At the 2019 Evo after party I had met a guy who seemed nice and had a drink with him, we had good conversation, I discovered his name was Miguel. After one or two drinks, I’m usually fine. After two drinks I think I’m okay so I take the third drink from him. I wasn’t okay at all then and he began to get more aggressive from friendly conversation to something more suggestive. I don’t remember taking the fourth shot or any after, but I do remember my shift from being bubbly and fun to feeling like I am going to pass out. I remember he had kissed me and reached around and stroked my crotch area while I was extremely intoxicated at the bar.  I don’t trust myself when I’m drunk to make good decisions so at some point in the night I’m stumbling by myself trying to find my friends. I find Hugo and one of his friends I start slurring into their ears something along the lines of “help me. I do not want to leave with this guy. I am telling you now because I am drunk - and it might not seem this way - but I’m uncomfortable. Please say something. Help me.” They thankfully did talk to him to tell him to back off, but I had to still avoid him throughout the night. They had to get into an uber with me and make sure I was okay. I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t have people there who cared.

My biggest mistake in all of this was still allowing Miguel into my life after this. I made clear that I didn’t want a sexual or romantic relationship with him but throughout our “friendship” he had pushed boundaries and I felt guilted whenever I didn’t return feelings even though he knew how I felt. He had spoken about his other times with women who have rejected him, and it was almost as if he victimized himself in each situation. I had also heard stories about other women having the same experience as I.  I confronted him about what happened at Evo and his response went from hostile to basically im sorry I thought you liked me. I don’t know, it made me apologize like I felt like I had done wrong. This was my reaction over and over because I learned over time that he tends to be deeply emotional and I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he was wrong. I had to tell him that and then soon after I blocked him.  He needs to know what he did to me isn’t okay and I don’t want him to do this to anyone else in the community. I woke up that morning after Evo feeling violated and then I was made to feel like it was my fault. I can take some fault as an adult who has responsibility over her actions to stop drinking, but I cannot take the fault for what he had done to me while I was intoxicated and begging my friends for help.