nullification 4

Koume Bavmor says, "Kuso."

Kuso Hitoshi asks, "How has the day been treating you so far?"
Koume folded her hands before her pleasantly, soft palms clasped within each other. A broad, lopsided grin stretched across cherubic features, enough to bunch cheeks and allow that snaggletooth of hers to peek out the corner of her lips.

"Well, Kuso. It's been treating me well. how about yourself?"

Rather than sit, the Lady Bavmor stepped and turned, so that she stood just before the bench. There was enough bench sitting going on.
(Koume Bavmor)

Kuso hazel hues fell on Lady Koume followed by him giving a few blinks and his nails tapping the bench. His ears would folded down on his head with his staff resting in his lap, a yawn came shortly after.

 I can't complain, I just finished up my last bit of mediation for the day. I was looking to gather some more insight and such by seeming how slow the day is that might have to come later. I'm mostly relaxing a bit not really having much to devoted my attention to right now.

His hands now rested in his lap giving another yawn.
(Kuso Hitoshi)

Lightly bouncing on her heels, mane of glossy gold following suit, Koume swept half-lidded golden hues out over Huangzhou. It was a bit slow at the moment, but perhaps that was for the best. Energy saved as everyone caught their breath. Recovered from recent circumstances and build personal ties in their homes.

A glance over her shoulder, accompanied by a perk of her flaxen brow.

"It's good, you meditate. What we talked about will require quite a bit of that, continuously, should you wish to achieve it. As for insight, I'd be happy to give my own, though it may not be what you are seeking."

A hand brought up, Koume traced the ling of her jaw with plush fingertips, where spiderwebbing lines of green rieka still stained her skin. Up, and up the pale surface, until they rounded the shell of an ear.
(Koume Bavmor)

Kuso smiled toward the woman who seemed to be cheerful as always, he'd put his staff on his back and rise up stretching. He'd give a nod towards her as he was more than willing to hear insight from the woman, it's not about what he wanted to hear more so about what he need t hear.

 Ah Koume, You're insight on my situation is what need to hear and the fact that you are a mage in the holy arts. You more than anybody have a clear idea of what I'm asking and I'm more than willing to hear you out and express my concern. It's about time I give a update on my current situation anyways, so hearing a bit more from you could never hurt. That's if you have the time and you're not busy doing other things to help improve the city and such.

Kuso finally done his stretch and his ears perked up waiting for the response of Lady Koume.
(Kuso Hitoshi)

Seeing as no one was poking and prodding at the woman for the moment, Koume tipped her chin to nod at Kuso's invitation.

"I have a bit of time. Where did you want to speak?"
(Koume Bavmor)

Kuso would dive straight into the situation trying to get as much insight as he could on the topic. he'd tap his long claws against the little table with each tap the tea would create little was inside the cups. The man shifted to a more serious tone almost as if he was internally ill with the occult inside of him.

 During the last raid I tried to clear my mind and it kind of worked but the result after were gruesome.., the occult whisper commanded me to stop my attempts. They said that with them I'm nothing and tried to force me to bend to their will, thus I locked myself inside for a few hours and tried my hardest to numb the feeling and make them shut up.

I want to say it worked a bit they have been very faith as of late, but I don't put it pass the whisper to try one big attempt to break my progress.., I feel like I'm closing in on the breaking point and the whispers are afraid to lose what control they believe that had over my body.

Koume, how do I tip scales? I have understood the part about numbing and I numbed everything during mediation. But once I become numb to the feeling what follows? What is suppose to come next? I feel I'm at that breaking point of becoming crazy and lost or over coming the darkness and pass through the light...what must I do to keep the balance in my favor.

The man was really in-between a rock in a hard place right now and Koume seem to be the only one that knew the results of this path.

(Kuso Hitoshi)

Before settling down to have her talk with Kuso, the Lady Bavmor swept weightlessly across the tavern, buoyed just above the ground so that the very tips of her flats just barely grazed the carpet. She came to a gentle stop just before Gabriel, and with a polite nod, addressed the man casually. Friendly. A moment's covering of her lips with the tips of her fingers to stave off a quiet laugh at his antics, before she got right into it.

"Gabriel, hello again. Since it's a bit early for me-- I've spent most of the night working, and have only just recently awoken, if you could fluff some bread, toast with syrup, and bring us some water, that'd be lovely."

After hearing the response, Koume shifted back and away, floating across the floor and settling into the plush red cushion across from the Kitsune. Soft palms sat atop her lap, and she leant back, attentive golds watching as she listened.

"I see."

Not very helpful, but she wasn't done yet.

"The issue, Kuso, is how you're looking at this. Your magic is natural only to demons. A dark one fueled by desire that grows stronger through passion and delving so deep, you eventually go mad. The whispers themselves are certainly an issue, but you should not frame it as 'Keeping balance'. As 'overcoming the darkness'.

That isn't how it works."

She reached forward, and set the back of one hand atop the table, palm skyward. A little orb of light formed just above, glowing faintly. Brilliantly, a calming aura emitting.

"Exorcist magic, the holy arts, stem from desire as well. To protect. It is specific, Kuso. Since you are already too deep to cast aside your Occultism without help, and seek to control it, you must draw from a source that is not your passion, but your despair. Draw within. Disconnect. Dull your emotion, but still want. The whispers will stop when they believe you are succumbing, when you are not."
(Koume Bavmor)


Koume Bavmor says, "It is not some noble pursuit. Some brave, mystical art. You are hurting yourself to control the power, become stronger as a result, and stave off the insanity forever."

Kuso Hitoshi says, "..."

Kuso looked as if he was in a state of despair.., she remember the feeling she was referring to and it wasn't a good one. Just the thought of him having to go back to that dark past of his was enough to make the man shiver... he wanted to forget it, but maybe this would be the push he needed. Kuso looked visible sick in the face from her words and the topic of despair.

 I have to visit the place that hurt me the most..., the feeling I locked away in my mind in order to keep myself sane. This one feeling that caused me to be an outcast I must accept it and let the darkness think it's won. Koume…, I might really go mad if I revisit that feeling.

I locked it away.... I have to accepted it just to let the darkness believe it's won. Just so I can the whispers can stop? I have to live in a state of despair?

In order to overcome the darkness I have to live in a state of despair? Once the whispers stop....can I ever leave that state of despair or am I force to have the thoughts lingering though my mind for as long as I live ?

Despair.

The man seemed to be a little disconnected just thinking about the topic.
(Kuso Hitoshi)

The Lady Bavmor offered a thankful but solemn nod to Gabriel when he brought the food and drink over, deigning not to touch it for the moment, and instead focus on Kuso's questions. They were difficult to answer, mostly because he tended to focus on one subject and blot out all others. At least that's what she got from the few conversations they'd had.

It was an admirable trait for a soldier, or hero, but this sort of thing took consideration of every factor.

"I am saying, Kuso, that you must disconnect yourself emotionally from your magic. Purge the occultism from your mind through meditation. The act of doing so will hurt you. Cause a significant amount of distress and duress in whatever form it may take-- whispers, physical pain, illusions..."

She gestured and so on with a delicate roll of her wrist, before continuing.

"That will never truly go away, but by disconnecting yourself and becoming tranquil, drawing upon the despair when it is time to actually use the magic, you will control it. Do not plunge, expunge."

With that, the Noblewoman swept up her silverware and dug in. Spreading tasty jam across syrupy toasted bread, cutting into the crunchy-on-the-outside fluffy-on-the-inside treat, and bringing it to her lips to chomp 'n chew.
(Koume Bavmor)

Kuso ear perked up something that Komue said to him really stuck out, but was it truly the right way to go about doing such a thing. Kuso pondered in his own thought for a moment finally taking a deep breath hoping to finally understand and grasp the situation fully.

 To overcome the darkness, I must allow the darkness to believe it has control over me. To make the darkness believe it has control over me I must fall into a state of despair and once I fall into that sate of despair, I will have full control over the darkness. Once I leave that state of despair the power that came with it will flow out of my body and the only way to get it back is to make the darkness believe it's won.

Kuso wasn't sure he had the right idea.

 When entering battle I should allow all my problems to fall down on me at one time allowing the despair to take over. Once it does I use the controlled power in battle and the moment that the battles over I pull myself from that sate before I fall victim to it and remain in that state forever. Such a simple and effect plan yet risky at the same time. Koume please tell me I got some of that right, I honestly believe that that might be what you mean but correct me if I'm wrong.<font>

Kuso hazel hues met hers almost as if the man really had a understand from the conversation...the woman words have woken him up and allowed him to see the truth. His long claws tap against the table he awaits her answer.
(Kuso Hitoshi)

Koume took a breath, and set her silverware down. Half her food had been finished-- quickly scarfed down with surprisingly swift and oddly polite motions.

"It is a gamble, at first. The risk lessens the more you use the technique to control your Occultic magics, I think, but what never truly goes away-- and what becomes worse over time, is the numbness you inflict upon yourself. As you get better at controlling it, you'll find it more and more difficult to connect with others.

To be... a person. If you've ever spoken with the Chancellor, you'll understand the odd nature she carries around with herself. She is..."

A pause, and then a gentle sigh escaped Koume's parted lips.

She doesn't come out much anymore. She's gone dormant, to think, and be alone. You won't be able to speak to her, really. Let's just say she's a bit robotic."
(Koume Bavmor)

Kuso slightly understands the risk involved with this process, so many different thoughts ran though his mind at this very second and how much he had to lose in the process. Kuso could maybe understand what would happen with the attempt to control to full and he now offered a different out come of his situation.

 I give into despair and I'm able to overcome it for a short while, but in the process I lose a bit of myself each time. Thus I become disconnect each time I used whatever power I gain from it, it's like a risk rewards or a gain and a lost. By the time it finally sets in I have become almost fully disconnected with people and feelings almost as if I want to distance myself.

That seemed almost correct from how she explained it to him, he'd sigh looking off into the distance for a moment just thinking about the affect it could have.

 I'm still sorry to hear about your friend, I will try to at least not be that far gone and disappear. But I still think I'm willing to take that huge risk even if there is a slight chance I end up like her. It's really a lot to take in but I see feel I will go thought the process of removing the whispers.

I wanted to fully overcome them and that's what I will do no matter how far gone I might become. you never know I might still regain a bit of sanity and remain able to socialize with others… maybe not to this extend but I can only hope.


(Kuso Hitoshi)


Koume Bavmor says, "-That-, would be the balance you asked about before. "

Koume Bavmor says, "Good luck, Kuso- I should get back to work, however."