AnalPlugAnon

[RGRE?] Anon the Cuddle Monster

Apr 19th, 2016
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  1. >that one prompt from before:
  2. >Ponies can understand Anon-words
  3. >Anon cannot understand horse-noises
  4.  
  5. >You are Luna, herald of the night; protector of dreams; the face of darkness
  6. >You are also very bored.
  7. >Nopony's coming to your night court tonight.
  8. >It's been... three days since anypony had troubles that couldn't be solved during the day by your sister.
  9. >Not that you're complaining, though; you never really had the head for politics.
  10. >>"Ooh, my neighbour's tree branches stick out over my fence! Fix it!"
  11. >>"Wah! This mare's ancestors might have done something to MY ancestors! Throw her in the dungeon!"
  12. >Bucking peasants.
  13. >They were half the reason you turned dark a thousand years ago.
  14. >And they've only gotten worse.
  15. >At least back then, mares complained about blood-feuds and assassinations.
  16. >But one thing hasn't changed: your legion of tight-flanked colt-filled Royal Guards.
  17. >MMM!
  18. >At least your nights aren't a total waste, knowwhatimsayin'?
  19. >"Oh! Oh, well aren't YOU just the prettiest little thing?"
  20. >What the Moon is that thing.
  21. >A bipedal creatures is stalking towards you.
  22. >Strangely enough, he has a look of utter delight on his face.
  23. >Not an expression you're used to being on the business end of.
  24. "Halt, creature! State thy business!"
  25. >"Aww, somebody's a grumpster! Is it you? Is it?"
  26. >....is this thing mentally challenged?
  27. "Is this how you address your Princess? Guards, how did it even get in here?"
  28. >"Oh gosh, you look so soft and pretty. I wanna pet you!"
  29. >What.
  30. >NOPONY pets the royal fur!
  31. >Y-you're saving the Royal Tuft for your special somepony...
  32. [spoiler]>Your shy, meek, perfect horsebando...[/spoiler]
  33. >You stand up off of your throne and begin to back away.
  34. >Your morality prevents you from harming this confused colt, but you're running out of space behind you.
  35. >"Get back here, you big muffin! I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna getcha!"
  36. >Oh Moon, is this what rape feels like?
  37. >You're so distracted by your imminent rape that you fail to notice that this rape-monster has closed the distance between the two of you.
  38. >With a yelp, he sits down and drags you onto his lap and lays you down on your back.
  39. >"Ohh, you're so soft. How did you get so soft?"
  40. >You want to answer him but you can't reveal your daily morning private spa treatment!
  41. >That shit's for COLTS!
  42. "G-guards! Guards, apprehend this creature! I need an adult!"
  43. >Your guards flood the room, looking around for a threat as best as their admittedly sub-par training has shown them.
  44. >Damn your decision to fill your ranks with eye-candy!
  45. >One of your guards spots your predicament and gasps loudly
  46. >>"Oh my Celestia, is that the cuddle-monster?"
  47. >Another one titters and does a little dance in place.
  48. >>"Oh, I LOVE that colt! He gives the BEST belly rubs!"
  49. >O-oh, my.
  50. >Colt-on-colt bellyrubbing?
  51. [spoiler]>That's so lewd![/spoiler]
  52. "Guards, get this thing off of me right now!"
  53. >But you are ignored.
  54. >Your guards talk amongst themselves about their meet-ups with his large monster.
  55. >Meanwhile, said creature is giving your tummy tum-tums slow rubs, and he's talking to you like you were a foal.
  56. >"You're my little cutie-patootie and I'll love you forever."
  57. >...
  58. "R-really?"
  59. [spoiler]>Is this what love feels like?[/spoiler]
  60. >Maybe you were a bit hasty trying to get this thing off of you.
  61.  
  62. --------------------
  63.  
  64. >....the buck is your sister at?
  65. >You are Celestia, and Luna isn't eating her breakfast-slash-dinner with you this morning.
  66. >You're having pancakes this morning, and your chubby little sister normally can't resist stuffing her face with them.
  67. >You suspect that something is a-hoof.
  68. >With poise and grace and all that bullshit, you walk through the halls of your venerable castle, opulent and imperial.
  69. >As you approach your sister's bedroom door, the sounds of muffled rap music grows louder.
  70. >...no, you were wrong.
  71. >That's FUNK music.
  72. >What is that that stomping you hear?
  73. >Is Luna dancing?
  74. >Oh goodness, you HAVE to see this.
  75. >Without any consideration for you sister's privacy, you open the door just a crack and poke your muzzle in.
  76. >"MACHO MACHO MARE"
  77. >Yes.
  78. >"I'VE GOT TO BE! A MACHO MARE!"
  79. >Yes!
  80. >"I'VE GOT TO BE A MACHO MACHO MARE!"
  81. >Mon Dieu!
  82. >"I'VE GO TO BE A MACHO~"
  83. >You are Luna.
  84. >You think you've maybe misjudged this gentle creature.
  85. >Sure, he was a little bit rough at first.
  86. >And sure, he didn't really consider anything you were saying to him....
  87. >He basically did what he wanted with you and didn't even listen when you told him to stop.
  88. >That part was actually kind of hot.
  89. >You've learned something new about yourself today.
  90. >You like to think that you're good friends with him now.
  91. >Maybe even more than friends.
  92. >Dare you say it?
  93. >The most forbidden of special friends?
  94. >....
  95. >Cuddle buddies.
  96. >If his babbling and half-mad promises are anything to go by, you think he's probably going to find a bedroom and just starting living here in this castle with you.
  97. >This is okay with you.
  98. >Because you NEVER get to have as much fun with ANYPONY as you are now!
  99. >You've invited him into your bedroom (NOT because you thought he might see your bed and decide to lay down and snuggle the Royal Tuft) and one thing lead to another...
  100. >The two of you are dancing to what was THE hottest song back before you were grounded and sent to your moon.
  101. >He's got your fore-hooves in his gentle grip, forcing you to stand up and balance on your hind legs.
  102. >This is the most fun you've had in CENTURIES.
  103.  
  104. -------------------------
  105. April 26, 2016:
  106.  
  107. >You are Cadence, and you regret staffing your royal guard with mares.
  108. >How were you supposed to know that mares were the stallions of the world a thousand years ago?!
  109. >You've found three of them already asleep, and you know that it's only a matter of time, now.
  110. >He's here.
  111. >You don't know how, but he's here.
  112. >But you are a princess, dammit! You won't be beat by a colt!
  113. >You're going to make your last stand in the most secure room in the palace: your bedroom.
  114. >With Shining on your heels, you sprint through the crystal halls, adrenaline amplifying each and every sound echoing through your castle.
  115. "J-just a few *huff* more halls, Sh-shiny."
  116. >....
  117. >....how long has it been since you've heard him complaining about ruining his hooficure?
  118. >You're suddenly aware that you've only been able to hear one set of hoof-steps for the last minute or two; that of your own.
  119. >You skid to a stop and spin around to look behind you.
  120. >He's gone.
  121. >No.
  122. >Please, Celestia, no.
  123. >You almost lost him at the wedding; you can't lose him now.
  124. >Not again.
  125. >>"Rock-a-by baby, on the tree-top..."
  126. >Your heart skips a beat.
  127. >>"When the wind blows, the cradle will rock..."
  128. >You taken an involuntary step backwards, away from the new voice.
  129. >>"When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall..."
  130. >A figure steps around the corner, bipedal and green. Your husband is asleep in his arms.
  131. >He.... he looks so comfortable and content.
  132. >Who would DO that to a colt?!
  133. >>"And down will fall baby, cradle and all..."
  134. >You think you just peed yourself a little.
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