Parse Paste With Variables

$(user) gave everyone cookies! Sadly $(random.chatter) didn't get one...
$(user) gave $(random.chatter) $(random.#) cookies! <3
$(user) and $(random.chatter) went head to head! After the dust settled... $(user) emerged victorious!
$(user) and $(random.chatter) went head to head! After the dust settled... $(random.chatter) emerged victorious!