HERE'S A RECIPE FOR COOKIES

uncle hax's home-grown artisanal organic shit-cookies
(no but seriously they're regular cookies)

ingredients:
2 1/4 cup of flour (if you want it extra fluffy, add two extra cups of flour)
2 eggs
1 cup of butter (MAKE SURE THIS THING'S BEEN SITTING OUT FOR A WHILE, DON'T PUT A SOLID BRICK IN STRAIGHT FROM THE FRIDGE!!)
3/4 cup granulated white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda

2 cups chocolate
1 cup nuts
(I've separated the above because, like, it's not my business to tell you what to put in your cookies. You're a champ. You know what you like. I believe in you.)

okay so first of all you'll want TWO bowls, a big one and a small one. DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE I DID AND DO IT ALL IN ONE, THIS IS BAD AND YOU'RE GOING TO WASTE A TON OF INGREDIENTS IN SO DOING!!

in the small one:
- dump the flour, salt, and baking soda
- mix

in the big one:
- dump the butter, sugars, and vanilla extract
- mix until creamy.
	- if you made the mistake of not waiting long enough for the butter to mix into the stuff for a creamy texture, stick it in the microwave for like, maybe 20-30 seconds.
- add the eggs, one at a time! make sure the first one is thoroughly mixed before adding the second one.
- gradually mix in the small bowl of flour/salt/etc. we should be getting doughy right about now.
- add in your nuts and chocolate. or, y'know, MsMs. or Reese's. whatever you so choose. you're the boss.

STICK THAT BIG BOWL IN THE FRIDGE OVERNIGHT. 24 HOURS IS BEST, BUT MAYBE YOU WANT THAT COOKIE GOODNESS SOONER? GO FOR IT.

okay now you've cooled your dough. or maybe you didn't. i'm not your mom. okay now:

- on the day of baking, preheat your oven to 375F.
- now you're gonna want a baking tray or some such. maybe you're gonna want parchment paper or cookie sheets on top so your tray isn't ruined. maybe you've got a nonstick tray??
- right, now put those cookies on that dang sheet. shape them however you dang well want to shape them. you're the boss.
- stick the stuff in the oven from 9-11 minutes. that's just a guideline you're gonna want to keep an eye on the cookies to account for differences in ingredients, so wait until they're golden brown!
- golden brown? nice. let them cool for a couple minutes.
- EAT