Tusktaker's Secret Part 16

	Lorka stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. She was a jumble of raw emotions, anger, frustration, loneliness, but most of all sadness. This was bullshit. She’d worked this hard to get Thomas to come out of his shell and confront her dad about their relationship and everything just fell apart? Fuck this! Rage filled Lorka, and with a fearsome bellow, she smashed her fist into an unfortunate sapling. The poor thing practically disintegrated, showering the area in debris. Lorka sank to her knees, clutching her hand. Her knuckles were bleeding. Tears were flooding down her cheek as she sobbed, she couldn’t tell if it was because of Thomas or the pain. Hell, it was probably both.

After a couple minutes, Lorka was able to compose herself. She did her best to wipe back her tears before she headed home.
The walk back was uneventful. She tried to keep Thomas out of her thoughts, but it was impossible. When she arrived at the house, she decided to sneak in the backdoor. Hopefully no one would be in the kitchen. She quietly nudged open the back door to find Jor’ak pulling a beer out of the fridge. Of course, that was just her luck tonight.

“Slip off to see your little pet humie?” He said with just a “hint” of disapproval. Jor’ak had his back turned to her as he continued to pull food out of the fridge.

Lorka didn’t even have enough feeling to be angry at him. “Yeah.”

He snorted. “I don’t understand why you’re dating him, Lorka.”

“We aren’t dating anymore.” She told him, trying to keep her voice neutral as possible.

 “So you finally came to your senses and broke it off with him, eh? I’m proud of you, Bone-Splitter!”

“Thomas broke up with me.” She said. This time, her tone was a great deal less neutral. Her father’s callousness made her furious.

“What?” He almost dropped his beer in surprise. Jor’ak turned around; she could tell he was startled by her appearance. I must look like a mess, Lorka thought.

“He said he didn’t want to come between me and you, and that he wasn’t worth the trouble. He told me he lost the chance to have a relationship with his dad, he didn’t want the same thing to happen to me. He said he didn’t want you to use him as an excuse to keep me out of Pharmacology.” Lorka’s words were laced with anger and venom as she spoke. She swore she saw her father cringed as she spoke.

She started to walk out of the kitchen when Jor’ak put his hand on her shoulder. “Lorka, are you okay?” He looked genuinely concerned. But it was too late for that now; the damage had already been done.
Lorka snorted. “You got what you wanted, isn’t that enough?”

She could tell that hurt her dad. His hand slid off her shoulder and he gave her a wounded look before he lumbered off to some other part of the house. Lorka knew she shouldn’t have been so hostile. She he was just worried about her, but he was still the reason Thomas left. She shook her head in frustration. For now, she just wanted to be left alone.

Lorka made her way up the stairs to her room, eager to avoid seeing her mother. Radha was usually a great comfort to her, but today was different. Lorka kicked open the door to her room and pulled out a small chest from her closet. It contained all the books she’d saved over the years, with authors like Shakespeare, Tennyson, Coleridge, Bradbury, and more recently Lovecraft, Burroughs, and Vonnegut. She took out a couple textbooks she’d need to study for college and began to make a small pile out of them next to the chest.
After a couple minutes of stacking, she heard someone give a gentle rap on the door frame. Her mother was standing her doorway, a concerned look on her face.

“Daughter, are you alright?”

Lorka turned away from her, pretending to be busy stacking her books. “I’m fine.”

Radha walked over to her daughter and examined her wounded knuckles. “You don’t look fine.”

Lorka jerked her hand back. “I said I’m fine!”

“You are anything but fine, I can tell that with my own eyes. Your knuckles are bleeding and it looks like you’ve been crying. And your father said Thomas broke up with you?”

“Yeah, he did.” She murmured.

Her mother's lips curled into a frown and she gave her daughter a sympathetic look. “I’m so sorry, daughter. Is there anything I can do for you?”

Lorka sighed as she closed the steamer chest. “Could you toss this out for me?”

“Isn’t that your book chest?”

“Yes.”

“Why would you want to throw these out? You love these!”

“Dad wants me to be a real Tusktaker. I’m giving up on this garbage. Only thing I need is my course work textbooks and some plant guide books. Everything else is just casual reading.”

“Lorka…Do you really want to get rid of all these books?”

“What’s the point Mom? I don’t have anyone to share it with anymore! It was bad enough when I was alone and I had them to myself…”

“But now all they do is making you think of Thomas?” Radha said, finishing her daughter’s sentence.
Lorka could feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes as she spoke, “I’m so mad at Thomas He’s such an idiot! We could have worked it out!” Lorka completely lost her composure as she felt tears dripping down her face. She was ashamed of herself, orcs weren’t supposed to cry when bad things happened to them; they were supposed to either fix their problems or get over it.

Radha embraced her daughter in a hug, pressing Lorka’s face into her bosom. Radha stroked her daughter’s hair as she continued to cry. Lorka continued to sniffle a bit but her mother’s warm embrace comforted her greatly. “I’m sorry daughter. I’d do anything to fix all of this.”

“I know.” Lorka sniffed.

After Lorka calmed down a bit, Radha fetched an herbal poultice and applied it to Lorka’s wound. Lorka had changed into a pair of comfy pink pajamas and was sitting on her bed while her mother tended to her wound.

 “What am I going to do, Mom?” she said quietly.
“You are going to rest and try not to think about what happened today. Then I’m going to have a long talk with your father.” She said.

Lorka always respected her mother’s ability to take charge, though she didn’t know if talking to her Dad would change anything.
She gave Lorka a reassuring smile as she finished applying the medicine. “Don’t give up yet, Lorka. Love can be hard sometimes.  I know Thomas still cares about you. As long as you two still love each other, there is hope.” Radha gave her daughter a peck on the cheek and started to walk out of the room. “Do you still want me to take this?” she said, gesturing to the book chest.

Lorka nodded. Her books couldn’t offer her the escape she’d enjoyed in the past. They were just a reminder Thomas was gone.

“Alright, if that’s what you want. Good night daughter. I love you.” She picked up the chest with one arm and began to walk out of the room.

“Love you too, Mom” Lorka said. Her mother turned out the lights as she left, leaving Lorka alone in the dark.

Lorka tried to sleep, but she found herself tossing and turning, too stressed out to relax. Her thoughts kept coming back to Thomas. A strong orc wouldn’t let herself be torn up by this. She’d get over it, move on, and be better for it. So why couldn’t stop feeling miserable without him? Maybe they key was to be the person her clan and her father wanted her to be. Maybe she shouldn’t go into science. If she couldn’t have Thomas, she could at least have her clan. Her mind buzzed with plans for the future before her exhaustion caught up with her and she fell into a deep but troubled sleep.