Blahblahblah

Alivi: So what made you change you mind?
[10:40am] Kondraki: reuben, essentially.
[10:40am] Alivi: That's great.
[10:40am] Kondraki: but then again, it was reuben who inspired me to want to leave in the first place
[10:40am] Alivi: He really cares about BBB as a whole especially the stability.
[10:40am] Kondraki: it's complicated.
[10:40am] Alivi: oh?
[10:41am] Kondraki: and it's why what's about to happen is about to happen.
[10:41am] Alivi: I'm sorry to hear.
[10:41am] Alivi: what do you mean?
[10:41am] Kondraki: gwen is making me GM, part of the offer he had made me a long time ago.
[10:41am] Alivi: ...
[10:41am] Alivi: what?
[10:42am] Kondraki: i'll be helping him run BBB from here on out.
[10:42am] Alivi: ....
[10:42am] Kondraki: yeah, i figured that woul;d be your response, as did reuben
[10:42am] Alivi: …I just am shocked he would do that.
[10:42am] Alivi: We have no need for GMs due to the PRP
[10:42am] Kondraki: you do realize we've made up, right?
[10:43am] Alivi: BBB is so small we shouldnt need a GM staff
[10:43am] Alivi: I understand you and him made up. But it doesn't matter in terms of BBB staffinf.
[10:43am] Alivi: staffing* or at least it shouldn't they are two seperate entities.
[10:43am] Kondraki: the reason we added PRP was BECAUSE i said no to GMing at first.
[10:43am] Alivi: Exactly.
[10:44am] Alivi: And it is a fantastic system
[10:44am] Kondraki: and it's staying
[10:44am] Alivi: And you just get GMship
[10:44am] Alivi: just because you explotied your friendship with Gwen
[10:44am] Kondraki: no, i didn't.
[10:44am] Alivi: Really?
[10:45am] Alivi: Why didn't you just work hard to become more active and devoted first before accepting GMship
[10:45am] Kondraki: really
[10:45am] Kondraki: okay alivi
[10:45am] Alivi: why is it that you were ready to just drop it and leave it?
[10:45am] Kondraki: let me just say this out loud
[10:45am] Alivi: but you will stay because you are a GM now?
[10:45am] Kondraki: you. don't. know. shit.
[10:45am] Alivi: excuse me?
[10:45am] Kondraki: i did work to be active, and devoted, and poured my fucking life into this RP.
[10:46am] Alivi: what is that supposed to mean? You've been nothing but two faced to me. One minute insulting me the next kissing up to me.
[10:46am] Kondraki: you didn't see it because YOU'VE BEEN HERE TWO MONTHS
[10:46am] Alivi: YEA and then you LEFT
[10:46am] Alivi: I have seen!
[10:46am] Kondraki: you've seen a tiny fucking window of me.
[10:46am] Alivi: I've heard the stories I've known it.
[10:46am] Alivi: First impressions.
[10:46am] Kondraki: you've heard poisoned stories.
[10:46am] Alivi: oh?
[10:46am] Alivi: So people telling me how good you used to be was poison?
[10:46am] Kondraki: i meant everything else.
[10:47am] Kondraki: i meant what dan and harold likely told you.
[10:47am] Alivi: oh so i am only supposed to believe the good things
[10:47am] Alivi: also Harold and Dan never told me shit
[10:47am] Kondraki: reuben thought otherwise.
[10:47am] Alivi: Reuben painted lovely tales of how amazing you were.
[10:47am] Alivi: He BEGGED me to work with you
[10:47am] Alivi: saying that I would love it
[10:47am] Kondraki: were? was?
[10:47am] Kondraki: i /am/ good.
[10:47am] Alivi: and it would be an amazingggg thing.
[10:47am] Kondraki is now available.
[10:47am] Kondraki: yes, until you decided you were too good for that.
[10:48am] Alivi: Because you had been ignoring me
[10:48am] Kondraki: i never ignored you!
[10:48am] Alivi: you stood me up many times during discussions
[10:48am] Alivi: say brb and never return
[10:48am] Alivi: You didnt GM on a day when you were supposed and stood everyone up
[10:48am] Kondraki: yes, because i get called away a lot to do things.
[10:48am] Alivi: and you always had an excuse
[10:48am] Alivi: Yes so do I
[10:48am] Kondraki: and because i only have an ipad that likes to run out of power when i'm on the road.
[10:48am] Alivi: All I hear is excuses
[10:49am] Kondraki: usually, the BRB with no return is because /i have no actual way to continue talking/
[10:49am] Alivi: you have never once owned up to things
[10:49am] Alivi: Say sorry
[10:49am] Alivi: apologize
[10:49am] Alivi: you know?
[10:49am] Kondraki: sorry, then
[10:49am] Alivi: Instead you expect-
[10:49am] Alivi: Well now you certianly don;t mean it
[10:49am] Alivi: you are just saying it for the sake of it.
[10:49am] Kondraki: i apologize for standing you up.
[10:49am] Kondraki: that was rude.
[10:49am] Alivi: True attempt and devotion to something gains respect.
[10:49am] Kondraki: no, i do.
[10:49am] Kondraki: i'm sorry i was blind to the fact i needed to say that
[10:49am] Kondraki: no, really. i forget myself sometimes.
[10:50am] Kondraki: you did deserve an apology. at the same time, i deserve some god damned respect.
[10:50am] Alivi: Either way a lot of the things you have done. has tainted my image of you. My respect I give freely. However once someone has damaged it. It takes a lot of time to heal.
[10:50am] Alivi: I cannot forget my perceptions of you as a GM or as a person who runs things
[10:51am] Alivi: You held up Reuben's Metaplot something he has wanted desperately just because I wouldn't cave to you.
[10:51am] Alivi: How do you think that made me feel?
[10:51am] Kondraki: no, i really didn't.
[10:51am] Kondraki: i just didn't want you taking a plot i wrote.
[10:51am] Kondraki: that's all.
[10:51am] Kondraki: i hate when people take things that are mine, it;'s selfish and dumb but there it is.
[10:51am] Alivi: e
[10:51am] Alivi: [12:01pm] Absrev: the options are, either we run the plot together, or it doesn't happen
[10:51am] Alivi: [12:02pm] Alivi: wait
[10:51am] Alivi: [12:02pm] Alivi: soooo if I dont run with you
[10:51am] Alivi: [12:02pm] Absrev: so either we work things out, or greece continues to never happen, along with gwen's metaplot
[10:52am] Kondraki: yes, and then i said "fuck it you don't need to work with me"
[10:52am] Alivi: Thing is all I took was she was going to be the Oracle and it took place in greece and anyone could've come up with that.
[10:52am] Alivi: She has the sapphire of Delphi for crying out loud.
[10:52am] Kondraki: that was my fucking idea!
[10:52am] Kondraki: the sapphire, the glasses, everything
[10:52am] Alivi: Everything in the plot I made was my own. If you wanna claim that that is fine. My run is flexible enough to even be run as a overall character meta-plot.
[10:53am] Kondraki: all the delphi stuff was what i came up with.
[10:53am] Kondraki: no, the plot is all yours.
[10:53am] Alivi: Good for you.
[10:53am] Kondraki: and i still like that plot.
[10:53am] Alivi: As do i.
[10:53am] Kondraki: but addison's metaplot was something i had been developing for awhile.
[10:53am] Alivi: I will eventually run it.
[10:53am] Kondraki is marked as away.
[10:53am] Alivi: just like the Danger collection
[10:53am] Kondraki: good
[10:53am] Alivi: Just like the uncanny valley
[10:54am] Alivi: the fire girl
[10:54am] Kondraki: i'm looking forward to it
[10:54am] Alivi: so many other runs I have planned
[10:54am] Alivi: however you sit there judging me
[10:54am] Kondraki: i have a ton of runs planned as well
[10:54am] Alivi: saying im a newbie
[10:54am] Alivi: and I know nothing
[10:54am] Alivi: However you have been blinded and have not seen how things have changed.
[10:54am] Kondraki: yes, because you are, and two months of hard work doesn't change that.
[10:54am] Alivi: It doesn't but imagine what it will be like in 5 months, a year, two years.
[10:54am] Kondraki: but you've still put in hard fucking work and i respect you.
[10:54am] Alivi: Im not stopping anytime soon.
[10:54am] Kondraki: neither am i.
[10:55am] Kondraki: i've been here since BBB's creation, i helped it come to life alongside reuben.
[10:55am] Alivi: Liar.
[10:55am] Kondraki: i'm not leaving until i see it through.
[10:55am] Kondraki: uh, liar? that's the fucking truth.
[10:55am] Alivi: You weren't around when I joined
[10:55am] Alivi: You had neglected it
[10:56am] Alivi: how else would you have not seen some of the things I did
[10:56am] Alivi: you have no idea of the work Ive poured into this
[10:56am] Kondraki: i saw the logs, alivi
[10:56am] Kondraki: i know the work you've done
[10:56am] Alivi: No.
[10:56am] Alivi: Ive done more outside of logs
[10:56am] Kondraki: i just said i respected your "two months of hard work"
[10:56am] Alivi: Quit degrading me.
[10:56am] Alivi: You act like you are so much better than me
[10:56am] Kondraki: i'm not!
[10:56am] Alivi: because you've been there for so long.
[10:56am] Kondraki: and i really am not!
[10:57am] Kondraki: wait wait wait
[10:57am] Kondraki: stop the presses a moment
[10:57am] Alivi: yes sir
[10:57am] Kondraki: both of us simultaniously think the other thinks they're better than the other.
[10:57am] Kondraki: something is wrong here, communication wise.
[10:57am] Alivi: No shit
[10:57am] Kondraki is now available.
[10:57am] Alivi: you havent beileved me since the moment i started speaking with you.
[10:58am] Kondraki: and neither have youi.
[10:58am] Kondraki: neither of us really listens to what the other has to say. we're just reciting our own diatribes.
[10:58am] Alivi: Because I have my reasons! But I sure as hell gave you a chance
[10:58am] Alivi: I asked to meet with you twice
[10:58am] Alivi: you stood me up both times and brushed me away
[10:59am] Alivi: only time you really talked was when Dawny wanted me and Reuben to attack Dan and Harold
[10:59am] Alivi: it was hurtful
[10:59am] Alivi: Then I gave up an evening for a run
[10:59am] Alivi: and it never happened
[10:59am] Alivi: even after you said you would run it in 15 mins.
[10:59am] Alivi: We waited.
[10:59am] Alivi: Nothing.
[10:59am] Kondraki: yes, and i am deeply sorry about that.
[10:59am] Kondraki: i'm sorry about everything that happened when me and reuben were working things out
[10:59am] Alivi: Again.
[10:59am] Alivi: You are your own person
[10:59am] Alivi: Anything that has to do with Reuben is moot.
[11:00am] Kondraki: it's not just reuben
[11:00am] Alivi: It is seperate you make your own decisions
[11:00am] Alivi: oh is it Dawny and jamie too?
[11:00am] Kondraki: no, it's everyone in BBB
[11:00am] Kondraki: you don;'t understand the dynamics of what happened
[11:00am] Kondraki: because you showed up halfway into the drama
[11:00am] Alivi: I don't?
[11:00am] Alivi: What is there not to understand?
[11:00am] Kondraki: no, you really do not.
[11:00am] Alivi: I'm not an idiot. I read the air quite clearly unlike you.
[11:01am] Kondraki: okay, what happened between me, dan, harold, dawny, and reuben
[11:01am] Kondraki: and lurker, and tom, and etc.
[11:01am] Alivi: I've been there since the beginning.
[11:01am] Alivi: I was in dicussion
[11:01am] Alivi: I knew the dating scenario
[11:01am] Kondraki: oh?
[11:01am] Kondraki: then describe it to me.
[11:01am] Alivi: Ok
[11:02am] Alivi: Harold and Dawny and Dan were in a relationship together following polyamory where you do not rank any love higher than the other.
[11:02am] Alivi: She met you and you were soon included into the mix.
[11:02am] Alivi: However before long she broke up with Harold. Which made him extremely upset. I remember talking to Harold and comforting him.
[11:03am] Alivi: Reuben was freaking out trying to also comfort Harold.
[11:03am] Kondraki: do you know why she broke up with him?
[11:03am] Alivi: We both encouraged him to sever all ties to Dawny
[11:03am] Alivi: Mostly me
[11:03am] Alivi: I said that he shouldn't be paying for anything that has to do with her
[11:03am] Kondraki: ...you do realize
[11:03am] Alivi: No i don't.
[11:03am] Kondraki: he is asking for money owed, from ME
[11:03am] Kondraki: right now
[11:03am] Alivi: I told him to cut his losses and let it go.
[11:04am] Kondraki: he is demanding i pay him
[11:04am] Kondraki: let me illustrate something you likely don't know: amber and harold's relationship was screwed long before i showed up.
[11:05am] Alivi: They seemed fine to me
[11:05am] Kondraki: they weren't.
[11:05am] Alivi: He would often tell me how wonderful it was
[11:05am] Alivi: he was really happy.
[11:05am] Alivi: And she said she was too.
[11:05am] Kondraki: yes, from his side. she wasn't.
[11:05am] Alivi: She even would joke with me.
[11:05am] Kondraki: yes, and yet she broke up with him after he disrespected her and disregarded her opinions for the umpteenth time.
[11:06am] Alivi: And he cut of her phone bill and they went their merry little seperate ways. There will always be two sides to a story.
[11:06am] Kondraki: this had nothing to do with "ranking" love.
[11:06am] Kondraki: regardless, you're missing the actual story.
[11:06am] Kondraki: the story of me and reuben
[11:07am] Alivi: Reuben who had cancer and his friend of two years?
[11:07am] Alivi: who vanished.
[11:07am] Alivi: Tell me your side.
[11:07am] Kondraki: yes, i did freak out and abandon him for a few weeks.
[11:07am] Kondraki: and it was during his time of need, and i regret it every day since.
[11:08am] Alivi: Few weeks.
[11:08am] Kondraki: i beat myself up over it every day.
[11:08am] Kondraki: yes, a few weeks. outside of that time, i talked to him every single day.
[11:08am] Alivi: You know how desperate he is to have you as his friend?
[11:08am] Kondraki: i'll print out god damned imessage logs.
[11:08am] Kondraki: yes, i do. do you know why?
[11:08am] Alivi: How far he is willing to go for you?
[11:08am] Kondraki: because he loves me.
[11:08am] Alivi: He made you GM to make sure you wouldn't leave.
[11:08am] Alivi: I know.
[11:08am] Alivi: He loves you greatly.
[11:08am] Kondraki: and when i told him i loved dawny, he freaked out
[11:09am] Kondraki: and told me that he had real, romantic feelings for me, that i couldn't reconcile.
[11:09am] Kondraki: just by loving someone else, and not being able to return the kind of feelings he had for me, i was hurting him so badly.
[11:10am] Alivi: No
[11:10am] Alivi: you hurt him badly
[11:10am] Kondraki: can you see why i had trouble talking to him? this was while he was going through the worst of his liver failure induced lows, when he was saying the most horrible things to me.
[11:10am] Alivi: because while he was scared,
[11:10am] Alivi: dying
[11:10am] Alivi: and alone
[11:10am] Alivi: he didn't have the one guy he thought would have his back.
[11:10am] Kondraki: yes, and i left, because i wasn't strong enough to handle it.
[11:11am] Kondraki: and i've been trying to make up for that weakness ever since.
[11:11am] Alivi: Quite being a victim
[11:11am] Alivi: I have no pity.
[11:11am] Alivi: I know how it feels.
[11:11am] Alivi: But we have to be our best to be there for the people who matter to us
[11:11am] Kondraki: really? you know how it feels?
[11:12am] Alivi: Yea…. I actually do.
[11:12am] Alivi: I have scars on me that I can never erase and sins I can never atone for.
[11:12am] Kondraki: because i lost the one person i needed too, because he turned into an unrecognizable entity, one who i couldn't talk to without hours and hours of horrific discussions that made me feel like slamming my ipad into a wall and jumping out a window.
[11:12am] Alivi: I've lost people around me.
[11:13am] Kondraki: you only care about reuben's side of this, that's all anyone cares about, because i should be happy, right?
[11:14am] Alivi: Are you not happy? You have a woman and child, a wonderful family.
[11:14am] Kondraki is marked as away.
[11:14am] Alivi: You have GM ship of BBB
[11:14am] Kondraki: i do, and they make me very happy. but that's a new part of me.
[11:14am] Alivi: You have your friend who you have made up to.
[11:14am] Alivi: So tell me. Why so unhappy?
[11:14am] Kondraki: because, i feel like i'm losing every bit of my old self to what happened.
[11:15am] Kondraki: and i don't want to lose that part of me.
[11:15am] Alivi: Then don't change.
[11:15am] Kondraki: i don't want to step away from the things i care about.
[11:15am] Alivi: Stay the same.
[11:15am] Alivi: We go through things that impact us to help us grow. But if we hold onto and live in the past we do nothing but damage and hurt others around us.
[11:15am] Alivi: Things are never what they seem my dear friend.
[11:15am] Kondraki: i know this, alivi
[11:16am] Alivi: No you don't.
[11:16am] Alivi: You live with blinders on.
[11:16am] Kondraki: and seriously maybe you don't notice but you do sort of talk down to people, a lot.
[11:16am] Kondraki: which is likely why i thought you had a superiority complex.
[11:16am] Kondraki: i mean you're doing it RIGHT NOW
[11:16am] Alivi: Everyone has one of those. Gwen has a massive one.
[11:16am] Kondraki: claiming things about me when you don't know anything about me.
[11:17am] Kondraki: see, people keep claiming that about him
[11:17am] Kondraki: but i don't see it.
[11:17am] Alivi: He says it!
[11:17am] Alivi: ALL THE TIME
[11:17am] Kondraki: because others have convinced him that it's true.
[11:17am] Kondraki: like his 'friend' rob
[11:17am] Kondraki is now available.
[11:17am] Kondraki: they convince him he's the one who's the problem, when they're the ones causing the damage
[11:18am] Alivi: Who is rob?
[11:18am] Kondraki: lurker.
[11:18am] Alivi: I've seen it happen though, I seen him take blame for things just to fix everything.
[11:18am] Alivi: Sometimes I get worried and I ask him what are you doing?
[11:18am] Alivi: And he says
[11:18am] Alivi: Trust me.
[11:18am] Alivi: …He only does horrible things when it is for the greater good.
[11:19am] Kondraki: i know. it's a problem.
[11:19am] Kondraki: but even still, i trust him regardless
[11:20am] Alivi: Same.
[11:20am] Alivi: I've trusted Reuben since the day i met him.
[11:20am] Kondraki: before BBB there was razorwing, and what happened there is what makes me trust him so completely.
[11:22am] Kondraki: the point of all this is, i respect you. i respect what you're trying to do, and i want to help any way i can.
[11:22am] Kondraki: BBB is something that can become truly amazing, and i know you're an essential part of making that happen now.
[11:23am] Kondraki: but i can't do that if you're not willing to even work with me, or consider my place here legitimate.
[11:24am] Alivi: Then I am begging you.
[11:24am] Kondraki is marked as away.
[11:24am] Alivi: Please.
[11:24am] Alivi: If you care at all for the stability and well being of BBB
[11:24am] Alivi: do not take the GMship right now.
[11:24am] Alivi: Wait until things stabalize
[11:25am] Alivi: and take it later.
[11:25am] Alivi: It's far too unstable at the moment. If you just looked around you will see that.
[11:25am] Kondraki: explain your reasoning and i'll consider it
[11:26am] Kondraki: not that i don't trust your opinion
[11:26am] Alivi: You are still trying to make your impression again.
[11:26am] Kondraki: but i need to know more
[11:26am] Alivi: You have been gone for a bit. People's opinions have slipped.
[11:27am] Alivi: Right now it is a politics game.
[11:27am] Alivi: Popular opinion is against you. By taking the GM ship you risk it declining greatly.
[11:27am] Kondraki: the issue i have is that it will only be worse once harold is back
[11:27am] Alivi: Wait and have your opinion regained and respect given back. Even once harold has returned
[11:27am] Alivi: Because you know Gwen wont tolerate fights about this anymore
[11:27am] Kondraki is now available.
[11:27am] Alivi: It will end.
[11:28am] Alivi: But what you do is up to you.
[11:28am] Alivi: Either you take this GMship
[11:28am] Alivi: and you risk the entire BBB cast uprising
[11:28am] Kondraki: of course, but thank you for the advice, it won't be taken lightly
[11:28am] Alivi: or you pause. Step back.
[11:28am] Alivi: And wait it.
[11:28am] Kondraki: and the entire cast, including you?
[11:29am] Kondraki: because i know that dawny, tom, and lurker don't have ill opinions of me
[11:29am] Alivi: …unforentely yes. Mostly because I do not feel there is a need for a GM at this time. I see your GMship is a threat to the stability of BBB. I do not know of lurker or Tom.
[11:29am] Alivi: But if you take this GMship tonight.
[11:29am] Alivi: I will cry out against.
[11:29am] Alivi: And I will make my opinions well known.
[11:31am] Kondraki: this is a bit odd, you're saying it's a political game, but that you'd be the one who makes it one?
[11:31am] Kondraki: and you'd be the one who'd turn popular opinion against me?
[11:31am] Alivi: It's been a political game since the beginning.
[11:31am] Alivi: People have their opinions
[11:31am] Alivi: they keep them to themselves.
[11:31am] Kondraki: no, it was never meant to be a political game.
[11:31am] Alivi: One voice.
[11:31am] Kondraki: gwen never wanted that to happen here.
[11:31am] Alivi: makes people in turn voice their own.
[11:31am] Alivi: He didn't.
[11:31am] Alivi: But you made it that way.
[11:32am] Kondraki: no, i really did not.
[11:32am] Alivi: All the time you tell me who is supportive of you.
[11:32am] Alivi: And whose opinions aren't tainted.
[11:32am] Kondraki: yes, because for awhile NO ONE was
[11:32am] Kondraki: and i feel like i have to prove i'm not evil to everyone
[11:32am] Alivi: Whose fault was it for appearing evil in the first place
[11:33am] Kondraki: equally reuben and i's.
[11:33am] Alivi: Oh?
[11:33am] Kondraki: we actually just talked about this.
[11:33am] Kondraki: he and i
[11:33am] Alivi: So it was Reuben who got cancer on purpose to make you look bad for when you abandoned him?
[11:33am] Alivi: Or was it Reuben's fault for trying to force people to like you still?
[11:33am] Kondraki: it was reuben who couldn't accept i loved someone else, and attacked me.
[11:33am] Alivi: I have never once seen him attack anyone.
[11:33am] Kondraki: it was reuben who talked behind my back and involved everyone in something between the two of us
[11:34am] Alivi: He was hurt.
[11:34am] Kondraki: yes, because you weren't there for the conversations between the two of us
[11:34am] Alivi: And lost.
[11:34am] Kondraki: and so was i.
[11:34am] Alivi: Victim game?
[11:34am] Kondraki: reuben actually lied to people, alivi.
[11:34am] Kondraki: and i forgive him for it because he was in a shitty place
[11:35am] Alivi: About what?
[11:35am] Alivi: What did he lie about?
[11:35am] Kondraki: but even he knows that those lies have caused much of this instability, as much as my leaving did.
[11:35am] Kondraki: about things i said to him, things i did to him, things i was doing with amber...
[11:35am] Alivi: Like?
[11:35am] Alivi: What you haven't had sex?
[11:35am] Alivi: You didn't stop talking to him?
[11:36am] Kondraki: of course i have
[11:36am] Kondraki: i never stopped talking to him
[11:36am] Kondraki: even when i wasn't really there, i still sent him messages
[11:36am] Alivi: You talked to him every day when he was scared?
[11:36am] Alivi: just a hi
[11:36am] Alivi: or how are you
[11:36am] Alivi: or im not feeling well today?
[11:36am] Alivi: those dont count
[11:36am] Alivi: as true support
[11:36am] Alivi: He needed TRUE support
[11:36am] Alivi: from a friend
[11:36am] Alivi: you denied him of this
[11:37am] Alivi: so he went searching for others
[11:37am] Kondraki: do you have any idea how hard it was to talk to him beyond any of that?
[11:37am] Alivi: Like what?
[11:37am] Alivi: What he supposed to be happy?
[11:37am] Kondraki: yes, and then he said things that weren't true because the reality he could spin was softer and warmer.
[11:37am] Alivi: Fine?
[11:37am] Alivi: perfect?
[11:37am] Alivi: He had cancer
[11:37am] Alivi: He was dying
[11:37am] Alivi: He was alone
[11:37am] Alivi: and scared
[11:37am] Kondraki: no, but when someone is raging at you because you wont accept him
[11:37am] Kondraki: saying i made a CHOICe
[11:37am] Alivi: He dropped the love.
[11:38am] Kondraki: between her and him
[11:38am] Alivi: He stepped back
[11:38am] Kondraki: no, he never dropped it.
[11:38am] Alivi: He went to therapy for it. he worked hard to forget those things. Now Dawny has held it over his head
[11:38am] Alivi: every damn day
[11:38am] Kondraki: no, she held it over his head ONCE
[11:38am] Kondraki: and has apologized profusely since.
[11:38am] Alivi: So how many times have you talked to him
[11:38am] Alivi: without her there
[11:38am] Alivi: or without her interfering
[11:38am] Kondraki: every fucking day.
[11:39am] Alivi: Liar.
[11:39am] Kondraki: i'm doing it right now
[11:39am] Kondraki: i did it last night.
[11:39am] Kondraki: see, you keep thinking you know things, but you don't.
[11:39am] Kondraki: you think you've somehow appraised the whole situation but you keep getting it wrong.
[11:39am] Alivi: How am i getting it wrong?
[11:40am] Alivi: Tell me how?
[11:40am] Alivi: With points
[11:40am] Kondraki: because i talk to him every single day
[11:40am] Kondraki: i talked him through every day leading to his surgery
[11:40am] Kondraki: supporting him through every fucking low
[11:40am] Kondraki: telling him that he wouldd be okay, that none of what happened would hurt our friendship
[11:40am] Kondraki: that despite everything that happened, i'd never let our friendship die.
[11:41am] Alivi: And none of that is true. Please try again.
[11:41am] Kondraki is marked as away.
[11:42am] Kondraki: ...are you serious?
[11:42am] Kondraki: is this some "i reject your reality and substitute my own" level shit?
[11:42am] Kondraki: this all happened, ask him.
[11:42am] Alivi: After weeks of ignoring him over a girl? That doesn't absolve you.
[11:43am] Alivi: Fine I will.
[11:43am] Kondraki: i didn't ignore him over a girl, i ignored him because his unreconcilable love freaked me out.
[11:43am] Alivi: I will ask Reuben.
[11:43am] Kondraki: and i couldn't ever think of anything to say that didn't feel like it would just be hurting him more.
[11:43am] Alivi: So you are homophobic?
[11:43am] Alivi: A gay guy likes you and you get freaked out?
[11:43am] Kondraki: no, i'm just a friend who didn't want to hurt him.
[11:43am] Alivi: And I've been there
[11:44am] Alivi: Ive had guys and girls confess to me
[11:44am] Alivi: and I say
[11:44am] Alivi: sorry dont feel that way
[11:44am] Alivi: but lets be friends still
[11:44am] Alivi: its awkward
[11:44am] Alivi: but it gets back to normal.
[11:44am] Alivi: So again,
[11:44am] Alivi: tell me.
[11:44am] Kondraki: but it's not the same, because he made it out into something that was a choice
[11:44am] Kondraki: between loving him, and loving her
[11:44am] Kondraki: that if only he was a woman i'd have loved him instead.
[11:44am] Alivi: Last time I checked
[11:45am] Alivi: ok
[11:45am] Alivi: sorry redact continue
[11:45am] Alivi: So he said if he was a woman
[11:45am] Alivi: you'd have picked him
[11:45am] Kondraki: yes
[11:45am] Kondraki: that is what caused me the most unrest, made it hard to even talk to him about anything, because inevitably it would end up there
[11:45am] Kondraki: and that still doesn't excuse it.
[11:46am] Alivi: Are you sure you should be telling me that Gwen has that issue?
[11:46am] Alivi: I mean isnt that between you and him?
[11:46am] Kondraki: i'm telling you because i trust you to never talk about it.
[11:46am] Kondraki: and because i trust you, oddly enough, with an issue that struck me to my core.
[11:47am] Alivi: ...
[11:47am] Alivi: Why do you trust me?
[11:47am] Kondraki: if you don't want to discuss it, fine
[11:47am] Kondraki: because i know you're a good person.
[11:47am] Kondraki: because i'd like to think i'm a good person, and good people should be able to trust one another.
[11:47am] Alivi: ….I just dont wanna discuss anything that might hurt Gwen.
[11:47am] Kondraki: that's fine.
[11:47am] Kondraki is now available.
[11:47am] Kondraki: forget i said it, then
[11:48am] Alivi: Thank you.
[11:48am] Alivi: ...
[11:48am] Alivi: So what really did happen....
[11:49am] Alivi: between you two...
[11:49am] Alivi: if Gwen has just been lying?
[11:49am] Kondraki: what happened between is was that i wanted so desperately for my best friend to accept the person i loved.
[11:49am] Kondraki: and i couldn't take it when he couldn't because he wanted to be the person i loved like that.
[11:49am] Kondraki: so i ran.
[11:50am] Kondraki: and by the time i returned, the damage had been done
[11:50am] Kondraki: gwen hasn't lied about everything, there are horrible things i did do.
[11:50am] Kondraki: i said some things in the heat of the moment i'll regret until i die.
[11:51am] Kondraki: but i tried every day to reconnect with the person i knew was my friend, and thankfully we managed to do that
[11:51am] Alivi: oh….
[11:51am] Alivi: Well then do you think Gwen is ok to keep running BBB?
[11:52am] Kondraki: yes, i do.
[11:53am] Alivi: Alright.
[11:53am] Kondraki: that's the reason i didn't leave.
[11:53am] Alivi: Oh?
[11:53am] Alivi: So it isnt because he offered you to be GM?
[11:53am] Alivi: So where did the GM thing come from?
[11:53am] Kondraki: because he told me that he didn't have the confidence alone to keep up BBB
[11:53am] Kondraki: the GM thing came from an offer he made me weeks ago, and one he made months ago
[11:54am] Kondraki: but it's the weeks ago one that matters.
[11:54am] Kondraki: he told me that if i kept on the straight and narrow until the 9th, he'd make me a GM
[11:54am] Kondraki: but he did that knowing that he couldn't really do it, because of the opinion against me
[11:54am] Alivi: Yes
[11:54am] Alivi: it sacrifices the stability
[11:54am] Alivi: however he cant say no
[11:54am] Alivi: especially not to you.
[11:55am] Kondraki: yes, especially not to me
[11:55am] Alivi: The friend hes been fighting so hard to keep
[11:55am] Kondraki: which is something that bothers me as well
[11:55am] Alivi: Why not decline it
[11:55am] Kondraki is marked as away.
[11:55am] Alivi: Make it ok?
[11:55am] Kondraki: i am declining it.
[11:55am] Alivi: Oh
[11:55am] Alivi: good idea.
[12:00pm] Kondraki: yeah and i'll be staying around
[12:00pm] Alivi: ….ok
[12:00pm] Kondraki: if just to keep things from breaking down.
[12:00pm] Alivi: If you dystroy BBB
[12:01pm] Alivi: I will never forgive you.
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[2:17pm] Kondraki is now available.
[2:44pm] Kondraki is marked as away.
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