King of the bus

>taking the bus to go see a movie by myself
>a girl gets on and doesn't have enough to pay
>I say I will pay for you but she doesn't hear me
>I say it louder this time and say thank you to her
>she says okay and that she forgot her purse
>I said you too
>A person behind her asks if I will pay for her too
>and another and another and another
>some were black
>I pay for them all spending all of my movie money
>the black guy calls me king of the bus
>I take off my cape and wrap it into a turban around my head
>I start going up the isle saying sim sim salabim to everyone
>I see a girl and give her my mason jar full of spaghetti
>I say open sesame and try to force her legs apart
>she kicks my testicles and I fall back
>just as the bus is rounding a corner
>the bus tips over on its side and crushes a littler of kittens
>the black man yells this nigga so fat he knocked a bus over
>everyone laughs at me
>I say I guess I shouldn't have b-b-backed that ass up
>they all pull their pants off and start farting
>they some closer and fart into my mouth and fanny pack
>...I wake up drenched in sweat and spaghetti