Arena Funtime 3

"For round five we have Diana the Jinko vs Sally the Wyvern." The intercom bleeps out with no regard for our ears' virginities. Diana and Sally? Monster on monster?
This should be good to watch. We all crowd around the TV, and watch as the two fighters enter the arena. Two figures now standing in the center; A Jinko and a Wyvern.

The Wyvern does some sort of boastful poses and dances akin to that Kamen Rider show, while the Jinko merely stands there and watches with a tiresome look on her face.
"Alright, we've got the previous champion VS a newcomer for this round. Will Sally get creamed, or will the young babe snatch victory out of thin air?" The announcer yells out while a faint sucking sound can be heard coming from his location.
Almost as soon as they're given the go to start, the Wyvern takes to the air and begins circling around the at extremely high speeds. It'd be safe to bet that she's laughing in a taunting manner at this point.
This seems to go on uninterrupted for a few minutes, before she is violently smacked out of the air and into a nearby wall by Diana. And when I mean into a wall, I mean INTO it. The poor Wyvern is halfway inside of the wall, not even so much as twitching.

"Babe use less teeth- I mean SALLY IS UNABLE TO FIGHT! Diana is the winner!"
The Jinko returns back inside as a team of medics pry the Wyvern from the wall. Holy hell, I might need something more than a cheap shots to in against her...
The little lad next to me sees me staring at the screen, "I told you, there's a reason she attained the title of champion years ago. She didn't even need to use her weapon this round." The young boy next to me magically ages into an old man, with a glorious beard that's radiating sage-like advice and authority.
I hang my head, and clutch the sides of my skull with my hands, "I thought everyone was exaggerating, like people always do..."
"Well now you know that you're gonna end up with more than broken bones when fighting her, and knowing is half the battle." The old man speaks in an accent similar to Sean Connery.
"By the way, what's with your spontaneous age changes?"
"Oh, that? I'm a Wizard that wanted to stay young, so I made up a potion a few hundred years ago out of the vaginal fluids of a Succubus, the blood of a Dragon, and the tears of unfathomable sadness from both a Cyclops and a Mermaid. It technically worked, but due to some miscalculation, I'm constantly aging and de-aging."
"Is it a terrible experience?"
"Actually, no. It's quite pleasant."

"For round six, we have Molly the Mantis vs Alex the Succubus!" The intercom tells us to look at the TV in its own special way, to which we oblige.
on the screen is a Mantis with a comically over sized red scarf, facing up against a white haired Succubus wearing oddly stylish clothing...
Something doesn't feel right about her, but I can't put my finger on it.
The battle begins with the Mantis jumping over towards her opponent and kicking her in the face. However, despite landing a direct hit, her attack did nothing. As if in retaliation, the Succubus slams her fist into the Mantis' stomach, sending her flying into the nearby wall. She slams into it with a "thud" that can be heard from over here.
But it isn't over. The Succubus practically teleports over to where the Mantis landed, and begins pummeling her wildly in a barrage of rapid punches. Her attacks increase in speed and power as time goes on, with little glimmers of light forming around her.

It can't be...

?!

The Succubus finishes the battle with one final blow; an uppercut to the face. As she does this, a heavenly light shines down upon her as an angelic choir begins to sing out of thin air!
The crowd goes wild at the display, overlooking the mantis that was violently tenderized.
"A-ANGELIC CHOIR?!" I not-so-quietly think out loud.
Albert looks over to me with a confused look on his face, "What's got you so worked up? It's just music."
I turn towards him, and show him my dread-ridden face, "Angelic choir is on the same level as Jazz... She's leagues beyond me in terms of style and class..." I curl up into an assball and begin hyperventilating.
Albert shakes his head, "I don't understand you damn kids."