SciTwi & Anon Part 5

>The wind howls as the snow mercilessly beats down upon the three figures who linger on the outside of a massive cave.
>They are wearing very thick clothing, and one of them also has a helmet on that completely conceals the wearer's face.
>From the looks of it, all of them are humanoid. At least the two whose faces can be seen certainly are.
>And the way they're arranged, this meeting consists of two partners and a lone third person, with the latter wearing the concealing protective gear.
>"It took ya long enough. We thought ya weren't gonna make it!" one of the two partners shouts over the wind.
>"Yeah," the second partner chimes in. "What took you so long?"
>"Had to take the scenic route," the mysterious figure speaks with a deep, synthetic voice. "Do you have it?"
>"Sure do."
>"Let me see."
>The first partner hands over a large roll of paper.
>"Don't ya think that we should get out of this blizzard? The cold is gettin' mighty fierce, don'tcha think?"
>"Just a second."
>The helmeted figure unrolls the map, which threatens to tear against the wind.
>"Very good, doctor," he says with satisfaction.
>He then rerolls it and stuffs it into his jacket.
>"Now gentlemen, how about we go inside? You're right. It's starting to get cold."
>"Thought ya'd never ask. Come on, Glen. Let's start a nice fire to warm them bones of ours."
>The two partners eagerly start to make their way into the cave.
>But they never make it.
>One blast hits the first partner in the back of the head. He dies instantly.
>Even in this storm, the shot from the weapon can be heard.
>"What the--" the sole surviving partner turns around, only to get shot in the chest twice.
>He staggers back before losing his balance, and his body falls back onto the soft snow.
>His lifeless eyes are still half-open. You can see the frozen shock on his face.
>It's not long before the storm starts to bury the two corpses as if they are never there.
>Satisfied with his work, the unidentifiable figure holsters his smoking pistol and enters the cave.
>"Sure is chilly today," he says.
>And if you are to listen closely enough, you can hear muffled whistling from within the helmet.

>You are Anonymous.
>Regular student of Canterlot High with regular friends, living a regular life.
>Well, at least for the most part.
"So, Twi," you say as you zip up a rather bulky snowsuit. "Word has gone around that you and I are an item--"
>"Which we aren't," she interjects.
"Right. But my parents got wind of the rumors, and they would like you over for dinner sometime. Just to see what you're like."
>Twilight sighs as she clips on her utility belt and checks her rifle.
>Fortunately for you, you get to bring along an actual weapon this time. It's just a pistol, but it'll do. At least it doesn't shoot harmless streams of water.
>"Why did you have to make it look like we were together back there?"
"I only said what happened. It's the other students that are jumping to conclusions."
>"Yeah, I know. I just hate it when people spread lies about me. You could have just let Tyrone beat your body to death. It would have only cost you your reputation."
>Selfless as ever, Twi.
>"Ready to go?"
"Yeah."
>The two of you head over to the teleportation chamber.
>Twilight punches the coordinates into the terminal, and the room starts to hum and glow.
"So what do you say? I.."
>You then materialize in another world.
"...promise that they are alright. It's not like you're going to be bound to a chair and interrogated under a dimly-lit lightbulb. Plus, my mom really knows how to cook."
>"I'll think about it."
>It hits you that it's rather cold out here, even with all the protective clothing on. The snow must be at least a foot deep. Mountains that pierc the low-hanging clouds surround you on all sides.
>Twilight places down a beacon and points towards a cave several hundred feet away.
>"See that? That's where we're going."
>It takes a rather lot of effort to move across the deep snow while wearing all this heavy stuff, but you eventually make it to the opening.
"What are we doing here again?"
>"There's something rather valuable inside. And we're going to get it."
"What is it, exactly?"
>"You'll see it when we get there."
>Alrighty then.
"As long as it's warmer in there," you say through clenched teeth as you start to rush towards the entrance. "I feel like my ass is half ice by---woaah!"
>Your leg catches on something and you fall face-first into the biting snow.
"Fuck that hurt."
>You slowly get up to your feet and look at what tripped you.
>Looks like a log.
"Were there trees here at some point?"
>"Unlikely. Doesn't look right."
>Twilight bends over and starts to part the snow around the log with her gloved hands. You join in and do the same.
"Is that...?"
>Holy shit.
>That's not a log.
>A young-looking guy is lying in the snow, staring glass-eyed into the sky.
>His skin is icy blue from the cold, and there are two holes in his chest.
"Is he...dead?"
>"Looks like it."
>Twilight takes out a scanner and points it around. It beeps when she aims it at a location a couple feet away the body.
>"Anon. Over here."
>She bends over to a second spot and the two of your start digging.
>A second body reveals itself under the snow. This time, it's face down. A hole with charred flesh is bored into its head.
>"Help me turn this thing over, will you?"
>With a heave, the two of you flip the body over.
>This corpse's face is covered in snow, but you can still make out some of the features.
>Your stomach lurches.
"Recognize either of them?"
>"No. But I don't think we're alone here. We have to be careful."
>Great. There's a killer inside that cave. What could possibly go wrong?
>The two of you enter and turn on your flashlights.
>So far, no murderers.
>That's good.
>Although you can't help but feel as if you're being watched, but maybe you're just being paranoid.
>A couple hundred feet in, the floor drops at a steep angle downwards.
>It would make one hell of a slide.
>And a deadly one at that.
>Twilight comes up to you.
>"Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. This cave is particularly dangerous because it's inhabited by--"
>The ground suddenly moves downward a bit, and you freeze in place, arms outstretched to balance yourself.
"What was that?"
>Twilight's eyes shoot wide open.
>"Uh oh."
"What do you mean, 'uh oh?'"
>The piece of ground the both of you are on shifts down a little more.
>"That. Well this is going to hurt. And for the record, this is your fault. As always."
"Hey, it's not my fault that I don't know where to go in a strange--"
>The ground then completely gives way, taking the both of you down the treacherous slope.
>You tumble a few times as you start to accelerate downwards.
>Somehow, you manage to recover and end up sliding on your butt.
>With your flashlight aimed in front of you, you try to dodge all the oncoming rocks and spikes that threaten to end your life in a painful manner.
>Two tunnels adjacent to each other suddenly appear in the distance.
"Which one do we take?" you try to shout over to Twilight.
>Nothing.
>If she responded, then you didn't hear her.
>And it's too dark to check if she's still nearby.
>Make a choice, Anon.
>The one on your side is easier to get to.
>No point risking your life trying to get into the tunnel Twilight's probably going to enter. Or already entered for that matter.
>Your body slides into the tunnel at high speed.
>It's narrower, so at this point you can't really dodge anything.
>Leave it to nature to decide your fate.
>The tunnel twists and turns like some sadistic slide at a poorly planned amusement park, throwing your body to the left and right without warning.
>It suddenly ends, and your body is ejected into a flat surface.
>You tumble for several feet and end up face-up on the ground.
>Are you still alive?
>Unfortunately, yes.
>You continue to lie down and stare at the ceiling, then notice something. Even though you're probably several hundred feet below the earth, you can actually see your surroundings.
>Crystals jut out of the walls, illuminating the area.
>At least you don't have to use your flashlight.
>After you feel like you caught your breath, you slowly drag yourself to your feet.
>Doesn't feel like anything's broken. That's good.
>But where is Twilight?
>"Took you long enough," a familiar voice speaks.
>You turn around to find your partner leaning against one of the walls.
>Not a scratch on her.
"How...?" you begin to ask.
>"Git gud."
>You then realize that pretty much all her stuff is gone.
"Where's your equipment?"
>"Had to lose them on the way down, which wouldn't have happened if you weren't so stupid."
"Do you at least know how to navigate the cave without them?"
>"Let me think."
>Twilight puts a finger to her chin and pretends to think.
>"Nope."
"WHAT? Are you saying that we're trapped down here?"
>She shrugs, evidently out of fucks to give.
"How are you not freaking about about this? We're gonna die down here, Twi!"
>You start to hyperventilate as the severity of the situation closes down on you.
>Twilight comes over to you and gives you a slap on the face.
>"Snap out of it, Anon. We're going to be fine. Remember what I saying earlier before we ended up here? This cave is not completely empty. It's inhabited by shifters."
"Shifters?"
>"Yeah, shifters. Like changelings, but smarter and stronger. They can take on the form of anyone you know, regardless of whether they've seen them before. They try to take on the form of someone close to you and replace them, feasting off your, uhh, affection."
"...and how are they supposed to help us?"
>"Did you hear what I said? They live here, Anon. This godforsaken cave is their HOME. They probably know everything there is to know about it, including how to get out. All we have to do is find one. Wait a minute..."
>Twilight grabs you by the collar and slams you against a wall.
>"Are you a filthy shifter, Anon?"
"What?"
>"You heard me! You probably thought that I'd be gullible enough to fall for your antics, but you picked the wrong prey. I'll take you back to my lab, then dissect you alive, then spread your consciousness among your cloned bodies, then dissect them alive, then kill all of you unless you take me out of this cave, you freak!"
>You struggle to break free of her grip.
"I'm not one of those things you crazy bitch!"
>Twilight stares into your eyes, then lets go.
>"Sorry. Just had to make sure."
>She turns around.
>"Alright. You can come out now."
"Who are you talking to?"
>"Shush."
>Several seconds pass before a figure creeps around the entrance.
>You can't believe your eyes.
>It's not human.
>At least you don't think it is.
>It has the general build of a person, but has bright blue eyes and pitch black skin.
>Not to mention fangs for teeth.
>"Hullo, Twilight Sparky," it says. "We are of meeting again."
"Wait, WHAT?"
>"We see Twilight Sparky has friend," the shifter continues.
>"Yes, Twilight does," Twilight Sparkle replies. "Say hello, Anon."
"H-hi," you struggle to say. You're almost too shocked to say anything at all.
>The shifter walks over and examines you. It evidently doesn't know about the concept of personal space.
>"A-noon," it says, doing circles around you. "Anoooon"
"Anon."
>"Anoon."
>Close enough.
"Is it here?" Twilight asks.
>The shifter thinks.
"Yes, we think so. We see it in lower chambers."
>"Okay. You remember the deal. Lead the way."
>"Yes. We show Twilight Sparky the way."
>The shifter exits the room and Twilight follows suit.
>You're just standing there, trying to understand what the fuck just happened.
>"Hey Anon. You coming or what?"
>You snap out of it.
"Uh, sure."
>And with that, you catch up to Twilight.
"What kind of deal did you make with that thing?"
>"Simple. The thing we're looking for is in this cave, but it only appears at a certain point in time. Some time ago we made a deal that if it shows me the way to it when its there, I'll escort it out of the cave and give it freedom."
"Freedom?"
>"Yeah. Shifters are usually part of a larger hive, but the newest queen is a bit of a jerk. Unfortunately, she does everything in her power to keep her discontent children from escaping. Not exactly a benevolent system of government if you ask me."
>Part of a hive?
>Explains why the shifter says "we" when addressing itself.
"What's its name?"
>Twilight shrugs.
>"Beats me. I don't even know if it has one."
"So wait. You're telling me that you made a verbal agreement with another sentient being, but didn't even bother to learn its name?"
>"Hey, if you want to get close and comfortable with the thing, then go ahead."
"You know what? I will."
>You increase your pace and catch up to the shifter.
"Hi, I'm Anon."
>It keeps looking ahead as you're walking, not acknowledging your presence.
"Uhh, I'm afraid I didn't catch your name back there. Do you have one?"
>The shifter turns its head towards you with a look of visible confusion.
>"Name?"
"Yeah. A name. Mine is Anon. Hers is Twilight."
>"We no have name."
"Oh?"
>"Sheefter no has name."
>You turn back to see Twilight giving you a shrug, as if she's saying "what did I tell ya?"
"You know what? How about we give you one?"
>"Me? Name?"
"Yes, we'll give you a name. How about--"
>"Bugs?" Twilight interrupts. "Or King George the Third?"
"How about...Snuffles?"
>"Really Anon? Of all the possible names, you're gonna go with Snuffles? And I thought I was cruel."
>"Snuffews," it says. "We like name."
"Well then, lead the way, Snuffles."
>"Yes. Snuffews will lead way."
>The shifter moves continues to go deeper into the cave with confidence.
>Eventually, the walls and ceiling spread out until you're in a much larger part of the cave. However, the walls appear to have rather large holes in them.
>Large enough to fit a person.
>Or something that size.
>You look at them cautiously.
"Uhh, Snuffews? Are you sure this is the right way?"
>"Yes, we certain. Way through where sheefters sleep."
"Where the shifters sleep?"
>"Yes."
"Is there another way around?"
>"No. We no think so."
>"Come on, Anon. All we have to do is stay quiet and alert and we'll be out of here in no time."
>You don't like the feeling of this one bit.
>A voice shouts from the distance.
>"Hey, Anon!"
>You turn to the source.
>A familiar figure waves to you.
"Dad?"
>"Whatcha doin' here bud? Up to no good as usual?"
>You take a step closer.
"What are you doing here, Dad?"
>"Ohh, nothing much. Just doing some cave exploring with your mother."
>"Heh. Cave exploring," Twilight says, elbowing you. "Who knew these guys had a sense of humor?"
>Your mother walks up next to your dad, who puts a hand around her.
>"But I'm afraid your mom and I are a little lost. Why don't you help us get out of here?"
>Twilight grabs your shoulder.
>"Don't fall for it, Anon. They're not your parents."
"They seem a hell of a lot like them."
>"They're shifters. Did you forget everything I told you about them?"
>The two start walking towards you with large smiles.
>"Maybe we can have a nice dinner when we get home. What do you say, dear?"
>"Oh yes," your mother replies. "I'm thinking spaghetti."
"How do they know these things, Twi?" you ask as you step back, your heart beginning to race.
>"Not entirely sure. I haven't taken the time to do a full analysis on one yet."
>"Oh, Anoooooon," a female voices calls from the other end. "Why not go with me instead?"
>You turn around to see Lily approaching you, her eyes half-lidded.
>"I'm so lonely, Anon. And I need someone to snuggle with at night."
"What the fuck? Lily and I aren't even that close!"
>Yet another figure appears, this time with Lily.
>"Hey, dude. Sup?" Norman says. "Wanna play some vidya together?"
>Your mind is racing as your friends and family approach you from both ends.
>"Come on, sport. Let's go home."
>"Let us be together forever, Anon. I'll even do it in the butt."
>"Hey man. Can I borrow your mouse again? After we get out of here that is."
>You can't take it any longer and draw your pistol, aiming it at your parents.
"Stop!"
>Your father raises his hands.
>"Woah there, bud. You don't want to shoot your eye out."
>"Shoot them," Lily says. "And come with me."
>"Or me," Norman chimes in.
>You turn around and point your pistol at them.
"Stay back! I'm warning you."
>"Uh oh," Snuffles says.
>"I can agree with that sentiment," Twilight replies.
>More and more shifters join in on both sides.
>They're taking on the form of pretty much everyone you know.
>"So what do you say?" one of your many dads ask. "How about we go home?"
>Twilight leans in towards you.
>"I think now is a good time to use that thing."
>They're closing in on you.
>And the only way to escape is through the front, where half of them are.
>"Ready when you are, Anon. It's now or never."
>You really don't want to do this, but right now there doesn't seem to be any choice.
>"Think of them like bugs. Because honestly, they pretty much are. Bugs that can do a really good impersonation of pretty much anybody."
"Even Gilbert Gottfried?"
>"Ooooh, Anon!" you suddenly hear Gilbert Gottfried shout. "This cave is so big and empty! It's exactly like my grandmother's old, dry, dusty vagina after her husband put a gun to his head while he was fucking the family dog right in its tight, little, doggie asshole! It was a scene, Anon! There was blood, sweat, cum, piss, shit, and my grandmothers tears EVERYWHERE! Mostly the tears, though."
>"You know Gilbert Gottfried?"
"No. I just had a dream once that I was his best friend."
>Twilight shakes her head.
>"Just shoot them, Anon! Or we're never going to make it out of here alive!"
>You take a deep breath and take aim at the shifters.
>Then you squeeze the trigger.
>A bolt of fiery plasma hits one of your dads square in the chest and he collapses onto the floor.
>His form changes back to a shifter as a pool of green blood spreads around him.
>The rest of the shifters start to advance on you at an increased rate.
>"See? They're not your real parents! Shoot them!"
>You aim into the crowd in front of you and start firing away.
>One by one they drop like flies, yet you're still running out of space.
>"Stay together!" Twilight shouts as she brings her fists up in a fighting position. "Snuffles, you know how to fight?"
>"Snuffwes can fight."
>"Good. Because this is gonna get messy."
>You squeeze the trigger, but nothing comes out.
>Empty cell.
>You press the release, and the dead battery comes falling out. Then you pull out a fresh cell and insert it into the handle.
>The weapon makes a noise indicating that it's now ready to go.
>It's just like your video games.
>Except this time it's real life.
>"Don't let up, Anon!"
>You instinctively slam the butt of your pistol against a Lily who got too close, and she crumples to the ground.
"What the hell do you think I'm doing?"
>Eventually, the numbers are spread thin enough so that there's a reasonable gap to the other side of this room.
>"Okay, now go!" Twilight shouts.
>Together, you start to fight your way through the remaining shifters.
>A Lily grabs your arm.
>"Take me, Anon! Save me from these vile things!"
"Get off me!"
>You shove her away and shoot her twice in the chest.
>"Oh, Anon! Do you want to hear about the Aristocrats?" Gilbert Gottfried shouts at you.
>You take aim and fire, but end up hitting one of your moms behind him in the head.
>"Oooooh! That looks like it hurt!" Gilbert remarks.
>"Hurry up! Before reinforcements arrive!" Twilight shouts as she punches a nearby shifter in the face.
>The three of you continue to make your way down the room until you reach an edge.
>Looking down, it's a good drop into pitch darkness.
"What now, Snuffles?"
>"We not know. Bridge was here last time."
>Aw fuck.
>"What do we do, Twi?"
>Twilight looks around.
>The shifters are closing in on you.
>"Uhhhh..."
>She looks down over the cliff and then back to the shifters.
>"Just jump!"
"Jump? Are you crazy?"
>But it's too late, Twilight leaps over the edge and disappears.
"She is crazy!"
>"Should Snuffwes jump too?" your shifter companion asks.
>You look back over the cliff.
>Yep. Still dark as ever.
>The shifters are about ten feet away from you now.
"Fuck this! Just do it!"
>Together, you and Snuffles hop off the edge and into the darkness.
>You can feel your body accelerate as you speed towards a certain death.
>But instead of meeting your maker, you meet something else.
>Ice cold water bites suddenly at your skin from all sides.
>Some also gets into your nose.
>You open your eyes, but can't see anything.
>Swim, Anon. Swim.
>You try to kick and paddle, but you still feel yourself sinking.
>Your body is just too heavy.
>Frantically fumbling with your utility belt, you finally manage to get it off.
>Now you're light enough to at least not sink.
>But at this point your lungs are starting to kill you.
>Come on, Anon. You can't die here. Not now.
>You continue to stroke your arms and legs downwards, but your entire body is still underwater. Your don't even know how close to the surface you are.
>Suddenly, a hand reaches down and grabs you.
>Its owner yanks you out of the freezing water and onto dry land.
>You cough up water and rub your eyes.
>"Anoon okay?" Snuffles asks.
"Yeah, I think so," you say in between coughs and gasps. "I thought I was gonna drown."
>"Anoon almost did. That why we pull Anoon out."
"Thanks, Snuffles."
>"Welcome."
>Wait a minute, your gun.
>You feel around, but remember that you ditched your utility belt in the water.
>Fuck.
>Wait a minute.
>Your hands feel a familiar shape in your coat pocket.
>Feels like...
>You reach in and pull it out.
>Oh man, what a relief. You must have pocketed it out of habit instead of holstering it on your belt.
>From the looks of it, it's still functional.
>But now you don't have any more spare cells, meaning you now have to make your shots count.
"Where's Twilight?"
>"Here."
>Your partner is several feet away, wringing water out of her hair.
"How did you know that there was water at the bottom?"
>"I didn't."
>Oh.
>"How much further, Snuffles?"
>"Is close."
>"Then let's go. I'm starting to get sick of this place."

>Snuffles enters a room with the rest of you close behind.
>Compared to the rest of this dreary cave, this space is definitely better decorated.
>Almost civilized.
>Crudely-carved pillars line the perimeter, and jutting out of the middle of the ceiling is an arrangement of glowing crystals.
>In the very center of the room stands an elevated pedestal about three feet high.
>Twilight walks over to it, running a hand over the top of the surface.
>"Wait a minute..."
>She bends over and looks around, her head darting back and forth frantically.
>"Where is it?"
>Snuffles walks over to her.
>"We not know. Was here before. Promise."
>Twilight grips the pedestal, starting to tremble with rage.
>"You liar!"
>She then feels around her waist, as if searching for something to kill the shifter with. But she doesn't have anything.
>"Shoot that traitorous sack of filth, Anon!" she points to Snuffles.
"What?"
>"You heard me! Shoot it!"
"B-but--"
>"We'll find our own way out. We risked our lives to get here, only to find nothing. This one is as good as dead to me."
>Snuffles starts to get mad.
>It's baring its sharp fangs now.
>"Unbelievable. Everything was going so smoothly until--"
>A green flame then engulfs the shifter for a moment.
>The fire then disappears, revealing Twilight.
>A Twilight, that is.
>The other Twilight curls her hands into fists.
>"What do you think you're doing, Snuffles?"
>"Me?" Twilight Snuffles says innocently. "I'm not Snuffles. I'm Twilight Sparkle."
>One then lunges at the other, and the two start to brawl.
>Punches, kicks, and scratches fly through the air as they struggle to beat the shit out of each other on the floor.
>The two seem pretty evenly matched in strength.
>But you don't want anyone in your group to die.
"Stop it! The both of you!" you command as you draw your firearm.
>Upon seeing your gun, the two stop fighting and pull themselves up.
>"Shoot her! She's not the real Twilight!" one shouts and points at the other. "Just look at her stupid face! You know she has to be fake!"
>"No! Shoot her!"
>Your eyes dart between the two roughed up Twilights, not knowing what to do.
>But something catches your eye.
>"Twilight," you say to one of them. "Your arm."
>One of the two looks at her arm. There's a tear in the sleeve, and green blood is oozing down her hand and onto the floor.
>The wounded Twilight looks to it in shock then turns to you.
>Knowing that the act is up, she turns back to her original form.
>"Please," Suffles says. "No kill us. We promise we not betray."
>But before you can respond, a bolt of plasma flies over your shoulder and hits Twilight square in the forehead, and she falls backwards onto the floor.
"Twi!"
>You turn around to see a figure at the doorway. However, it's too dark to see who it is.
>With adrenaline rushing through your body, you aim your gun and fire.
>The figure dodges to the side and hits the floor as the bolt whizzes past it.
>"Don't shoot, you idiot!" she shouts as she slowly gets back up.
>Wait a minute.
>That voice.
"...Twi?"
>Twilight enters the room, rifle and other hand extended outward to indicate she's friendly.
>She has all her equipment with her, and she's covered in dirt and shifter blood.
"But you were with us, and..."
>"Look again."
>You turn around and expect to see Twilight's corpse.
>But instead you find a shifter with a nasty hole in its head.
>Twilight aims her gun at Snuffles.
>"You have exactly one chance to tell me the truth, bud. Did you and that thing try to complete our deal without me, while intending to use Anon as your escort out?"
>Snuffles looks down.
>"We not know you here," it says. "We find Anoon first, and we see Twilight Sparky his friend. And we thought Twilight Sparky no here. We tired of waiting, so we try with Anon."
>This is crazy. The entire time you thought that Twilight was with you.
>Then the realization dawns on you.
>You found Twilight conveniently in the same room after you went down the slope, even though she probably ended up somewhere else. And the Twilight you found didn't have so much as a scratch on her.
>She also didn't have any of her equipment with her when you found her. Losing it all on the way down seemed rather odd, now that you think about it.
>And none of the shifters targeted their illusions towards her, either.
>Having you shoot Snuffles would leave no loose ends, since Snuffles was in on it.
>Though that last part was probably not something they agreed on.
"Holy shit..."
>Twilight sighs and puts down her rifle.
>"See, Anon? This is why you can never completely trust shifters. They're a shifty bunch."
"But if you needed Snuffles--"
>"Snuffles?"
"I named it."
>"Are you kidding me?" Twilight says as she pinches the bridge of her nose. "You NAMED it? Great. Now you're emotionally attached."
>She sighs and walks over to the empty pedestal.
>"Continue."
"If you needed Snuffles to get here, then how were to able to find this place?"
>"Wasn't hard, really."
>Twilight takes out a scanner and points it around the room.
>"All I had to do was to follow the commotion and the trail of bodies. Good job with the pest extermination, by the way."
"Uh, thanks?"
>"It's gone, but it was here not too long ago, meaning..."
>She aims her rifle at one of the pillars and fires.
>The rock disintegrates and melts as the shot makes contact, revealing someone hiding behind it.
>He recoils from the surprise reveal.
>You can't tell who he is because of the helmet he's wearing.
>Needless to say, you're a bit scared now.
>"Found you," Twilight says with a smirk.
>The figure leaps away as Twilight fires a second shot. The blast misses and hits the wall directly behind where he once was.
>The now revealed intruder then throws off his heavy jacket as he runs towards Twilight and throws a punch before she can fire another shot.
>Twilight dodges and swings the butt of her gun upwards in response, only to have it caught and thrown to the side.
>From his fighting technique, this helmeted person is skilled. Very skilled.
>It hits you that this is probably the guy that shot those people outside the cave.
>Wait a minute.
>That's not a guy.
>You can't tell from the helmet covering the head, but his body is too well-curved and agile to be a guy's.
>He's a she.
"This bad," Snuffles meekly says as it retreats away from the scene.
>This bad, indeed.
>Twilight throws a punch, but her opponent grabs it.
>She then tries to throw another strike with her free hand, but it's also caught.
>The two struggle as they try to overpower the other.
>Then the opponent leans her head back.
"Uh oh," is all Twilight can say.
>Her opponent swings her head forward, and her helmet makes contact with Twilight's forehead.
>Twilight clutches her face as she hits the ground, incapacitated.
>That's not good.
>Before the murderer can finish her off, you charge forward and throw a punch, which she easily sidesteps.
>You enter a fighting stance and try to do the old one-two while you still had the element of surprise, but your opponent effortlessly smacks away the first swing and dodges the second.
>She then spins around and roundhouse kicks you in the chest.
>The wind in your lungs get completely knocked out of you as you hit the floor.
>You're seeing stars now.
>That's not good.
>The victor walks over to you and pulls out her pistol.
>Well, this is it.
>She aims it at your face.
>Beaten by a girl. How embarrassing.
>Hopefully they don't mention that at the funeral.
>But she doesn't shoot.
>Instead, she cocks her head to the side for a few seconds and lowers her gun, as if she just realized something.
>"Are you..." she asks, her voice sounding very manly and robotic and not at all feminine.
>Her helmet makes a clicking and hissing noise.
>It splits down the middle and moves to the side, revealing the owner.
>"...Anon?"
>You can't believe your eyes.
"Lily?"
>Lily holsters her gun and brings you up to your feet.
>Lily.
>From school.
>Lily the lesbian.
>Here.
>"Hey, Anon! Didn't expect to see you here!"
>She pulls you into a tight hug. You're too shocked to hug back.
>"Sorry that I hurt you and your friend over there. I was gonna shoot the both of you, but then I saw your cute butt and thought, 'would Anon really be out here of all places?' And it turns out, yes!"
>She laughs and goes over to where she threw off her jacket.
>"Who's your friend?" she asks as she picks it up.
>Twilight's sitting up now, rubbing her head.
"Do you not know Twilight?"
>"Twi-who?"
"You know, Twilight. The new kid."
>"We have a new kid?"
"Are you not up to date with school events?"
>"Sorry," she says as she rubs the back of her neck. "I've been so busy that I'm a bit behind on all the stuff going on there. Probably gonna fail some classes, too."
>Lily walks over to Twilight and squats.
>"Sorry I hit your head like that. You really scared me with that big gun of yours."
>"It's...fine..." Twilight mumbles, still rubbing her forehead.
>"I can kiss it better if it'll help."
>"I'll pass."
>"Okay then. I gotta go now! See you guys later!"
>She hops over to the exit and throws down a pellet.
>Smoke then instantly fills the entrance and prevents all visibility.
>As expected, she's gone when it fades.
>"Who was that?" Twilight asks as she get up on weak legs.
"Lily."
>"She a friend of yours?"
"I...think so?"
>"Well that's an interesting development. At least we know who took it."
"Care to tell me what exactly we were supposed to get down here?"
>"Might as well, since it's as good as gone."
>Twilight goes over and picks up her rifle.
>"It was...a coupon."
>You laugh.
"Huh, that's funny. For a moment I thought you said that we came all the way down here for a coupon."
>"It was."
"...You're kidding."
>"I'm not."
"And why did we risk out lives over a fucking COUPON?" you shout, pointing a finger at her.
>"It's a special seventy-five percent off coupon to Zeta's Warehouse! Do you even know what they sell there? Everything you can possibly imagine! But they only accept starcoins there! Starcoins, Anon! A rare and extremely valuable currency! All the money in our world wouldn't even come close to being worth half of one! I could have finally gotten what I wanted there, but Lily went ahead and took that from us!"
"From you."
>Twilight sighs.
>"Well, there's no use crying over spilled milk. I'll probably just rob the place later."
>She turns to Snuffles, who is cowering in the corner.
>"And what are we supposed to do with you?"
>"Please no kill us. We promise we not betray again."
>"I'm not so sure. What should we do with Snuffles here, Anon?"
>You think for a bit.
>It's true that the shifter did deceive you.
>But it's in their nature, right?
>Not like they can necessarily help it.
"Let's let Snuffles live."
>Twilight aims down her weapon.
>"You hear that, Snuffles? You get to breathe for a little while longer."
>And with that, your partner turns and heads to the exit.
>"Let's go, Anon. I'm probably going to sleep five days straight after this whole thing."
>You follow Twilight to the entrance, but turn around.
>Snuffles is still standing there, watching you go.
>It's rather hard to read the expression on its face, because right now there isn't one.
"Goodbye, Snuffles."
>"Goodbye, Anoon."
>And with that, you leave.
>As you and Twilight head back up the cave, you hear a growing commotion in the distance.
>"That Queen really is the cave bicycle, isn't she?"
"Do we really have to fight them?"
>"Do you want to live?"
"At this point I'm not so sure anymore."
>Twilight checks her gun and ammo.
>"I think I have enough. You?"
"This is my last cell. Can I have some of yours?"
>"It doesn't work that way, Anon. They're the equivalent different calibers. You ever tried firing a 7.62 round in a 9mm pistol? You can't. The cell wouldn't even fit. And even if it did, your gun would probably explode. And kill you."
>Well that's great.
>The ground starts to shake.
>They're getting close.
>"Ready to carry out a genocide?" she jokes.
"Ready to get out of here."
>You can see them now. Hordes of shifters advancing towards you.
>Some of them are still in the form of people you know, while others are strangers that Twilight probably recognizes.
>"Hey, Anon!" Gilbert Gottfried shouts. "There you are! For a moment I thought you decided to leave this place and go fuck some AIDS infested whores at the local strip club, otherwise known as my wife's house!"
>You bring up your gun and aim it into the oncoming wave.
"Good one, Gilbert," you whisper sadly. "Good one."

>You're sitting at the dinner table in your home sweet home.
>Your real dad is here.
>Your real mom is here.
>Your real Twilight is here.
>And your real you is here.
>"So," your dad says. "What do your parents do?"
>Twilight, who was nodding off in her seat, jolts awake.
>Maybe having a family dinner on the same day as an adventure is a bad idea.
>You can almost hear your bed screaming your name like a lover on her period.
>"Huh?" she asks.
"My dad's wondering what your parents do."
>"Oh."
>Twilight pokes at her spaghetti, which she's barely touched.
>"My parents..."
>Her voice trails off as her eyes start to close again.
>"...are magical unicorns in a land of rainbows, and they serve the cupcake king of candy..."
>She falls face-first into her spaghetti.
>Hopefully she doesn't drown in marinara.
>Your parents look at each other, visibly confused.
>"Did she just...fall asleep?"
"What? No. She's fine."
>You reach over and poke her with your fork, which still has a half-eaten meatball attached to it.
"Hey Twi. Twi. Get up. Get..."
>You slide off your chair and hit the floor.
>But you don't feel like getting back up. Not in the slightest.
>Besides. The tiles are so...comfortable...
>"Anon?" your mother asks as she looks over at you. "Honey! he fell asleep, too! What is this girl doing to my poor little Anon?"
>"Now now," the father says as he sips his wine. "They're probably just tired from studying too hard."
>"But I've never seen him this exhausted before! What could they be possibly doing that could wear him out this much?"
>"I can think of a few," your dad mumbles into his glass, trying his best to contain a smile.
>"I'm being serious!"
>"Relax, honey. They're just kids. It's not like they're going on some sort of space adventure, fighting off hordes of monsters."
>"No. This just won't do. This Twilight is clearly bad for our son. Just look at them!"
>"Come on. Remember what your parents thought of me when I came over for the first time?"
>Your mother pauses.
>"I remember."
>"Your father threatened to shoot me with his shotgun if I ever showed my face again," your dad says as he puts your mom's hand in his. "But look at us now."
>"He really did seem to mean it, too."
>"Certainly sounded like it."
>And together, your parents enjoy a romantic dinner as you and Twilight sleep.
>You still on the floor.
>And Twilight in her spaghetti.