ARD's DraftSwap Submission

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**Item #:** SCP-XXXX

**Object Class:** Euclid (indicate which class)

**Special Containment Procedures:** Instances of SCP-XXXX-A are currently stored in Safe-class Containment Locker 128-B in Site-42. Mobile Task Force Lambda-19 ("Flapjacks") has been dispatched to locate instances of SCP-XXXX-B that appear and take them into custody. Instances of SCP-XXXX-B are to be kept in sterile humanoid containment cells, and interaction with these instances is to be performed in a sterile environment on par with modern ICUs. No substances containing calcium (see Document XXXX-A for a list) are to be brought into a cell containing an instance of SCP-XXXX-B.

**Description:** SCP-XXXX-A is the designation for a zipper, that when placed on the navel and rolled upwards to the neck, enables the user to extricate themselves from their entire integumentary system and most of their muscular system (with the exception of ligaments and joints), without blood loss, in a manner similar to removing an anorak and pants. Although their visceral organs, skeletal system, and other organ systems are wholly exposed, affected individuals (hereby termed SCP-XXXX-B) experience no adverse side effects. Instances of SCP-XXXX-B usually try to persuade people to use SCP-XXXX-A, but are pacifistic and do not make violent attempts at coercion, though they are extremely persistent. Persuasion attempts most commonly take the form of brochures, door-to-door salesmanship, timeshare sales pitches, and other such media.

 **All instances of SCP-XXXX-B have certain benefits, such as the ability to take on the appearance of another instance by wearing their skin, (even when their anatomies are incompatible), and the apparent ability to dissolve into a source of calcium and reappear at another source any distance away. They subscribe to a fluid school of thought termed "Osseosexuality", which contains elements of various philosophies and religions such as Hinduism, agnosticism, and socialism. Although no two instances have expressed the exact same views, common themes involve the idea that gender is a mental construct, that living things are part of the same "Collective of Bone", and that all invertebrate organisms must be eliminated with extreme prejudice.

If an instance of SCP-XXXX-B is unable to convert a new instance within a certain amount of time, their non-osseous tissue will start decomposing and the majority of their abilities will disappear, although basic life functions and all cognitive functions remain unchanged. Instances claim that successful conversions will nullify and reverse the degradation.**

**Addendum: Interactions with SCP-XXXX-B**

//From 04/13/██ to 07/23/██ numerous instances of SCP-XXXX-B arrived at Dr. Venkatraman's house and interacted with him. Attached are //

SCP-XXXX-B: Good afternoon, Mr. Venkatraman! I can tell that you have urgent business to attend to, so I'll be brief. I don't want to sell you anything; I just want to talk. You must be feeling very stressed: it's clear that a lot of people depend on you every day, and that responsibility must be crushing. I just want to know; what's on your mind today?

Venkatraman: Er, is this some kind of promotional stunt?

SCP-XXXX-B: Oh, no no no! I'm serious. Think of me as a rubber duck. What's on your mind today?

Venkatraman: This is free? What are you doing this for? No strings attached? No catch?

SCP-XXXX-B: I'd like to think I have more integrity than that. This is simply being neighborly. There must be something eating away at you. Why not let others know? It's not weakness to ask for help.

Venkatraman: Well, uh, thank you, but I'm not interested.

SCP-XXXX-B: That's a shame. Alright, thank you for your time!