is actually a tree-like alien.

	"Yeah. yeah. Groot says thanks for busting us outta here", the Raccoon adds. It must be an alien too.

	"You're Welcome", I reply.

	"My name's Rocket", the Raccoon explains, "C'mon Groot, let's go bust some heads". The two of them high-tail it out of the room. We follow them out of the room and find Thanos rushing towards us. As he lunges at me, Thanos is suddenly stopped by something from behind. the Catdog from earlier has caught up to us, and its dog end has latched its teeth onto Thanos's butt. While Thanos tries his best to shake the Catdog off, we notice several hangars containing UFOs as we rush down Level 5 to the stairs to Level 6. The last one contains what appears to be a small Death Star. Dora, Diego, and I obtain Lightsabers from this room and take a second to destroy the Death Star (cuz its best not to leave it intact), with Dora turning into a blue creature made of diamond-like crystals and aiming crystal projectiles into the Death Star. As the Death Star explodes, We head down to Level 6, the lowest level of Area 51.

	Level 6 seems to be almost entirely comprised of hangars. We find a room where a male human, green-skinned woman, and buff male humanoid are being held.

	"Those 3 are friends of ours", Rocket explains. He and Groot caught up to us. With them is a young boy and girl, the boy having brunette hair, while the girl has blonde hair.

	"These two are Jack and Annie. They met up with us as we were headed down here to Level 6. The 3 individuals chained up in this room here are Star-Lord, Gamora, and Drax. Together with Groot and I, we are the Guardians of the Galaxy", Rocket explains. I use my lightsaber to free the other 3 Guardians.

	"Good. Now let's find my spaceship and blow this taco stand", Star-Lord remarks. Jack and Annie head into one of the hangars, where I notice a tree house, which seems out-of-place in an aircraft hangar. Star-Lord identifies the spaceship into this hangar as his. Catdog suddenly runs into the room, with Thanos right behind them. I notice Thanos has a lightsaber, so I face him in a lightsaber duel. As we fight, Thanos and I end up inside the tree house. Jack and Annie follow us. As our lightsaber battle continues, Thanos begins to overpower me.

	"I wish we were somewhere roomier, like the Outback. its hard to fight in here", I remark. Heavy wind starts blowing, seemingly from out of no where. Thanos and I are forced to shield our eyes from it. When the wind stops blowing, the tree house is on top of a mountain in the middle of no where. I quickly recognize the mountain as Ayers Rock, which is in the middle of the Australian Outback. Jack and Annie start to say something, but Thanos lunges at me again. Using my lightsaber, I parry Thanos and fling him off the side of the mountain.

	"I wish we were back in Area 51", I hear Annie say, and the wind starts blowing again. Starting to figure out what's happening, I jump back into the tree house. Moments later, we're back in the area 51 hangar with Star-Lord's spaceship.

	"This tree house is some kind of teleporter", I point out.

	"Actually, it's magic", Jack corrects me, "My sister and I were sent by a lady named Morgan to find something called the Infinity Gauntlet, and bring it to her in Camelot for safe keeping". I retrieve the Infinity Gauntlet from Dora's backpack and hand it to Jack and Annie. After I step out of the tree house, the two of them make another wish and the tree house vanishes in a gust of wind. Right after the tree house vanishes, the ground begins shaking.

	"The whole base is coming down. Something big must've happened upstairs", Star-Lord suggests. He quickly gets his spaceship up and running. Everyone climbs into the Delorean and heads up the ramp into the spaceship, with KITT right behind us. Star-Lord begins geeking out when he sees Hasslehoff and KITT get on board his spaceship. Rocket jumps into the pilot's seat while Star-Lord converses with Hasslehoff. Catdog and Shrek manage to climb on board just before the ship takes off. We fly up to Level 5, then Level 4, then level 3. Guards and other raiders are still running about. as we make it outside, I notice the tank that Burt Gummer had been driving. We stop and beam Burt up. The base itself is crumbling and I notice Autobots, Decepticons, Godzilla, and the aliens from the Omnitrix amongst the raiders and guards.

	"Looks like this place is about to descend into chaos", Rocket remarks, "Perfect time for us to GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE". With that, he turns the ship upward and we leave the Earth behind.