Sir Anon the Brave (MLP/RGRE)

>Sir Anon the brave knight wishes to prove that he can be a hero to these sexist little mares.
>That's why when he hears about a being known as "The Nightmare" who apparently possessed a princess until later gaining their own physical form, he rushes out to find and defeat it.
>When he does meet his foe, she's a tall, elegant mare with obsidian armor that both protected her lithe form as well as accentuate her perfect curves.
>Later, Anon returns to the ponies, who are relieved, yet confused to see the human safe and well.
>They could have sworn a rescue party would be needed to get him back from that monster's clutches.
>They ask how he escaped, and he explains that he didn't.
>Princess Celestia and Luna hear this and ask, "Are... you saying that you defeated the Nightmare?"
"Not... exactly, no. Also, I'm a warlock now, so... Sorry about this."
>The man opens his hands and starts firing black fireballs at the royals as his new mistress swoops in from above.
>Thus how the Fighter Anon who claimed to be a knight became multiclassed as a warlock, too.
>Funny, he always thought he'd end up as a paladin at some point.
>We all make mistakes in the heat of passion.

>"Yes! Yes I've finally won!" crows Nightmare as she stands before Luna and Celestia in stockades.
"We sure did," Anon agrees with a nod. "Now what?"
>"Now what? Now what?! I'll tell you now what! I'm going to torture these fools to death while their subjects watch helplessly! Muwhaha!"
"Oh... And then?"
>"Then?"
"Do you rule over Equestria? You have a tax plan in place? Surely you don't just want to keep all of their rules and regulations in place," Anon says as he gestures towards the dethroned rulers.
>"Of course not! I'll make a much better tax plan-"
"And wellfare programs. Also changing the courts. Sure some laws won't match up with your vision of Equestria, so we've got a lot of legal documents to edit."
>"Ah, that... sounds like a lot of work."
"It is," agrees Anon. "We'll probably be so busy that we won't even have time for cuddles for over a year."
>"N-no cuddles?"
"Nope. And snootle boops might be out as well. This is going to be exhausting work, and I doubt either of us will have the energy for such pleasantries."
>"S-surely it is not that much work, is it?"
"Well, look at these two. Celestia and Luna here are two of the most desirable mares in Equestria, with not only divine looks and stature, but power both mystic and political, and yet they've been single for millennia if what I heard is true.No doubt the trials and tribulations of leadership keep them far to occupied for romance. And that's just from them maintaining the status quo, not reworking the entire system as we must."
>He sighs and shakes his head.
"If only we could leave these poor sots the endless burden of the throne while we run away together to live the carefree, passionate, love-filled lives of traveling adventurers. Seeing new sights, meeting new people, slaying monsters, and sleeping under the beautiful night sky with nothing but each other's embrace to keep us warm."
>"But that sounds really nice..." Nightmare murmurs demurely, before getting a determined glint in her eye

>Celestia sighs as she signs another document.
>Work has been especially difficult these last three weeks due to all the noisy construction going on around the castle to repair the damages from Nightmare's attack.
>That, and also-
>"Did you read the paper today, sister!" Luna yelled as she burst in through the door. "That poor-excuse for night goddess slayed another hydra that had been terrorizing a hamlet, and they threw a massive celebration in her honor!"
>"Yes, I heard," Celestia said as she read through a document. "I suppose we should be happy that she has turned her destruction impulses towards the protection of our little ponies."
>"But that's not all," Luna continues as if not hearing her sister. "The paper goes on to slander US for having not taken care of the beast ourselves, or the Ursa from last week, or the kraken the week before that! Nevermind that we already do so much, and I tirelessly protect their dreams. No! Kill a few overgrown nuisances, and suddenly she's the greatest thing since sliced bread!"
>"It's just a fad," Celestia explains. "A new alicorn on the scene who's not a princess; of course ponies will be fascinated with her. No doubt-"
>"And she's pregnant!"
>"... What?"
>"That celebration I mentioned? It's still going on! Apparently it's gone from celebration over the hydra's defeat, to her announcing she's bearing Sir Anon's foal!"
>Luna throws the paper down and stomps on it, angry tears in her eyes.
>"That should be us! Do we not deserve a foal of our own, sister?"
>"Well, Anon said it himself, we're too busy-"
>"Oh please! Don't cling to that pretty lie," Luna snaps, then sniffles. "You know it as well as I, we are both single because stallions are too intimidated to approach you, and I... they keep calling me this derogatory 'sperg' thing. It's Luna the Lunatic all over again and I'm going to be single forever!"
>She collapses then and starts to cry, leaving Celestia stunned.
>Truly, Anon's kindness was crueler than he knew

Meanwhile, Nightmare and Anon have stepped away from the celebrations that have gone far into the night to get some space.
>they flop down on their backs, staring up at the stars.
"Tis truly beautiful, the night sky," Anon comments.
>"I suppose that brat Luna can do at least that right," Nightmare agrees. "Those ponies should give it a rest already and enjoy it, as well."
"They're just happy, both for their freedom from the beast, and for us and our blessing."
>"Hmph, I don't knwo why you saw the need to go spreading that around. It's not any one else's business."
"Apologies, but I was merely to excited to contain myself."
>"Colts... So, what should we do next?" she asks.
"Hmm... Perhaps world domination."
>Nightmare blinks.
>"What? While I'm not opposed to the idea, I thought you were all about protecting the innocent and all that silly stuff. Why try to dominate the entire world?"
"Simple, because you are my entire world, my Nightmare,"
>"Aww..." she sighs, then blinks and rolls to face him. "Wait, dominate?"
>He rolls over on his side and starts running a hand through her mane.
"What can I say? Being a warlock has had an effect on me."
>Suddenly, he grips the back of her head tightly and pulls her in for a forceful kiss.
>He hooves flare for a moment before she moans.
>He rolls on top of her as she wraps her front legs around him.
>It's a beautiful night.