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TearyHarpy

is vladiator dead yet? the answer may surprise you!

TearyHarpy
Apr 12th, 2019
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  1. The Dork Knight: bagel bites are a girl's best friend
  2.  
  3. The Dork Knight: don't @ me
  4.  
  5. The Dork Knight: oh god audio issues
  6.  
  7. The Dork Knight: my life is officially over
  8.  
  9. The Dork Knight: (its within the vid i'll... live)
  10.  
  11. The Dork Knight: not with that weird four legged not with saws for feet tho what the fuck
  12.  
  13. The Dork Knight: trust no one who names their bot "Death Star"
  14.  
  15. The Dork Knight: Battlebots
  16.  
  17. The Dork Knight: now sponsored by taco bell
  18.  
  19. The Dork Knight: YO QUIERO BATTLEBOTS
  20.  
  21. The Dork Knight: OH SHIT T-MINUS
  22.  
  23. The Dork Knight: tfw you can't self right when you ahve the means
  24.  
  25. The Dork Knight: tfw killsaws continue to murder bots' hopes and dreams
  26.  
  27. The Dork Knight: DAT FORKLIFT THO
  28.  
  29. The Dork Knight: oh the bumper
  30.  
  31. The Dork Knight: oops
  32.  
  33. The Dork Knight: did they just call it there
  34.  
  35. The Dork Knight: "nope, we're done, he's dead"
  36.  
  37. The Dork Knight: RETURN OF MACEBOT
  38.  
  39. The Dork Knight: wait
  40.  
  41. The Dork Knight: is that bot named slap daddy
  42.  
  43. The Dork Knight: i'm sorry what
  44.  
  45. The Dork Knight: damn
  46.  
  47. The Dork Knight: slap daddy slap hards (sic)
  48.  
  49. The Dork Knight: nobody's going to be my friend after typing that
  50.  
  51. The Dork Knight: "what the fuck is this sentence"
  52.  
  53. The Dork Knight: -ivelchild, 2019
  54.  
  55. The Dork Knight: TEAM LOKI COMIN IN STRONG WITH
  56.  
  57. The Dork Knight: UH
  58.  
  59. The Dork Knight: PIZZA STONE DISC THING
  60.  
  61. The Dork Knight: VLADIATOR
  62.  
  63. The Dork Knight: -lost his fucking weapon
  64.  
  65. The Dork Knight: so, you wanna try to be a bully now? :V
  66.  
  67. The Dork Knight: oh its a triangle, it was spinning so fast
  68.  
  69. The Dork Knight: unfortunately i don't think this other bot's gonna win in a shoving match with fucked up controls
  70.  
  71. The Dork Knight: did vladiator win?!?
  72.  
  73. The Dork Knight: KILLER BEE MURDERS SPINNER?
  74.  
  75. The Dork Knight: its not even a full body spinner, get dunked
  76.  
  77. The Dork Knight: wu
  78.  
  79. The Dork Knight: fucking control issues, man
  80.  
  81. The Dork Knight: :I
  82.  
  83. The Dork Knight: >fly lands on hand
  84.  
  85. The Dork Knight: >SLAP
  86.  
  87. The Dork Knight: >it wasn't the fast bastard i thought it would be
  88.  
  89. The Dork Knight: good.
  90.  
  91. The Dork Knight: Anyway, its ziggo
  92.  
  93. The Dork Knight: better just pack your bags and go home fam
  94.  
  95. The Dork Knight: >think bot is dead
  96.  
  97. The Dork Knight: >bop it!
  98.  
  99. The Dork Knight: >GLABADOS IS ALIIIIVE
  100.  
  101. The Dork Knight: also is it just me or is ziggo not being the destructive lightweight spinner it used to be
  102.  
  103. The Dork Knight: "HIT ME"
  104.  
  105. The Dork Knight: notto dis shitt again
  106.  
  107. The Dork Knight: *suddenly audio quality increase*
  108.  
  109. The Dork Knight: startled.jpg
  110.  
  111. The Dork Knight: also hi ziggo
  112.  
  113. The Dork Knight: and
  114.  
  115. The Dork Knight: ...snowflake?
  116.  
  117. The Dork Knight: NEVERMIND I TAKE WHAT I SAID ABOUT ZIGGO BACK
  118.  
  119. The Dork Knight: ITS ZIGGO BAYBEEEEE
  120.  
  121. The Dork Knight: "last season was a mistake"
  122.  
  123. The Dork Knight: as someone who did not finish season 3, this just makes me really eager to look back and see ziggo's downfall
  124.  
  125. The Dork Knight: MOTIVATION
  126.  
  127. The Dork Knight: gotta head out and i need to take on this monstronsity of a season (3 fucking hours of fights jesus) slowly
  128.  
  129. The Dork Knight: 17:31 is the checkpoint
  130.  
  131. The Dork Knight: NOW ITS TIME FOR
  132.  
  133. The Dork Knight: THE IRRADICATOR
  134.  
  135. The Dork Knight: VS
  136.  
  137. The Dork Knight: Swirlee?
  138.  
  139. The Dork Knight: i mean it looks kinda like a toilet...
  140.  
  141. The Dork Knight: SWIRLEE'D
  142.  
  143. The Dork Knight: though i didn't see that much damage
  144.  
  145. The Dork Knight: GOD HELP THIS BOT
  146.  
  147. The Dork Knight: what the fuck
  148.  
  149. The Dork Knight: midmatch fire extinguisher?
  150.  
  151. The Dork Knight: i'm confoot
  152.  
  153. The Dork Knight: oh nvm he died. :V
  154.  
  155. The Dork Knight: LIFT UP
  156.  
  157. The Dork Knight: DAT BOT
  158.  
  159. The Dork Knight: farmapack
  160.  
  161. The Dork Knight: plz
  162.  
  163. The Dork Knight: PULL OVER DAT ASS 2 PHAT
  164.  
  165. The Dork Knight: yeah just
  166.  
  167. The Dork Knight: rear end him
  168.  
  169. The Dork Knight: literally!
  170.  
  171. The Dork Knight: THUNKBOT
  172.  
  173. The Dork Knight: VS
  174.  
  175. The Dork Knight: LIL SPINNY THING
  176.  
  177. The Dork Knight: oh god a FFX ad
  178.  
  179. The Dork Knight: my god
  180.  
  181. The Dork Knight: DORKS
  182.  
  183. The Dork Knight: oh of course its toe crusher
  184.  
  185. The Dork Knight: also that's a fuckin wedgebot?
  186.  
  187. The Dork Knight: THE FUCKING KILLSAWS TOSSED FUCKIN TOE CRUSHER
  188.  
  189. The Dork Knight: HALFWAY ACROSS THE BOX
  190.  
  191. The Dork Knight: WHAT
  192.  
  193. The Dork Knight: is
  194.  
  195. The Dork Knight: is that a double KO
  196.  
  197. The Dork Knight: tell me it is
  198.  
  199. The Dork Knight: if it isn't i'll riot
  200.  
  201. The Dork Knight: "melvolio's things are effective-"
  202.  
  203. The Dork Knight: *flipped by killsaws, can't self right*
  204.  
  205. The Dork Knight: so
  206.  
  207. The Dork Knight: about that.
  208.  
  209. The Dork Knight: >bad attitude actually moved him to the pulverizer
  210.  
  211. The Dork Knight: >PULVERIZER FLIPPED BOT
  212.  
  213. The Dork Knight: so
  214.  
  215. The Dork Knight: are you regretting this now
  216.  
  217. The Dork Knight: nevermind, he learned his lesson.
  218.  
  219. The Dork Knight: meanwhile
  220.  
  221. The Dork Knight: LITTLE SISTER COMES TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE
  222.  
  223. The Dork Knight: LIFE: DESTROYED
  224.  
  225. The Dork Knight: TENTOMUSHI!
  226.  
  227. The Dork Knight: MY GIRL
  228.  
  229. The Dork Knight: wedge of doom should have died.
  230.  
  231. The Dork Knight: tentomushi NO
  232.  
  233. The Dork Knight: "its a kiddie pool!" "no its a sandbox ivel- but wait that doesn't make any..." "ITS FUCKING DEAD IS WHAT IT IS"
  234.  
  235. The Dork Knight: *awkward zoom in*
  236.  
  237. The Dork Knight: "god bless america"
  238.  
  239. The Dork Knight: oh it was nice to know the audio when it existed
  240.  
  241. The Dork Knight: oshit frostbite
  242.  
  243. The Dork Knight: lkSDJGLKDGJLSGJ
  244.  
  245. The Dork Knight: IT FUCKIN
  246.  
  247. The Dork Knight: SPUN OFF TO BECOME A DRIEDEL
  248.  
  249. The Dork Knight: "i must return to my home planet"
  250.  
  251. The Dork Knight: originally typoed as: home blanket
  252.  
  253. The Dork Knight: lewdbots
  254.  
  255. The Dork Knight: is this another DKO
  256.  
  257. The Dork Knight: nope, frostbite might have died.
  258.  
  259. The Dork Knight: ;;
  260.  
  261. The Dork Knight: "what do you do against hazard?"
  262.  
  263. The Dork Knight: nothing.
  264.  
  265. The Dork Knight: and the wedge comes FLYIN OFF
  266.  
  267. The Dork Knight: gUESS HE'LL DIE
  268.  
  269. The Dork Knight: hazard is just dio now
  270.  
  271. The Dork Knight: FLIPPIN OUT
  272.  
  273. The Dork Knight: "PLEASE..> SAVE ME... I NEED TO BE FLIPPED, T-MINUS SENPAI"
  274.  
  275. The Dork Knight: and then he looked down
  276.  
  277. The Dork Knight: and said
  278.  
  279. The Dork Knight: "no"
  280.  
  281. The Dork Knight: mechamousercatbotte is back?
  282.  
  283. The Dork Knight: damn she's persistent
  284.  
  285. The Dork Knight: most
  286.  
  287. The Dork Knight: bedridden match i've ever seen
  288.  
  289. The Dork Knight: i almost want to go to bed after that
  290.  
  291. The Dork Knight: ivelcomment: "that catbot is just like "EW GET IT OFF ME EW"
  292.  
  293. The Dork Knight: "none of these bots are doing great lets be real"
  294.  
  295. The Dork Knight: he's watching with no audio because i have earbuds on
  296.  
  297. The Dork Knight: "i don't need audio for that fight"
  298.  
  299. The Dork Knight: one mid-watch goopy PM fulla battlebots later
  300.  
  301. The Dork Knight: i have no idea what i'm looking at
  302.  
  303. The Dork Knight: but i appreciate it?
  304.  
  305. The Dork Knight: my attention span is flaggin so i'll stop for now
  306.  
  307. The Dork Knight: timestamp: 40:42
  308.  
  309. The Dork Knight joined the chat 7 days ago
  310.  
  311. The Dork Knight: commentary may be sparse for this part, i'm feeling like garbage and cough drops are helping just a bit
  312.  
  313. The Dork Knight: did i entirely blank out a fight
  314.  
  315. The Dork Knight: i wouldn't have missed EL DIABLO would i?
  316.  
  317. The Dork Knight: yes i would.
  318.  
  319. The Dork Knight: BRACES
  320.  
  321. The Dork Knight: BANE OF MY TEENAGED EXISTENCE
  322.  
  323. The Dork Knight joined the chat 2 days ago
  324.  
  325. The Dork Knight: now that i'm less sick and can pay attention for more than a literal minute this time
  326.  
  327. The Dork Knight: EL DIABLOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  328.  
  329. The Dork Knight: TREAD PROBLEMS
  330.  
  331. The Dork Knight: "THIS IS ALMOST DISGUSTING"
  332.  
  333. The Dork Knight: "Almost? this is ABSOLUTELY disgusting"- ivelchild 2019
  334.  
  335. The Dork Knight: keep in mind when ivel tunes in he has 0 context
  336.  
  337. The Dork Knight: i have
  338.  
  339. The Dork Knight: earbuds
  340.  
  341. The Dork Knight: also
  342.  
  343. The Dork Knight: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE
  344.  
  345. The Dork Knight: >el diablo won
  346.  
  347. The Dork Knight: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLL
  348.  
  349. The Dork Knight: YOU WERE PRETTY BANGED UP BUD
  350.  
  351. The Dork Knight: anyway hi turtle roadkill
  352.  
  353. The Dork Knight: uh
  354.  
  355. The Dork Knight: are you a spinner or a glorified wedge
  356.  
  357. The Dork Knight: PERISHED
  358.  
  359. The Dork Knight: SON OF WHYACHI
  360.  
  361. The Dork Knight: WHAT
  362.  
  363. The Dork Knight: has science gone too far?!?
  364.  
  365. The Dork Knight: also is it weird that my first joke was
  366.  
  367. The Dork Knight: "MOM SAID IT WAS MY TURN TO USE THE BATTLEBOOOOOOOOOOOX"
  368.  
  369. The Dork Knight: anyway SOW basically suicided
  370.  
  371. The Dork Knight: i can't even
  372.  
  373. The Dork Knight: my poor sick brain cannot comprehend what just happened
  374.  
  375. The Dork Knight: "FORMER CHAMP NOW"
  376.  
  377. The Dork Knight: he FUCKIGN WON BEFORE YOU FUCKIN NERFED HIS WALKER SHIT YOU BITCHES
  378.  
  379. The Dork Knight: seriously tho, that's the funniest way to go out
  380.  
  381. The Dork Knight: u played urself
  382.  
  383. The Dork Knight: yeah that match deserved to be cut but
  384.  
  385. The Dork Knight: WHAT HTE FUCK
  386.  
  387. The Dork Knight: IS THAT WEIRD AXE ROLLER
  388.  
  389. The Dork Knight: FUCK OFF AXE BACKWARDS, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS
  390.  
  391. The Dork Knight: also nice to see mechavore is alive!
  392.  
  393. The Dork Knight: nice to know mechavore is still killing things
  394.  
  395. The Dork Knight was timed out 2 days ago
  396.  
  397. The Dork Knight joined the chat
  398.  
  399. The Dork Knight: i forgot to mark my time.
  400.  
  401. The Dork Knight: FUCK
  402.  
  403. The Dork Knight: Nevermind, got back to where i was in one go
  404.  
  405. The Dork Knight: and i was eating sooo
  406.  
  407. The Dork Knight: quickly
  408.  
  409. The Dork Knight: SLAP 'EMSILLY
  410.  
  411. The Dork Knight: SLAPPED EM SILLY
  412.  
  413. The Dork Knight: also "STOP HITTING HIM!!!"
  414.  
  415. The Dork Knight: is that a controversy
  416.  
  417. The Dork Knight: also don't figure out how to kill atomic wedgie
  418.  
  419. The Dork Knight: just fuckin murder him
  420.  
  421. The Dork Knight: SLAM CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
  422.  
  423. The Dork Knight: all that damage
  424.  
  425. The Dork Knight: and it means nothing
  426.  
  427. The Dork Knight: once you flip
  428.  
  429. The Dork Knight: u done
  430.  
  431. The Dork Knight: FINALLY
  432.  
  433. The Dork Knight: EL MATADOR
  434.  
  435. The Dork Knight: FLIPPED
  436.  
  437. The Dork Knight: PATIENCE WINS
  438.  
  439. The Dork Knight: though uh, you guys were talking about "it's hard to judge a flipper"
  440.  
  441. The Dork Knight: so who won?
  442.  
  443. The Dork Knight: (please tell me it was matador)
  444.  
  445. The Dork Knight: ivel looked it up, IT WAS MATADOR
  446.  
  447. The Dork Knight: BEEG FLIPS
  448.  
  449. The Dork Knight: wh
  450.  
  451. The Dork Knight: is
  452.  
  453. The Dork Knight: that bot on
  454.  
  455. The Dork Knight: what is even
  456.  
  457. The Dork Knight: BACK IN ACTION
  458.  
  459. The Dork Knight: not... that it matters much, he's up against T-MINUS
  460.  
  461. The Dork Knight: oh god no
  462.  
  463. The Dork Knight: t-minus
  464.  
  465. The Dork Knight: you gotta move
  466.  
  467. The Dork Knight: MOVE DAMN IT
  468.  
  469. The Dork Knight: >lightweight quarterfinals
  470.  
  471. The Dork Knight: already?
  472.  
  473. The Dork Knight: >DEADLY EFFICIENT
  474.  
  475. The Dork Knight: >DESIGN
  476.  
  477. The Dork Knight: this battlebot match is sponsored by Purnima
  478.  
  479. The Dork Knight: ZIGGY'S OUTTA CONTROL
  480.  
  481. The Dork Knight: wedge of doom, more like doomed
  482.  
  483. The Dork Knight: SO
  484.  
  485. The Dork Knight: t-minus is dead
  486.  
  487. The Dork Knight: EL MATADOR is in this
  488.  
  489. The Dork Knight: and now?
  490.  
  491. The Dork Knight: TORO
  492.  
  493. The Dork Knight: nice of you to have eggs in every basket
  494.  
  495. The Dork Knight: TOSSED AROUND LIKE A RAG
  496.  
  497. The Dork Knight: DOLL
  498.  
  499. The Dork Knight: ah fuck i done fucked time to get back to my original time
  500.  
  501. The Dork Knight: >lightweight semis
  502.  
  503. The Dork Knight: wu
  504.  
  505. The Dork Knight: this is GOING TOO FAST
  506.  
  507. The Dork Knight: STOP
  508.  
  509. The Dork Knight: DEATH BY MONKEYS
  510.  
  511. The Dork Knight: here comes SOW syndrome
  512.  
  513. The Dork Knight: DEJA VU
  514.  
  515. The Dork Knight: I"VE SEEN ACCIDENTS LIEK THIS BEFORE
  516.  
  517. The Dork Knight: death by spinner more like
  518.  
  519. The Dork Knight: did someone literlaly just name their bot
  520.  
  521. The Dork Knight: "no apologies"
  522.  
  523. The Dork Knight: i'm sorry what
  524.  
  525. The Dork Knight: ...dumb name aside, WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
  526.  
  527. The Dork Knight: wait what happened in that match
  528.  
  529. The Dork Knight: aside from "slowest pulverizer hit in existence"
  530.  
  531. The Dork Knight: i'm
  532.  
  533. The Dork Knight: so confused
  534.  
  535. The Dork Knight: STOP
  536.  
  537. The Dork Knight: HAMMER TIME!
  538.  
  539. The Dork Knight: wait hammertime isn't the one with long hammer
  540.  
  541. The Dork Knight: betrayal...
  542.  
  543. The Dork Knight: so instead... JUDGEMENT DAY
  544.  
  545. The Dork Knight: ITS THE FUCKING FINALS FOR LIGHTWEIGHTS ALREADY
  546.  
  547. The Dork Knight: I"M SORRY WHAT
  548.  
  549. The Dork Knight: and it was today
  550.  
  551. The Dork Knight: that the war on wedges has begun
  552.  
  553. The Dork Knight: but nevermind that TORO VS THE JUDGE
  554.  
  555. The Dork Knight: ONE FLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!
  556.  
  557. The Dork Knight: the triumphant return of the SLAM CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
  558.  
  559. The Dork Knight: "GIVE US MORE SLAM CAM"
  560.  
  561. The Dork Knight: techno distructo's back
  562.  
  563. The Dork Knight: my god
  564.  
  565. The Dork Knight: "how's my driving?"
  566.  
  567. The Dork Knight: technodesctructooooooo
  568.  
  569. The Dork Knight: gonna stop while i'm ahead
  570.  
  571. The Dork Knight: workin tomorrow so!
  572.  
  573. The Dork Knight: 1:23:00
  574.  
  575. oops: TIME TO REVIEW DINOSAURS-
  576.  
  577. Gooper Blooper (Gooper Bot) joined the chat
  578. oops: gooper is a bot?!?!
  579.  
  580. oops: bless past me, i put a timestamp in the pastebin
  581.  
  582. Gooper Blooper: you did, and look who's first up!
  583.  
  584. oops: 1 hr and 23 minutes
  585.  
  586. oops: THATS LIKE HALF THE VIDEO
  587.  
  588. oops: "I'M SMELLIN DESTRUCTION NOW"
  589.  
  590. oops: hi nightmare
  591.  
  592. oops: i forgot the other one
  593.  
  594. Gooper Blooper: That's Junkyard Offspring. I think this was his first televised match?
  595.  
  596. oops: i actually minimized vlc and chrome so i can do commentary and watch at the same time
  597.  
  598. Gooper Blooper: A unique weapon on him
  599.  
  600. oops: ivel temporarily forgets what nightmare looked like
  601.  
  602. oops: junkyard offspring
  603.  
  604. oops: sure is junked
  605.  
  606. oops: diesector truly proving donald's origins
  607.  
  608. oops: poor ronin
  609.  
  610. oops: ronin doesn't even have swords
  611.  
  612. Gooper Blooper: I believe an old version of Ronin had bladelike lifters that looked kinda like swords
  613.  
  614. oops: killsaws: sometimes mroe deadly than battlebots
  615.  
  616. oops: yeah, and then now?
  617.  
  618. oops: horizontal blade
  619.  
  620. oops: aggressively crabwalks
  621.  
  622. Gooper Blooper: the guy who made Ronin is on the Battlebots show crew now
  623.  
  624. oops: wait what
  625.  
  626. oops: "MY SLAM CAM NOW"
  627.  
  628. Gooper Blooper: yeah, he's behind the scenes these days, kinda like how the judges all used to compete
  629.  
  630. oops: hi hazard...?
  631.  
  632. oops: NEW CRUELTY?
  633.  
  634. oops: oh that's not hazard
  635.  
  636. Gooper Blooper: yeah, these are superheavies
  637.  
  638. oops: HEFTY
  639.  
  640. Gooper Blooper: Hazard's down in the middleweights being terrifying
  641.  
  642. oops: middleweights are crying
  643.  
  644. oops: holy shit the screwed screwed a man
  645.  
  646. oops: WEDGEBOT WAR
  647.  
  648. oops: *several seconds of nothing later*
  649.  
  650. oops: PULVERIZER SMASH
  651.  
  652. oops: *more seconds of nothing, now with a hammer*
  653.  
  654. oops: QUARTER FINALES
  655.  
  656. oops: do you die, vladiator
  657.  
  658. oops: FLIP DIS BITH
  659.  
  660. oops: 4 flips...
  661.  
  662. oops: five...
  663.  
  664. oops: i miss kenny.
  665.  
  666. oops: SIX
  667.  
  668. Gooper Blooper: back in the day
  669.  
  670. Gooper Blooper: there was kenny
  671.  
  672. Gooper Blooper: *no kenny
  673.  
  674. oops: kenny was in the ufc
  675.  
  676. oops: seve-
  677.  
  678. oops: vlad's just up there
  679.  
  680. oops: "ITS A DECISION-" *cuts to next fight*
  681.  
  682. oops: the death of vladiator
  683.  
  684. Gooper Blooper: Toro, unsurprisingly, won that decision
  685.  
  686. oops: i mean, if toro managed to do that flip earlier
  687.  
  688. oops: vlad woulda been done
  689.  
  690. oops: also hi diesector again
  691.  
  692. Gooper Blooper: and here's the other big flipper in the superheavies
  693.  
  694. oops: FLIPPERFIGHT
  695.  
  696. oops: *aggressively donk*
  697.  
  698. oops: technodestructo sounds like a fuckin bot name a harpchar would make up
  699.  
  700. oops: also RIP technodestructo
  701.  
  702. oops: LEAVE HIM ALOOOOONE
  703.  
  704. oops: HE'S ALREADY DEAAAAAAAAAD
  705.  
  706. oops: semis incoming
  707.  
  708. Gooper Blooper: Oh! This match is very important to me!
  709.  
  710. oops: LITTLE BLUE ENGINE
  711.  
  712. Gooper Blooper: The first Battlebots match I ever saw!
  713.  
  714. oops: iirc- YES I REMEMBER
  715.  
  716. Gooper Blooper: this is what started it all
  717.  
  718. oops: poor blue engine
  719.  
  720. oops: "he can take it like a man" BUT HE'S A BOT
  721.  
  722. oops: the little engine that might.
  723.  
  724. oops: DEEP
  725.  
  726. oops: TO THE SOLAR PLEXUS
  727.  
  728. oops: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S STILL MOVING
  729.  
  730. oops: "you might wanna avert your eyes" but y tho
  731.  
  732. oops: its not the absolute craziness of "OH SHIT A LIGHT GOT FUCKING KNOCKED OUT" of battlebots and the orlando maker matchers
  733.  
  734. oops: but it's a history lesson and a start!
  735.  
  736. oops: TORO TO THE FINALS
  737.  
  738. Gooper Blooper: it was the fun kind of one-sided match
  739.  
  740. oops: ...these aren't semis
  741.  
  742. Gooper Blooper: random heavyweight match
  743.  
  744. oops: "self terminator"
  745.  
  746. oops: is he going to explode randomly
  747.  
  748. oops: please say yes
  749.  
  750. Gooper Blooper: STEALTH Terminator
  751.  
  752. oops: oh its stealth
  753.  
  754. oops: i can't listen
  755.  
  756. oops: is that a girl at the controls-
  757.  
  758. oops: is
  759.  
  760. oops: is that arnold
  761.  
  762. oops: center punch got
  763.  
  764. oops: hammered
  765.  
  766. Gooper Blooper: he's called Stealth Terminator for a reason
  767.  
  768. oops: my god
  769.  
  770. oops: "its been-" "ROBOT FIGHTING TIME"
  771.  
  772. oops: well yes, sir, it's been that way for the last hour
  773.  
  774. oops: war on wedges
  775.  
  776. Gooper Blooper: winner faces Toro
  777.  
  778. oops: i'm pretty sure donald's gonna get a NUUT
  779.  
  780. oops: he has to get 'em somewhere
  781.  
  782. oops: sometimes porn sites just wont' do
  783.  
  784. Gooper Blooper: kek
  785.  
  786. oops: *split attention for a split second*
  787.  
  788. oops: "ANIMU FIGHTER?!"
  789.  
  790. oops: and now back to WEDGEWARS
  791.  
  792. oops: now you see the weakness in the wedge
  793.  
  794. oops: ...or maybe not
  795.  
  796. Gooper Blooper: I realized I didn't need to say who won the decision :V
  797.  
  798. oops: i mean, wedges, man
  799.  
  800. oops: this still ain't an active weapon :V
  801.  
  802. oops: >inversion
  803.  
  804. oops: FLIP AT WILL!
  805.  
  806. oops: SOON AS I'm DONE SNEEZING
  807.  
  808. oops: WAIT
  809.  
  810. oops: NEW CRUELTY
  811.  
  812. oops: "FLIP ME!"
  813.  
  814. oops: "no"
  815.  
  816. oops: "...actually yes"
  817.  
  818. oops: what the fuck am i looking at
  819.  
  820. oops: oh
  821.  
  822. Gooper Blooper: Silverback is from the same team that made lightweight Death By Monkeys
  823.  
  824. oops: "i want SOW!" "but we have sow at home" the sow at home: agitator
  825.  
  826. oops: i don't even remember death by monkeys
  827.  
  828. oops: thats how long its been
  829.  
  830. oops: DID AGITATOR FUCKIN FLY BECAUSE OF KILLSAWS
  831.  
  832. oops: DAYUM
  833.  
  834. oops: SABOTAGE!
  835.  
  836. oops: OOOH SHIT
  837.  
  838. oops: DAT LIFT
  839.  
  840. oops: pack raptors
  841.  
  842. oops: ramen raptor and party raptor?
  843.  
  844. Gooper Blooper: Pack Raptors is just two Gamma Raptors
  845.  
  846. oops: "if 50% of the bot is gone, then the whole bot is gone"
  847.  
  848. oops: well that's a weird as shit rule
  849.  
  850. Gooper Blooper: A similar rule is in effect now, except it's "MORE THAN 50%"
  851.  
  852. Gooper Blooper: so a slight buff for multis
  853.  
  854. oops: hAZARD
  855.  
  856. oops: OH NO
  857.  
  858. oops: "its bullying time."
  859.  
  860. oops: "ITS A SABOTAAAGE"
  861.  
  862. Gooper Blooper: WHAT A REWARD FOR WINNING
  863.  
  864. oops: i'm pretty sure team raptor wouldn't have appreciated the matchup
  865.  
  866. oops: he's so fucking dead
  867.  
  868. oops: hazard: the bite force of the olden days
  869.  
  870. oops: double agent aaaand
  871.  
  872. oops: an H
  873.  
  874. Gooper Blooper: HUGGY BEAR
  875.  
  876. oops: ...
  877.  
  878. oops: WHAT IS UP WITH THESE NAMES
  879.  
  880. oops: *simultaneous THE PULVERIZEEEER*
  881.  
  882. Gooper Blooper: the hazards were a lot more impressive back then
  883.  
  884. oops: oo, a gripperbot
  885.  
  886. oops: that could be to some detriment
  887.  
  888. oops: but at the same time
  889.  
  890. oops: strategery
  891.  
  892. oops: *huggy bear awkwardly waddles to the hammer*
  893.  
  894. oops: mauler u okay
  895.  
  896. oops: mauler...
  897.  
  898. Gooper Blooper: Mauler is not okay.
  899.  
  900. oops: this is your mauler on drugs
  901.  
  902. oops: WAIT WHAT
  903.  
  904. oops: A CHICKEN
  905.  
  906. oops: ivel stopped looking at his video game dealing with iveldia
  907.  
  908. oops: and came back to chicken with a barbershop quartet hat
  909.  
  910. oops: i don't understand anything
  911.  
  912. oops: except mauler is fucking dead
  913.  
  914. oops: TAZBOT!
  915.  
  916. oops: oh hey silverback won
  917.  
  918. oops: "those tazbot haymakers"
  919.  
  920. oops: i dunno if i'd call that a haymaker but okay
  921.  
  922. oops: "silverback u k?"
  923.  
  924. oops: "are you okay?!?"
  925.  
  926. oops: HE LIVES
  927.  
  928. oops: but for how long?
  929.  
  930. oops: tazbot wins?
  931.  
  932. Gooper Blooper: Tazbot won the decision
  933.  
  934. oops: pSYCHO TRON GETTIN FLIP-
  935.  
  936. oops: OH SHIT ITS COMPLETE CONTROL
  937.  
  938. Gooper Blooper: BATTLEBOTS BAD BOY
  939.  
  940. oops: FLIPPIN
  941.  
  942. oops: my knees hurt like a mohterfucker but i can ignore that pain when complete control is eating psychotron like a pizza
  943.  
  944. oops: ...not very accurate but psychotron looks vaguely like a pizza slice
  945.  
  946. oops: ...no it doesn't.
  947.  
  948. oops: BUT LETS IGNORE THAT IN FAVOR OF "GONNA TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE"
  949.  
  950. oops: rip complete control if he goes up against hazard tho-
  951.  
  952. oops: BATTLE RATS
  953.  
  954. oops: WE'RE THE RATS
  955.  
  956. oops: or is that battle rack?
  957.  
  958. Gooper Blooper: BattleRat
  959.  
  960. Gooper Blooper: he's the giant rat that makes all of the rules
  961.  
  962. oops: bad rats
  963.  
  964. oops: "they're stuck together"
  965.  
  966. oops: *audience boos*
  967.  
  968. oops: *smacks nightmare, cheers everywhere*
  969.  
  970. oops: i do not approve of nightmare violence
  971.  
  972. oops: well fuck that
  973.  
  974. oops: wedgewars...
  975.  
  976. oops: but who won
  977.  
  978. oops: BAD ATTITUDE
  979.  
  980. oops: AND
  981.  
  982. oops: COMPLETE CONTROL
  983.  
  984. oops: BATTLEBOTS BAD BOIS
  985.  
  986. Gooper Blooper: Nightmare won the decision
  987.  
  988. oops: nightmare's heavyweight right
  989.  
  990. Gooper Blooper: yep
  991.  
  992. oops: okay he's safe
  993.  
  994. Gooper Blooper: two nightmare wins in one night
  995.  
  996. oops: nightmare vs hazard would nto end well
  997.  
  998. oops: complete control plz
  999.  
  1000. oops: FLIP
  1001.  
  1002. oops: bad attitude is having a bad time
  1003.  
  1004. oops: *do DOO DOO DOOT*
  1005.  
  1006. oops: completely unrelated but tfw an animu names their cats "porky, noodle, tasty, and fishcake"
  1007.  
  1008. oops: MATADOOR-
  1009.  
  1010. oops: NO THE WHEEL
  1011.  
  1012. oops: NOT THE OTHER WHEEL!
  1013.  
  1014. oops: MATADOR'S GETTIN FUCKED
  1015.  
  1016. oops: is that proto tombstone...
  1017.  
  1018. Gooper Blooper: Basically yes
  1019.  
  1020. oops: oh someone's fucked in the finales
  1021.  
  1022. Gooper Blooper: MOE was not built by Ray Billings, but it was the inspiration for him to make his own horizontal spinner
  1023.  
  1024. oops: anywya, MORE MIDDLEWEIGHT QUARTERFINALS
  1025.  
  1026. oops: THE FUCKING DRUM SPINNER GOT DESTROYED
  1027.  
  1028. oops: i can't believe how dead complete control is gonna be
  1029.  
  1030. oops: OH SHIT ITS THE BUSTER SWORD BOT
  1031.  
  1032. oops: MECHAVORE
  1033.  
  1034. Gooper Blooper: the bot that retired Vlad The Impaler!
  1035.  
  1036. oops: also i read MOE and for a second i'm like "...death and destruction is kawaii, uwu"
  1037.  
  1038. oops: is that blade even doing anything
  1039.  
  1040. oops: oh no
  1041.  
  1042. oops: "it looks like a late night pizza"
  1043.  
  1044. oops: that is NOT a late night pizza
  1045.  
  1046. oops: late night pizzas don't exist.
  1047.  
  1048. oops: because they are devoured.
  1049.  
  1050. oops: HEAVYWEIGHT QUARTERS
  1051.  
  1052. oops: oh god no its biohazard
  1053.  
  1054. oops: bye nightmare
  1055.  
  1056. oops: in advance
  1057.  
  1058. oops: DEADLY EFFICIENT ARM
  1059.  
  1060. Gooper Blooper: *purnima intensifies*
  1061.  
  1062. oops: biohazard returns in botsplot
  1063.  
  1064. oops: bah gawd i will finish this tonight
  1065.  
  1066. Gooper Blooper: almost there!
  1067.  
  1068. oops: WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON
  1069.  
  1070. oops: arms up
  1071.  
  1072. oops: "i'm not gonna leave a tip if there's no pulverizer"
  1073.  
  1074. oops: blatant bias
  1075.  
  1076. oops: yer fired
  1077.  
  1078. oops: who's onto the semis?
  1079.  
  1080. oops: LITTLE
  1081.  
  1082. oops: SISTER
  1083.  
  1084. Gooper Blooper: Biohazard won the decision
  1085.  
  1086. oops: i'm not surprised
  1087.  
  1088. Gooper Blooper: good run by Nightmare though, quarterfinals!
  1089.  
  1090. oops: basically!
  1091.  
  1092. oops: and he didn't die from tipping over
  1093.  
  1094. oops: ...d
  1095.  
  1096. oops: did the drive train
  1097.  
  1098. oops: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  1099.  
  1100. oops: little sister looks like babby overhaul like that tho
  1101.  
  1102. oops: SHARK BITE AND DECA...something
  1103.  
  1104. Gooper Blooper: Hexadecimator
  1105.  
  1106. Gooper Blooper: bbs
  1107.  
  1108. oops: i have no idea what i'm even watching, i thought- also RIP shark
  1109.  
  1110. oops: middleweights are in finals, heavies are in semis(?)
  1111.  
  1112. oops: lightweights are done
  1113.  
  1114. oops: SLAM CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
  1115.  
  1116. oops: slam job
  1117.  
  1118. oops: frenzy is just fuckin
  1119.  
  1120. oops: trying his best
  1121.  
  1122. oops: weird cat name situation: ROASTY IS A CAT NAME?
  1123.  
  1124. oops: that is a very tiny pick
  1125.  
  1126. oops: how
  1127.  
  1128. oops: ONELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST
  1129.  
  1130. oops: "SLAM CAM" my god
  1131.  
  1132. oops: hi killa
  1133.  
  1134. oops: is
  1135.  
  1136. oops: surgeon feined death to fuckin carve killaherz
  1137.  
  1138. Gooper Blooper: back
  1139.  
  1140. oops: hazard
  1141.  
  1142. oops: heavy metal boy just fuckin died in 5 seconds
  1143.  
  1144. oops: PERFECT
  1145.  
  1146. Gooper Blooper: one hit.
  1147.  
  1148. oops: oh hey middle semis
  1149.  
  1150. oops: ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH
  1151.  
  1152. oops: zion isn't even doing anything
  1153.  
  1154. oops: oh nevermind
  1155.  
  1156. Gooper Blooper: Winner gets Hazard in the finals
  1157.  
  1158. oops: so who really wants to die hard
  1159.  
  1160. oops: DIE HARD: DIE HARDER
  1161.  
  1162. oops: itsapushmatch
  1163.  
  1164. oops: "looks like neither bot wants to deal with hazard"
  1165.  
  1166. oops: i mean
  1167.  
  1168. oops: could you blame them?
  1169.  
  1170. oops: th
  1171.  
  1172. oops: the spinner got fucked
  1173.  
  1174. oops: so who's dying- oh hey NOW we're in heavy quarters
  1175.  
  1176. oops: ,,,
  1177.  
  1178. oops: WHAT HTE FUCK IS THIS MATCH
  1179.  
  1180. oops: HE'S FREE!
  1181.  
  1182. oops: oh no
  1183.  
  1184. oops: hexy's fuckin dead
  1185.  
  1186. oops: sorry derek, you're dead
  1187.  
  1188. oops: yeah i knew it
  1189.  
  1190. oops: there aws no way complete control was going to get even a single grip without being absolutely shredded
  1191.  
  1192. oops: i can't believe how derick looks so fucking stoned
  1193.  
  1194. oops: hi it semis
  1195.  
  1196. Gooper Blooper: when I saw this match I was so frustrated because I thought Complete Control could have won if they took off the top arm and just tried to be a lifter instead
  1197.  
  1198. Gooper Blooper: alas
  1199.  
  1200. oops: yeah, but did they have the capacity to be a modular bot back then?
  1201.  
  1202. oops: oh no the surgeon is so fuckin dead
  1203.  
  1204. oops: BECAUSE OF THE FUCKIN KILLSAWS
  1205.  
  1206. oops: and that's why the saws were nerfed
  1207.  
  1208. oops: >taz vs biohazard
  1209.  
  1210. oops: WELL
  1211.  
  1212. oops: sorry donald...
  1213.  
  1214. oops: THE POWER OF BIOHAZARd
  1215.  
  1216. oops: I ALMOST TYPED biolizard
  1217.  
  1218. oops: rip taz
  1219.  
  1220. oops: who will win: a GIANT FUCKIN SWORD
  1221.  
  1222. oops: or one smol low to the grown long arm boi
  1223.  
  1224. Gooper Blooper: Overkill hasn't locked its' blade in place this time like it did when they fought in the semis in the previous tournament
  1225.  
  1226. oops: a big mistake
  1227.  
  1228. oops: "Can he get it up?"
  1229.  
  1230. oops: for the giant nut?
  1231.  
  1232. oops: maybe.
  1233.  
  1234. Gooper Blooper: top kek
  1235.  
  1236. oops: look i will make nut jokes til the cows come home
  1237.  
  1238. oops: or they rename the trophy
  1239.  
  1240. oops: wait is the sword gonna win?!
  1241.  
  1242. oops: damn it, i was blue balled about the giant nut winner
  1243.  
  1244. Gooper Blooper: Judges' decison: 27-18, Biohazard
  1245.  
  1246. oops: I MEAN
  1247.  
  1248. oops: it makes sense but the last part of the fight made me think
  1249.  
  1250. oops: "big sword... has... chance?!?"
  1251.  
  1252. oops: the usual suspects won their fights tho
  1253.  
  1254. Gooper Blooper: and there, you finally saw CC Season 4 bots
  1255.  
  1256. Gooper Blooper: only one season left
  1257.  
  1258. oops: ONE MORE SEASON
  1259.  
  1260. oops: and i only got semi-distracted by super sonico and her cats
  1261.  
  1262. oops: getting annihilated by dia alter
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