the new romantic2

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INDOXXI
Support dengan like & share :)

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Subtitles by explosiveskull

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When my dad
saw my mom for the first time,

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there was no witty bio
accompanying a flattering

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yet candid photo of her.

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She was just sitting on
the bleachers on campus.

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And he knew right
there and then

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that he was going
to marry her.

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Because of that story
combined with an unhealthy binge

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of Nora Ephron movies when
I had mono in high school,

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I always wondered what
my love story would be.

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Playing foosball
in a shitty diner

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with a college
bro from Tinder

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wasn't exactly
what I had in mind.

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Do you have any siblings?

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00:01:12,171 --> 00:01:15,272
I bet you if
Harry met Sally in 2018

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That was fun.

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They'd just end
up as fuck buddies.

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You wanna come over?

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I can't.

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I'm not
gonna think you're a slut

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or whatever.

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I wasn't concerned
about that,

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but thank you.

24
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Well then, what is it?

25
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I just don't wanna
have sex with you right now.

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Okay, but like,

27
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not right now or,
like, generally?

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Do I wanna have sex
with you generally?

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Yeah.

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Poor college guys.

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God bless them.

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But they're so busy
trying to catch up on what

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misconduct is,

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they don't even know
how to go on a date.

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It's time to say goodbye
to grand gestures.

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The grandest it gets these
days is swiping right

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instead of left.

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As your local
hopeless romantic,

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I am sad to report

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that romance is dead.

41
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Romance is dead.

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Yup.

43
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Okay, um, I'm gonna
kill your column.

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What? Why?

45
00:02:22,473 --> 00:02:24,274
Because your love
life is boring!

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That's not my fault!

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I am trying really
hard out there.

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Hey, I personally really
like the existential crisis

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with the philosophy major.

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Thanks, Winnie.

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It's a good column!

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It's just niche.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Plus, it gives the
paper a female edge.

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Hm. Female, maybe.

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Edge, absolutely not.

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Your column is about as
far away from the edge

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as a kid scared of heights.

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Good simile, Jacob.

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Alright, guys, stop fighting.

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I'm putting you
on reviews.

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That's what
you're doing now.

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The Jessers and Naples are
playing, uh, at the Cavern,

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so go and tell me how it is.

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So that's it?

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I'm sorry!

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I'm sorry that the student
body has lost interest

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in your love life.

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It kinda feels like maybe
you've lost interest

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in your own love life,
to be perfectly frank.

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I can make it better.

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I am gonna do something
really awesome.

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Yeah, you are.

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In reviews.

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00:03:13,658 --> 00:03:14,924
Maybe you're a critic!

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Maybe that's your thing.
Sit down, please.

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- Winnie?
- Mhm?

78
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Got something for you, LSD.

79
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The mice in our labs
are being tested on

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00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:22,566
by the med students.

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Animal rights people are gonna
be fucking nuts about this.

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So maybe we write
something about that.

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Such a waste of LSD.

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To me.

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That-that
could be something!

86
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That could be something.

87
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Hey, it's not
This American Life,

88
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but it's something.

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LSD, that's our target.

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Monday, see you
guys all then.

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I am going to the bar.

92
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Without my column,

93
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I'm just another
Humanities major!

94
00:03:44,289 --> 00:03:47,092
I am facing years of rejection
from unpaid internships.

95
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Come to Thailand with me!

96
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,661
We need to find ourselves.

97
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I am not going to find
myself on a mushroom trip

98
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at a full moon party.

99
00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,934
That's literally
where you find yourself.

100
00:03:57,936 --> 00:03:59,335
Well, is there
a student loan

101
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that can pay for my
flight to this party

102
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:03,343
where I miraculously
find myself?

103
00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:06,776
If they said
your column was boring

104
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:08,781
just make your
column less boring.

105
00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,815
It's not that boring.

106
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It's not.

107
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You write a sex
column with no sex.

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I do stuff.

109
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You've given,
like, one hand-job

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in the last year to...

111
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,966
Who was it, again?

112
00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:31,737
The Spanish exchange student.

113
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God, he was really hot.

114
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No, he wasn't.

115
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He was really intense.

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He was gross.

117
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I feel like there
was a lot of potential

118
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with the philosophy major.

119
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No.

120
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He has tiny fingers.

121
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He'd hold a beer like this,

122
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like a baby holding a bottle.

123
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That's gross.

124
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I.D.?

125
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I need to see your I.D.

126
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Okay.

127
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A knight in shining
armour isn't gonna come

128
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:07,536
galloping into the frat party
and ask you to the ball.

129
00:05:07,538 --> 00:05:08,774
He might.

130
00:05:09,574 --> 00:05:11,608
Can I just pay for this now?

131
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Chill.

132
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Excuse me?

133
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We were here first.

134
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What are you twelve?

135
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What are you?

136
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Forty?

137
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I.D.?
What?

138
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Thirty?

139
00:05:20,552 --> 00:05:22,385
Oh, I found it!

140
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I like your coat.

141
00:05:23,788 --> 00:05:25,057
Thanks.

142
00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,060
Okay, let's go.

143
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Can I get some rolling
papers, too, please?

144
00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:32,064
6X?

145
00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:25,882
So what's the
deal with this band?

146
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I heard the lead
guitarist is pretty!

147
00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:31,687
Him and his man-bun were in
my Intro to Psych class.

148
00:06:31,689 --> 00:06:33,289
I swear, if I'd had
a pair of scissors,

149
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I would've cut the thing off.

150
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:36,692
- Hi.
- How are you?

151
00:06:36,694 --> 00:06:37,694
I.D's.

152
00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,198
Of course, obviously.

153
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:41,701
- It's candy.
- Uh oh. Yeah

154
00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:44,868
Should've saved
ya a little lick.

155
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:45,868
Bring enough to share around?

156
00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:46,870
I'm kidding.

157
00:06:46,872 --> 00:06:49,206
Depends on how
the night goes.

158
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:51,210
I'm just kidding,
we're not doing that.

159
00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:56,378
Yeah, that isn't you.

160
00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,880
What're
you talking about?

161
00:06:57,882 --> 00:06:58,882
Of course it's me!

162
00:06:58,884 --> 00:06:59,983
Yeah? What's your name?

163
00:06:59,985 --> 00:07:01,521
Blake Conway
Wrong.

164
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:04,521
Uh, that's weird.

165
00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:05,525
That is weird.

166
00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:13,730
Oh yeah, that's fine!
You're okay?

167
00:07:13,732 --> 00:07:14,697
Yeah, that's fine.
You go in.

168
00:07:14,699 --> 00:07:15,699
You're sure?

169
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:16,899
I would be thrilled.

170
00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:19,034
I'll figure out
where my I.D. went.

171
00:07:19,036 --> 00:07:20,202
Good luck.

172
00:07:20,204 --> 00:07:22,942
Yeah, I'llI'll
find you somehow.

173
00:07:24,742 --> 00:07:25,742
Sorry!

174
00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,547
Can you write my review?

175
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:00,743
Hello?

176
00:08:00,745 --> 00:08:02,548
Hi, um, Morgan?

177
00:08:03,615 --> 00:08:04,613
Yeah?

178
00:08:04,615 --> 00:08:06,615
Um, I have your
driver's licence.

179
00:08:06,617 --> 00:08:08,485
I think that you have mine.

180
00:08:08,487 --> 00:08:09,652
What?

181
00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:11,587
I have your driver's licence.

182
00:08:24,802 --> 00:08:25,801
Hi.

183
00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:27,739
Hey, uh, this is yours.

184
00:08:28,807 --> 00:08:29,809
Oh!

185
00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:32,142
Weird.

186
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:34,076
I think they switched
them at the liquor store.

187
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,614
Oh, that's funny.

188
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,316
Come in.

189
00:08:40,118 --> 00:08:41,420
This is Bobby.

190
00:08:42,754 --> 00:08:44,820
He's not a very good dancer.

191
00:08:44,822 --> 00:08:46,022
That's not true.

192
00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:47,190
Hi.

193
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,824
Hi, how's your night?

194
00:08:48,826 --> 00:08:50,026
Uh, good, thank you.

195
00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,493
Good.

196
00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:52,764
Good.

197
00:08:57,201 --> 00:08:58,200
Here you go.

198
00:08:58,202 --> 00:08:59,471
Thank you.

199
00:09:00,004 --> 00:09:01,871
You should stay.

200
00:09:01,873 --> 00:09:03,205
For a drink.

201
00:09:03,207 --> 00:09:05,842
The universe brought
us all together.

202
00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:07,647
Gotta embrace that, right?

203
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:10,647
Okay, sure.

204
00:09:10,649 --> 00:09:11,650
I'll have a drink.

205
00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:13,819
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

206
00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:20,022
Do you have to pee?

207
00:09:20,024 --> 00:09:21,293
I have to pee.

208
00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,163
I could pee.

209
00:09:26,865 --> 00:09:28,067
Yeah, let's pee.

210
00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:31,137
Team sport?

211
00:09:43,081 --> 00:09:44,748
You're really pretty.

212
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,849
Do you know that?

213
00:09:46,851 --> 00:09:48,853
I feel like you
don't know that.

214
00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:50,889
Thanks.

215
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,493
It's important for a girl
to know how pretty she is.

216
00:09:55,693 --> 00:09:56,693
Why?

217
00:09:56,695 --> 00:09:58,497
Because that's
how you find them.

218
00:09:59,063 --> 00:10:00,332
Find what?

219
00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:07,706
Your powers.

220
00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,513
He'll pay you to stay.

221
00:10:15,746 --> 00:10:17,280
Oh, I'm

222
00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:18,748
Oh, or you don't have
to take money, or anything.

223
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,783
I know some girls
are weird with that.

224
00:10:20,785 --> 00:10:22,986
No, um, I'm sorry.

225
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:23,987
I'm not

226
00:10:23,989 --> 00:10:24,990
Not what?

227
00:10:26,323 --> 00:10:27,759
A prostitute.

228
00:10:29,794 --> 00:10:34,397
I'm not
a prostitute, babe.

229
00:10:34,399 --> 00:10:36,402
I'm just trying to
cut you into a deal.

230
00:10:37,969 --> 00:10:38,971
It'll be fun.

231
00:10:40,105 --> 00:10:41,740
You don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.

232
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:44,940
I don't think I can.

233
00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:46,745
I have early class
in the morning.

234
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:49,981
I get it!

235
00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:52,784
It's not for everyone.

236
00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:56,489
Come on.

237
00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:01,192
Miss me?

238
00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,792
I always miss you, babe.

239
00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:04,796
Okay, thanks!

240
00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:07,997
Yeah, bye!

241
00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:09,999
Bye.

242
00:11:10,802 --> 00:11:12,801
How'd you get so warm?

243
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,829
You should've stayed.

244
00:11:39,831 --> 00:11:41,030
Yeah, I totally
should've stayed

245
00:11:41,032 --> 00:11:42,802
and had sex with two
strangers for some cash.

246
00:11:43,301 --> 00:11:45,033
Was she a sugar baby?

247
00:11:45,035 --> 00:11:47,536
They're fucking
everywhere these days.

248
00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:48,537
Really?

249
00:11:48,539 --> 00:11:50,039
Mm.

250
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,041
School's so fucking
expensive, that's why.

251
00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:52,908
Makes sense.

252
00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,844
That's really sad.

253
00:11:56,847 --> 00:11:57,980
Anyone want coffee?

254
00:11:57,982 --> 00:11:58,982
I wanna dance.

255
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,349
Hey, you got scissors?

256
00:12:00,351 --> 00:12:01,886
Yeah, somewhere.

257
00:12:02,553 --> 00:12:04,052
Young girls are
prostituting themselves

258
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:05,088
to pay for school.

259
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,689
You're so dramatic.

260
00:12:06,691 --> 00:12:08,060
It is dramatic!

261
00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:12,328
I think hookers
are kinda badass.

262
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:14,333
Yeah, hookers are
super badass, Nikki.

263
00:12:15,066 --> 00:12:16,166
They're in charge
of their own bodies!

264
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,368
Their pimps are in
charge of their bodies.

265
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:19,868
Oh, yeah.

266
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:22,070
I totally forgot
about the pimps.

267
00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:23,071
Well, if there
were no pimps,

268
00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:24,541
then hookers
would be badass.

269
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,908
Sugar babies don't have pimps.

270
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,946
Well, then sugar
babies are badass.

271
00:12:29,346 --> 00:12:31,350
Something interesting
happened to me!

272
00:12:32,082 --> 00:12:33,348
Oh, really? Good.

273
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,883
I want my column back.

274
00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:36,084
Oh, you want your
column back?

275
00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:38,387
Uh, did you even
go to the concert?

276
00:12:38,389 --> 00:12:39,388
Your review?

277
00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:40,890
You didn't even
mention the music.

278
00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:43,696
You just described people
in line for two paragraphs.

279
00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:45,361
I was totally there.

280
00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:46,362
Oh, yeah.

281
00:12:46,364 --> 00:12:48,131
Well, look, it looks
like you got their facts

282
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:49,531
off of Instagram.

283
00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:52,901
The last two lines were
just hashtags and gibberish.

284
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:54,903
You are so out of touch.

285
00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,908
All we really care
about are hashtags.

286
00:12:58,109 --> 00:12:59,142
Oh, I'm out of touch?

287
00:12:59,144 --> 00:13:00,142
Am I like a fossil?

288
00:13:00,144 --> 00:13:01,143
I'm 23 years old!

289
00:13:01,145 --> 00:13:02,411
By the way, 23

290
00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:04,414
is perfectly fine age
to still be in college.

291
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:05,915
Winnie!

292
00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:06,916
There you go!
Oh my god!

293
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:08,117
- Is this for me?
- Yeah!

294
00:13:08,119 --> 00:13:09,118
Look at that!

295
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,118
She's so good.

296
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,119
You made him that?

297
00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:13,122
Yeah!

298
00:13:13,124 --> 00:13:14,123
We are not your interns!

299
00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:15,123
Aren't you?

300
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,124
I am not an intern!

301
00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:17,128
I'm a foam artist.

302
00:13:17,928 --> 00:13:19,762
Hey, man, I just
wanted to say to you,

303
00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:23,166
I really, really loved what you
did with the Plan B article.

304
00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:24,499
Oh, yeah!
It's so refreshing

305
00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:25,234
to have a male perspective
on birth control.

306
00:13:25,236 --> 00:13:26,236
Oh, thank you!

307
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:27,570
Thank you, man,
I appreciate that!

308
00:13:27,572 --> 00:13:29,137
I'm totally down to
write your reference letter

309
00:13:29,139 --> 00:13:30,138
for the Thompson Award.
Oh, really?

310
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,943
- Thank you!
- No problem.

311
00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:35,143
Wait, you're applying
to that award?

312
00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:36,147
Yeah.

313
00:13:37,148 --> 00:13:38,414
You don't write gonzo.

314
00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:41,416
You write pretentious
political satire.

315
00:13:41,418 --> 00:13:44,119
Actually,
I write both.

316
00:13:44,121 --> 00:13:45,121
Stephen Hawking.

317
00:13:45,123 --> 00:13:46,122
- Good!
- Thank you.

318
00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:47,757
Since when?

319
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:49,961
Since I don't only
write for the school paper, so.

320
00:13:51,162 --> 00:13:53,161
You can't write him
a reference letter.

321
00:13:53,163 --> 00:13:54,162
You're not a faculty member.

322
00:13:54,164 --> 00:13:55,433
He's TA, it counts.

323
00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,166
Well, can you write
me a reference letter?

324
00:14:02,173 --> 00:14:04,607
This looks like a
conflict of interest.

325
00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:06,110
Hard pass, thanks.

326
00:14:07,144 --> 00:14:09,177
The Thompson Award is
for gonzo journalism?

327
00:14:09,179 --> 00:14:10,512
Yeah, and?

328
00:14:10,514 --> 00:14:12,248
And you don't write gonzo,

329
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,383
so you just want it
for the prize money?

330
00:14:14,385 --> 00:14:16,486
Oh, right, and you don't
want the prize money at all?

331
00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:17,487
No, I do.

332
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:18,488
It's fifty thousand dollars.

333
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,256
That's the only reason
why I'm applying.

334
00:14:20,258 --> 00:14:21,259
Story ideas!

335
00:14:22,059 --> 00:14:23,228
His, thank you!

336
00:14:24,195 --> 00:14:26,061
If the writer is
a part of the story,

337
00:14:26,063 --> 00:14:27,430
then it is gonzo.

338
00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:29,098
The writer can't be
a part of the story.

339
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,903
The writer has to
become the story!

340
00:14:31,235 --> 00:14:33,268
Well, it's like
those vice journalists

341
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:34,903
who did ayahuasca in Peru.

342
00:14:34,905 --> 00:14:35,939
- Oh!
- Yeah!

343
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:36,940
I loved that writing!

344
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,273
That was so sick!

345
00:14:38,275 --> 00:14:40,910
My stories are about me!

346
00:14:40,912 --> 00:14:42,844
So you're the type of writer
that writes about people

347
00:14:42,846 --> 00:14:44,680
describing doing ayahuasca?

348
00:14:44,682 --> 00:14:46,081
Like, you wouldn't
actually do it yourself?

349
00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,886
I would totally do ayahuasca.

350
00:14:50,054 --> 00:14:51,753
If there wasn't
so much puking.

351
00:14:51,755 --> 00:14:54,290
See, you're an omniscient
narrator in denial.

352
00:14:54,292 --> 00:14:55,525
That doesn't
even mean anything.

353
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:57,859
You just like the
way that that sounds.

354
00:14:57,861 --> 00:14:59,295
I have a story,

355
00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:01,531
and-and it is a sexy story,

356
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,733
so all of those
horny college kids

357
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:04,733
are really gonna like it.

358
00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:06,069
And when you read it,

359
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,204
you're gonna wanna
give me my column back.

360
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:10,209
So, get ready because...

361
00:15:12,309 --> 00:15:15,046
Of all of the things
that I just said!

362
00:15:19,149 --> 00:15:21,283
Oh, well that's over.

363
00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:22,285
What is love?

364
00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:23,788
What is it good for?

365
00:15:44,609 --> 00:15:46,108
I can change
your name for the piece,

366
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,310
if you want me to.

367
00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:49,315
Why would I want you
to change my name?

368
00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:53,252
Well, my column is
anonymous anyway, so.

369
00:15:54,318 --> 00:15:55,318
Why?

370
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,122
It gives me more freedom.

371
00:15:58,822 --> 00:16:00,422
Doesn't sound
like freedom.

372
00:16:00,424 --> 00:16:04,262
It just makes it easier
to write sometimes.

373
00:16:07,831 --> 00:16:09,134
Okay.

374
00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:14,337
I have made sixty-seven
thousand dollars in gifts.

375
00:16:14,339 --> 00:16:16,339
I've gotten a Gucci bag,

376
00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:18,174
a Balenciaga bag,

377
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:19,541
a Louis Vuitton bag.

378
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,547
I've gone to Paris
twice this year.

379
00:16:23,014 --> 00:16:24,147
Whoa.

380
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,982
Am I a prostitute?

381
00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,219
No.

382
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:29,388
Am I a gold digger?

383
00:16:30,154 --> 00:16:31,521
Maybe.

384
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:34,456
Am I having a better
time than all these girls

385
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,658
stuck in mountains of debt?

386
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,460
Who get nothing more
than a pregnancy scare

387
00:16:38,462 --> 00:16:39,462
from their one night stands?

388
00:16:39,464 --> 00:16:41,000
Most definitely.

389
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,366
Oh, here.

390
00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:44,636
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.

391
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,645
Do you ever feel
taken advantage of?

392
00:16:58,383 --> 00:17:00,185
Not really, it's business.

393
00:17:01,385 --> 00:17:02,887
Business can be messy.

394
00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:05,057
Yeah, but

395
00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:06,658
I'm really good at it.

396
00:17:08,226 --> 00:17:09,225
How?

397
00:17:09,227 --> 00:17:11,030
I know what they want.

398
00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:12,898
And what is that?

399
00:17:14,398 --> 00:17:15,363
Their ego stroked.

400
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,841
You just have to figure out

401
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,676
how they work.

402
00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:30,412
And once you do, you can
get whatever you want.

403
00:17:30,414 --> 00:17:31,916
And what do you want?

404
00:17:34,251 --> 00:17:36,288
Everything, I guess.

405
00:17:38,455 --> 00:17:39,889
You know, I'm actually
going to meet Bobby

406
00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:42,225
at his friend's lake house.

407
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,459
You wanna come?

408
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:45,230
Sounds like the beginning
of a horror movie.

409
00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:17,795
So how do you know Bobby?

410
00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:20,997
Oh, he was one of
my MBA students.

411
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,698
You're a professor?

412
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,503
Yeah, is that surprising?

413
00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:26,568
No.

414
00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:28,304
I guess I've just
never seen a prof

415
00:18:28,306 --> 00:18:29,771
in a bathing suit before.

416
00:18:29,773 --> 00:18:30,773
Here you go.

417
00:18:30,775 --> 00:18:32,007
Thanks.

418
00:18:32,009 --> 00:18:33,311
What's your major?

419
00:18:34,511 --> 00:18:35,780
Useless.

420
00:18:40,351 --> 00:18:41,620
So are you gonna get in?

421
00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:44,123
Uh, I didn't bring
a bathing suit.

422
00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,390
Well, I don't
wanna leave you

423
00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:49,324
on dry land all
by yourself.

424
00:18:49,326 --> 00:18:50,328
Why?

425
00:18:51,028 --> 00:18:53,528
I can rate your
handstands out of ten.

426
00:18:53,530 --> 00:18:55,163
Yeah.

427
00:18:55,165 --> 00:18:56,565
I think you
can tell a lot about a person

428
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:59,371
by the way they
get into a pool.

429
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:01,804
He didn't dive,

430
00:19:01,806 --> 00:19:03,538
so not a show off.

431
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:05,309
I guess the view and the
house did that for him.

432
00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:08,044
You should come in!

433
00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:10,046
I'm not usually
one to be tempted by houses,

434
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,546
or views, or pools.

435
00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:14,217
He was hot and I was stoned.

436
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,552
Uh, I don't know.

437
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:16,553
And there
was something about him

438
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,187
that I couldn't
put my finger on.

439
00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:20,555
So, what the hell?

440
00:19:20,557 --> 00:19:21,826
I went in.

441
00:19:35,573 --> 00:19:37,573
So what's your story?

442
00:19:52,589 --> 00:19:55,091
Uh, I'd like to
see you again.

443
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,394
Oh.

444
00:19:57,528 --> 00:19:59,530
If that's something
that you wanted.

445
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:01,599
Here's my card.

446
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:03,565
I didn't know people actually

447
00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:04,967
carried around business cards.

448
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:07,103
I mean,
I didn't have it on me

449
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,638
in the pool or anything.

450
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,640
I have a stack and I just

451
00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,607
I like this font.

452
00:20:12,609 --> 00:20:14,543
Yeah it's DIN Condensed.

453
00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:15,644
Nice.

454
00:20:15,646 --> 00:20:16,711
Yeah.

455
00:20:16,713 --> 00:20:18,447
Thanks.

456
00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:19,448
This is pretty

457
00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:21,987
Pretty sweet too.

458
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:29,458
He's into arrangements.

459
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:30,996
I could say something.

460
00:20:32,596 --> 00:20:33,828
Please don't.

461
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,634
He's written like five books.

462
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:37,435
Really?

463
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,471
What about?

464
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,307
I don't know.
I haven't read them.

465
00:20:52,282 --> 00:20:53,582
Yeah.

466
00:20:53,584 --> 00:20:54,917
Yeah Blake, I like it.

467
00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:56,651
I like it.
It's very Zeitgeisty.

468
00:20:56,653 --> 00:20:58,286
So can I have
my column back?

469
00:20:58,288 --> 00:21:01,093
So, uh, you gonna
date this guy?

470
00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:03,292
No.

471
00:21:03,294 --> 00:21:04,660
So-so, I'm sorry,

472
00:21:04,662 --> 00:21:06,161
where is this story going?

473
00:21:06,163 --> 00:21:07,496
I don't know how
my life is going to evolve

474
00:21:07,498 --> 00:21:08,631
between now and
my next entry.

475
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:09,664
That's not how
a column works.

476
00:21:09,666 --> 00:21:11,633
Well how journalism works is

477
00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:13,302
you-you follow the story,

478
00:21:13,304 --> 00:21:14,503
not your feelings.

479
00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,037
I followed her to a
stranger's lake house.

480
00:21:16,039 --> 00:21:17,038
I could have been murdered.

481
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,507
I'm sorry.

482
00:21:18,509 --> 00:21:20,508
'Cause it sort of read like
you went to a pool party.

483
00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:21,876
Where I was solicited!

484
00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:23,679
You got hit on.

485
00:21:23,681 --> 00:21:26,282
Uh, being solicited
is not the story.

486
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:27,519
'Kay? It's just
the first part.

487
00:21:28,385 --> 00:21:30,186
What happens afterwards,
that's the story.

488
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:31,990
Are you trying
to pimp me out?

489
00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:35,123
Um, am I? No.

490
00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:37,392
No, III wanted to
kill your column.

491
00:21:37,394 --> 00:21:39,061
You're the-you're the one who
wanted to make it interesting.

492
00:21:39,063 --> 00:21:41,130
It's going to be
more interesting.

493
00:21:41,132 --> 00:21:43,899
Whether or not you force
me to date the guy.

494
00:21:43,901 --> 00:21:45,401
Oh, ho ho, no, I forced

495
00:21:45,403 --> 00:21:47,702
I'm not forcing you
to date anyone, okay?

496
00:21:47,704 --> 00:21:49,572
But you are saying you'll
give me back my column

497
00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:50,573
if I date him.

498
00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:51,841
No! No, no, no.

499
00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:53,542
You can not, no, have
the column back, please.

500
00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:54,910
This is not a, not a

501
00:21:54,912 --> 00:21:55,911
This is not a thing,

502
00:21:55,913 --> 00:21:57,278
you can just take it.

503
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,849
I am too close to
graduating for this shit.

504
00:21:59,851 --> 00:22:02,054
I'm not going out like that.

505
00:22:06,590 --> 00:22:08,790
The hopeless
romantic is back baby!

506
00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:11,227
More hopeful, less romantic.

507
00:22:11,229 --> 00:22:12,561
That's awesome, dude.

508
00:22:12,563 --> 00:22:13,629
Yeah, thanks.

509
00:22:13,631 --> 00:22:15,434
I feel like I've grown
from this already.

510
00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:17,767
Your professor sounds hot.

511
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:21,136
Hmm, he's not hot hot,

512
00:22:21,138 --> 00:22:22,805
but he is kinda charming.

513
00:22:22,807 --> 00:22:24,076
So, he's fat?

514
00:22:24,942 --> 00:22:26,211
He's not fat.

515
00:22:27,444 --> 00:22:28,978
He's basically famous.

516
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:32,148
He's written a
bunch of books

517
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:35,584
for like technology
and business.

518
00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:36,786
So he's boring?

519
00:22:36,788 --> 00:22:37,788
He's rich.

520
00:22:38,256 --> 00:22:39,889
He invested in
Facebook and Uber

521
00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:41,891
when they were
just starting.

522
00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:43,793
So why aren't you
going to call him again?

523
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,827
So why aren't you
more focused on your costume?

524
00:22:45,829 --> 00:22:47,832
The options here are
pretty limitless.

525
00:22:49,066 --> 00:22:50,302
Tadah!

526
00:22:50,768 --> 00:22:51,767
What is that?

527
00:22:51,769 --> 00:22:54,236
It's Sassy Red Riding Hood!

528
00:22:54,238 --> 00:22:55,671
You look like a used tampon.

529
00:22:55,673 --> 00:22:56,671
What?

530
00:22:56,673 --> 00:22:58,477
Your legs are the string.

531
00:22:58,809 --> 00:23:00,776
I'm not lowering
myself to your level.

532
00:23:00,778 --> 00:23:02,780
You're lowering it
to my crotch level.

533
00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:08,083
Sexy gothic Red Riding Hood?

534
00:23:08,085 --> 00:23:09,818
What's wrong with
the shoulders?

535
00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:11,589
You look like you're
storing snacks in there.

536
00:23:12,990 --> 00:23:15,794
Red Riding From The Hood.

537
00:23:17,862 --> 00:23:18,864
No.

538
00:23:19,663 --> 00:23:21,029
Well what are you
supposed to be?

539
00:23:21,031 --> 00:23:23,466
A manic pixie dream girl?

540
00:23:23,468 --> 00:23:24,467
Yeah.

541
00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:25,468
Sure.

542
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:26,701
I still don't understand

543
00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:28,136
why there's a Halloween
party in April.

544
00:23:28,138 --> 00:23:29,440
Oh!

545
00:23:30,106 --> 00:23:32,540
Why didn't they just
call it a costume party?

546
00:23:32,542 --> 00:23:34,346
'Cause then it's
not Halloween.

547
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,682
I'm gonna get
these glasses.

548
00:23:38,715 --> 00:23:40,017
Eh.

549
00:23:51,061 --> 00:23:52,329
Hey Blake!

550
00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:53,731
Hey Emily!

551
00:23:54,298 --> 00:23:56,030
Cool costume.

552
00:23:56,032 --> 00:23:57,799
Are you a ballerina?

553
00:23:57,801 --> 00:23:58,836
A loofah.

554
00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:01,673
You look like my
dad on vacation.

555
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,375
I'm Raoul Duke.

556
00:24:04,741 --> 00:24:06,475
From Fear and Loathing.

557
00:24:06,477 --> 00:24:07,476
Oh!

558
00:24:07,478 --> 00:24:08,712
Oh, yeah, um

559
00:24:09,713 --> 00:24:11,680
I loved your last column.

560
00:24:11,682 --> 00:24:13,582
I don't write a column.

561
00:24:13,584 --> 00:24:14,850
So, whatever.

562
00:24:14,852 --> 00:24:16,086
Okay.

563
00:24:17,521 --> 00:24:19,523
Dr. Phil did an episode
on sugar babies.

564
00:24:20,924 --> 00:24:23,392
Was it a hard hitting expose?

565
00:24:23,394 --> 00:24:24,893
Oh yeah. I love Dr. Phil.

566
00:24:24,895 --> 00:24:27,699
I feel like I have so
many things to tell him.

567
00:24:29,767 --> 00:24:31,199
Yeah.

568
00:24:55,893 --> 00:24:57,927
It appears we have yet
another common interest.

569
00:24:57,929 --> 00:24:58,930
Oh god.

570
00:24:59,596 --> 00:25:01,529
Want to take a shot?

571
00:25:01,531 --> 00:25:02,766
Yes.

572
00:25:05,635 --> 00:25:07,638
I didn't touch
my lips to it.

573
00:25:12,309 --> 00:25:14,742
I didn't take you as
a Hunter Thompson fan.

574
00:25:14,744 --> 00:25:17,779
He's the very godfather
of Gonzo journalism.

575
00:25:17,781 --> 00:25:19,213
Did you just say
fairy godfather?

576
00:25:19,215 --> 00:25:21,316
No. I said very godfather!

577
00:25:21,318 --> 00:25:22,317
No, you said fairy.

578
00:25:22,319 --> 00:25:23,821
Very.
Fairy.

579
00:25:25,455 --> 00:25:27,259
Want to take another shot?

580
00:25:27,924 --> 00:25:29,123
Yeah.

581
00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:31,128
Do you want to go
somewhere private?

582
00:25:34,131 --> 00:25:35,634
You're so dumb.

583
00:25:39,804 --> 00:25:41,603
You know you're
way off about me?

584
00:25:41,605 --> 00:25:42,671
Okay.

585
00:25:42,673 --> 00:25:43,972
I like Hunter Thompson.

586
00:25:43,974 --> 00:25:45,173
Mmm.

587
00:25:45,175 --> 00:25:46,174
He's not my favourite
writer though.

588
00:25:46,176 --> 00:25:47,676
Who's your favourite writer?

589
00:25:47,678 --> 00:25:48,747
Don't tell me!

590
00:25:49,980 --> 00:25:51,113
Jane Austen.

591
00:25:51,115 --> 00:25:52,851
Maybe when I was 15.

592
00:25:53,851 --> 00:25:56,051
It's Nora Ephron.

593
00:25:56,053 --> 00:25:57,856
What is that,
Zac Efron's mom?

594
00:25:58,888 --> 00:26:00,891
She's the queen of
the romantic comedy.

595
00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:03,025
"When Harry Met Sally",

596
00:26:03,027 --> 00:26:04,026
"Sleepless in Seattle"

597
00:26:04,028 --> 00:26:05,827
Okay. I liked those.
Those are good.

598
00:26:05,829 --> 00:26:06,828
I know yours.

599
00:26:06,830 --> 00:26:07,997
I don't have a favourite writer.
Witkowski.

600
00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:09,530
How'd you do that?

601
00:26:09,532 --> 00:26:10,966
You want to take another shot?

602
00:26:10,968 --> 00:26:12,003
Yep.

603
00:26:14,005 --> 00:26:15,004
You okay?

604
00:26:15,006 --> 00:26:16,872
Yeah.

605
00:26:33,156 --> 00:26:35,159
I like your room.
I like it.

606
00:26:36,059 --> 00:26:37,660
That means a lot to me.

607
00:26:37,662 --> 00:26:38,896
Is that weird?

608
00:26:48,071 --> 00:26:49,270
You okay?

609
00:26:49,272 --> 00:26:51,373
Yeah. I'm okay.
Are you okay?

610
00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:52,373
Yeah, no, I'm good.

611
00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:54,179
Okay. You look good.

612
00:27:02,686 --> 00:27:04,254
Do you have a condom?

613
00:27:05,189 --> 00:27:06,458
I think so.

614
00:27:15,598 --> 00:27:16,900
Um

615
00:27:25,142 --> 00:27:27,910
I thought it was
in my pencil case.

616
00:27:27,912 --> 00:27:29,143
Why do you have a pencil case?

617
00:27:29,145 --> 00:27:30,714
For pencils.

618
00:27:31,414 --> 00:27:32,951
In case.

619
00:27:40,490 --> 00:27:41,957
Okay.

620
00:27:41,959 --> 00:27:43,961
I don't have a condom.

621
00:28:06,450 --> 00:28:08,253
I should go.

622
00:28:08,986 --> 00:28:11,620
But
this is your room.

623
00:28:11,622 --> 00:28:13,020
Oh.

624
00:28:13,022 --> 00:28:15,524
Well should I go?
Want me to go?

625
00:28:15,526 --> 00:28:16,525
I mean, should I go?

626
00:28:16,527 --> 00:28:18,192
Uh yeah, I think so.

627
00:28:18,194 --> 00:28:19,463
Okay.

628
00:28:29,539 --> 00:28:31,542
Are you wearing my pants?

629
00:28:38,449 --> 00:28:39,448
You can't print it.

630
00:28:39,450 --> 00:28:41,115
You can't not print it.
Can't.

631
00:28:41,117 --> 00:28:43,184
Okay, usually I'm
totally against, uh,

632
00:28:43,186 --> 00:28:45,888
these sort of
workplace romances,

633
00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:47,823
but this is hilarious, Blake.

634
00:28:47,825 --> 00:28:48,990
It's not funny to
me man, alright?

635
00:28:48,992 --> 00:28:50,191
I changed your name!

636
00:28:50,193 --> 00:28:52,227
Nobody is gonna
know that it's you!

637
00:28:52,229 --> 00:28:53,228
- I don't care.
- I do!

638
00:28:53,230 --> 00:28:54,496
You two were the only people

639
00:28:54,498 --> 00:28:56,698
that dressed like Raoul
Duke at the party so.

640
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:57,699
You were there?

641
00:28:57,701 --> 00:28:59,504
Yeah, I have Snapchat.

642
00:29:00,203 --> 00:29:02,571
You were the one who told
me to become the story.

643
00:29:02,573 --> 00:29:03,639
I became the story.

644
00:29:03,641 --> 00:29:04,672
I'm sorry!

645
00:29:04,674 --> 00:29:06,475
I didn't realize you
were so sensitive.

646
00:29:06,477 --> 00:29:09,076
I'm not, sensitive.

647
00:29:09,078 --> 00:29:10,077
I'm private.

648
00:29:10,079 --> 00:29:11,078
I'm not

649
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,046
not like a sensitive dude.

650
00:29:12,048 --> 00:29:13,047
Hey man, I'm sorry,

651
00:29:13,049 --> 00:29:14,315
I'm gonna have to post it.

652
00:29:14,317 --> 00:29:15,651
Why?

653
00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:17,318
Because, uh, for
better or for worse,

654
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:22,024
the hopeless romantic is
dragging in all the hits.

655
00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:23,491
Really?

656
00:29:23,493 --> 00:29:24,860
Keep your shirt on.
You're not winning a Pulitzer.

657
00:29:24,862 --> 00:29:26,929
It's-it's not moving papers.

658
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:28,697
It's just, it's doing
well on the website,

659
00:29:28,699 --> 00:29:32,500
and I have to do what's best
for the paper and or website.

660
00:29:32,502 --> 00:29:35,437
I hope this isn't
awkward between us.

661
00:29:35,439 --> 00:29:38,539
It most certainly
is going to be.

662
00:29:38,541 --> 00:29:40,542
Do you want my advice?

663
00:29:40,544 --> 00:29:43,077
Don't make out
with journalists.

664
00:29:43,079 --> 00:29:44,848
Or Instagram models.

665
00:29:48,285 --> 00:29:50,151
He's arrogant.

666
00:29:50,153 --> 00:29:53,287
He can't stand
that I'm thriving.

667
00:29:53,289 --> 00:29:55,489
It's man problem.
That's what they do.

668
00:29:55,491 --> 00:29:56,592
Can't handle the
strong woman.

669
00:29:56,594 --> 00:29:58,727
He's kinda tall,
so I don't get it.

670
00:29:58,729 --> 00:30:00,461
Is he tall?

671
00:30:00,463 --> 00:30:01,496
Yeah.

672
00:30:01,498 --> 00:30:03,231
Usually short guys
are really insecure.

673
00:30:03,233 --> 00:30:04,498
Little man syndrome?
Yeah!

674
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:05,769
Yeah.

675
00:30:06,903 --> 00:30:09,304
Oh my god, oh my god.

676
00:30:09,306 --> 00:30:10,671
Oh my god,
just keep walking.

677
00:30:10,673 --> 00:30:12,274
Keep walking.

678
00:30:12,276 --> 00:30:13,674
The guy, Ian.

679
00:30:13,676 --> 00:30:15,110
He's over there.
Where? Where?

680
00:30:15,112 --> 00:30:16,745
Oh, no, no, no.
Look to there.

681
00:30:16,747 --> 00:30:17,746
Can you see him?

682
00:30:17,748 --> 00:30:19,284
Do I look cute?

683
00:30:22,586 --> 00:30:24,018
Do I wave, or is that weird?

684
00:30:24,020 --> 00:30:26,023
I don't know.
Oh my god, we waved.

685
00:30:26,423 --> 00:30:28,123
No, don't wave again.

686
00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:29,123
Flash your tit.

687
00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:31,325
No.

688
00:30:41,704 --> 00:30:43,508
Screw it.

689
00:30:46,977 --> 00:30:48,142
If I want to win the award,

690
00:30:48,144 --> 00:30:49,311
I have to do ayahuasca.

691
00:30:49,313 --> 00:30:51,546
Wait, when are
you doing ayahuasca?

692
00:30:51,548 --> 00:30:52,546
I'm not, it's a metaphor.

693
00:30:52,548 --> 00:30:53,715
Because if you do
it without me,

694
00:30:53,717 --> 00:30:56,218
I'm gonna be really pissed.

695
00:30:56,220 --> 00:30:57,221
And surprised.

696
00:30:58,321 --> 00:30:59,823
And hurt.

697
00:31:01,392 --> 00:31:03,025
Eventually I'd be
happy for you.

698
00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:04,660
Again, I'm not gonna do
ayahuasca without you.

699
00:31:04,662 --> 00:31:05,963
Just

700
00:31:07,298 --> 00:31:09,197
make sure he doesn't

701
00:31:09,199 --> 00:31:11,065
take advantage of
you or anything.

702
00:31:11,067 --> 00:31:12,334
Yeah, of course.

703
00:31:12,336 --> 00:31:15,871
If anything, I am the one
taking advantage of him.

704
00:31:15,873 --> 00:31:16,872
How?

705
00:31:16,874 --> 00:31:18,373
Because I'm not
really a sugar baby.

706
00:31:18,375 --> 00:31:21,343
You're actually kinda
like pretty woman.

707
00:31:21,345 --> 00:31:22,846
But in reverse.

708
00:31:23,646 --> 00:31:26,815
Just make me look classy.

709
00:31:26,817 --> 00:31:29,017
Like Michelle Obama.

710
00:31:36,226 --> 00:31:37,495
Hi.

711
00:31:38,228 --> 00:31:40,031
Should we go in?

712
00:31:43,267 --> 00:31:45,834
Why don't you
have a girlfriend?

713
00:31:45,836 --> 00:31:47,235
They're free.

714
00:31:47,237 --> 00:31:49,237
Not really. And,

715
00:31:49,239 --> 00:31:50,439
I don't know
what she wants.

716
00:31:50,441 --> 00:31:52,407
She probably doesn't
even know what she wants.

717
00:31:52,409 --> 00:31:53,441
And I don't want
to spend my time

718
00:31:53,443 --> 00:31:55,445
texting or fighting

719
00:31:56,846 --> 00:31:58,615
or compromising.

720
00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,019
So.

721
00:32:03,921 --> 00:32:06,287
How do you want
this to work?

722
00:32:06,289 --> 00:32:09,123
I don't want
to write cheques

723
00:32:09,125 --> 00:32:10,124
or anything like that.

724
00:32:10,126 --> 00:32:12,294
I kinda wanna give gifts.

725
00:32:12,296 --> 00:32:13,594
Gifts.

726
00:32:13,596 --> 00:32:14,865
Yeah.

727
00:32:16,299 --> 00:32:17,399
Like purses?

728
00:32:17,401 --> 00:32:18,933
Sure.

729
00:32:18,935 --> 00:32:20,938
If that's what
you want. Yeah.

730
00:32:22,638 --> 00:32:24,541
It's not what I want.

731
00:32:26,376 --> 00:32:28,145
I didn't think so.

732
00:32:29,613 --> 00:32:32,383
So, what do you want?

733
00:32:36,487 --> 00:32:37,755
Romance.

734
00:32:41,090 --> 00:32:42,657
Wealthy older people

735
00:32:42,659 --> 00:32:44,625
supporting struggling
younger ones

736
00:32:44,627 --> 00:32:46,094
is nothing revolutionary.

737
00:32:46,096 --> 00:32:48,330
Read any Jane Austen novel.

738
00:32:48,332 --> 00:32:50,332
Granted Austen's
heroines always rebelled

739
00:32:50,334 --> 00:32:53,334
against this concept in
search for romantic love,

740
00:32:53,336 --> 00:32:57,171
but financially beneficial
relationships were the norm.

741
00:32:57,173 --> 00:32:59,908
A female's attraction to a
male's display of resources

742
00:32:59,910 --> 00:33:02,510
is ingrained in many species,

743
00:33:02,512 --> 00:33:05,316
from humans to apes to cats.

744
00:33:06,083 --> 00:33:07,748
Female leopards can actually
tell whether or not a male

745
00:33:07,750 --> 00:33:10,518
is capable of providing
her with what she needs.

746
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,920
If she determines
that he isn't capable

747
00:33:11,922 --> 00:33:14,355
of taking care of her,

748
00:33:14,357 --> 00:33:16,190
she has the ability to
make herself less fertile.

749
00:33:16,192 --> 00:33:17,959
So the question is,

750
00:33:17,961 --> 00:33:20,996
why does our society
hate gold diggers?

751
00:33:20,998 --> 00:33:23,765
Are we repulsed by our
own natural instincts?

752
00:33:23,767 --> 00:33:26,535
Maybe relationships aren't
supposed to be for love,

753
00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:28,338
but for survival.

754
00:33:39,549 --> 00:33:41,016
There's a sound
quality to records

755
00:33:41,018 --> 00:33:44,986
that is completely
lost with CDs or MP3s

756
00:33:44,988 --> 00:33:49,059
or whatever the kids are
listening to these days.

757
00:33:50,059 --> 00:33:52,227
Sometimes I just
like the sound

758
00:33:52,229 --> 00:33:54,930
in between the songs,
you know?

759
00:33:54,932 --> 00:33:56,933
I like the way
that the covers look.

760
00:34:01,571 --> 00:34:02,572
Yeah.

761
00:34:05,776 --> 00:34:08,579
Should have known
you'd be a record guy.

762
00:34:09,947 --> 00:34:12,414
Well, I was
born in the 70s,

763
00:34:12,416 --> 00:34:15,617
so I hope it's not
so obnoxious, right?

764
00:34:15,619 --> 00:34:16,621
Right.

765
00:34:21,625 --> 00:34:23,191
What's with the piano?

766
00:34:23,193 --> 00:34:24,429
Do you play?

767
00:34:25,295 --> 00:34:28,099
Uh. It's my ex.

768
00:34:30,534 --> 00:34:32,534
Your ex is a piano?

769
00:34:32,536 --> 00:34:35,539
No. She's a human. Bitch.

770
00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:39,710
She's really good at
playing the piano.

771
00:34:49,119 --> 00:34:51,119
Do you wanna listen
to this one next?

772
00:34:51,121 --> 00:34:52,423
Sure.

773
00:34:53,489 --> 00:34:56,224
I don't think I've ever
listened to this one.

774
00:36:24,914 --> 00:36:26,717
Where is my bike?

775
00:36:49,606 --> 00:36:51,509
You had sex!

776
00:36:55,378 --> 00:36:56,614
What?

777
00:36:57,581 --> 00:36:59,581
You had sex.

778
00:36:59,583 --> 00:37:01,749
- What are you talking about?
- Come on!

779
00:37:01,751 --> 00:37:03,554
How did you know?

780
00:37:04,855 --> 00:37:06,623
I felt the energy change.

781
00:37:08,025 --> 00:37:09,260
So?

782
00:37:10,427 --> 00:37:11,425
How was it?

783
00:37:11,427 --> 00:37:12,963
It was

784
00:37:13,764 --> 00:37:15,032
Nice.

785
00:37:15,766 --> 00:37:17,465
It was nice?

786
00:37:17,467 --> 00:37:19,269
Yeah it was nice.

787
00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:22,936
So? What did you get
for the romp sesh?

788
00:37:22,938 --> 00:37:24,472
Earrings?

789
00:37:24,474 --> 00:37:25,472
Purse?

790
00:37:25,474 --> 00:37:26,474
An iPod?

791
00:37:26,476 --> 00:37:27,474
A gift card?

792
00:37:27,476 --> 00:37:28,776
Got nothing.
A Starbucks's gift card?

793
00:37:28,778 --> 00:37:30,979
Oh, I got Gatorade.

794
00:37:30,981 --> 00:37:32,414
That's it?

795
00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:34,652
Oh and my bike got stolen.

796
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,686
Wait, doesn't
he live in that

797
00:37:38,688 --> 00:37:39,854
nice neighbourhood
by the water?

798
00:37:39,856 --> 00:37:40,854
Yeah.

799
00:37:40,856 --> 00:37:42,626
Crime knows no bounds.

800
00:37:47,697 --> 00:37:49,831
This is for you,

801
00:37:49,833 --> 00:37:51,601
and this is also for you.

802
00:37:52,869 --> 00:37:54,836
And the last thing

803
00:37:54,838 --> 00:37:56,606
is too big to bring up.

804
00:37:57,673 --> 00:37:59,777
I'll just get my shoes.

805
00:38:04,514 --> 00:38:05,813
Is that?

806
00:38:05,815 --> 00:38:07,882
A sex moped.

807
00:38:07,884 --> 00:38:09,316
A hoeped.

808
00:38:09,318 --> 00:38:10,621
Oh my god!

809
00:38:18,027 --> 00:38:19,829
What does it say?

810
00:38:21,498 --> 00:38:23,733
Sorry I stole your bike.

811
00:38:26,702 --> 00:38:29,737
Hey, Conrad here and today,

812
00:38:29,739 --> 00:38:32,874
I'm gonna show you
how to ride a moped!

813
00:38:32,876 --> 00:38:34,378
Conrad's kinda cute.

814
00:38:35,579 --> 00:38:37,144
Kinda.

815
00:38:37,146 --> 00:38:38,146
Hold this.

816
00:38:38,148 --> 00:38:39,146
To be honest.

817
00:38:39,148 --> 00:38:41,384
I mean, you just
turn the key.

818
00:38:44,054 --> 00:38:45,822
Check your mirror.

819
00:38:48,724 --> 00:38:49,923
Looking good.

820
00:38:49,925 --> 00:38:51,226
Pass me my helmet.

821
00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:52,927
You gotta
kick up the kickstand.

822
00:38:52,929 --> 00:38:55,095
Hold on, Conrad's
bike won't start.

823
00:38:55,097 --> 00:38:57,398
And you know, um,

824
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,532
you know, hopefully

825
00:38:58,534 --> 00:38:59,700
Conrad, why did you post this?

826
00:39:01,605 --> 00:39:02,673
Get on!

827
00:39:08,577 --> 00:39:10,114
I feel dangerous.

828
00:39:11,547 --> 00:39:13,550
Cartilage piercing dangerous.

829
00:39:13,916 --> 00:39:16,083
It's not that dangerous.

830
00:39:16,085 --> 00:39:17,084
You ready?

831
00:39:17,086 --> 00:39:18,952
Take that bow off!

832
00:39:35,972 --> 00:39:37,771
Ah! Oh my god!

833
00:39:37,773 --> 00:39:39,541
Take my picture!

834
00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:40,775
Oh my god!

835
00:39:40,777 --> 00:39:42,443
Ow! Why?!

836
00:39:42,445 --> 00:39:43,912
Ow!

837
00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:45,112
Does it look cool?

838
00:39:45,114 --> 00:39:46,616
Uh, yeah.

839
00:39:46,916 --> 00:39:47,916
There's a little bit of

840
00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:49,416
- of blood.
- What?

841
00:39:49,418 --> 00:39:50,584
But don't touch it,
don't touch it.

842
00:39:50,586 --> 00:39:52,119
How am I going to
wear my bike helmet?

843
00:40:06,969 --> 00:40:08,772
What happened to your ear?

844
00:40:09,271 --> 00:40:11,074
I got my cartilage pierced.

845
00:40:12,007 --> 00:40:13,407
Looks like it hurt.

846
00:40:13,409 --> 00:40:14,644
It doesn't.

847
00:40:33,864 --> 00:40:35,095
Are you still
pissed off with me

848
00:40:35,097 --> 00:40:37,034
because you fit
in my pants?

849
00:40:37,867 --> 00:40:39,936
That's not why
I'm pissed off.

850
00:40:40,503 --> 00:40:41,806
So you are mad.

851
00:40:42,271 --> 00:40:44,040
So now you're applying?

852
00:40:46,175 --> 00:40:47,978
I was always applying.

853
00:40:57,019 --> 00:40:58,052
Hold on.

854
00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:07,498
Does he know?

855
00:41:08,063 --> 00:41:09,863
That I'm applying
for an award?

856
00:41:09,865 --> 00:41:12,202
That you're writing
about him to win an award.

857
00:41:14,403 --> 00:41:15,905
I changed his name.

858
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:17,740
So no.

859
00:41:21,878 --> 00:41:23,146
Nice ride.

860
00:41:23,847 --> 00:41:24,845
Thanks.

861
00:41:24,847 --> 00:41:26,650
How'd you pay for it?

862
00:41:29,885 --> 00:41:30,887
'Kay, bye.

863
00:42:16,766 --> 00:42:19,936
I thought of something
that I want.

864
00:42:20,436 --> 00:42:21,739
Oh yeah?

865
00:42:22,938 --> 00:42:24,741
What do you want?

866
00:42:25,942 --> 00:42:28,945
I'm applying for an award
and I need a reference letter.

867
00:42:32,081 --> 00:42:33,349
What's the award for?

868
00:42:35,184 --> 00:42:36,186
Journalism.

869
00:42:38,153 --> 00:42:39,923
You're in it-you're in it
for the money, aren't you?

870
00:42:44,193 --> 00:42:45,760
But if I win,

871
00:42:45,762 --> 00:42:47,998
I get a bunch of cash and
I can pay off my debt.

872
00:42:50,599 --> 00:42:53,266
You know, I could
help you with that,

873
00:42:53,268 --> 00:42:55,038
if that's something
that you wanted.

874
00:42:55,438 --> 00:42:56,974
Thought you didn't
write checks.

875
00:42:58,608 --> 00:43:01,010
Well, I'd consider
it an investment.

876
00:43:03,679 --> 00:43:07,481
You're the only person that
would invest in journalism.

877
00:43:07,483 --> 00:43:09,987
Well, I wouldn't be
investing in journalism,

878
00:43:11,186 --> 00:43:12,455
I'd be investing in you.

879
00:43:18,193 --> 00:43:20,029
What's in it for you?

880
00:43:21,898 --> 00:43:22,967
This.

881
00:43:27,369 --> 00:43:29,172
You can think about it.

882
00:43:32,708 --> 00:43:34,010
And the letter?

883
00:43:36,646 --> 00:43:38,479
Why don't you write it out

884
00:43:38,481 --> 00:43:40,017
and then I'll sign it.

885
00:43:42,217 --> 00:43:45,521
Okay, so do you wanna read a
writing sample or something?

886
00:43:48,891 --> 00:43:50,258
Sure.

887
00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:51,592
So I'll email it.

888
00:43:51,594 --> 00:43:54,228
Yeah, you can email it, great.

889
00:43:54,230 --> 00:43:55,599
Or I can print it.

890
00:43:57,032 --> 00:43:58,032
Whatever's easier.

891
00:43:58,034 --> 00:43:59,032
I'llI'll email it.

892
00:43:59,034 --> 00:44:00,034
I'll PDF it.

893
00:44:00,036 --> 00:44:02,438
Yeah, PDF it, for sure.

894
00:44:04,173 --> 00:44:06,541
A mutually
beneficial relationship.

895
00:44:06,543 --> 00:44:07,945
I was a sugar baby.

896
00:44:09,179 --> 00:44:10,945
If you just saw us
drinking in some park

897
00:44:10,947 --> 00:44:13,246
like we were in some
frigging French film,

898
00:44:13,248 --> 00:44:18,052
or eating tiny, fancy food in
some tiny, fancy restaurant,

899
00:44:18,054 --> 00:44:21,289
or holding hands and
coffees in sweater weather,

900
00:44:21,291 --> 00:44:22,856
and some upbeat
love song played

901
00:44:22,858 --> 00:44:25,258
over what we were
actually saying,

902
00:44:25,260 --> 00:44:28,262
it would appear that we
were falling in love.

903
00:44:28,264 --> 00:44:30,130
He didn't play games.

904
00:44:30,132 --> 00:44:32,300
He called when he
said he would,

905
00:44:32,302 --> 00:44:34,635
and made concrete
plans in advance.

906
00:44:34,637 --> 00:44:37,271
It was chivalry
at its finest.

907
00:44:37,273 --> 00:44:39,106
Perhaps romance
wasn't dead,

908
00:44:39,108 --> 00:44:41,641
it was just hiding out
in another dimension,

909
00:44:41,643 --> 00:44:43,244
a world where
social interaction

910
00:44:43,246 --> 00:44:45,479
was actually a transaction,

911
00:44:45,481 --> 00:44:47,115
and going to the
theatre was something

912
00:44:47,117 --> 00:44:48,919
I did on a Saturday night.

913
00:44:49,318 --> 00:44:50,385
The truth is,

914
00:44:50,387 --> 00:44:52,385
while I ate my
overpriced Gummi Bears

915
00:44:52,387 --> 00:44:54,588
he brought me
during intermission,

916
00:44:54,590 --> 00:44:56,393
I felt like a goddamn lady.

917
00:45:12,175 --> 00:45:14,307
I bet you she
doesn't even like him.

918
00:45:14,309 --> 00:45:16,079
Do you like every
guy you've hooked up with?

919
00:45:16,813 --> 00:45:18,412
I stayed with Tom because
we were in the middle

920
00:45:18,414 --> 00:45:20,818
of Stranger Things and
I don't have Netflix.

921
00:45:22,684 --> 00:45:24,552
It's not
really the same thing.

922
00:45:24,554 --> 00:45:27,191
He bought her a scooter
for having sex with him.

923
00:45:32,528 --> 00:45:33,797
Hey.

924
00:45:34,530 --> 00:45:35,798
Hey.

925
00:45:51,213 --> 00:45:52,750
You're not a hooker.

926
00:45:53,416 --> 00:45:56,349
But I don't know what
being a hooker feels like.

927
00:45:56,351 --> 00:45:58,586
What if it feels
just like this?

928
00:45:58,588 --> 00:45:59,586
How do you feel?

929
00:45:59,588 --> 00:46:00,857
I feel fine.

930
00:46:01,490 --> 00:46:04,191
Good, like, really good.

931
00:46:04,193 --> 00:46:05,392
That might just
be the cupcakes.

932
00:46:05,394 --> 00:46:07,228
Can't believe you made these.

933
00:46:07,230 --> 00:46:08,595
Since when do you bake?

934
00:46:08,597 --> 00:46:09,866
I got bored.

935
00:46:11,067 --> 00:46:12,568
Then I got bored
when I was baking,

936
00:46:13,369 --> 00:46:15,372
so I sprinkled in
a bunch of Molly!

937
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:18,708
Ha ha.

938
00:46:19,576 --> 00:46:21,077
No, I did, for real.

939
00:46:21,677 --> 00:46:22,913
No.

940
00:46:23,713 --> 00:46:25,412
No, Nikki!

941
00:46:25,414 --> 00:46:26,916
I can't have drugs!

942
00:46:27,382 --> 00:46:29,285
I'm emotionally unstable!

943
00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:31,418
Take it back.

944
00:46:31,420 --> 00:46:32,354
No.

945
00:46:32,356 --> 00:46:33,287
I have to make myself puke.

946
00:46:33,289 --> 00:46:34,621
No, no, no, no,
don't throw it up.

947
00:46:34,623 --> 00:46:35,856
I hate puking.

948
00:46:35,858 --> 00:46:37,224
I should have got
Jimmy as the roommate,

949
00:46:37,226 --> 00:46:38,394
Jimmy would have loved this.

950
00:46:46,268 --> 00:46:47,267
Hello.

951
00:46:47,269 --> 00:46:48,269
Hi.

952
00:46:48,271 --> 00:46:51,438
Uh, Bla, hey you,
in the bathroom!

953
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,039
Your Uber Eats is here.

954
00:46:53,041 --> 00:46:54,441
What are you talking about?

955
00:46:54,443 --> 00:46:56,413
I can't afford Uber Eats.

956
00:46:59,148 --> 00:47:01,249
Hey, oh, you look
really nice.

957
00:47:01,251 --> 00:47:02,717
What are you doing here?

958
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,452
Um, do you wanna
go to a wedding with me?

959
00:47:07,289 --> 00:47:08,289
I've never been to a wedding.

960
00:47:08,291 --> 00:47:09,824
- Me neither.
- Really?

961
00:47:09,826 --> 00:47:11,157
Yeah, when is it?

962
00:47:11,159 --> 00:47:12,425
Now.

963
00:47:12,427 --> 00:47:13,561
Like, now now?

964
00:47:13,563 --> 00:47:14,561
Yeah.

965
00:47:14,563 --> 00:47:15,662
Sorry for the short notice,

966
00:47:15,664 --> 00:47:18,465
um I just hate going
to these things alone.

967
00:47:18,467 --> 00:47:20,501
But I did get you this.

968
00:47:20,503 --> 00:47:21,568
Oh my god.

969
00:47:23,306 --> 00:47:24,304
Oh my god.

970
00:47:24,306 --> 00:47:25,907
Yeah, it's pretty sparkly.

971
00:47:25,909 --> 00:47:27,677
Oh!

972
00:47:28,478 --> 00:47:29,476
It's dangerous.

973
00:47:29,478 --> 00:47:31,278
It's stupid, sorry.

974
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,447
Um, it's sparkly because
the stones are so clear.

975
00:47:34,449 --> 00:47:37,253
I think they're only found
in one place in the world.

976
00:47:38,954 --> 00:47:40,757
Are you gonna say your heart?

977
00:47:41,657 --> 00:47:43,293
No, South Africa.

978
00:47:44,427 --> 00:47:45,659
Close enough.

979
00:47:45,661 --> 00:47:47,762
So, are-are they
blood diamonds?

980
00:47:47,764 --> 00:47:48,762
No.

981
00:47:48,764 --> 00:47:49,764
Are you sure?

982
00:47:49,766 --> 00:47:50,764
Yes.

983
00:47:50,766 --> 00:47:51,766
So no one died for them?

984
00:47:51,768 --> 00:47:54,601
No. Those are
100% organic,

985
00:47:54,603 --> 00:47:56,470
farm fresh,
vegan diamonds.

986
00:47:56,472 --> 00:47:58,505
Okay, I'm
gonna go get ready.

987
00:47:58,507 --> 00:47:59,441
Okay.

988
00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:00,340
Uh, uh, wear the pink dress.

989
00:48:00,342 --> 00:48:01,541
I don't have a pink dress.

990
00:48:01,543 --> 00:48:04,945
Yeah, the
long one, pink, low.

991
00:48:04,947 --> 00:48:06,313
I had a blue one.

992
00:48:06,315 --> 00:48:07,315
It's mine,

993
00:48:07,317 --> 00:48:08,516
I'm trying to make
you look good.

994
00:48:08,518 --> 00:48:10,150
- Oh, thank you so much.
- You ruined it.

995
00:48:10,152 --> 00:48:11,519
Okay, I'll be really quick.

996
00:48:11,521 --> 00:48:12,522
Okay.

997
00:48:23,565 --> 00:48:26,032
So you guys have lived
together for a while?

998
00:48:26,034 --> 00:48:29,737
Yeah, we were-we were um
roommates in freshman year.

999
00:48:29,739 --> 00:48:32,639
We hated each other for
the first few months,

1000
00:48:32,641 --> 00:48:34,543
then Philip Seymour
Hoffman died.

1001
00:48:36,545 --> 00:48:37,813
Yeah.

1002
00:48:38,581 --> 00:48:44,150
Wow. Wow.
Oh, wow, you look beautiful.

1003
00:48:44,152 --> 00:48:45,519
Thanks.

1004
00:48:45,521 --> 00:48:46,757
He stood up.

1005
00:48:57,199 --> 00:48:58,599
Wait, whose wedding is this?

1006
00:48:58,601 --> 00:49:00,369
Um, you met Bobby, right?

1007
00:49:02,005 --> 00:49:03,570
The guy from the pool?

1008
00:49:03,572 --> 00:49:04,572
Yeah.

1009
00:49:04,574 --> 00:49:05,572
He's getting married?

1010
00:49:05,574 --> 00:49:06,576
Yeah.

1011
00:49:26,795 --> 00:49:28,595
I take you

1012
00:49:28,597 --> 00:49:32,499
to be my lawfully
wedded husband,

1013
00:49:32,501 --> 00:49:34,438
to have and to hold

1014
00:49:35,838 --> 00:49:37,341
from this day forward.

1015
00:49:38,141 --> 00:49:41,675
For better, for worse,

1016
00:49:41,677 --> 00:49:44,512
for richer, for poorer,

1017
00:49:44,514 --> 00:49:45,816
in sickness and in health

1018
00:49:46,748 --> 00:49:48,517
until death do us part.

1019
00:49:52,288 --> 00:49:54,021
Are you-are you okay?

1020
00:49:54,023 --> 00:49:55,623
I'm on drugs.

1021
00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:57,657
Oh, wow, what kind?

1022
00:49:57,659 --> 00:49:59,092
Cupcakes with Molly in them,

1023
00:49:59,094 --> 00:50:00,360
I should have told you,
I'm so sorry.

1024
00:50:00,362 --> 00:50:01,595
Shit.

1025
00:50:01,597 --> 00:50:02,865
- Jesus.
- No, I'm good.

1026
00:50:03,632 --> 00:50:05,132
I've done Molly
like, once before.

1027
00:50:05,134 --> 00:50:07,367
It was fun until I puked
all over somebody's shoes,

1028
00:50:07,369 --> 00:50:08,668
but I don't foresee that
happening this time.

1029
00:50:08,670 --> 00:50:11,338
I don't feel nauseous
at all, I'm good.

1030
00:50:11,340 --> 00:50:12,706
I'm sorry, I said
that already.

1031
00:50:12,708 --> 00:50:14,941
I'm gonna be
serious from now.

1032
00:50:14,943 --> 00:50:17,711
Yeah, falling in love
is a very serious matter.

1033
00:50:17,713 --> 00:50:18,981
So serious.

1034
00:50:19,681 --> 00:50:21,514
So you're okay with
the choreographed dance

1035
00:50:21,516 --> 00:50:23,050
that we have to do later?

1036
00:50:23,052 --> 00:50:24,851
Oh my God, I would love that.

1037
00:50:24,853 --> 00:50:26,119
There'll be a speech

1038
00:50:26,121 --> 00:50:27,387
with a lot of inside jokes

1039
00:50:27,389 --> 00:50:29,123
that neither one of
us are gonna get.

1040
00:50:29,125 --> 00:50:30,360
Bring it on.

1041
00:50:31,693 --> 00:50:32,793
Do you believe in love?

1042
00:50:32,795 --> 00:50:34,063
My parents got divorced.

1043
00:50:34,697 --> 00:50:36,996
Uh, oh.

1044
00:50:36,998 --> 00:50:37,998
No, I'm good, I'm okay.

1045
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,532
I'm good, let's
go get a drink.

1046
00:50:39,534 --> 00:50:40,700
Yep.

1047
00:51:11,099 --> 00:51:15,603
♪ All of us have
felt the burden

1048
00:51:15,605 --> 00:51:18,371
♪ Of being nowhere alone

1049
00:51:18,373 --> 00:51:21,407
♪ With feelings that leave us

1050
00:51:21,409 --> 00:51:25,579
♪ Wondering when
the time will come

1051
00:51:25,581 --> 00:51:31,751
♪ To find something, someone,
a feeling to guide us ♪

1052
00:51:31,753 --> 00:51:32,753
Oh my god.

1053
00:51:32,755 --> 00:51:37,624
♪ Like a technicolour operation

1054
00:51:37,626 --> 00:51:42,632
♪ You commandeer
my field of vision

1055
00:51:46,469 --> 00:51:50,474
♪ I'm a bullet in the ocean

1056
00:51:51,873 --> 00:51:54,941
♪ You harness me so softly

1057
00:51:54,943 --> 00:51:58,445
♪ That I just fall

1058
00:51:58,447 --> 00:52:00,880
♪ Baby ♪

1059
00:52:06,422 --> 00:52:07,420
Oh, it's so cute.

1060
00:52:07,422 --> 00:52:08,657
Oh, yes.

1061
00:52:11,994 --> 00:52:13,262
Hey.

1062
00:52:13,795 --> 00:52:14,894
Hey, congratulations.

1063
00:52:14,896 --> 00:52:16,597
Thank you.

1064
00:52:16,599 --> 00:52:17,601
Big day.

1065
00:52:18,300 --> 00:52:19,432
It's a beautiful wedding,

1066
00:52:19,434 --> 00:52:20,633
you have a really good voice.

1067
00:52:20,635 --> 00:52:21,904
Yeah?

1068
00:52:22,838 --> 00:52:23,840
How's Morgan?

1069
00:52:24,606 --> 00:52:26,307
Uh, I haven't seen
her in a while.

1070
00:52:26,309 --> 00:52:27,611
That's too bad.

1071
00:52:28,777 --> 00:52:30,012
You know, I, um,

1072
00:52:31,079 --> 00:52:33,313
I dig that bike.

1073
00:52:33,315 --> 00:52:35,117
I think girls on
bikes are cool.

1074
00:52:36,485 --> 00:52:37,787
How much that cost?

1075
00:52:38,820 --> 00:52:40,820
I'mI'm not sure actually.

1076
00:52:40,822 --> 00:52:44,027
Yeah, must be doing
something special.

1077
00:52:51,833 --> 00:52:53,300
Your wife.

1078
00:52:53,302 --> 00:52:54,802
Oh no, no, we have
an open relationship.

1079
00:52:54,804 --> 00:52:56,135
There was a whole,

1080
00:52:56,137 --> 00:52:57,304
there was this book,

1081
00:52:57,306 --> 00:52:59,773
and I don't really remember,

1082
00:52:59,775 --> 00:53:01,677
but you can have sex
with other people.

1083
00:53:03,846 --> 00:53:04,845
That's cool.

1084
00:53:04,847 --> 00:53:05,849
Yeah.

1085
00:53:10,485 --> 00:53:11,887
What do you want?

1086
00:53:12,722 --> 00:53:14,724
To go to the bathroom.

1087
00:53:15,757 --> 00:53:17,059
Is that all?

1088
00:53:21,864 --> 00:53:23,099
Ow!

1089
00:54:03,938 --> 00:54:05,938
Why's your rating so low?

1090
00:54:05,940 --> 00:54:06,942
What?

1091
00:54:08,043 --> 00:54:10,112
You're only at a 4.3.

1092
00:54:11,746 --> 00:54:12,945
I am?

1093
00:54:12,947 --> 00:54:14,216
Yep.

1094
00:54:15,818 --> 00:54:16,820
Why?

1095
00:54:17,820 --> 00:54:18,822
I don't know.

1096
00:54:19,655 --> 00:54:21,121
You seem fine.

1097
00:54:21,123 --> 00:54:22,789
I am fine.

1098
00:55:16,010 --> 00:55:17,276
Hi.
What are you doing here?

1099
00:55:17,278 --> 00:55:19,445
We didn't have plans.

1100
00:55:19,447 --> 00:55:21,447
Oh, I know, I just
wanted to stop by

1101
00:55:21,449 --> 00:55:23,851
and apologize for
leaving the wedding.

1102
00:55:23,853 --> 00:55:25,655
I can't do this right now.

1103
00:55:26,889 --> 00:55:28,222
Okay, it's just,

1104
00:55:28,224 --> 00:55:29,222
when I went to the bathroom

1105
00:55:29,224 --> 00:55:30,860
This isn't how this works.

1106
00:55:37,199 --> 00:55:38,965
Many are quick to label

1107
00:55:38,967 --> 00:55:42,869
the sugar lifestyle
choice as prostitution,

1108
00:55:42,871 --> 00:55:45,072
but there are lots
of differences

1109
00:55:45,074 --> 00:55:48,876
between this lifestyle
and the oldest profession.

1110
00:55:48,878 --> 00:55:53,883
A prostitute and a client have
a transactional relationship.

1111
00:55:54,315 --> 00:55:59,321
They meet, participate in
some sort of a physical act,

1112
00:56:00,222 --> 00:56:01,725
exchange funds,

1113
00:56:02,023 --> 00:56:03,525
and part ways.

1114
00:56:04,025 --> 00:56:08,862
Typically, this is a one
time occurrence, a job.

1115
00:56:08,864 --> 00:56:10,329
There is no relationship,

1116
00:56:10,331 --> 00:56:13,900
and no possibility
for a relationship,

1117
00:56:13,902 --> 00:56:16,903
and that is the biggest
difference, really.

1118
00:56:16,905 --> 00:56:18,240
The relationship.

1119
00:56:21,076 --> 00:56:22,344
Hey.

1120
00:56:22,744 --> 00:56:24,077
Yo.

1121
00:56:24,079 --> 00:56:26,280
What are you wearing to
the toga party tonight?

1122
00:56:26,282 --> 00:56:27,884
Uh, a toga.

1123
00:56:29,083 --> 00:56:30,719
So I can't wear this?

1124
00:56:33,521 --> 00:56:35,255
It's not a toga.

1125
00:56:35,257 --> 00:56:36,525
What about now?

1126
00:56:37,559 --> 00:56:39,596
Uh, yeah, no,
still not a toga.

1127
00:56:41,096 --> 00:56:43,266
Nikki, it's not a toga.

1128
00:56:44,967 --> 00:56:45,969
Fine.

1129
00:57:05,487 --> 00:57:06,755
Hey.

1130
00:57:16,130 --> 00:57:18,831
So, uh, about earlier.

1131
00:57:18,833 --> 00:57:20,200
It-it's okay,

1132
00:57:20,202 --> 00:57:23,006
but you can't just
show up at my house.

1133
00:57:24,472 --> 00:57:25,539
To be fair,

1134
00:57:25,541 --> 00:57:27,039
you did just show
up at my house

1135
00:57:27,041 --> 00:57:29,008
and invite me to
your wedding.

1136
00:57:29,010 --> 00:57:31,110
And I got you that bracelet.

1137
00:57:31,112 --> 00:57:32,147
Right.

1138
00:57:37,152 --> 00:57:39,188
I read your
reference letter today.

1139
00:57:40,456 --> 00:57:41,691
- Oh yeah?
- Mhm.

1140
00:57:43,192 --> 00:57:46,492
Do you support all the fantastic
things I said about myself?

1141
00:57:46,494 --> 00:57:48,228
No.

1142
00:57:48,230 --> 00:57:49,295
I'm gonna rewrite it,

1143
00:57:49,297 --> 00:57:50,833
tell the truth.

1144
00:57:56,204 --> 00:57:57,403
Did you read my
writing sample?

1145
00:57:57,405 --> 00:57:59,206
Mm.

1146
00:57:59,208 --> 00:58:01,010
I'm gonna get to
it this weekend.

1147
00:58:12,887 --> 00:58:14,690
Do you have any siblings?

1148
00:58:15,490 --> 00:58:16,490
What?

1149
00:58:16,492 --> 00:58:19,226
You know, brothers
or sisters, siblings.

1150
00:58:19,228 --> 00:58:20,230
Why?

1151
00:58:21,063 --> 00:58:22,429
I just realized
that I don't know

1152
00:58:22,431 --> 00:58:23,429
anything about your family.

1153
00:58:23,431 --> 00:58:25,234
We don't have to do this.

1154
00:58:27,536 --> 00:58:28,838
Okay.

1155
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,041
It's really good, isn't it.

1156
00:58:34,043 --> 00:58:35,044
Mm.

1157
00:58:39,949 --> 00:58:42,452
There are so many expensive
bottles of wine in here.

1158
00:58:43,284 --> 00:58:44,284
Mhm.

1159
00:58:44,286 --> 00:58:46,289
Imagine if I just
smashed them all.

1160
00:58:51,092 --> 00:58:52,895
You missed my turn.

1161
00:58:53,762 --> 00:58:55,765
Oh, we're-we're
going to my place.

1162
00:58:58,067 --> 00:58:59,568
No, I want to go home.

1163
00:59:03,271 --> 00:59:05,074
It's so early.

1164
00:59:18,487 --> 00:59:20,554
Oh ho ho, who's this?

1165
00:59:20,556 --> 00:59:22,289
Who is this?

1166
00:59:22,291 --> 00:59:23,793
Gertie, Gertie, Gertie.

1167
00:59:25,728 --> 00:59:27,293
She missed you.

1168
00:59:27,295 --> 00:59:28,295
See that?

1169
00:59:28,297 --> 00:59:29,565
You did, didn't you?

1170
00:59:30,965 --> 00:59:32,465
Where you goin'?

1171
00:59:32,467 --> 00:59:34,269
Ha ha ha ha.

1172
00:59:37,271 --> 00:59:40,574
Oh, yes, I'm happy
to see you, too.

1173
00:59:40,576 --> 00:59:42,309
Yes I am.

1174
00:59:42,311 --> 00:59:44,113
Yes I am, yes.

1175
01:05:11,405 --> 01:05:12,474
Blake.

1176
01:05:19,715 --> 01:05:20,716
I'll catch up.

1177
01:05:21,983 --> 01:05:23,219
Blake.

1178
01:05:24,987 --> 01:05:26,521
You look like E.T.

1179
01:05:30,891 --> 01:05:32,894
I didn't see ya
at the toga party.

1180
01:05:36,364 --> 01:05:37,697
You okay?

1181
01:05:37,699 --> 01:05:38,934
Yeah, I'm great.

1182
01:05:40,735 --> 01:05:42,003
Hey.

1183
01:05:42,603 --> 01:05:43,905
It's okay.

1184
01:05:47,541 --> 01:05:49,441
You don't have to do this.

1185
01:05:49,443 --> 01:05:50,512
Do what?

1186
01:05:51,579 --> 01:05:54,748
Be nice to me because
you feel bad or something.

1187
01:05:54,750 --> 01:05:56,552
Oh, I don't feel bad.

1188
01:06:02,724 --> 01:06:05,791
Well, you can feel a little
bad for me if you want.

1189
01:06:09,630 --> 01:06:11,433
Do you wanna talk
about it, or?

1190
01:06:13,768 --> 01:06:15,068
Do you wanna,

1191
01:06:15,070 --> 01:06:16,372
go for breakfast?

1192
01:06:19,206 --> 01:06:20,442
Okay.

1193
01:06:20,775 --> 01:06:22,043
I'll get the bike.

1194
01:06:31,786 --> 01:06:33,887
Are you bringing
anyone to graduation?

1195
01:06:33,889 --> 01:06:35,621
Yeah, my parents.

1196
01:06:35,623 --> 01:06:36,789
You?

1197
01:06:36,791 --> 01:06:40,427
Uh, yeah, same, unfortunately.

1198
01:06:40,429 --> 01:06:41,827
They hate each other,

1199
01:06:41,829 --> 01:06:42,829
but they love me,

1200
01:06:42,831 --> 01:06:44,164
so they just come
to all my stuff

1201
01:06:44,166 --> 01:06:46,166
and fight the whole time.

1202
01:06:46,168 --> 01:06:47,900
It's gonna be great.

1203
01:06:47,902 --> 01:06:49,068
That sucks.

1204
01:06:49,070 --> 01:06:50,769
Yeah.

1205
01:06:50,771 --> 01:06:52,604
When did they get divorced?

1206
01:06:52,606 --> 01:06:54,740
Um, a while ago.

1207
01:06:54,742 --> 01:06:56,011
Like, when I was ten.

1208
01:06:58,646 --> 01:07:00,646
Mine also got divorced.

1209
01:07:00,648 --> 01:07:01,648
Oh, when?

1210
01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:04,684
Right after I left for school,

1211
01:07:04,686 --> 01:07:05,818
they were, like,

1212
01:07:05,820 --> 01:07:09,088
"Okay, she's gone,
we did it, the end."

1213
01:07:09,090 --> 01:07:10,326
I'm sorry.

1214
01:07:10,992 --> 01:07:12,260
No, it's okay.

1215
01:07:12,827 --> 01:07:14,630
Do you have any siblings?

1216
01:07:20,835 --> 01:07:22,001
What?

1217
01:07:22,003 --> 01:07:23,670
That's my question.

1218
01:07:23,672 --> 01:07:24,704
Whadda ya mean?

1219
01:07:24,706 --> 01:07:25,804
What does that mean?

1220
01:07:25,806 --> 01:07:27,706
I ask that on dates.

1221
01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:28,708
Like,

1222
01:07:28,710 --> 01:07:30,110
"Do you have any siblings?"

1223
01:07:30,112 --> 01:07:31,847
is the question you
ask on all the dates?

1224
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,046
Every time?

1225
01:07:34,048 --> 01:07:35,115
100% of the time?

1226
01:07:35,117 --> 01:07:36,115
Mm hmm.

1227
01:07:36,117 --> 01:07:37,117
That's so weird.

1228
01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:38,617
But you asked me it.

1229
01:07:38,619 --> 01:07:39,853
No, that's the first
time I've ever asked it.

1230
01:07:39,855 --> 01:07:41,123
I mean, I don't plan it.

1231
01:07:45,460 --> 01:07:47,228
Why, why do you
ask that question?

1232
01:07:49,965 --> 01:07:51,733
Because it's the start.

1233
01:07:54,702 --> 01:07:56,739
Do you have any siblings?

1234
01:07:57,706 --> 01:07:59,671
I don't have any siblings.

1235
01:07:59,673 --> 01:08:01,307
- Do you?
- Yeah.

1236
01:08:01,309 --> 01:08:02,812
Got a half sister.

1237
01:08:03,478 --> 01:08:04,577
Which half?

1238
01:08:04,579 --> 01:08:05,878
Oh, my dad's.

1239
01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:07,246
She's the worst
person I've ever met.

1240
01:08:07,248 --> 01:08:08,715
She's the worst person

1241
01:08:08,717 --> 01:08:10,249
I've ever met in
my entire life.

1242
01:08:10,251 --> 01:08:11,251
Your dad got remarried?

1243
01:08:11,253 --> 01:08:12,251
Yes.

1244
01:08:12,253 --> 01:08:13,519
And how old is she?

1245
01:08:13,521 --> 01:08:15,188
She's-she's three.

1246
01:08:15,190 --> 01:08:17,156
But she acts like she's two.

1247
01:08:17,158 --> 01:08:18,324
We have nothing in common.

1248
01:08:18,326 --> 01:08:20,160
She's the worst little cute

1249
01:08:20,162 --> 01:08:21,160
Here ya go.
- baby.

1250
01:08:21,162 --> 01:08:22,397
Thank you so much.

1251
01:08:23,164 --> 01:08:24,363
Thank you.

1252
01:08:24,365 --> 01:08:25,365
I got this.

1253
01:08:25,367 --> 01:08:26,601
Oh.

1254
01:08:30,372 --> 01:08:31,403
I owe you.

1255
01:08:31,405 --> 01:08:33,208
You don't owe me anything.

1256
01:08:50,024 --> 01:08:51,559
Don't leave me again.

1257
01:08:53,962 --> 01:08:54,826
The bike, I meant.

1258
01:08:54,828 --> 01:08:56,131
Sure you did.

1259
01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:06,674
Okay.

1260
01:09:08,944 --> 01:09:10,179
Goodnight.

1261
01:09:10,811 --> 01:09:12,277
No.

1262
01:09:12,279 --> 01:09:13,812
Bad night.

1263
01:09:13,814 --> 01:09:15,083
Good morning.

1264
01:09:17,786 --> 01:09:18,854
Good morning.

1265
01:09:44,011 --> 01:09:45,014
Nikki.

1266
01:09:50,885 --> 01:09:51,887
Nikki!

1267
01:09:54,055 --> 01:09:55,324
Oh shit.

1268
01:10:19,014 --> 01:10:20,312
What the fuck?

1269
01:10:20,314 --> 01:10:21,549
Shit.

1270
01:10:23,018 --> 01:10:25,020
So I read your
little love column.

1271
01:10:26,520 --> 01:10:28,323
Used me for material?

1272
01:10:33,662 --> 01:10:35,431
You used me for sex.

1273
01:10:39,067 --> 01:10:40,336
That was the deal.

1274
01:10:43,104 --> 01:10:44,373
I changed your name.

1275
01:10:48,342 --> 01:10:49,675
What's going on?

1276
01:10:49,677 --> 01:10:51,076
You were in there
the entire time?

1277
01:10:51,078 --> 01:10:52,577
Sorry.

1278
01:10:52,579 --> 01:10:54,046
If you don't erase
every trace of this thing

1279
01:10:54,048 --> 01:10:57,019
I'm going to ruin your name
before you even have one.

1280
01:11:36,957 --> 01:11:38,491
I'm not gonna lie,

1281
01:11:38,493 --> 01:11:41,096
I thought about throwing
the bracelet in the water.

1282
01:11:44,131 --> 01:11:45,764
Then I sold it,

1283
01:11:45,766 --> 01:11:47,769
because I'm not an idiot.

1284
01:11:51,739 --> 01:11:54,005
God, I should
have been a cheerleader.

1285
01:11:54,007 --> 01:11:56,342
Those girls are in
such good shape.

1286
01:11:56,344 --> 01:11:59,579
Yeah but, what're they
gonna do with their lives?

1287
01:11:59,581 --> 01:12:00,580
I don't know.

1288
01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:01,580
What becomes of them?

1289
01:12:01,582 --> 01:12:03,583
Yeah but, they
can do the splits.

1290
01:12:03,585 --> 01:12:05,119
They'll figure it out.

1291
01:12:08,355 --> 01:12:11,156
I still don't think you
should delete your column.

1292
01:12:11,158 --> 01:12:13,025
You need to own your scandal.

1293
01:12:13,027 --> 01:12:15,460
Like, uh,

1294
01:12:15,462 --> 01:12:16,764
Marie Antoinette.

1295
01:12:17,599 --> 01:12:19,331
She was a teen idol.

1296
01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:21,336
And she had sex
with everyone.

1297
01:12:22,170 --> 01:12:23,669
When she went to Paris,

1298
01:12:23,671 --> 01:12:25,170
people got trampled to death

1299
01:12:25,172 --> 01:12:26,272
just trying to catch
a glimpse of her.

1300
01:12:26,274 --> 01:12:28,174
That's really sad.

1301
01:12:28,176 --> 01:12:30,442
And didn't they behead
her for being slutty?

1302
01:12:30,444 --> 01:12:32,044
'Kay, well, we are
still talking about her.

1303
01:12:32,046 --> 01:12:34,048
That's not
always a good thing.

1304
01:12:36,184 --> 01:12:38,220
He revoked his
letter for the award.

1305
01:12:40,054 --> 01:12:41,387
They disqualified me.

1306
01:12:41,389 --> 01:12:42,388
Shit.

1307
01:12:42,390 --> 01:12:43,856
I know.

1308
01:12:43,858 --> 01:12:45,394
That sucks, sorry.

1309
01:12:52,332 --> 01:12:53,601
Jennifer Lawrence!

1310
01:12:55,203 --> 01:12:56,602
What about her?

1311
01:12:56,604 --> 01:12:58,271
When the-when those naked
pictures came out, of her?

1312
01:12:58,273 --> 01:13:00,106
She owned the shit out of it.

1313
01:13:00,108 --> 01:13:02,875
Declared it was a sex crime
on the cover of Vanity Fair.

1314
01:13:02,877 --> 01:13:05,076
And, those pictures made
her more interesting,

1315
01:13:05,078 --> 01:13:06,081
in my opinion.

1316
01:13:08,850 --> 01:13:09,915
I'd forgot about that.

1317
01:13:09,917 --> 01:13:11,250
I know.

1318
01:13:11,252 --> 01:13:13,055
She looked great.

1319
01:13:14,087 --> 01:13:16,088
Jennifer Lawrence.

1320
01:13:16,090 --> 01:13:17,089
J.Law.

1321
01:13:17,091 --> 01:13:18,190
Did ya see them?

1322
01:13:18,192 --> 01:13:20,128
No, I mean,
she would have, if,

1323
01:13:20,962 --> 01:13:22,260
if I saw them.

1324
01:13:22,262 --> 01:13:24,362
I think she would
have looked good.

1325
01:13:24,364 --> 01:13:25,430
But I didn't.

1326
01:13:25,432 --> 01:13:26,699
Did you see them?

1327
01:13:26,701 --> 01:13:28,470
Yeah, I saw them.

1328
01:13:38,378 --> 01:13:39,711
If this were the nineties,

1329
01:13:39,713 --> 01:13:42,147
and I was in a
Nora Ephron romcom,

1330
01:13:42,149 --> 01:13:43,549
this would be the moment

1331
01:13:43,551 --> 01:13:45,317
where it would seem
all hope is lost.

1332
01:13:50,557 --> 01:13:52,124
But then,

1333
01:13:52,126 --> 01:13:53,960
out of the fog,
he'd appear.

1334
01:13:55,762 --> 01:13:57,396
Maybe
at the top of a building,

1335
01:13:57,398 --> 01:14:00,333
or maybe in a cop car.

1336
01:14:00,335 --> 01:14:01,601
He wouldn't pull me over

1337
01:14:01,603 --> 01:14:03,268
because I was speeding
in a school zone,

1338
01:14:03,270 --> 01:14:05,403
and he sure as fuck wouldn't
give me a goddam ticket

1339
01:14:05,405 --> 01:14:07,807
for driving without
a motorcycle licence.

1340
01:14:09,344 --> 01:14:10,913
It's my birthday today.

1341
01:14:11,912 --> 01:14:12,911
No it's not.

1342
01:14:12,913 --> 01:14:13,912
It's my graduation,

1343
01:14:13,914 --> 01:14:15,748
and I really need to be there.

1344
01:14:15,750 --> 01:14:17,252
We'd lock eyes.

1345
01:14:18,353 --> 01:14:20,285
We'd have coffees
in sweater weather.

1346
01:14:20,287 --> 01:14:22,354
We'd drink wine in the park

1347
01:14:22,356 --> 01:14:23,826
like we were in
some French film.

1348
01:14:25,326 --> 01:14:27,994
And we'd run through field
after field holding hands,

1349
01:14:27,996 --> 01:14:30,161
while some upbeat
love song played.

1350
01:14:41,341 --> 01:14:44,112
But this isn't
a romcom from the nineties.

1351
01:14:45,179 --> 01:14:47,216
This is just my story,

1352
01:14:47,981 --> 01:14:49,984
and I don't want to
be ashamed of it.

1353
01:14:51,019 --> 01:14:53,218
The story was never
about the professor.

1354
01:14:53,220 --> 01:14:54,352
Or an award.

1355
01:14:54,354 --> 01:14:56,289
Or even my column,

1356
01:14:56,291 --> 01:14:57,357
which I didn't delete.

1357
01:14:57,359 --> 01:14:59,291
Otherwise you wouldn't
be reading this.

1358
01:14:59,293 --> 01:15:01,059
I just changed my name,

1359
01:15:01,061 --> 01:15:03,064
to my real one this time.

1360
01:15:23,216 --> 01:15:24,485
Thanks for the ride.

1361
01:15:42,604 --> 01:15:44,870
"Meet me on top
of the bleachers."

1362
01:15:44,872 --> 01:15:46,173
Hey Blake!

1363
01:15:48,408 --> 01:15:49,375
What?

1364
01:15:49,377 --> 01:15:51,777
Come up here.

1365
01:15:51,779 --> 01:15:53,245
Why?

1366
01:15:53,247 --> 01:15:55,246
You gotta to see the view.

1367
01:15:55,248 --> 01:15:57,616
The view is unbelievable.

1368
01:15:57,618 --> 01:15:59,418
What are you talking about?

1369
01:15:59,420 --> 01:16:00,686
I'm doin' a thing,

1370
01:16:00,688 --> 01:16:02,254
I'm doin' this thing, just,

1371
01:16:02,256 --> 01:16:03,455
can you come up here?

1372
01:16:03,457 --> 01:16:05,124
Trust me?

1373
01:16:05,126 --> 01:16:06,427
Work with me?

1374
01:16:15,069 --> 01:16:16,302
Okay.

1375
01:16:16,304 --> 01:16:17,602
Hi.

1376
01:16:17,604 --> 01:16:20,438
It's romantic
up here, isn't it?

1377
01:16:20,440 --> 01:16:21,473
Uh...

1378
01:16:21,475 --> 01:16:22,708
At the top of the, uh,

1379
01:16:22,710 --> 01:16:24,610
Empire State Building.

1380
01:16:24,612 --> 01:16:26,277
What are we doing?

1381
01:16:26,279 --> 01:16:28,313
We're Sleepless in Seattleing.

1382
01:16:28,315 --> 01:16:29,749
I'm Tom Hanks,

1383
01:16:29,751 --> 01:16:31,483
you're Meg Ryan.

1384
01:16:31,485 --> 01:16:32,485
Unless you wanna
switch roles,

1385
01:16:32,487 --> 01:16:33,486
ya wanna switch roles?

1386
01:16:33,488 --> 01:16:34,486
I'll be Meg, you be Tom.

1387
01:16:34,488 --> 01:16:35,286
No, I'll be Meg.

1388
01:16:35,288 --> 01:16:36,557
'Kay, I'll be Tom.

1389
01:16:37,158 --> 01:16:38,226
I got you somethin',

1390
01:16:40,494 --> 01:16:41,496
like the movie.

1391
01:16:44,532 --> 01:16:46,531
It's actually a teddy bear.

1392
01:16:46,533 --> 01:16:47,532
What, the rose?

1393
01:16:47,534 --> 01:16:49,501
And she gives it to a kid.

1394
01:16:50,505 --> 01:16:52,037
There's a kid in the movie?

1395
01:16:52,039 --> 01:16:53,304
Yeah, Tom Hanks has a son.
Did you watch it?

1396
01:16:53,306 --> 01:16:54,874
I did, why? I don't
remember there being a kid.

1397
01:16:54,876 --> 01:16:55,875
I gotta rewatch it.

1398
01:16:55,877 --> 01:16:57,143
Definitely a kid.

1399
01:16:57,145 --> 01:16:58,376
What are you guys doing?

1400
01:16:58,378 --> 01:17:00,379
Um...

1401
01:17:00,381 --> 01:17:01,813
we're Sleepless in Seattleing.

1402
01:17:01,815 --> 01:17:03,982
He's butchering it.

1403
01:17:03,984 --> 01:17:04,983
Nerds.

1404
01:17:04,985 --> 01:17:06,451
I'm doing awesome.

1405
01:17:06,453 --> 01:17:07,452
You are actually.

1406
01:17:07,454 --> 01:17:08,454
I am?

1407
01:17:08,456 --> 01:17:09,688
This is good.

1408
01:17:09,690 --> 01:17:10,990
Do they still fall in love

1409
01:17:10,992 --> 01:17:12,357
at the top of the
Empire State Building?

1410
01:17:12,359 --> 01:17:14,160
No, that's-that's
where they met.

1411
01:17:14,162 --> 01:17:15,960
But they were already
in love they are...

1412
01:17:26,140 --> 01:17:27,643
You look really pretty.

1413
01:17:32,246 --> 01:17:33,379
Are you holding my helmet on?

1414
01:17:33,381 --> 01:17:35,417
- Yeah, I got it.
- Oh, thank you.

1415
01:17:36,551 --> 01:17:37,549
C'monah.

1416
01:17:37,551 --> 01:17:38,918
What?

1417
01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:39,919
Let's go.

1418
01:17:39,921 --> 01:17:40,919
Okay.

1419
01:17:40,921 --> 01:17:41,920
Oh, we have to graduate.

1420
01:17:41,922 --> 01:17:43,155
- Hyah.
- Hyah.

1421
01:17:43,157 --> 01:17:44,824
I came here in a cop car.

1422
01:17:44,826 --> 01:17:45,825
Why?

1423
01:17:45,827 --> 01:17:47,393
'Cause I'm cool now.

1424
01:17:47,395 --> 01:17:48,393
That is really cool.

1425
01:17:48,395 --> 01:17:49,394
I'm criminal.

1426
01:17:49,396 --> 01:17:50,396
That's sick.

1427
01:17:50,398 --> 01:17:51,667
I know a criminal.

1428
01:17:52,233 --> 01:17:53,398
It's a long story,

1429
01:17:53,400 --> 01:17:54,567
but it's actually not.

1430
01:17:54,569 --> 01:17:56,201
- It's really not a long story.
- What?

1431
01:17:56,203 --> 01:17:58,403
So, apparently, I need
a licence to drive my moped.

1432
01:17:58,405 --> 01:17:59,772
Uh huh,
I didn't even know that.

1433
01:17:59,774 --> 01:18:01,107
No, neither did I.

1434
01:18:01,109 --> 01:18:02,441
I thought you could
just drive 'em around.

1435
01:18:02,443 --> 01:18:03,541
No.

1436
01:18:03,543 --> 01:18:05,376
What?

1437
01:18:05,378 --> 01:18:07,446
So, that's something that
I'm going to have to deal with.

1438
01:18:07,448 --> 01:18:10,549
Each one of us has a
story of how we got to where we are,

1439
01:18:10,551 --> 01:18:13,085
which most likely
involves study drugs,

1440
01:18:13,087 --> 01:18:14,553
getting blackout drunk,

1441
01:18:14,555 --> 01:18:16,054
and having one night stands.

1442
01:18:16,056 --> 01:18:18,590
We'll tell these stories
at dinner parties

1443
01:18:18,592 --> 01:18:20,459
and to our future children.

1444
01:18:20,461 --> 01:18:24,095
Well, maybe not the
one night stand part.

1445
01:18:24,097 --> 01:18:25,630
Or the blackout drunk part.

1446
01:18:25,632 --> 01:18:27,635
Or the study drugs,
for that matter.

1447
01:18:28,802 --> 01:18:30,468
But maybe our stories
don't have to be

1448
01:18:30,470 --> 01:18:32,440
for anyone but ourselves.

1449
01:18:33,541 --> 01:18:34,874
Your hopeless romantic,

1450
01:18:34,876 --> 01:18:36,976
Blake Conway.

1451
01:18:42,409 --> 01:18:47,409
Subtitles by explosiveskull