yea bitch #pastebinmonday

Hi all~! I know it has been a while since I've done a #PastebinMonday and a lot of shit has happened since my last pastebin, so lemme just dump some feelings and some weird shit that's happened to me lately.

FUTURE: At this very moment, there seem to be no improvements regarding my life in Japan lately. Really don't mean to sound like a Debbie Downer, but it's the truth. I told myself that I'd give Japan another six month go and if nothing significant happened or improved, then I'd return to Canada in June (I say improvements as in finding a good job, improving cosplay life, etc.). Regardless of these things, I was under the distinct impression, from many of my friends who live in Tokyo, that we would be doing many more things together/hanging out/going to new places, but none of that seems to be happening. I was receiving tons of messages during my time in Kanazawa (about four hours away by Shinkansen) from Tokyo friends that said "oh, let's do this!" "Oh, let's go here!" But, every time the date gets closer and closer, the 'play date' keeps getting pushed back farther and farther, until it's just cancelled altogether. I thought maybe that would be a one time thing, but it has happened with literally everyone I try to hang out with, to the point where I have stopped trying to set up dates to do things. I realize this may sound extremely selfish, but the way I see it is, I could be living in Canada, streaming, making money, SAVING lots of money, and going to Japan once every six months, and have everything still be the same. So, why not go back? Seems like the better idea to me at this point and it's just exhausting, mentally, to wait two - three weeks, for all of your plans to just go down the tubes. Every. Damn. Time. Even the jobs I have applied to here have never contacted me back. It sounds really damn selfish, but I'd honestly prefer to lose my mind from boredom in my home country than here. But maybe I'm jumping the gun, there's still three months left in the term at my Japanese school that I've already paid for, so I'm only halfway there. Anything could happen. So we'll see! I'm trying to keep an open mind about it, but sometimes it's difficult. For the people saying "fuck that, I'd give anything to be there, why complain about it?" Well, Tokyo is really expensive, and almost everyone here has little to no time. If you want to be married to a career and never go outside always cramped into a tiny ass space, be my guest. (God, I miss space.)

LIVING CONDITIONS: I live in a sharehouse with about ten other people, and as some of you may have read from past tweets, the space is so tiny, it's akin to a closet, my bed is literally a coffin, and the fat French dude who lives beside me is a literal garbage human being, who has been nothing but a constant pain in the ass ever since he waddled his way through the front door. The good news is that I at least found a place to live, BY MYSELF, although for a muuuuch higher price than what I pay now. This sharehouse bed runs about $350 whereas the private apartment runs $770 a month. Honestly, I'm willing to put up with higher expenses and a bit of paperwork just to get this asshole out of my life forever. So at least that has improved, but I have to wait until April 4th to get the keys to it. SO I guess it's more snoring, body odour, and ball scratching for me for another two weeks. At least I have vacation starting next week, so I can get away for a cool seven days~ praise the lord. Who knows, perhaps the private apartment things will reshape my view of Tokyo, because right now, the Japanese dream is looking a little weak in the knees.

STREAMING: I have the ability to stream, but I want this asshole living beside me out of my life before I do more of it. There's no way I'm going to subject my stream to his shit behaviour. I can definitely start streaming once I move, and will do it up until my potential departure date back to Canada. I have vacation and will be moving once the Final Fantasy XV Gladio DLC comes out, so I won't stream it on release, but I will get to it for sure! Regarding moving back to Canada, I'm going to invest my savings into a decent gaming computer in order to actually stream at not-ass quality. This is long overdue, and once it is built, I will consider a streaming schedule and start streaming full time for you, the readers~! Expect more memes and other outrageous shit in the future. Streaming for my previous four months in Canada was a real test to see how much I could handle concerning the amount of time streaming, how many games I can juggle speedrun wise, and so on. So at least I can stream a bit more for you and give you some content that actually has decent quality. Any tips on rigs would be a great help, as I don't know what to buy... looking to spend maybe $1000 - $1500, as that's about what's in the Paypal account at this time. Looking forward to it!!
Canada speedrun plans are as follows: Resistance 2 (Any% - Co-op scenarios any%), Duke Manhattan Project (glitch hunting, any%, all nukes), more Jak 100% maybe! And of course there are a shitload of casual games I wanna play as well! I'll keep you all informed, too many to list now.

SGDQ: I'm planning on attending if I go back to Canada. If I don't go back, I'll see you all some other time. Things are looking good right now for attending though, so hopefully I can make something work either way! I won't be running anything, obviously, but I'd love to meet some new people! Come say hi!

PERSONAL SHIT (read at own risk): Remember that cosplay girl a while back? Well things got really fucked up and I haven't spoken to her since. Oh well, life moves on. Which, ya know, it did. I met someone else at a convention a few weeks ago, and it just so happened that I was in a jam with a cosplay and didn't know who to contact concerning how to fix it. However I contacted her through Twitter and asked her if she'd help~ she said yea! So we've been trying to work on this cosplay and she's been working on her cosplay, all while juggling really busy schedules, so it's been a little difficult. But, the one night we were supposed to work on it together, we spent literally all of our time talking to one another over dinner instead, and idk, it felt, really good! She's pretty awesome, really sweet, all around a great person with the kinda personality I really like~ hopefully we can hang out a bit more.
In case she finds this: you're pretty great~ let's go out sometime~!

So yea, this is a roller-goddamn-coaster of emotions. I really dunno what to do right now, because for the first time in my life, I have a shitload of options, and all of them, for once, are great options. And I have all the time in the world to make em! So whether I go or stay, I want you all to know that I appreciate you all, following my cosplay, gameplay, whatever, you guys are all great! Thanks for stickin by me. I could've pulled the plug on a lot of shit a while ago, but I'm not gonna quit that easily. I'll give it my best shot, and if that doesn't work...

plan b.
(b for bonesaw. is ready)