Caruso Bloodline [Bloodline Feat]
You have the blood of David Caruso in you
Bonus: You gain +1 Charisma

Caruso's Quips
Pre-req: Caruso Bloodline
Bonus: You always get the last word in a situation before the action starts, granting you a +3 Initative Bonus and making you immune to silence for the first round of combat

Caruso's Shades
Pre-req: Caruso Bloodline
Bonus: You gain a +4 bonus against gaze attacks and [Light] Spells

Puttingo on the shades.
Pre-req: Caruso Bloodline, Caruso's Shades
Bonus: 1/day, you can cast Fireball as a 10th level wizard, with the exception that it may be cast within 200ft of you - it does not need to be in line of sight. If it is in line of effect, but not line of sight, it is as a 12th level wizard

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Pre-req: Caruso Bloodline, Caruso's Quips, Caruso's Shades, putting on the shades
Bonus: You gain a Bard Cohort equal to your level minus one, who can cast Shout as a spell-like ability 3 times a day