fuck idk anymore

Only meant those words as a tease, to be fair- she knows that he's grateful for it, deep down. Even if he wasn't, it wouldn't be the first time she'd gone and done something simply for the sake of doing it. Lisa's got this terrible habit of showing her heart off to people in little, unexpected ways. Gestures like this weren't done lightly; especially since she hadn't run any of these decisions past her brother. How could she, after all? He wasn't here. None of the other Rogues had the authority to make these kinds of choices, but if Mick was anything to go by the decision to start fresh with a new bunch of Rogues was becoming a lot more appealing than waiting around for the rest of the old crew to show up and disappoint her. Takes a seat in the air and stuffs her hands back into the pockets of her yellow hoodie, tilting her head over at Cait as she enters- oop, she looks really cute in that lab coat of hers, ahem. Remember that tension from before? It was back, for Lisa at least, and it nearly causes her to stumble over her next set of words. "G- well I uh, wanted to.. ask the both of you if you wanted to be a part of the crew. I'm really the only Rogue left, instead of Mick- but he's gone straight from what I can tell, and I don't want to set him off a good course." Rubs gently at the back of her head, letting out a little sigh. "So- maybe we're like, the nouveau rogues or something. I dunno. I'm shit at making names up for things." Of course, that would mean that they actually say yes to the offer. Downcast gaze hoods her eyes for a moment, and she clicks her tongue. "Both of you have become really important parts of my life as of late, whether you decided to or not. These gifts aren't just me asking you to be part of the team, it's-" S I G H, now she had to get all sappy and she hated this part. "I don't want either of you to leave. I'm not... great at being touchy-feely in a serious sense, and neither of you have to say yes, or feel obligated to stay." Few people ever did. Choosing to bring someone into your life means being able to accept that inevitable disappointment. "But now at least you know that you both have a room here, and me, if you ever need.. I guess."

Well, now Lenny was officially going to kill her whenever he got home. Not only did she recruit a serial killer, she also recruited a hotter, more efficient version of himself. Actually- you know what? Fuck Lenny. Seriously. What would give him the right to say something to her, when she was just doing her best? Hf. He always does this kind of crap. Unless he's been kidnapped by a bunch of aliens, she's going to remain pissed off at him for being gone- and nothing he could say was going to bother her. Were there going to be bumps along the way? Probably. No, more like definitely. The three of them were their own ticking time bombs, each and every one of them unique in every facet. Yet somehow, it worked? She instinctively shudders when Cait's fingers brush over her, but stops when she realizes that it wasn't what she was expecting at all. Anxiety convinced her to skate around, above, and over the tension because of the feedback she's used to receiving when it comes to discussing feelings. Sure, she'll flirt and tell you jokes all day- but getting her to talk about anything beyond the surface was like pulling teeth. "Guess it's easier to just put my cards on the table for you both, so you know exactly who you're getting into it with." Inhales- just spit it out, Lisa, you'll feel better. Rip the band-aid off. "I wasn't supposed to be a part of this. Least, that's what everyone likes to say. I grew up in Keystone. Generic trailer trash with an abusive father and a mother that couldn't take staring at her black eyes in the mirror anymore. Honestly? I don't blame her for leaving." Shook her head, biting her lip so hard the metallic taste of blood nips at her tongue. "Then, it was Lenny who started wearing them. Until he got sick of it and left, too. Guess who's turn it was after that? ... Lenny said I'd bee all right, that dad would never hurt me because he knew how big I could make it as a skater." Could feel the tears welling up in her eyes- and, despite that, she continues. They needed to hear this, and she wasn't likely to say it again any time soon. "I never wanted to leave the skating rink. It was the only place I was safe. The only place I was free." A ribbon catches a stray tear as it threatens to fall down the curve of her cheek. Deep breath. "One night, I fell asleep after practice. Came home too late. Pops was a military man, then a cop- so you probably already know his opinion on punctuality. He... kept a gun locked up in the trailer. Didn't trust any of the neighbors, and rightly so. They all hated us after all. Screams aren't good for anyone's sleep schedule." With that, she lifts up her sweater and shows them the faded scar of a bullet wound on her right hip. "Took me out right before the national championship. After I healed up, they dunked me into foster homes until I decided to look for my brother instead. He didn't want me to be a rogue, but you know me. I do what I want." A twitch of a smile, hidden beneath the weight of her words. "I decided to throw my life away for the sake of giving myself a new one. We were all doing good, for a while- on top of the world. Even Barry Allen couldn't catch us for the longest time." Oh, Barry Allen. That was another person she needed to speak to; but she'd keep that pressed into the back of her mind for a while. "Getting our powers was probably the worst thing that could've happened to us. Some scientist told us we could be better if we trusted him with our tech. He lied. The explosion his machine caused... It was catastrophic." Feels herself sinking down to the floor, hands clasped firmly against her head. Reliving all of this at once was admittedly a bad move, but- no turning back. "I got put into a coma, Sam got trapped into the mirror world and the others had to deal with that on their own. Everything just kinda... shattered after that. We couldn't put ourselves back together quite the same after the explosion, even after I woke up." There was more... so much more she could've told them- but hopefully she'd spilled enough of her guts for them to understand what she was trying to say. They'd both better be ready for some grabby ribbons, because she really needed it. "Too long didn't read version of it is, I'm trouble, you both deserve better than a punk like me-- but I swear to God if either of you leave I'm tying you up with ribbons and tossing you down into a mine shaft. No escape." Tugs them both closer, hf.