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- >You are Anonymous, royal scribe and chief advisor...
- >Of the team of maids that clean this part of the castle.
- >They were... adequate.
- >You were just looking over some ancient scrolls that had been discovered.
- "Eh, guess I'll put this over here..."
- >You yawned, not like you'd get any sleep.
- >Too much work to be done.
- >"Thou art up quite late."
- >You smiled, Moonbutt was here to keep you company again.
- "You know you can cut the royal crap with me, right?"
- >She giggles, "I know, but it is most amusing to see you smile like that."
- "You sound like a dork, y'know?"
- >"And you're still having wet dreams about me."
- "... Touche."
- >She flutters over to your desk.
- >"So, what are these scrolls about?"
- >You pick up another one to organize and roll your eyes.
- "Just boring tax stuff, business agreements, the works."
- >"We have a section for that?"
- "You didn't, but I figured I'd make one for completeness."
- >"Why would we even need one of those?"
- "I'd rather be prepared than be the maid team of this wing."
- >"Come now, they aren't that bad surely."
- "Eh, I suppose you're right. Not like the first few months of training my scouts."
- >"You have scouts?"
- "How do you think I get these scrolls? I ain't going in a dank, dark cave risking my life for a piece of paper."
- >"That's... not how it works."
- "I like to imagine I'm paying them to do something dangerous."
- >"You don't pay them, you get money from us."
- "Oh well I guess that's your problem then, have fun with that."
- >She shakes her head and smiles, "You are a funny one."
- "I try, dear Princess."
- >You set the last of the scrolls down and sit next to her.
- "Now then, you don't come to me without needing something, what is it?"
- >She mumbles something under her breath.
- "What was that?"
- >"Oh! Nothing, nothing at all. Anyway, I was just having trouble sleeping and wanted to check on you."
- "Aw how sweet, I'm touched really."
- >You open up the drawer and pull out a bottle of Applejack Daniel's.
- "I think I know what can fix both of us."
- >"What if we do something we regret?"
- "Oh the only one that could regret anything is you, but don't worry. I can hold my liquor."
- >"I've had over a thousand years to learn how to hold my alcohol, Anon."
- >Shit, she's got you there.
- "Yeah well... shut up."
- >Good comeback, brain.
- >Hey look it's hard when you're tired okay?
- >No it's fine I understand man. You wrote the book on sucking dick, after all.
- >"Anonymous?"
- "Huh? Oh I spaced out there for a second, sorry about that."
- >You pour the two of you a drink.
- >One drink turns into three.
- >Three turns into five.
- >And you've both drank about nine glasses by the end of it.
- "I bet I can do ten."
- >"Y-yeah right... I've like, totally drank way more than this. I'm not a lightweight."
- "Bullshit Moonpies, you were never big on alcohol, were you?"
- >"N-no, they always gave us champagne and wine! I don't even like wine!"
- >You take the last swig of your drink.
- "Your turn sweetcheeks."
- >"Yeah I bet you'd like these cheeks sweet, huh?"
- "What does that even mean?"
- >"IT MEANS MY BUTT IS BETTER THAN TIA'S!"
- "Can't argue there."
- >She sips the last of her drink.
- >"Well thanks, you're my best friend... or maybe my friend with benefits... or my special friend, I dunno."
- "D'aww, I'm special to you?"
- >"N-no, you shut up now."
- >You throw an arm around her and lead her over to your bed, patting her on the head.
- "S'okay, I like you too, and frankly the maid team can go fuuuu-"
- >The two of you dropped dead tired on the bed.
- >She felt nice.
- >You wake up with a killer headache.
- >You stopped throwing up during your hangovers long ago.
- >That's funny, something feels soft.
- >You look down.
- >The Princess of the Night is cuddled up on your chest.
- >"Mmm, five more minutes Tia."
- >Cute, but you had to splash some water on your face.
- "Rise and shine, moonshine."
- >She blinks her eyes and squints.
- >"Your arms feel nice."
- "You feel nice."
- >"Why thank you, that means a lot and why are we in your bed?"
- "It's a good bed."
- >You pat the smooth, silky texture of your bed.
- >"I won't argue there it does look nice, but I'd say you're a better bed."
- "Are you trying to flatter me or flirt with me?"
- >"Why can't it be both?"
- "Because you're immortal and I'm not, unless you cast some sort of spell on me. But that'd be dumb hehe."
- >She fidgets, "Heh, yeah."
- "You hesitated for a second there."
- >She curls up a little, "Well, I might've maybe sorta... y'know."
- >You put two and two together.
- "When?"
- >"A couple months ago, you just stay up so late and you appreciate my stars so much and-"
- >You shush her.
- "I'm gonna go splash water on my face, then I'm going to get a drink. MAYBE if I'm not too bitter, I'll take you up on your offer."
- >She nods her head and gives you a cute little smile.
- >Damn she's adorable.
- >You grumble to yourself, not like you asked for any of this shit.
- >What were you even supposed to do with that much time?
- >That's like, forever.
- >Oh dear you're going to be here for a while.
- >Well, could be worse. You could've grown a horn and wings.
- >That would just be stupid.
- >Because humans would look ridiculous with wings and horns.
- >Well, this is the first day of the rest of your life.
- >Might as well make it count.
- >"So, you live in the castle archives?"
- "Yes, it's very roomy and full of knowledge. I like it."
- >You take a swig of your drink and put the bottle away.
- "Don't try and change the subject, when were you going to tell me?"
- >"Well, I was going to tell you last night, but you offered a drink and I didn't want to be rude."
- "It's fine, I guess. Just wasn't expecting to be immortal, y'know? Not sure if I want to be."
- >"Why is that?"
- "I mean, it's something you say you want, but then after you have it it's kind of a curse."
- >"I know exactly what you mean."
- >She sheds a couple of tears.
- >Oh right, banished to the moon. Thousand years.
- "Sorry, I didn't mean to remind you of that."
- >You cut the sarcastic crap out for a second and give her a hug.
- >"But at least we have each other, right?"
- >You knew you shouldn't indulge her.
- >But you did.
- "Yeah, I guess we do."
- >You looked her in the eyes and leaned in.
- >Closer.
- >Closer.
- >And..
- "Boop."
- >"What? What was that?"
- "I booped you, what were you expecting? A ki-"
- >She shut you up.
- >Goddamn she's good with that tongue.
- >"Don't tease me like that, Anon."
- "Duly noted. Well, I have business to attend to."
- >"Giving the maid team a hard time?"
- "No, going to see Discord for breakfast. You can come with if you want."
- >"I think I'll sit this one out, Tia requires my presence anyway."
- "Alright, I'll catch you later."
- >That got domestic real fast.
- >You made your way to the other resident freak's room.
- >You opened the door and were greeted by what you could only call abstract art.
- >Looked like something out of Alice in Wonderland.
- >Wait a minute, it was!
- >"I do so appreciate you telling me of this Alice in Wonderland thing, it's quite lovely."
- "No problem Discord, how was your morning?"
- >He teleports over to you, "I was just waiting on my favorite human!"
- "I'm the only human here Discord."
- >"Well I'm sure if there were more you'd still be my favorite!"
- "Well good, because I'm immortal now."
- >"Luna?"
- "Luna."
- >"She always was a bit clingy, but a sweet girl nonetheless."
- >He snaps his fingers and dons a mobster outfit.
- >"But if you hurt one of my bosses, I'm gonna have to break you."
- >The two of you stare at each other for a moment before laughing.
- "Ah, this is why I like you man."
- >"Yes, it is delightful isn't it?"
- >He stops laughing.
- >"But seriously, don't do it."
- "They gave me a home, why would I hurt them?"
- >"Because we chaotic creatures can be stupid sometimes."
- >The two of you had a rather lively breakfast.
- >"So when did it happen?"
- "Couple months ago apparently, say can I still die from unnatural causes?"
- >"Oh of course not! You'll still feel pain though."
- "Ah, good. Figured it might be one of those bogus immortal deals where you can still die."
- >"Well it wouldn't be immortality if you could die now would it?"
- "I suppose not, hey could you get that gravy dogpot over here?"
- >"All you have to do is call for him, goodness you can be so lazy sometimes."
- "Yo Gravy!"
- >The little guy runs up to your biscuit and pours you some gravy.
- >You give him a pat on the head and he wags his handle.
- >"See? That wasn't so hard."
- >Bomb-ass biscuits man.
- "Well, that was a good breakfast. Thanks Discord."
- >"It was my pleasure."
- >A maid shows up for Discord.
- >"You were supposed to help out an hour ago!"
- >"I was waiting for my friend here."
- >He dons a maid outfit, "So testy, later Anon!"
- >You decided to go mess with the maid team.
- >Discord could use the help.
- >You made your way to the dining room.
- >There was some sort of meeting with the Griffon Kingdom going down during the Gala or something.
- >Celestia had wanted to see you but that could probably wait.
- >She knew you and Discord liked to pal around, and decided it would be best to let you two have fun together.
- >No harm in making her wait a little while, is there?
- >You found Discord being accosted by the chief maids of this wing, Spick and Span.
- >The unicorn and pegasus twins took notice of you immediately.
- >"What's the big idea bud? Keepin' our assistant busy? Don'tcha know he has a job?"
- "Good to see you too, Span. Now kindly get your feathers out of my face."
- >You pushed her aside and greeted Spick.
- "Sorry to keep you waiting, what needs organizing?"
- >"Well the Gala is in a week, and we need to make sure everything is in tip-top shape! We were hoping you could help."
- >One of the maids almost dropped a ladder on the dining table.
- >"It's okay! I got it! I think."
- >"As you can see our girls could use some coordinating."
- "That's putting it lightly."
- >"Hey pal, you gonna help or what?!"
- "Okay, jeez I knew a little birdie told me to help but I didn't remember it being this loud."
- >She gave a little huff, and flew off to talk with her sister.
- >"I've never seen her give up an argument."
- "Lemme guess, you tried being nice?"
- >"It's what Fluttershy would do."
- "I'll fill you in on Span, she's one of those ponies that respects not taking any bullshit. That includes her own."
- >"So just stand up to her?"
- "Basically, she's kinda like Dash in that regard."
- >"You know her?"
- "Of course, I met all of them at last year's Gala."
- >How could you forget?
- >You all woke up drunk the next morning.
- >And Pinkie stuck something up your ass.
- >Never did figure out what it was.
- >Well, it only took a couple of painful hours, but you got the last of the Gala decorations organized.
- "I swear to Luna, Fizzy Pop if you drop that ladder and it breaks the table again I am putting you in timeout."
- >She hurries along with the ladder, making sure to be careful with it.
- >Timeout was thirty minutes in the dungeon.
- >That's about all you really used it for, there weren't many criminals around here.
- >"I suppose I can see the appeal of doing things by hand, but I could've just snapped my fingers and fixed everything."
- "Where's the fun in that?"
- >"I suppose you're right."
- >"Say, did you see her rump though? I bet you wanted to get fizzy and pop that, am I right?"
- "Just... no. Besides, Luna has a better butt."
- >"Sure, sure... I'm just saying, cute little mare like that, she'd love a guy like you."
- "Sometimes I don't know if you want me to fail or succeed."
- >"I don't know either, and that's the fun part. Though I am leaning more towards your success."
- "I guess it is a nice butt..."
- >"Teehee, you like Earth mares."
- "Oh haha, very funny Mr. I-Love-Pinkie-She's-The-Best-Element."
- >"Relax, I'm just pulling your leg."
- >He pulls off one of your legs before putting it back on.
- "Don't do that. It's weird."
- >"Well, you ARE a weirdo. But that's okay, so am I!"
- "We really are a couple of idiots, aren't we?"
- >"No, that's just you. I have an excuse, I'm the Master of Chaos!"
- "You have no idea what you're doing, do you?"
- >"Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe I don't not. Or I could maybe do and not know it. It might be both at the same time."
- "You realize that's not going to confuse me, right? You're just saying things trying to trip me up."
- >"Oh darn it, you're no fun sometimes. You too are deliciously chaotic."
- "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
- >"Well, don't mind me. You have a couple of ladies waiting for you. Toodles!"
- "Wait what?"
- >He teleported away.
- >You turned around to see Celestia and Luna.
- >Oh right.
- >Shit.
- "Now listen I can explain this."
- >"Do go on, we're listening."
- >Shit Celestia please calm down.
- "Uh, I came to help out the maids?"
- >"Mhm, and this wasn't another excuse to slack off with Discord?"
- "Yo Fizzy Pop!"
- >She was coming back to report to you when she froze up.
- "You can vouch for me, right? I helped."
- >She timidly bowed before the Princesses.
- >"Um, w-well he did help out quite a bit your majesties."
- >Luna gave her a little hug before sending her on her way.
- >"Very well then, why was Discord here?"
- "He was helping out too."
- >"Now that is a bold-faced lie Anonymous. He can't even clean his own room."
- >Spick showed up to save your ass.
- >"Actually, Discord is one of our top workers."
- >"Surprisingly."
- >"Span, what have I told you about insulting Discord?"
- >"That we shouldn't take what is basically a god for granted, yeah yeah."
- >Celestia sighed, "Whatever, we just need you for a few minutes. I've just been stressed out over this event and I'm taking it out on you."
- >You walked to their secret meeting room with them.
- >"So Anon, how are you enjoying your position as chief scribe?"
- "It's good, you guys pay me a lot. I get to stay up at night, looking at the stars. Sometimes I talk with your sister."
- >"My dear sister tells me you've gotten a bit sweet on her."
- "I'd say it was the other way around, being that she's a sweet girl."
- >She giggles, "My, and you're comfortable saying this with her around?"
- >You shrug.
- "Kinda already made out with her, so yeah."
- >She stops.
- >"If you hurt her, not even a thousand years on the moon will be a sufficient punishment."
- >You felt your temperature drop.
- >"Tia, stop scaring Anon!"
- >She gave her the puppy dog eyes.
- >"Oh alright Luna, but don't let him take advantage of you."
- >"I'll have you know that-"
- >"Oh look! We're here!"
- >"-he's been a perfect gentleman."
- >"Nevermind that Luna, show him what we got him!"
- >They open a cupboard to reveal a set of armor.
- >Very bold, very striking, and very black.
- >With green trimming.
- >"This is made of the finest metals in Equestria, and is light enough to run in!"
- "This is... actually pretty badass. What's the catch?"
- >"No catch... just that we wanted you to help security during the Gala."
- "Me? Against a Griffon?"
- >"For all they know you're a minotaur. That should be enough to intimidate them."
- "And if they aren't scared of me?"
- >"I made you immortal Anon, the most you're going to have is searing pain from being stabbed."
- "Lovely."
- >"Anyway, if things go right you shouldn't have to worry about it."
- "Yeah yeah, wouldn't be the first time I had something jammed up my ass."
- >They stare at you blankly.
- "Pinkie is into some weird stuff apparently."
- >Celestia starts to open her mouth.
- "The last Gala was pretty fun for me."
- >"I need to write to Twilight about this new information."
- >This left you and Luna alone.
- "So, you want a personal guard or what?"
- >"I do love the idea of having my own dashing knight, and the other guard captains have got the ballroom and dining rooms covered."
- "Plus you need someone to protect the negotiations. And I can bring some old info in case they try to cheat you."
- >"I'm liking the sound of this."
- "And if we end up snuggling and showing affection, well who's to stop us?"
- >"Certainly not Tia."
- "Certainly not the Griffons."
- >You give each other a quick hug and laugh.
- >This was gonna be a fun Gala.
- >You spent the next few days researching Griffons.
- >Nothing you didn't already know.
- >If you had to fight it was going to be painful for you.
- >Hopefully that armor would stand up to their weapons.
- >You heard the door open.
- "I already told you, that welcome mat is not a joke, it is there for visitors. I'm not that grumpy Span."
- >"My, is this how you greet all of your guests? This is our library too."
- "Ah, Luna. Sorry, been having trouble with her teasing me about a welcome mat. Figured it tied the whole place together."
- >"It does seem a bit unnecessary."
- "Gotta get visitors somehow, don't I?"
- >"You could try being less sarcastic."
- "I could also sit on a cactus, neither would be appealing to me."
- >"Fair enough I suppose. I do enjoy your dry wit."
- "I do too, if I didn't have that I'd need more booze."
- >"I know I shouldn't reinforce your bad habit, but we do have a distillery."
- "Already tried it, tastes like shit."
- >"That's why I don't drink... much."
- "Well, I guess we're ready for the Griffons."
- >"But are you?"
- >You turn around and look her straight in the eyes.
- "I really don't know. At the very least I can be an invincible meatshield."
- >"I'd rather you not be."
- "Yeah yeah, I might be immortal but my nerves still respond to pain. I got it."
- >"Just, be careful okay? I've heard they're bringing in some elite soldiers."
- "Any assassins?"
- >"What."
- "You know, they sneak up on you and do the stabby thing?"
- >"I know what an assassin is, I didn't know a proud warrior race like the Griffons used assassins."
- "Apparently their assassins are trained from childhood. They are also taught some rather naughty things."
- >"I don't want to know what you read."
- "You really don't, it's super kinky. Like, you wouldn't imagine."
- >"Try me."
- "Well..."
- >"My word! Those thighs are rather powerful!"
- "And that is how they snap your neck while sixty-nining you."
- >You close the book and give her a smile.
- >She stares at you.
- >"I might have to use some of the non-lethal methods later."
- >Why did you show her this again?
- "Right, I guess I know what to expect from you at least."
- >You get settled into bed.
- "Now it'll just be a couple hours before I go to sleep."
- >"Maybe I can be of assistance?"
- >She cuddles up next to you.
- "I'm grateful for the sentiment but I-"
- >You blinked open your eyes.
- "How did you even do that?"
- >"Princess of the Night, I just made you sleepy."
- "Thanks, I'll have to invite you over more often."
- >You give her a peck on the cheek and got your armor on.
- >Snazzy.
- >Turning to her, you notice a look of concern on her face.
- "Don't worry, everything is gonna be just fine."
- >She nods, a smile replacing the frown.
- "Now come on! Time for breakfast!"
- >"You're in a good mood this morning."
- "Well, for starters I actually got a good night's rest."
- >You grin.
- "And two, if things go tits up I might actually have a good fight on my hands."
- >"I thought you didn't want to fight them?"
- "True, but it's also been a while since I had a good sparring partner."
- >"You spar?"
- "A man has to have his hobbies."
- >You had a nice breakfast and decided to help out with the proceedings.
- >You had to give everybody a handshake.
- >It was exhausting.
- >Maybe you could sneak away and dip into the punch...
- >"Oh hey Nonny! Don't worry, I made sure to take my cake batter vibrator home with me last year."
- >Son of a bitch that's what it was.
- "Hey girls, how's it going?"
- >"It's been lovely darling, could you excuse me for a moment? I need to teach Pinkie some manners."
- >"Sorry 'bout that, they've been a bit uppity lately. Dunno why, guess Rarity wanted another shot at the Gala."
- "And Pinkie?"
- >"She's just being Pinkie, don't worry about her."
- >You let them on by and gave Luna a tired smile.
- "That was all of them, lemme go get those scrolls for your meeting."
- >You opened the archives and went through anything relevant.
- >You had about a dozen scrolls to carry.
- >You were about to call in a couple of maids to help out when you heard something.
- "Who's there?"
- >Nothing.
- "If you so much as misplace a book I will kick your ass, I'm not in the mood for pranksters."
- >You saw a red Griffon perched on a bookcase.
- "You one of those elite soldiers? Cause I don't care who the fuck you are, get out of my archives."
- >She dropped down and smirked, "I'm an assassin, not a soldier."
- "Good for you, that changes nothing."
- >When did you grow a pair?
- >About the same time someone broke into your workplace and home.
- >She took a swipe at you.
- >There was a loud clang as her claw hit the armor.
- >She doubled over in pain, at least the armor works.
- >"I'll be back, just you wait!"
- "Can I at least get the name of the lady that had her night ruined?"
- >"It's Scarlet! Don't you forget it!"
- >Scary. Now to get a couple of maids to help out.
- "Sir, they paid off those debts a hundred and fifty-seven years ago. They don't owe you a bit."
- >Trying to get the Princesses to cough up 294,563 bits.
- >Oddly specific, actually.
- >For aid during the Chaos Wars.
- >The fuck even is that?
- >There was nothing in your archives about it, but apparently that happened.
- "And no sir, you're not allowed to detain tourists and make them sex slaves."
- >"What if they wanted to be?"
- "That is really kinky, but it's their choice."
- >"What about the land agreement?"
- "Do I look like a damn fool? This has no benefits to the ponies."
- >"We're bad at agriculture."
- "Then ask for help, maybe?"
- >One of his advisors whispered something in his ear.
- >"Could you maybe, leave us alone? You've helped out a great deal but I'd like to speak to the Princesses now."
- >You rolled your eyes, politicians.
- >Stepping outside, you took a stroll over to the punch bowl.
- >Pouring yourself a drink, you heard a small dinging noise.
- >"Sir, Trixie hopes she is not disturbing you, but could you tell me where Twilight Sparkle and her friends are?"
- >There was something about this pony, something that made you want to give her a hug.
- >You stooped down and wrapped your arms around her neck.
- "I don't know why, but you look like you could use a hug, maybe it's the eyes."
- >"T-thank you, but ah... my question?"
- "Oh they're probably in the ballroom. Twilight isn't the worst dancer, but she is definitely the nerdiest."
- >"What's that mean?"
- "Trust me, you'll understand once you see."
- >She gave you a smile and a nod and trotted off.
- >Sometimes being nice felt good.
- >"Hey there good-looking, whatcha doing?"
- "Y'know putting on a slightly different voice isn't going to fool me, right Scarlet?"
- >You turned around and saw her fuming.
- "What? What're you gonna do about it hun?"
- >"Boys, we have a challenger!"
- >Wait, what?
- >Suddenly a few squads of Griffon soldiers swooped in on the scene.
- >"Take care of him, would you?"
- >"Sir, you are making a grave error thinking you can take us all on."
- "Four..."
- >"We are going to beat you black and blue."
- "Nine..."
- >"And that's if you're lucky!"
- "Sixteen."
- >"And... what are you doing?"
- "Oh no, please do go on. I'm listening."
- >"Uh... well, we're going to brutalize you. Probably kill you, actually."
- "Twenty-one, counting her."
- >"Alright, seriously, why the counting?"
- >You took a few moments to stretch and limber up.
- "Oh you know, seeing if this was going to be a decent warm-up."
- >They all looked at each other and started laughing.
- >"You seriously think you can take on twenty elite Griffon soldiers AND a Griffon assassin?"
- "Yep, that's the idea."
- >"Listen, pal. I uh, I think the punch has gone to your head."
- "You kidding me? This stuff can barely give me a buzz, not half bad though."
- >You heard someone laughing about so and so being a lightweight.
- >"Well, do you at least want a weapon?"
- "Nah I'm good, you need all the help you can get."
- >"S-sir I'd really advise you take a weapon."
- "It's cute that you're worried about being dishonorable, but my armor should be more than enough."
- >"Alright captain I've heard just about enough of this loudmouth!"
- >A Griffon with a spear charged at you, "I'm gonna break that pretty armor of yours!"
- >The spear landed square in the middle of your armor.
- >He stood there holding a broken spear.
- "Nice try, not good enough though."
- >You bashed his face in.
- >Griffons are part eagle, and birds aren't known for their durability.
- >As long as you hit the half that was bird you'd be fine.
- >It helps that the front half is bird.
- "Come on then, have at you and whatnot."
- >Knife guy, knee to the face.
- >Swordsman, flung him across a table nuts-first.
- >Mace girl got smacked into a wall.
- >Club dude took a hard hit to his glass jaw.
- >There was a lot of murmuring in the crowd of soldiers.
- "I'm bored."
- >"What?"
- "Bored, you're boring me. Gonna make this more fun."
- >You took off your breastplate and set it on the floor under the punch table.
- "There, now it's fair for you guys."
- >One of the spear guys got cocky and took a stab at you.
- >"Come on! Go in there!"
- >You felt a burning sensation, but the spear wouldn't hit anything vital.
- >"By the Emperor, this thing isn't normal!"
- >You pulled the spear out and broke it before slamming him into the ground face-first.
- >A couple of knife-toting catbirds tried to pounce you.
- >You used their momentum to toss them into a pillar.
- >Pulling their knives out, you tossed them back to a couple of guys.
- >They won't be walking on those legs for a while.
- >"This guy just took out half our men commander!"
- >"W-well don't just stand there, fight him!"
- >A spear-knife-mace wielding trio stepped forward.
- >You grabbed the mace and pulled the guy towards you.
- >These gauntlets were pretty good.
- >Smacking him across the face with his own weapon, you turned your attention to his comrades.
- >The spear guy dropped his weapon and tried to run away but the commander gave him a massive headbutt.
- >You picked up the spear and stabbed knife guy in the foot before ramming a knee into his face.
- >Some of them started crying.
- "What's wrong? You started this fight, I'm just finishing it."
- >Last spear guy took a bad hit to his torso.
- >You hoped you didn't break anything important.
- >Knife dude was greeted with a powerbomb.
- >It was time for Rustlemania.
- >Cause you're stirring up fear and, more importantly, anger in the commander.
- >A couple of suplexes and a piledriver later, it was down to the commander and the assassin.
- "Go on, let's get this over with."
- >"I will not let you disgrace my men in such a way!"
- >For all his flair he only took a few more punches than the others did.
- "Happy Scarlet? You just got a bunch of men, and a lady, injured."
- >She started swiping away at your chest.
- >"Come on! If it bleeds I can kill it!"
- >You grabbed her claws and started squeezing.
- "I know these gauntlets must hurt."
- >Years of video games and beating your meat left you with quite a grip.
- >"Ach... I uh, heheAAGH!"
- >You grinned, finally wiped that smug grin off of her face.
- >You let her go and she dropped to the ground.
- >... and then you gave her the people's elbow.
- "Thanks for playing, see you later."
- >Grabbing your breastplate, you were about to go change when you were stopped by Luna.
- >"What did you do Anon?!"
- "I beat twenty-one Griffons in a fight."
- >"Are you insane?!"
- "Maybe, but I feel pretty good about myself right now."
- >You give her a kiss and head off to your room.
- >Do immortals get scars? Is your chest gonna have scars now?
- >You bumped into the Griffon ambassador.
- "Oh, uh hey. Listen just so you know, they started it."
- >He gives you a wide smile, "And you handled it magnificently my dear boy!"
- >What.
- >"If there's one thing we Griffons enjoy more than duty, it is a good fight. And that was stupendous!"
- "Thanks sir, uh can I go change now?"
- >"Of course! Don't let me keep you waiting."
- >You decided changing into your suit would be more appropriate now that "diplomacy" was over.
- >Luna was waiting outside for you, along with Spick and Span.
- >"We were very worried about you, are you in pain?"
- >Truth be told? You were really sore, but you put on a smile.
- "Eh, I'll live. I'd say I've been through worse but that'd be a lie."
- >"Our maids have a big mess to clean up thanks to you."
- >"But good on you for wrecking those guys, snooty jerks."
- >You ruffled Span's mane.
- "Well, I guess it all worked out in the end."
- >"The ambassador was so impressed by you that he called off all his demands, amazed that we were able to breed such a warrior."
- "But, you guys didn't... you clever girl."
- >"Some deception was required, it was what you would call a golden opportunity."
- "Still, I can't help but feel I'm forgetting something..."
- >You heard laughter in the distance.
- >Making your way to the ballroom, you saw Trixie laughing at Twilight.
- >"I'm sorry, it's just that's actually super adorable!"
- >"Trixie..."
- >"I can't even keep up my composure, hehe!"
- >She wraps her hooves around her and sighs.
- >"I just came here to thank you and catch up with you, but thanks for the laughs."
- >Twilight rolls her eyes and hugs Trixie back, "No problem, so how have you been?"
- >You tuned it out at this point, and went over to the bar for a drink.
- "One for me and one for the lady."
- >Luna sidled up next to you.
- >"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
- "Negotiations are over, time to party."
- >"Yeah, say why don't you let me treat the Princess pal?"
- >You turned to see a burly, rough looking prick.
- "Yeah, no. I just beat up twenty-one Griffons, back off."
- >He shut up and sat down after that.
- >"My, when did you get so assertive?"
- "Eh, I guess when I need to be. Not gonna take shit when I don't need to."
- >"When would you need to?"
- "... When there are more important things on the line than my pride."
- >"... Something happened to you to make you so sarcastic, didn't it?"
- "Yeah, I lost an entire squad I was supporting because I didn't have all the intel."
- >"So that's why you're so obsessed with knowing everything and having the archives filled to the brim."
- "Still, it's in the past. I just made sure to learn from my mistake."
- >You set your glass down.
- "Listen I was never one for this mushy stuff but... you wanna go back to my room and cuddle?"
- >She blushed, "Aw, you are quite sweet. Pray tell, why the sudden interest?"
- "Because you actually helped with my insomnia."
- >"Oh dear, if I knew that was why you stayed up so late I would've helped out long ago!"
- "And miss out on your beautiful nights? Not a chance doll."
- >"Calling me pet names now?"
- "I'm giving it a test run, you can tell me if you like it or not."
- >"I certainly wouldn't object to you continuing to use them."
- "Well, let's go then."
- >On the way back you ran into Celestia.
- >She glared a hole through you.
- >"... Good work, Anon."
- >She looked at Luna and motioned for her to go on ahead.
- >"Listen, I don't want you to think I'm being hard on you for the sake of it."
- "I figured you were just being a big sister."
- >She giggles, "Well, there is that, but... I just don't want to see her hurt again. Please promise me you'll take care of her?"
- "Hurting her wasn't in my schedule, I'll let you know if I go crazy so you can hit me on the head."
- >She gave a sigh of relief and smiled, "Good, that's all I needed to hear."
- "What? Just like that?"
- >"I would know if you're lying, over a thousand years to learn, remember?"
- >Oh yeah.
- >"Now go on, your Princess is waiting for you."
- >She gave you a wink and sent you on your way.
- >That went surprisingly well, all things considered.
- >You sit down on your bed next to Luna.
- >"Did Tia scare you again Anon?"
- "Nah, it's fine. She's just worried about you."
- >"She's always doing that, it can get tiresome but I appreciate it."
- "... Can you hold me again?"
- >"Of course, is something wrong?"
- "No, it's just..."
- >"What was that?"
- "I kinda enjoy..."
- >"You'll have to speak up dear."
- "I like cuddles okay?"
- >She cooed and wrapped her hooves around you.
- >"So do I!"
- >You grumbled.
- "Don't tell anyone about this okay?"
- >"Of course my love."
- "D'ya have to call me pet names too?"
- >She gave you a peck on the cheek and nuzzled you, "Don't be so fussy."
- "But-"
- >She shushed you, "It's snuggle time!"
- >You could feel yourself blushing.
- >For all your complaining, you did enjoy this.
- >You could get used to it, actually.
- >When you teased her last night about it you were being sarcastic.
- >You didn't think you'd tell her you actually enjoyed snuggling.
- "Luna?"
- >"Yes?"
- "... Please don't leave me."
- >She held you closer.
- >That's all you needed to feel.
- >This dream again.
- >You didn't want to finish it, but you kept getting closer each time.
- >You already knew how it ended.
- >"Just leave me Anon!"
- "No way FemAnon! If I can get anybody out of here I'm getting you out!"
- >This was the mission where everything went wrong.
- >And it was all your fault.
- >She'd been shot in the leg and you had tried to carry her to the evac zone.
- >You shouldn't have left your post in the first place.
- >But you had to try and save someone.
- >She'd been your best friend since childhood.
- >She couldn't die on you.
- "Come on! We're almost there!"
- >You heard enemy chatter.
- >"I'll buy you some time."
- >Please wake up.
- "No! We're getting out of this together!"
- >"Remember when I told you I'd give my life for you?"
- >Wake up.
- "No, you can't leave me too!"
- >"Well, it's time to make good on that promise."
- >She pulled out her rifle and gave you a grin, "See you later, ponyboy."
- >She was the only one who knew your secret.
- >"Come and get me you bastards!"
- >She took it with her to the grave.
- >The reports say she took down over half a dozen guys with her.
- >Turns out she did, if what you were seeing here was true.
- >"So this is why you are so grumpy."
- "Damn it Luna, why'd you make me finish this dream?"
- >"Fears must be faced Anon, she wanted you to live."
- "I know, but it was my fault she died! I should've known there was an ambush!"
- >She gave you a hug, "Let it go Anon, it's in the past."
- "Don't bring up that movie right now, damn it."
- >"What movie?"
- "Nevermind."
- >"Well, it's time for us to wake up."
- >As you opened your eyes you saw Luna smiling at you.
- >The only thing you could do was hug her.
- >After you let it all out of your system and had calmed down, you wiped your tears away.
- >"So this is what you are under all the sarcasm, is it?"
- "What do you mean?"
- >"I mean you're not as confident as you seem at first glance."
- "And?"
- >"You're a sad, broken... um."
- "Man."
- >"Man, yes. That's okay, I was in your position once as well."
- "I know, I read the history books on you, when's the good news?"
- >She laid a hoof on your hand.
- >"I just want you to know I'm here for you."
- >You had no quips left.
- >No one-liners.
- >No jokes.
- >All you could do was kiss her.
- >She deserved that much.
- "Luna... I..."
- >"Yes?"
- >She fluttered her eyelashes, already knowing what you were trying to say.
- "... I love you."
- >She rested her head on your shoulder.
- >"I love you too, Anon."
- >The two of you watched the sunrise.
- "Felt like I should tell you that, since you've been so nice to me these past few months."
- >"Oh don't mention it, I should thank you for bringing such joy to my nights."
- "Ah come on, you're the nice one."
- >"But you're the funny one!"
- "I'm not funny, I'm honest."
- >"You're also sarcastic."
- "Maybe I am, why does that matter?"
- >"You're impossible."
- "No, I'm Anon."
- >The two of you spent a good few minutes laughing about everything that had happened.
- >Everything was gonna be just fine.
- >Eventually the two of you married, and you were crowned as Equestria's first Prince.
- >Blueblood didn't count because nobody cared about him anyway.
- >Luna had also wanted a child, which Twilight managed to help out with.
- >You would never understand how their magic works at times.
- >Tide Water was running around your legs smiling up at you.
- >"Dad, dad, dad! Come play with me!"
- >You reached down and picked her up, holding her close.
- "Sure thing sweetie."
- >After the first couple hundred years you got used to being immortal.
- >You'd also had a good laugh at Twilight's punishment after Celestia found out she made her friends immortal.
- >She made her clean the castle bathrooms for fifty years.
- >You couldn't blame her. It's not like you could just replace those five.
- >To this day Pinkie still brings up the cake batter vibrator incident.
- >As long as Tide was around she couldn't say anything though.
- >"Dad, am I adopted?"
- >You held her tighter, where did this come from?
- "No, because of the magic of friendship you're my daughter."
- >"... What if I was adopted?"
- "That would change nothing, I'd still love you."
- >You wanted to tell her it was just magic in general but you figured you'd teach her the value of friendship.
- >The last thing you needed was another Twilight on your hands.
- >"Thanks dad, you're the best."
- >You wanted to say "I know." but that wouldn't be right.
- >Instead you just gave her a kiss on the forehead.
- "Thank you sweetheart, it means a lot to me."
- >You stepped outside into the garden and set her down.
- "Now come on, it's time to play!"
- >"Hehe, yeah!"
- The End.
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