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- Replacement
- >Be an average joe
- >You and your family have always been dog people
- >Your first dog found you, when she ran away from her old master
- >He was a serious pot head who tried to turn all dogs into hunting dogs
- >When they failed, he shot them
- >Your family took her in and loved her until she died
- >You grieved like all the others, then you got a new dog to heal the pain
- >Everyone loved her, especially your father
- >He would play with her, cuddle her, even feed her scraps off the table
- >He was a better person for the love of that dog
- >It all changed when she died
- >It was all so sudden
- >Your dog, so bouncy and full of life and love, had a stroke and was paralysed
- >You had to put her down
- >Your father didn't say anything for 3 days afterwards
- >When your mother tried to snap him out of it, he beat her
- >When he was finished he screamed: "NO MORE DOGS! EVER!"
- >He then went out, and came back the next morning reeking of vodka
- >For the next month, he drank himself stupid
- >It was obvious to everyone that what he needed was something to fill the hole
- >Not replace your last dog, that's stupid
- >Just a new friend to help him get through
- >You discuss the idea with your mother and you both agree it's for the best
- >He'll warm up to the dog, despite what he says
- >So you both venture down to the RSPCA
- >Ask to see the rescue dogs
- >Three hours later, your spirits have sunk
- >Not one of these dogs would suit your home
- >You begin to leave, feeling dejected, when you hear babbling coming from some cages down the way
- >"Wotsa aminaws!" "Big not-fwuffies!" "Kitty fwend?"
- >You pause, and turn to the attendant
- "What on earth is that racket?"
- >"That's the fluffy pony enclosure. Those little biotoys from America. They breed like crazy and the ones that don't get killed by the wildlife end up here."
- >You've heard of fluffy ponies
- >Hell, you're a brony from way back
- >Fluffies were never big here, especially after Cleveland
- >But the fact remains, they were brought into the country as luxury pets
- >Required a special license to own one
- >But of course, this being Australia, every man and his dog ended up getting one for shits and giggles
- >Some went feral, but they're not as big a problem as they were in the U.S
- >Mainly because your wildlife takes care of itself
- >You know that fluffy ponies are creatures of infinite love, if limited intelligence
- >Maybe, just maybe...
- "... Can we see them?"
- >You and your mother are lead into the fluffy enclosure
- >It's not over-crowded, but there are a LOT of little fluffy creatures waddling around
- >All babbling inanely
- >"New daddy?" "New mummy?" "Huggies?" "Come pway wif fwuffy!"
- >One such little creature waddles up to you and nuzzles your leg
- >"Pwease take fwuffy home, fwuffy wan' be bestest fwuffy fow hooman!"
- >This one IS pretty cute
- >She has a white coat with a pink and fuchsia mane and tail
- >Kinda looks like one of the pony toys you bought years ago
- >You decide
- "Mum, whadya think? Wanna take this one home?"
- >Half an hour later, after filling out the paperwork and buying some accessories, you, your mother, and your new fluffy pony are walking towards the car
- >The fluffy is ecstatic
- >"Fwuffy haf new home! Fwuffy gon' haff basket, an' baww, and stwing' an' evwyfing!"
- >You smile and the hyperactive little creature in your arms
- "That's all well and good, but first you need a name."
- >The little fluffy's eyes go wide at the concept
- >"New daddy gif name? Wat fwuffy name?"
- >This one's a breeze
- "Ok little lady, your name is Plumsweet!"
- >"Pwumsweet wuv name! Fank yoo, daddy!"
- >Your mother looks at the little critter and smiles oftly
- >"She IS very affectionate... Are you sure this will work?"
- "I don't know, mum. But if it doesn't, I'd best start looking for somewhere to live."
- >Plumsweet giggles in your arms as a fly lands on her nose
- "... Somewhere that allows pets."
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