RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:32 AM
Hey - I've heard you have some personal concerns about me and that there are some things you'd like to know
AMA
[Alpha] - Today at 3:32 AM
Hm
Lemme like
Finish up
And go get caffeine.
And I'll talk to you
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:38 AM
cool
[Alpha] - Today at 3:46 AM
So I'm not sure where to start
I'm also not sure who thought that it was a good idea to tell you.
Or thought I'd approve.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:51 AM
someone on the mod team offered to play mediator to help quell your concerns
i wasn't going to allow you to do that because the person in between tends to get hurt in that situation
*them
so i came to you instead
[Alpha] - Today at 3:51 AM
Allow me to do that?
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:52 AM
typo
allow them to play mediator
[Alpha] - Today at 3:52 AM
Hm
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:52 AM
if there's something that concerns you about me then we need to communicate
not a proxy
[Alpha] - Today at 3:52 AM
Ok
You start
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:53 AM
i don't have an issue with you at all
so i'm not sure what you want me to say
[Alpha] - Today at 3:53 AM
Oh
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:53 AM
i just heard that you have some concerns with me and i wanted to work them out with you
[Alpha] - Today at 3:54 AM
Well I don't understand how you operate and it annoys me a lot of the time.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:55 AM
at a base level it's pretty simple. i'm relentlessly objective/pragmatic and overall diplomatic except in 2 cases
case 1) one of my boundaries is violated after i say it exists and isn't to be violated again
case 2) someone does anything that hurts someone i care about
[Alpha] - Today at 3:55 AM
Uh huh
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:56 AM
then the diplomacy leaves, and i do what i have to to make sure that 1 or 2 won't happen again
that's basically how i operate
[Alpha] - Today at 3:56 AM
Yeah I don't have appreciation for objectivity when we knew Sonne and Rei were the same person
Then lo
If the process you use is right, the conclusion you reach will be right
And my process was right.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:58 AM
i mean if you recall in the chat i did call her abusive repeatedly and voice my dislike with her. it was a pretty simple case for me. A) We ban her without Entropic's knowledge and he wonders why the fuck we banned his gf or B) We wait until Entropic realizes what's he's doing to him and bans her himself
as you saw
later i shifted towards option C)
give infractions to her whenever she crossed the slightest of lines in order to help the process along a bit so that maybe he can get some distance from her
i don't know rei nor entropic
[Alpha] - Today at 3:59 AM
I do
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:59 AM
i can't walk up to entropic and go "yo dog your gf is an asshole"
[Alpha] - Today at 3:59 AM
Relative to my perspective, we're dancing around a foregone conclusion
RAZRr1275 - Today at 3:59 AM
what conclusion and dancing how?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:00 AM
That they were indeed the same person.
Which was something you denied in the beginning despite, what I considered to be mounting evidence for that.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:00 AM
sure i wanted more evidence before i made any decisions
once i had the evidence i acted accordingly
i stand by my actions and i would repeat them
[Alpha] - Today at 4:01 AM
Yeah that's the main difference.
I don't stand by your actions.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:02 AM
we aren't going to agree all the time so i'm not sure why you need to
the mod team has 6 people on it for a reason
the whole team isn't going to always agree
i think we resolved the rei situation as best as we could
i don't like that sam gets hurt
but i've known enough people with abusive exes to know that there is no way that ends without someone getting hurt
it sucks
but you can't pry people apart in a situation like that
one has to jettison the other on their own accord
[Alpha] - Today at 4:03 AM
No the best we could have done was banning her when it happened.
Like I suggested.
Which he even gave permission to do.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:05 AM
I think you're wrong, and the rest of the mod team agreed with me. Like I said, we have 6 people because majority rules. You aren't going to be on the majority side all the time
[Alpha] - Today at 4:05 AM
And therein lies the difference.
I'm sorry, the difference between us isn't personal.
It's ideological.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:06 AM
I see that as a good thing
on a team there should be ideological differences
if everyone is in agreement in terms of ideology all the time, something is wrong because someone's not going to see something that the other does
it's okay for us to disagree on what the appropriate course of action was in that case
i personally don't give a fuck about who was right or wrong in identifying that sonne was rei
i'm simply happy that he's moved on
[Alpha] - Today at 4:07 AM
I do.
And it's the blindness to subjectivity that makes the two of us so opposed.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:07 AM
why hold onto that? why can't you just be happy that your friend is out of an abusive relationship?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:08 AM
Because it didn't have to happen.
We had enough information to prevent it from happening in the first place.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:08 AM
I'm sorry, but banning her from the server was not going to keep them from dming
Entropic is a grown man
we do not make decisions for him
[Alpha] - Today at 4:09 AM
It was going to keep many things that did transpire on the server from that
Which in turn would have lessened the impact of the end of the relationship.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:13 AM
they make excuses for each other
look, I don't know if you've been in an abusive relationship or how they work but in abusive relationships, people often get reliant on each other
they make excuses for each other
they stand by each other no matter how much one party gets hurt
the only way out of that is to get hurt so much that you can't take it anymore
i know you'd like to think that we could've done something different or better
and I wish we could
but there's only one way that ends
the abusive party doing progressively more abusive things
and the abused party making excuse after excuse until finally they get so hurt they can't do it anymore
[Alpha] - Today at 4:14 AM
I don't believe this would have been the case. He gave permission to handle her.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:15 AM
you can believe what you want, and like i said, you're free to disagree with me
but the point is
we were a mod team
this is not just you
it's a collection of people who make decisions together
you get overruled
i am not going to let you throw that on me because everyone except you agreed with me
if you think that's on me, then please talk to me, hellfire, westlose and jill
beacuse all of them said the same shit i did
[Alpha] - Today at 4:16 AM
Yeah
That's a collection of people being wrong together.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:16 AM
then why am i the only one you seem to be holding it against?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:17 AM
Because you guys were the ones who came to me about sorting out differences between you and I.
I still disagree with them about the exact same thing.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:18 AM
if it's an issue that applies to the entire mod team and not just me then why do you have concerns about me specifically rejoining? it seems more appropriate to be more concerned with the fact that you don't trust any of the other mods
if you can't handle being outnumbered sometimes i have no idea why the fuck you're part of a team
[Alpha] - Today at 4:20 AM
The subject is whether or not I can or would prefer to work with you.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:20 AM
and what i'm hearing is that you can't work with someone who disagrees with you on one specific issue which is something you're saying as you're currently working with 4 other people who disagreed with you on the same thing
so considering this
i ask again
what is the issue with me specifically that does not apply to the rest of the mod team
is there anything that's specific to me? because it seems contradictory to me that you can't work with me because i disagreed with you on rei while everyone else on the mod team who was assigned with dealing with the rei situation are people who you're currently willing to work with
i'm legitimately curious what makes me special in that case
[Alpha] - Today at 4:27 AM
Were asked whether or not i specifically can or can't work with you and for what reasons.
The difference is that I thought about this cause the question was posed to me.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:27 AM
okay
so you can work with me then because you can work with the rest of the mods
or you can't work with any of us because you don't trust our decisionmaking regarding rei/
?
those are your two choices
[Alpha] - Today at 4:28 AM
I can not choose either.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:30 AM
okay well i hope you stand by that and abstain from voting due to those reasons when you discuss whether or not i should rejoin the mod team and state that what you think on the matter is a basis of ideological difference and nothing personal
is that something you're willing to do because based on your not giving me a choice between those options, and your statement that it's ideological and not personal, that's the truth
and i hope you're a man who stands by his word
the thing for me is this
if you're going to say this
[Alpha] - Today at 4:28 AM
I can not choose either.
you have nothing to say on the matter of me rejoining because it's colored by ideology and has nothing to do with me
if you do say something on the matter
then I suggest you say what about it is specific to me, or take it up with the rest of the mods because I think they'd like to know that you don't trust them and would like to work it out with you
we have a chat with just us and not entropic
if there's unresolved bad bad blodo i'm sure we'd all be willing to work it out
[Alpha] - Today at 4:38 AM
You have a chat with just you guys and not entropic.
I'm not a part of it because Sonne is gone.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:39 AM
you're still in it actually
if you want i can tag you
lol there we go
[Alpha] - Today at 4:39 AM
Now I'm not.
Look. I would rather keep any relationship any of you have with me strictly professional.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:40 AM
okay
[Alpha] - Today at 4:40 AM
Like, 100% strictly professional.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:40 AM
if it's 100% professional
what are your professional reasons i should not rejoin the mod team?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:40 AM
I don't agree with those decisions.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:41 AM
and how can i help fix them?
so are you going to continue to hold this against me until the day that you die or are you going to move on
[Alpha] - Today at 4:42 AM
I don't hold it against you.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:42 AM
okay
[Alpha] - Today at 4:42 AM
I was asked why
I said why
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:42 AM
then why should i not rejoin the mod team?
and follow up question
do the 4 other mods who agreed with me deserve to be mods?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:42 AM
My decision is confidential
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:43 AM
i think it's pretty disrespectful of you to have an issue with me that you have no issue of resolving
*intention
of resolving
[Alpha] - Today at 4:44 AM
You asked me.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:44 AM
how can we resolve it?
i'd be more than willing to work with you
but as they say, it takes two to tango
[Alpha] - Today at 4:44 AM
Sorry.
You are pressuring me to give an explanation I don't owe to you.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:46 AM
okay well i'm not sure what i've done that makes you dislike me so much that you don't have enough respect of me to work an issue out with me, but if this is how you'd like to close things, fine
if you'd ever like to talk to me in the future about it, i'm all ears. I don't dislike you, and would be more than willing to become friends someday, but one thing I value in people is communication, and I can't quell any concerns if you don't communicate
[Alpha] - Today at 4:49 AM
Ok so
You were never interested in my perspective.
At any point in time.
Beyond this discussion.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:50 AM
i didn't know you had any problems with me before this discussion
[Alpha] - Today at 4:50 AM
Every time you have ever spoken to me, it is always to prove something to me.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:50 AM
because you didn't tell me you had any problems with me
[Alpha] - Today at 4:50 AM
And I am not interested in a relationship like that.
I do not want to patch things up with you.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:51 AM
i don't try to prove anything to anyone
i just act like myself
why do you think i'm trying to prove things to you?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:51 AM
Well yourself gives the vibe of it to the extent that you saying that isn't very meaningful to it.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:51 AM
like what specifically have i done?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:52 AM
Like the diatribe about you being type 8 in enneagram.
Like
I don't care what type you are.
For any amount of time.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:52 AM
when like a couple days ago?
[Alpha] - Today at 4:52 AM
Idk when it was.
And I didn't care then
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:52 AM
i mean i have an 8 fix
[Alpha] - Today at 4:52 AM
So?
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:52 AM
if people talk about having an 8 fix i'm giong to join
[Alpha] - Today at 4:52 AM
I don't care
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:52 AM
i don't expect you to
[Alpha] - Today at 4:52 AM
You tagged me like a million times.
I don't care.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:53 AM
i tag you when i'm talking to you so that you know that i'm talking to you
that's what tags are for
[Alpha] - Today at 4:53 AM
Yeah
If it's about your enneagram type
I don't care.
In all contexts
I don't care.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:54 AM
okay thanks for letting me know that you don't care what i have to say about anything
i'll proceed to talk as if you don't exist
[Alpha] - Today at 4:54 AM
If it's about your enneagram type, I don't
I'm sorry. I just don't
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:55 AM
i haven't talked to you about my enneagram in like 2 months
[Alpha] - Today at 4:55 AM
Yeah this is a single piece where you talk to me and I don't feel like you're interested in my perspective about it
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:55 AM
i listened to what you had to say and i decided you were wrong
[Alpha] - Today at 4:55 AM
Unless is circles back to you.
I don't
Care
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:56 AM
you do seem to care since you keep bringing it up
[Alpha] - Today at 4:56 AM
Great
Let's move on from it.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:57 AM
k cool
so
another case where you feel like i'm trying to impress you?
that isn't from 2 months ago and irrelevant
[Alpha] - Today at 4:57 AM
It is relevant
As long as I say it is
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:57 AM
then you care then
but anyway
lets move on
[Alpha] - Today at 4:57 AM
Because the topic is my perception of you.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:57 AM
another case that makes you think that i'm trying to impress you
[Alpha] - Today at 4:58 AM
It's not about that. The initial complaint is your lack of understanding or lack of interest in understanding what my perspective is.
If it doesn't circle directly back to your interests, then it's not something you care about.
And that is my perception of you.
This is a single manifestation of this exact thing.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 4:59 AM
2 questions
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:00 AM
1) why do you think i lack interest in understanding your perspective? i can understand your perspective and still decide that you're wrong
2) if i only care about my immediate interests how do i manage to maintain meaningful relationships in my life?
[Alpha] - Today at 5:00 AM
We're talking about my perception of you relative to me.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:01 AM
right and i'm interrogating that perception
[Alpha] - Today at 5:01 AM
It's just poor reasoning to go from my perception of you to asserting this perception as fact.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:01 AM
i have no fucking clue why you have it
[Alpha] - Today at 5:01 AM
My wrist is sore.
Can you call me during this instead?
Cause typing is exhausting.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:01 AM
nope i have a roommate and he's sleeping
[Alpha] - Today at 5:02 AM
Ok
You are not interested in who I am, and by extension the reasons I do the things I do.
That is my perception of you.
Which is why I do not want to be involved with you.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:04 AM
why would i be interested in who you are? you just spent several hours holding one event against me, telling me i'm trying to impress you, and repeatedly saying you don't care about things that i have to say
that doesn't sound like an exciting person tome
[Alpha] - Today at 5:04 AM
Sounds good.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:04 AM
now
[Alpha] - Today at 5:04 AM
I guess we're at an impasse
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:04 AM
if you'd like to work through these issues
[Alpha] - Today at 5:04 AM
Darn.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:04 AM
then yeah
maybe i'd want to get to know you better
[Alpha] - Today at 5:04 AM
I don't.
No. This is why I don't care to be involved with you.
I'm not interested in patching up
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:05 AM
okay i'll play your game
give me one reason i should want to get to know you?
[Alpha] - Today at 5:05 AM
Can't think of any
Bye.
RAZRr1275 - Today at 5:05 AM
alrighty