Hillsborough County has recently hired a new wild animal expert Dr. Heeso Funke. He has had his past experiences in New York with platypus, Boston with voles, and Cleveland with roaming elephants.The Hillsborough County Commission and County Commissioner Al Higginbotham have felt the need to expand the County Animal Control Department to create a Division of Warthog elimination.

Dr. Funke holds a doctorate in an unusual mammal study from the University of Zimbabwe.He has been in Riverview for two years now and has been granted a six-figure position recently. His book titled “The Only Good Warthog is a Dead Warthog” explains his childhood trauma and experiences with warthogs. His goal is to inform and warn people of the danger that warthogs carry and eliminating warthogs.

Higginbotham has claimed that the agriculture programs and services have millions of dollars invested in them. The destruction of crops would be a big hit to the economy of Hillsborough County The idea of warthog elimination was then proposed and has passed by commissioner vote at 4:3.

With further information, it has been found that Dr. Funke isn’t what he seems to be. With his progress at New York, Boston, and Cleveland, it had been said by the Boston Mayor O'Flaherty “He’s a con artist.” The 3 mayors have noted that Dr. Funke really hasn’t done anything in their city for the past years. They have claimed that they really don't have any platypus, vole, or roaming elephants as a problem in their cities. There has also been no complaints or sightings of a warthog in Hillsborough County. At all three cities, Funke has had a six-figure salary. The mayor's campaigns have all be sponsored and funded at least 5 people of with the surname of Funke at $10,000 each. Funke has stated that he was good friends with all of the past mayors.