Susana gives Sharni a quick and dirty entry

==START!==
[03:16] <Roland> Susana, staring at this laptop, see Sharni climb into her room, crying profusely.
[03:16] <Sharni_Menken> Mascara errywhere.
[03:16] <Sharni_Menken> Which is also red, so just. Red. Red face.
[03:16] <Roland> Oh jeez you KNOW that's a bad sign.
[03:17] <Susana_Orwell> A very bad sign indeed.
[03:17] <Roland> You may act as you please now. Sharni can hear more roars. There probably isn't too much time left.
[03:17] <Susana_Orwell> Well, I have this computer here, may as well log into trollian (or esperchum or whatever we're using) and check on her.
[03:18] <Sharni_Menken> She heard her tablet ping on the way up, so she goes to pull it out of her sylladex.
[03:18] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Howdy, Sharni. Everything alright?
[03:19] <Sharni_Menken> 11 to sing do and recover the tablet?
[03:20] <Roland> Perfect. Though you don't necessarily always need to roll for your modus if you don't like
[03:20] <Sharni_Menken> Shh.
[03:20] <Sharni_Menken> Looks like Wren wanted you about.. Building a house? What? ..And Susana!
[03:21] <Sharni_Menken> MI: |&# No! Everything is not alright at the moment!
[03:23] <Susana_Orwell> DF: S'pose not. Would you mind doing me a quick favor and waving a lil?
[03:23] <Sharni_Menken> No, nooo. Don't take this out on Susana. Deep breaths. Deeeeep breaths. Pink ponies, happy skies. Pink ponies, happy skies..
[03:24] <Sharni_Menken> MI: |& Oh} right you may very well see me in this state can you not?
[03:24] <Sharni_Menken> MI: |& I am sorry} I am a mess right now}
[03:25] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Nothing to be sorry about, we're all messes sometimes.
[03:25] <Roland> Susana, of course, sees the interface we are all familiar with by this stage.
[03:25] <Sharni_Menken> She tries to wipe away the tear tracks and runny mascara.
[03:25] <Susana_Orwell> DF: God knows, I've been in some low points where I'm thankful no one had a camera on me.
[03:25] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Some high points too, for that matter.
[03:25] <Sharni_Menken> MI: |& Yes well}}}}
[03:25] <Roland> Like spade city, right? Good times!
[03:26] <Sharni_Menken> Ugh, her fingers are shaking. Typing accurately is hard.
[03:26] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Anyways, what's wrong?
[03:26] <Sharni_Menken> "|& If you can see me now} I am afraid I must humbly ask for your help} Susana}"
[03:27] <Sharni_Menken> "|& Can you see outside?"
[03:27] <Susana_Orwell> I look for the zoom out key and try to look outside.
[03:28] <Roland> You see fire. The area surrounding Sharni's hive may very well be exactly as Hell is depicted in the bible. An endless lake of fire as far as the eye can deez
[03:28] <Roland> *see
[03:28] <Roland> Fucking phone
[03:28] <Sharni_Menken> Sharni takes the moment to find a worn old quilt and start dousing it in water.
[03:29] <Susana_Orwell> DF: I think I see your problem.
[03:29] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Your everything is on fire.
[03:29] <Sharni_Menken> Oddly, the forest fire isn't the one she's worried about.
[03:29] <Sharni_Menken> "|& That is}}}} P-Part of the problem}"
[03:29] <Roland> You hear a roar, audibly closer.
[03:29] <Roland> Time is at a premium.
[03:29] <Sharni_Menken> She jumps.
[03:30] <Susana_Orwell> DF: What're the other parts?
[03:30] <Sharni_Menken> "|& Th-There ought to be items on your screen}" She goes on, ignoring the question, "|& Machines? We will need them}"
[03:31] == Roland changed the topic of #RPGSTuck_Orwell to: BGM: http://youtu.be/Ypvg1WC-m-Y
[03:31] <Sharni_Menken> She looks around, wondering if it all will even FIT in her cluttered little tower.
[03:31] <Susana_Orwell> I click around the screen for the items.
[03:32] <Sharni_Menken> Oh no, will she need to go back down?
[03:32] <Roland> You see: the cruxtruder, the alchemiter, the totem lathe, and a pre punched captcha card.
[03:32] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Yeah, I've got some machines.
[03:33] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Why do I need 'em?
[03:33] <Sharni_Menken> "|& I-I need them} Susana} I need you to help me escape} C-Can you find space for them? On the grass m-might have to do}"
[03:34] <Susana_Orwell> DF: You mind filling me in on what's going on here, Sharni?
[03:34] <Susana_Orwell> I start trying to place the machines. First off, the cruxtruder.
[03:35] <Roland> The cruxtruder is a little clunky.
[03:35] <Sharni_Menken> She hesitates. "|& I have completed this p-process with Wren} Do you know her?"
[03:36] <Roland> Roll perception to find a good spot for it. If you fail the DC, it goes outside.
[03:36] <Susana_Orwell> !Roll 1d20+2
[03:36] <NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=10 ] | {12}
[03:36] <Susana_Orwell> ((Real quick, does Susana know Wren?))
[03:36] <Roland> You manage to find a spot for the cruxtruder. Future DCs will be higher.
[03:36] <Sharni_Menken> ((Did you ever meet her?))
[03:36] <Roland> ((You decide.))
[03:36] <Susana_Orwell> ((We never did an IRC, so I'm just asking if it's been established elsewhere or no.))
[03:37] <Roland> Flip a coin if you can't decide.
[03:37] <Susana_Orwell> ((I'll take that to mean that it hasn't been established elsewhere, so I'm just gonna go with no.))
[03:38] <Sharni_Menken> Sharni wraps the soaking quilt around her like a cloak. ..Just in case.
[03:38] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Nah, I'd remember a troll with a name like that.
[03:39] <Susana_Orwell> Cruxtruder placed, I move onto the alchemiter.
[03:39] <Sharni_Menken> "|& She is not a troll} I must introduce you later}"
[03:39] <Susana_Orwell> !roll 1d20+2 preemptive perception
[03:39] <NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=4 ] | {6}
[03:39] <Roland> You can't find a good place to fit the alchemiter, and so it must go outside.
[03:39] <Sharni_Menken> Sharni edges around to find the cruxtruder wheel dealie.
[03:40] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Not a troll? You certainly will then, but first let's get you out of there.
[03:40] <Roland> Finding it is simple enough. Roll strength.
[03:40] <Susana_Orwell> DF: I can't find a place for the alchemiter, so it'll be going outside.
[03:40] <Sharni_Menken> She takes out her broom and slots the handle through the spokes as leverage.
[03:40] <Susana_Orwell> I place the alchemiter outside, and then go back in to look for a place to put the totem lathe.
[03:41] <Roland> Roll with a +2 bonus then
[03:41] <Roland> To Sharni
[03:41] <Sharni_Menken> Whoo, canceling out my negative modifier!
[03:41] <Roland> Susana rolls perception again
[03:41] <Roland> As normal
[03:41] <Susana_Orwell> !roll 1d20+2
[03:41] <NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=7 ] | {9}
[03:41] <Susana_Orwell> ((Never lucky boys))
[03:41] <Sharni_Menken> 8-1+2=9
[03:42] <Roland> The totem lathe must be outside, too
[03:42] <Roland> Sharni fails to open the cruxtruder
[03:42] <Roland> Susana may place the card anywhere.
[03:42] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Lathe'll need to go outside too I'm afraid.
[03:42] <Sharni_Menken> "|& Ohhh}}}} #Pussywillows!!" She stamps her foot and goes to find something else.
[03:43] <Susana_Orwell> I place it there and look back at the struggling Sharni.
[03:43] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Need a strapping grubslinger to open that for you?
[03:44] <Sharni_Menken> She glances at her screen and laughs. It's a strange sort of overstressed laugh, but there it is. "|& If it pleases you} brave Grubslinger}"
[03:45] <Roland> Roll dex to bang the cruxtruder like that sexy lowblood back in Spade City.
[03:45] <Sharni_Menken> Saucy.
[03:45] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Well, you'll have to settle for the next best thing. My dextrous fingers.
[03:45] <Susana_Orwell> JUST like that sexy lowblood.
[03:45] <Susana_Orwell> !roll 1d20+2
[03:45] <NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=19 ] | {21}
[03:45] <Sharni_Menken> ....
[03:45] <Roland> With a quick Bang! The lid comes off
[03:45] <Sharni_Menken> Sharni may have a sudden case of the vapors.
[03:46] <Roland> AH DO DECLAYUH
[03:46] <Sharni_Menken> Oh no wait, might be fear and smoke from the fire.
[03:46] <Roland> You hear a roar, alarmingly close now, as a dowel pops out, pushed by a pulsating orb.
[03:46] <Susana_Orwell> I make a finger gun and blow on it, man I'm good.
[03:47] <Susana_Orwell> DF: I've got a captcha card here too, where do you want that?
[03:47] <Sharni_Menken> She takes the dowel, and motions for the orb to follow her as she asconds to the window. "|& Follow me please} Fairy friend!"
[03:47] <Roland> The orb takes offense at your homophobic slur, but follows you anyway.
[03:48] <Sharni_Menken> "|& By the other machines will do} thank you}"
[03:48] <Sharni_Menken> She pulls her gloves back on, and makes a quick descent to the ground. This time not pausing.
[03:48] <Susana_Orwell> I place the card down next to the other machines, and wonder what the deal is with all the touchy inanimate objects recently.
[03:49] <Roland> Well, Kernels are very sensitive creatures, Suze.
[03:49] <Roland> Roll acrobatics, Sharni.
[03:49] <Sharni_Menken> 11+1=12
[03:49] <Roland> You make it to the ground with no hiccups.
[03:50] <Sharni_Menken> She bolts to grab the card.
[03:50] <Sharni_Menken> Specifically not looking at the treeline.
[03:50] <Roland> The card is successfully grabbed. Roll... Uh, a d20-perception mod
[03:51] <Sharni_Menken> 12+2=14
[03:51] <Roland> Your perception mod is -2? Huh
[03:51] <Sharni_Menken> ...Huh?
[03:51] <Sharni_Menken> +2
[03:51] <Sharni_Menken> Oh, SUBTRACT the mod?
[03:52] <Roland> Yes
[03:52] <Sharni_Menken> 12-2=10 then.
[03:52] <Roland> You successfully manage to avoid looking at the tree line. Barely.
[03:52] <Susana_Orwell> I light a cigarette, sit back, and watch Sharni do whatever it is she's doing now.
[03:52] <Sharni_Menken> She glances at the card.
[03:53] <Roland> On it, you see a sword.
[03:53] <Sharni_Menken> "|& I presume you will be doing this after myself} I only hope you do not have to deal wi}}}}"
[03:53] <Sharni_Menken> She pales slightly. Why is there a sword?
[03:54] <Roland> For funzies, let's assume the sword is Fire Emblem: Awakening's version of Falchion
[03:54] <Sharni_Menken> Fingers shaking she shoves it in the slot and sets the totem to carve.
[03:54] <Susana_Orwell> DF: You do, huh?
[03:54] <Roland> The totem carves it.
[03:55] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Well, I won't deny how badly I am in need of escape.
[03:55] <Roland> The shape fills you with determination.
[03:55] <Sharni_Menken> "|& Dear glowing friend} I fear I might need your help too}}}}" She looks in her modus and finds... Huh. The apple pie. When did she shove that back in?
[03:55] <Roland> It was probably on a reflex.
[03:56] <Sharni_Menken> She matches the pitch on the card and it drops back into her hands. She offers it to the fairy orb. "|& I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude?"
[03:56] <Roland> You can hear Audley now. She's probably not more than 500 yards away.
[03:56] <Roland> Roll dex to PIE THE ORB IN THE FACE
[03:57] <Sharni_Menken> 16+1=17 to POLITELY BRIBE THE FAIRY WITH PIE, EXCUSE YOU.
[03:57] <Roland> The fairy gratefully accepts the delicious baked good.
[03:58] <Sharni_Menken> Right, time is short. ...She thinks. Probably, doesn't matter really. She takes the totem, placing it with resolute force on the alchemiter.
[03:58] <Roland> Destiny awaits ye beyond this button push.
[03:59] <Sharni_Menken> She then closes her eyes, focuses, and casts her cantrip: pyrokinesis, to create a ball of flame. Then presses the button.
[03:59] <Roland> Audley clears the tree line, crawling on all fours in her wounded state.
[03:59] <Roland> Fire appears to be leaking from a wound in her throat.
[04:00] <Susana_Orwell> DF: Looks like you've got some company, and she doesn't look too good.
[04:00] <Sharni_Menken> ...God, her bloodpusher aches to see her in pain, even now.
[04:00] <Roland> Be thine own knight in shining armor, Sharni Menken.
[04:00] <Sharni_Menken> "|& }}}}I-I know}"
[04:01] <Sharni_Menken> She takes the sword. With another note, she removes the firecrackers from her modus.
[04:01] <Roland> You needn't roll for it.
[04:01] <Roland> Audley continues crawling toward you, jaws snapping in a fury.
[04:02] <Sharni_Menken> She lights the ends with the cantrip flame, then points them in Audley's direction.
[04:02] <Roland> Roll dex to hit with what I can assume are bottle rockets on steroids.
[04:03] <Sharni_Menken> Flashing lights is the point really, but 12+1=13/
[04:03] <Roland> The lights blind Audley as she reaches the 30 yard mark.
[04:04] <Sharni_Menken> Sharni takes the sword in both shaking hands, trying to hide a sniffle and blinking back tears. "|&mp }}}}I am sorry} Audley}"
[04:04] <Roland> Audley merely roars in pain and rage.
[04:05] <Roland> The planet is moving on around you as the meteor impacts become larger and more frequent.
[04:05] <Sharni_Menken> She runs to meet her, inexpertly bringing the sword up and around to stab at her lusus.
[04:05] <Roland> You plunge the sword into Audley's brain, and everything goes white.
[04:05] <Sharni_Menken> ((Pfffahahaha youtube just skipped to megalovania.))
[04:06] <Roland> When your vision clears, you find yourself in a field of roses, dotted with towers of stone.
[04:06] <Roland> Audley's corpse is nowhere to be found, and you are no longer holding the sword.
[04:06] <Sharni_Menken> "|& }}}}Audley?"
[04:06] <Roland> Welcome, Sharni, to the Land of Towers and Roses.
[04:07] <Sharni_Menken> She lets her arms drop and stands, taking it all in.
[04:08] <Roland> ((We can effectively end here, if you like.))
[04:08] <Susana_Orwell> I sit, staring at the laptop, slightly speechless.
[04:08] <Sharni_Menken> ((I was waiting for an end yeah.))
[04:08] <Susana_Orwell> ((Sure.))
[04:08] <Roland> ==FINISH!==