Amanda's Surgery Trip

Amanda's Surgery Trip

This is a long read. It's heavy and emotional. There is a mountain of things I want/need to talk about. This trip was strenuous for both of us and I feel it's important to share everything that happened.

Like the rest of the world, COVID-19 had an impact on us. We had just finished wrapping up the marathon just weeks before the country started to feel the full effect of the pandemic. Amanda and I presumed her surgery would be pushed back, but we had no idea for how long. So we were stuck waiting.

Right at the end of May, we finally got the call from her surgeon's office in Maryland. They scheduled the surgery less than a month away. We had just about 3 weeks to prepare. We both kind of started to panic. There's so much we had to get in order in such a short time. Luckily I had worked things out with my job. I am so thankful I work for great people who allowed me to take this leave.

With paid time off for me and having the fundraiser money, everything seemed like it would work out. The next step was finding somewhere to stay. This is where things got complicated. We did as much research as we could trying to find the most affordable stay while meeting our needs. We needed privacy for her recovery (especially with COVID risks), a place that allowed our dogs, and having a comfortable place for her to rest. That was harder than we anticipated.

Airbnbs were either too expensive, didn't allow dogs, or not private. Hotels were the same story, but more expensive. The options were pretty limited. So we looked into renting a camper or RV to stay at a campsite. Renting a camper turned out not to be worth it. So then we looked into possibly purchasing a cheap popup camper. Knowing that we would have to make more trips to Maryland in the future, this seemed like a good investment. After doing some research online, we found a place that sold new and used pop campers.

We saw a listing for a "brand new" popup camper that looked reasonably priced. While there was no way we could afford a new one, we wanted to try to finance one together. Well... the listing was misleading. It didn't include A/C for one (who would buy a camper in Florida with NO A/C?) and many other "fees" that seemed to keep accumulating. It basically came out to TWICE the amount of the listed price. They ran our credit and said we were pre-approved. The payments were very low. But this is where the bullshit begins.

We found out they applied only using my credit. We were told it was better this way. Then, they lied in many places on the credit app (wrong income, place of work, position, and more). They assured me that they would correct it. I feel that at this point, a smart person would have just walked away. But I looked at Amanda, and she looked at me. We were running out of time. I felt like we needed to do this. We were desperate, and they knew that. I signed the paperwork and that was it.

A week goes by and we go pickup the camper. The camper seems solid. We pack up and head out days later. The drive up was mostly fine until the end. We hit so much rain and traffic. We got settled in at the campsite. We had about 1 day to enjoy ourselves before we had to go running around to appointments and get her tested for COVID.

The morning of surgery comes, and neither of us got any sleep. I drop her off at the hospital and go back to the campsite. The hospital didn't allow visitors so I had no choice but to have her do this alone. I was going insane. Waiting feels like an eternity. I tried doing some work, but just couldn't concentrate on anything. Finally the surgeon calls with the good news. The surgery was successful. Relief sets in.

Amanda's surgery was 7 hours instead of 3, so more complex than originally planned. Her surgeon confirmed her C2 (2nd vertebrae in your neck) was completely backwards. The surgery truly was life saving.

2 days later, I'm able to get Amanda from the hospital. Her experience at the hospital was terrible. She's in rough condition. Her pain levels are so high. Any movement is painful for her. She can't turn her head, she could hardly walk, and she can't lie down. I get her back to the camper and get her right into bed.

The days and nights following are unpleasant for her. She is in a constant state of pain. She cannot get comfortable enough to sleep. She has to sit up a specific way. Her neck, back and lower back need specific support to feel comfort. And she must be wearing a neck brace through all this. It's a constant struggle to get her comfortable. Something was always hurting.

This is where being a caregiver becomes challenging. Because as much as I want to help her, I can't. There's nothing I can do. The pain is just there, and she has to ride it out. I can't describe how that makes me feel. It's a form of torture that I cannot explain. It's a mix of feeling helpless and frustrated. Frustrating that I can't do more. All I can do, is hold her hand while she cries in pain. :(

There were many sleepless nights that followed. We start to realize that the camper might have been a mistake at this point. Every movement I made causes vibrations that Amanda could feel. I guess we needed some extra jacks for the camper. However, it appears the dealership either removed them, or they just weren't included. I'm not sure. Either way it was very wobbly. Bugs can easily get in these things too. I was killing spiders and earwigs every damn night. I understand we were camping, but even a tent can keep the bugs out!

The buyers remorse is really settling in. I'm basically stuck with this thing. Or so I thought... I get a call from the bank about the pre-approved loan. It's a verification call. Turns out, the dealership never corrected the credit app details... They asked me to verify my income and job. So I did. I told them the truth. Since Amanda was not on the loan, her income technically didn't count.

What happens next, kind of felt expected. I get a call from the dealership saying the loan fell through and I need to send in ANOTHER credit app. Yeah okay. I knew damn well I didn't need to do that. I knew I could return the camper once I got back. We honestly couldn't be happier. This was a pretty epic loophole, but the circumstances were in my favor. I did nothing wrong by telling the truth. I was naive to believe that the credit app would be corrected and I should have followed up. Always read the fine print. Lesson learned.

As I mentioned, Amanda is still actively recovering. She had a post op appointment with her surgeon in which they discussed her condition. As I've previously mentioned this surgery was not considered a cure, and we knew going into this that because of her genetic condition and full spinal degeneration more surgery could be a possibility in the future. Thankfully Amanda was cleared to go home. However, she does have some new symptoms that her surgeon confirms may warrant another surgery. Her body could also be in a flare, so we will wait and see how her recovery continues.

The plan was to leave on Monday (7/6) but Amanda began to feel discomfort in her chest. They had placed a PowerPort in her chest and she assumed it was related to that. So she got in touch with the doctor and they urged her to visit the ER before she leaves town. This was a nightmare. She ended up being at the ER for about 6 hours, and in a waiting room full of potential COVID patients. Luckily everything turned out okay. Amanda was discharged and cleared to make the trip home. We were able to leave and head home the next day.

We managed to make it home safely. The 18 hour car ride was rough for Amanda, of course. But I think we were both happy to be home in our own comfy bed. I unpacked and cleaned up the camper real nice then returned it the next day. GG.

It was a good thing the loan fell through. Because a day or so later, we found out the company Amanda worked for was sold. She got the news through co-workers. Not even her boss. As of me writing this, she has not been offered a position with this "new" company yet. She did wind up speaking to her boss & they're aware she still needs time to recover. Either way, she will be losing her current insurance soon. Unfortunately, this is all the information I have regarding this. I'm confident we can work through this, but right now, she needs to focus on recovering.

While Amanda is very slowly and steadily improving, she is very far off from feeling decent. A full recovery can take up to a year. She still has a very difficult time trying to sleep. And she is still in pain. Everyday has presented different challenges. I'm doing my best to take care of her and attend to her needs. It's just rough seeing her struggle.

Amanda and I are grateful we even had this opportunity. We never would have thought we'd be able to afford something like this. But it was possible because I have an amazing community. Thanks again to everyone who made this happen. I cannot say this enough.

I plan to return to streaming soon. I'm obviously in no hurry to get back. Right now my focus is on Amanda's recovery. I would like to put more effort into my stream. Go back to having fun incentives and maybe do some casual stuff. I need to work on some ideas, but I will still mainly focus on speedrunning.

Amanda has been vlogging for about a year now. I know some of you out there may be curious about seeing her perspective and experience with chronic illness and her recent surgery. She has so much to share. I encourage you to check out her YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfexX_n89KFPlAwi8tB2cOQ

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Love y'all!

-BB