Princess Eighteen's Birthday

>"Happy birthday, Princess Eighteen!"
>"Burfday?" your precious unicorn fluffy asks.
>"That's right!  You've lived here for a whole week, and you're still technically alive!  That's longer than any of your predecessors!"
>She laughs.  "Prefadesser?  What's dat, daddy?"
>You stare at the mountain of rotting fluffy corpses behind her.
>Princess Eighteen beams at you.  "Pwincess wuvs you daddy!"
>"Daddy loves you too!  Now go play with your friends."
>Princess Eighteen frowns.  She glances at the pile of death.
>"Pwincess no wike her fwends..." she tears up.
>"What?!" you snap.  "You ungrateful bitch!  Your friends like YOU!"
>"Fwends cold an' no smew pwetty..." she cries.  "Daddy, wan' new fwends...  Wan' go ou'side."
>"YOU CAN NEVER GO OUTSIDE, YOU STUPID WHORE!!"
>Princess Eighteen poops herself and starts bawling.
>"Pwincess is wonely, daddy!  Fwends scawry!  Fwends no talk!  Fwends no walkie!"
>"You ungrateful little bitch," you scowl at her.  "I've given you EVERYTHING!  A meal a day!  An entire room for yourself, filled with friends!  They're all beautiful unicorns, just like you!!  Are you saying you'd rather play with a FILTHY PEGASUS?!"
>She just keeps sobbing, cowering in the mess she made.
>You lock her in her saferoom, and go down to your basement for a breather.
>One quick snort later, you're right as rain!
>Back in the saferoom.
>"There's my precious little fluffy!" you beam.
>"Daddy?" Princess Eighteen sniffles.  "Daddy no angwy at Pwincess now?"
>"Angry?" you laugh.  "I could never be angry at you!  You're my special little girl."
>Her mood clears up instantly, but she's still covered in her own shit.
>"Pwincess wuv daddy," she says, "Pwincess no smew pwetty fo' daddy.  Pwincess feew bad..."
>"You know we can't bath you, Princess..." you grin.  "The bath is still clogged with Princess Twelve.  Now eat your dinner and go to bed."
>As you get up, she looks confused.  "Dinna?"
>You gesture to the mountain of dead fluffy ponies.  "Yes, dinner.  Eat up.  Goodnight precious!"
>You can hear fluffy sobbing with love and happiness as you lock the door behind you.
>You're such a good father.  You love your princess so much.