Love, Sweat and Tears

shukaku20 Jan 18th, 2013 2,537 Never
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  1. "Dash, slow down a bit, we got plenty of time to get back to my place for movies." You call out, running behind her.
  2. >"Why waste time? We can run and get there faster, and not only that, work on some toning and endurance."
  3. >This mare man, always thinking ahead.
  4. "Fine, just don't get into my beer before I get there, I'll need to towel off this sweat."
  5. >Dash licks her lips, anticipating the beer, or so you think.
  6. >The truth is, It turns out your bodily fluids have unique effects on ponies.
  7. >Sweat makes them high and drunk with no side effects or health risks.
  8. >Tears have crazy ass healing powers and as for your jizz, well.
  9. >Its the most potent aphrodisiac known to ponykind.
  10. >Of course you know none of this, the one to discover it was Twilight after taking samples to use for testing.
  11. >Now, all of Ponyville knows, as well as certain wealthy patrons in Canterlot, but none of them have told you.
  12. >Pushing open the door to your house, you find Dash has set most things up, and she is finishing up in the kitchen.
  13. "I'll be down in a few minutes, and then we can start."
  14. >"Sure, I'm almost done here." Dash replies, a bowl flying to the table and landing perfectly.
  15. >Upstairs, you grab a clean towel, strip out of your clothes and give yourself a quick wipedown.
  16. >The towel on a rack, and your dirty clothes in the hamper, you slip into your room to grab some clean ones.
  17. >Making your way back down, Dash suddenly shoots past you, saying "Gotta go!"
  18. >That mare, she does everything fast.
  20. ~~~~~
  22. >Dashing into the bathroom, you almost crash into the laundry hamper, grabbing his sweaty clothes.
  23. >Pulling out a resealable bottle, you squeeze the clothes, getting out what few drops you could.
  24. "There's no way this is it..."
  25. >Looking around, you see a towel hanging on a rack, and you almost trip over yourself trying to get to it.
  26. >Squeezing it out gives you maybe a tablespoon of his sweat, worth nearly a hundred bits to the right buyer.
  27. >Taking a whiff of it, you shudder.
  28. >The smell alone is intoxicating, and you plug it and stow it away.
  29. >Everything back in place, you trot out of the bathroom and down the stairs.
  30. >Anon is relaxed on the couch, and you hop up next to him.
  31. "So, what movie did you pick out?"
  32. >"I couldn't decide, so why don't you choose?"
  33. >Looking at the pile of movies he has, you consider your options.
  34. >Action movies, adventure, mystery thrillers.
  35. >Near the bottom, you find a different one.
  36. >Looking at the back, you realize it is supposed to be a tearjerker.
  37. >Tears...
  38. 'According to Twilight his tears had healing powers and were an amazing painkiller.'
  39. "How about this one?" You ask, holding up the movie.
  40. >He looks at it "The Ponytanic, huh. Didn't think you liked that kind of movie Dash."
  41. "What, I wanna increase my diversity, you got a problem with that?"
  42. >He holds up his hands, and says "Naw, its just interesting to see this side of you Dash."
  43. >You can't help but blush a bit, before putting the movie in and hopping on the couch.
  44. >As the movie goes, both you and Anon get pretty into it, but he never gets emotional about it.
  45. >You on the other hand. By the end, you are a crying wreck and Anon is patting your back.
  46. *Sniffle* "Thanks Anon, you are such a great friend."
  47. >Looking up at him, you give a faint blush before leaning forwards.
  48. >He leans forwards to meet you, your tongues intertwining.
  49. >"Dash, what’s up?"
  50. >You push back in with a kiss before leaning back.
  51. "Could we maybe be friends with benefits?"
  52. >"Hmnnnnnnn...." He says, a look of fake concentration on his face.
  53. >Giving him a sock in the arm, he laughs.
  54. >"Sure Dash, but don't blame me if you fall in love."
  55. >As you glare at him, he rolls you over, pressing down from on top.
  56. >His pants drop, and you look down lustily at his hot monkey dick.
  57. "You any good with that, Big boy?"
  58. >"You'll see." He replies, lining up and thrusting in.
  59. >The next thirty minutes are pure bliss for you, and as he releases all over your face, you smile.
  60. "I'll be right back."
  61. >Heading to the bathroom, you clean up his arousing fluids off your face into another vial, and closing it as well.
  62. >A quick shower later, and you float back downstairs to find Anon cleaning up your collective mess.
  63. >"So, Dash, you think you can go back to a normal stallion now?"
  64. "Don't give yourself too much credit, but I'll admit, you're pretty good."
  65. >He sets down the last of the cleaning tools, and turns to you.
  66. >"Anything you have to do later? If not, I was figuring we could go work out at the park."
  67. "I got something to do first, give me about an hour and I'm game."
  68. >"Sure."
  69. >Taking off out the door, you zoom to your house to add to your bottle of Anon Special.
  71. ~~~~~
  73. >Popping your shoulders, you drop the bag of gear you brought and sit and wait for your Rainbro with benefits.
  74. >A familiar pink mane pops up from a bush, and you roll your eyes.
  75. "Whats up Fluttershy? I'm not interested in rutting you one way or another, and besides, I'm a little spent right now."
  76. >Her ears shoot up, and She rushes out towards you.
  77. >"Who was it? How did you finish? Where did you rut?"
  78. >Pushing her back, you flick her nose.
  79. "Its none of your business who I rut or how. Now leave me alone."
  80. >Fluttershy looks around, before shooting off at Rainbow Dash speeds towards town.
  81. >Not even five minutes later, Rainbow Dash arrives, carrying her own bag.
  82. "So, what did you bring?" You ask, opening your bag.
  83. >She opens her and starts taking things out. "A hoofball, a Frisbee, a pair of beers, some towels and a surprise for you for later. How about you?"
  84. "A pair of beers, tennis rackets and a ball as well as some of my world famous sandwiches."
  85. >"Sounds like we got a perfect day, huh."
  86. "Yep, and we won't even have to deal with yellowstalker either, she stopped by earlier before running off when I implied I rutted somep0ny."
  87. >Rainbow bursts out laughing, causing you to do the same.
  88. >"I... *snicker* I bet she's looking for where you came so she can roll in your jizz."
  89. >The thought of Fluttershy rolling on the floor, muttering about hot monkey sperm sends you into a laughing fit, and Dash as well.
  90. >When the two of you can breathe again, you grab the hoofball, and you start out into the field.
  91. >The two of you pass it back and forth, doing everything to make the other miss without making the catches impossible.
  92. >After a good twenty minutes of this, you switch to tennis, and then Frisbee.
  93. >The sun is low in the sky as you and Dash chill out against a tree, hot, sweaty, and mildly buzzed.
  94. >"Anon, here, get rid of some of that sweat." Dash says, passing you a towel.
  95. >Wiping yourself off, she holds up a jar thing, and you stick the towel in it.
  96. >"Keeps them from messing my bag, ya know."
  97. >You nod, and she puts it away.
  98. "Hey, Dash, Ready for dinner?"
  99. >"Buck yeah!" She says, setting her bag aside.
  100. >Pulling out the sandwiches, the two of you chow down.
  101. >"Hey, Anon, I got you something, since you can't get it here."
  102. >Digging out a package from her bag, she passes it over.
  103. >opening it, your jaw drops.
  104. "Is this Bacon!?"
  105. >"Imported fresh from Gryphonia, just for you."
  106. >You do the only thing you can think of, which is wrap your arms around her and hug her tight.
  107. "Bro, this is the single greatest thing ever."
  108. >"Well, you might wanna get it home soon, it doesn't last that long out of a fridge."
  109. "You're right. See ya tomorrow Dash."
  110. >Dash shoots for home, and you make your way back home quickly as well.
  112. ~~~~~
  114. "Come on, let it still be good."
  115. >Ripping open the container, you squeeze out every last drop of his sweat.
  116. >Adding it to the amount you obtained earlier, you now have maybe a quarter cup.
  117. >Sure, you could sell it for enough bits to buy a house, but its something you'd rather save for a special occasion.
  118. >The aphrodisiac on the other hand.
  119. >You know plenty of ponys who would be willing to do just about anything for a fraction of what you have.
  120. >Taking the bottle of Hot Monkey Love, you head out to Twilights to arrange for some deals.
  121. >Knocking on the door to the library, you look around to make sure nop0ny sees.
  122. >Twilight opens the door, and you dash inside .
  123. >"What’s up Rainbow?" She asks, turning around to you.
  124. "Close the door." You say, and she does.
  125. >"Now what’s this all about?"
  126. >Pulling out the vial of Anons sperm, you dangle it in front of her.
  127. "I'm looking to find a buyer for this."
  128. >Twilight immediately magics the windows closed, and runs up to you.
  129. >"How did you get that much? Even my initial sample was maybe half that."
  130. "We are, close now, but not involved. Friends with benefits, you know."
  131. >Twilight gives you a jealous look, before sighing.
  132. >"I'll see if I can find a buyer. Now, this will run you a 5% finders fee though."
  133. "I'm assuming you will find the best price, right? and not just sell it to the princess."
  134. >"You think too little of me. Especially now, I'm going to be your best middlemare."
  135. >You stare her down, before nodding.
  136. "I'm leaving this up to you Twilight, make me proud."
  137. >Sneaking out of the Library, you zoom home, taking a moment to look at your small bottle of Anon's sweat.
  138. "Do I..."
  139. >Against your better judgment, you take a small sip of it, before putting the rest in the fridge.
  140. >The effects start kicking in soon, and you have trouble keeping your footing while the walls start swirling and changing colors.
  141. >Almost like a reflex, you begin giggling uncontrollably, before it turns into full blown laughter.
  142. >The rest of the night is a silly, blissful blur, and you wake up feeling amazing.
  144. ~~~~~
  146. >Bacon frying on your pan, you breathe deeply of its heavenly odor.
  147. >There's a knock on the door, and you go answer to find Rainbow Dash there.
  148. >"Morning Anon, Whatcha cooking?"
  149. "Bacon and pancakes. You want some?"
  150. >"Sure, but I have to ask you something."
  151. >Moving back to the kitchen to keep an eye on your bacon, you nod.
  152. "What’s up?"
  153. >"About yesterday... when you ah... Finished, I hope that wasn't a little weird."
  154. >you reach over and scruff her mane.
  155. "Not at all. I've had friends with weirder kinks, so a facial finish is pretty normal."
  156. >Dash hops up to the table, and sits down.
  157. >"You know, there was something Twilight didn't tell you when she checked your stuff when you got here."
  158. "Oh, really?"
  159. >"Yeah, it was about your sperm. Apparently, there is a small chance you could impregnate a mare, so I didn't want to risk it."
  160. >You can't see her scrunchyface telling she is lying, since you aren't looking at her.
  161. "Wow, I can't believe Twilight didn't tell me that."
  162. >"Yeah, shocking, right."
  163. >Setting some pancakes on a plate and pass it to Dash, before setting up one for yourself.
  164. >The bacon goes on a third plate, which you set up between you two.
  165. >Taking your first bite of true meat in who knows how long, a single tear comes to your eye.
  166. >"Bro, you going soft on me?" She says, flying over and wiping the tear with a feather, dangling it in front of you.
  167. "You have no idea what its like, being half carnivore with no meat for so long, and then suddenly getting the god of meats..."
  168. >Her wings fold back, and you catch a small sparkle at her side, but you can't make it out.
  169. >"Yeah, I guess..."
  170. >Dash grabs a piece of bacon, and starts nibbling on it.
  171. >"It’s not bad. Been a long time since I last had some."
  172. "You've eaten meat Dash?"
  173. >"Yeah, back when I was friends with a Gryphon."
  174. >Finishing breakfast, Dash heads out, weather duty apparently.
  176. ~~~~~
  178. "I cant believe I actually got one!"
  179. >Holding up the small vial, you stare intently at the single small tear inside.
  180. >Very carefully, you slide the drop into a small container you had made for this, just in case.
  181. >The drop sparkles like a gem, with a value far beyond any gem, even the gem from Celestia's crown.
  182. >Setting it in is proper place, you stare at your mirror, contemplating your relationship with Anonymous.
  183. >Yeah, you liked him as a friend, and it was cool having him as friends with benefits, but...
  184. "It feels like I am using him, taking his sweat and stuff like this."
  185. "But Twilight told everyp0ny not to tell him, or things could go bad..."
  186. "Grrrr. Why does everything have to be so complicated."
  187. >Taking a step away, you turn and flop down on your couch.
  188. >Pulling out a bit, you toss it in the air and call it.
  189. "Heads, I tell him, tails I don't."
  190. >The bit bounces a bit on the floor, and when it stops, you look down at it
  191. "Well, the coin says so..."
  192. >Heading out to work, you think on your plans with Anonymous later today.
  194. ~~~~~
  196. >Bag of bits from today’s work in hand, you head to the bar to meet up with your Rainbro.
  197. >Being bros with Rainbow has its benefits, including reserved Primo seating at the bar, and a special minotaur safe stool.
  198. >Grabbing your seat, you order a light cider and wait for Dash to arrive.
  199. >Halfway through your drink, the mare of the hour arrives.
  200. >"Anonymous, you started without me." She declares, zooming to her seat.
  201. "Hardly, this is a light, and you know this stuff does nothing for me."
  202. >She sniffs the glass, before saying "Okay, but you might not get away with it next time."
  203. >Downing the rest of the glass, you and Dash order the first round.
  204. >By the third, Dash is a little tipsy and you are starting to feel the effects as well.
  205. >"Ya know Anonymous, didja know salt has some crazy effects on ponys?"
  206. "No, but I kind of guessed. Ponys and horses back where I was from were like that with salt as well, but I didn't want to make assumptions."
  207. >Dash leans against you, and you wrap an arm around her, partly to keep her from falling over, partly to keep yourself steady with her added weight.
  208. >"Sometimes I wonder why Twilight didn't tell you anything, but I guess its okay."
  209. >Dash licks your side before giggling, and you roll your eyes.
  210. "Dash, you're drunk. And from only three drinks."
  211. >She looks up at you, eyes and irises as large as they can be.
  212. >"Anonymous, lets go to your place."
  213. >Paying the tab, you pick up the pretty well smashed Rainbow and carry her home, obviously too drunk to fly home.
  214. >She practically flops on the couch as you put her down, and head to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
  216. ~~~~~
  218. >Waking up feeling like a million bits, you roll over and fall off a couch.
  219. >Sitting up, you look around and realize you are at Anons house.
  220. >Thinking back to last night, you remember the bar, three drinks and then...
  221. "I'm a bucking idiot."
  222. >You remember licking Anon, and his sweat sent you on a wonderful trip, but screwed up your bro time.
  223. >"Hey Dash, you finally up?" Anon calls out from the kitchen, the smell of eggs and toast coming to your nose.
  224. "Yeah, I'm just realizing how shitty of a night that was. Sorry, I guess I worked to hard that day, and the drinks just knocked me silly."
  225. >"No problem bro. We can go again later, since we only had to pay for a few drinks, instead of our usual ammount."
  226. >This human, man. He knows just how to cheer you up.
  227. "Sure, but I'm covering the first three rounds, since you covered them last time."
  228. >As you enter the kitchen, he holds up his fist. "Deal."
  229. "Deal."
  230. >The brofist is complete, and you sit down for breakfast.
  231. >Sitting on the ground in your cloud home, a single, golden bit sits, the royal sigil facing up.
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