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- >>35903328
- >You slam your back against the surface of the overturned table, hunkering down against it and dripping with sweat.
- >You'd just sprinted the length of the palace with Twilight Sparkle at your heels, and you spent most of that time dodging magical lightning bolts.
- >Who knew she'd take a discussion about fucking DINNER so poorly?!
- >Twilight, an admittedly out-of-shape unicorn (who already as a race aren't exactly winning any athletics competitions to begin with) collapses against your side, chest heaving and limbs shaking.
- >After a few seconds (during which a lightning bolt blasts off a chunk of the three-inch thick mahogany table like a gunshot), she manages to catch her breath enough to speak.
- >"I've never seen Cadance this upset, Anon!" she gasps, "What the buck did you tell her about your world?!"
- "I-"
- >ZAP!
- >A spot above your head explodes, and splinters rain down on top of you.
- >Twilight reacts quickly and wraps her wings around your shoulders and head, shielding you from the shrapnel
- "I don't know!" you blurt out, cowering slightly, "We were just talking about food!"
- >Twilight pulls away and looks up at you with an expression that suggests you just told her that you once slapped Luna right on the vagina.
- >"Food? FOOD?!"
- >She plants her forehooves on your chest and shakes you somewhat hysterically.
- >"How in Celestia's name did a discussion over FOOD do this?!"
- "I don't know!"
- >You take a second to desperately try and remember what could have set Cadance off like this.
- >What about your conversation about food could have gotten such a response?!
- >While you gather your thoughts, Twilight starts casting shield spell after shield spell, gradually surrounding you with an increasingly-opaque purple bubble.
- >All you can do is try to hear yourself think over the tortured wails of a VERY upset pretty pink princess.
- >C'mon...
- >Think, McNon, Think!
- "Sandwiches, burgers," you mutter, listing the chain of subjects in your discussion with the princess, "The subject of meat, a tangent about pepperoni, places pepperoni goes, pizza, other pizza toppings..."
- >Twilight is only half paying attention.
- >"Mortensen's tri-contested shield array... Starswirl's input/output enhancing matrix... I've got to brace the mahogany if we want to stay safe..."
- >You continue, rapping the sides of your head with your knuckles as if that would help you remember things faster.
- "Mushrooms, bell peppers, spicy peppers, feta cheese, onions, pineapple, anch-"
- >Twilight gasps, cutting you off, and her hornglow falters.
- >She turns her head slowly until she's staring you dead in the eye.
- >The look of terror in her eyes makes your sweaty skin go from searing hot to cold and clammy in an instant.
- >Dread pools in your belly.
- >"You said... you said that humans put PINEAPPLE on their pizza?" whispers Twilight, voice quivering alongside her hooves
- >Twilight closes her eyes and touches touches her chest in a circular motion, not unlike a Catholic touching the sign of the cross on his chest.
- >The shape vaguely reminds you of a stylized sun.
- >Twilight's horn flashes, and a burst of light slams into the inside of your shield-bubble.
- >An intricate display of webbing - almost reminding you of circuitry - glows and gathers at the point of impact.
- >With a blinding flare, a ball of light zooms out and away from your shield.
- >It passes through the ceiling, and disappears.
- >Once this is complete, Twilight climbs onto your lap.
- "Twilight?"
- >[spoiler]Dinner and a movie, first.[/spoiler]
- >Her wings are wrapped protectively against you once more, and she makes sure that her body is covering as much of your own body as she can manage.
- >"I've sent a distress signal directly to Celestia, Anon," she says, her voice slightly muffled in your hair, "She'll be here soon. All we can do now-"
- >Another bolt slams into your table, and a notably smaller chunk of wood (thank you, magical protection) breaks off.
- >It would have scattered splinters all over the two of you, but instead it bounces off Twilight's shields with an audible -PING-
- >The shields flash briefly, and Twilight shudders in your arms.
- >"...is hope she gets here in time."
- "Twilight... if we don't make it out of here-"
- >Twilight nods her head against your sweaty mop of hair.
- >"I know, Anon. I love you, too."
- >...not what you were going to say, but you aren't going to ruin the moment.
- >Something slams into the table you're hiding behind, making your ribs shudder.
- >You tighten your hold on Twilight and hope that Celestia gets here quickly.
- >You're never eating a meal with Twilight's extended family ever again.
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