Best email received to date

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Dear Harry Zhang.

Over the course of the last 4 months, we have received multiple reports of fraudulent emails coming from your domain. We find this action extremely incriminating, and we have decided to report your domain address to the President of the HTTP protocol. In this process, we have also included your email address, your street address, your parents' name, your grandparents' name, and your great grandparents' name. We have also collected information regarding your abnormal sexuality, sexual practices and fetishes through hidden cameras located both your bedroom, as well as your wife's bedroom.

We were required to publish this information due to HTTP Protocol Law §59.45 subsection 45 paragraph 17b line 27 and character 4. We are not responsible for any outcomes of this action, as such actions are endorsed by your great great grandfather. You may experience inconvenience regarding your ability to find a job, your ability to find a sexual partner and your ability to live. This information is also reported to the police databases, and you may experience problems with police background checks. The release of this information is beneficial as it can reduce catastrophic damages caused by your great grandmother's abusive relationship with your great-great grandfather.

If you would like us to attempt to contact the President of the HTTP Protocol and revert this process, please reply to this email within the 17 seconds, with a piece of government photo-ID containing your name, address, date of birth, mother's maiden name, sexual orientation, as well as your expected date of death. You will also need to include a document listing your entire family tree at least 5 generations into the future and 5 generation into the past. This family tree must include all relations, including affairs, and sexual encounters. Finally, you will also need to provide a certificate proving that your entire systems network has been audited by a professional certified by both the NSA and head of state of North Korea. Failure to include any of the above documents and this request will be promptly ignored. Please note that we will try our best to revert our process, but we can not guarantee anything.

Thank you for your cooperation,
Jacky Liao

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Jacky Liao
Senior Security Manager
Liao Inc.

me@jackyliao.me
(911) 314 1592

This message (including any attachments) may contain confidential, proprietary, privileged and/or private information. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended  recipient of this message, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the message and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this message or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

PRIVACY POLICY - Any information sent to this email will be considered non-confidential and will be treated as such. We may publicly publish all information in any response to this email without prior permission. This includes but is not limited to documents containing personal information, picture of bare humans, and sender email addresses.
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