I didn't sleep at all last night so fuck you it's still Monday for me

This is also gunna be pretty ranty so here goes...

I'm pretty frustrated right now because I feel like I have no speedgames to call my own or submit to ESA. Everything I do either has already been done, has better runners going to ESA, or I have no motivation/time to run. Things I just kind of assumed I'd be running aren't really options any more. This is all stupidly selfish and I should stop being an entitled prick but I can't. All of these shitty feelings are being exacerbated by frustrating and depressing things happening in real life. Altogether it's kind of killing my passion. Anyway I'm gunna go over my speedgames and talk about the status of each.

TES and Fallout Anthologies were shut down as they'd count as 5 games each against the 5 game limit. I'm disappointed since this is such a cool concept but honestly a bit relieved I don't have to go through with it.

Skyrim was the first run I actually cared about and I always thought it was my "freebie" of a run. Until of course it was rejected 3 GDQs in a row and now someone has a better time and will get to do it at ESA and SGDQ. I'm definitely capable of beating him but after all this time it's just not fun anymore. It's just so frustrating I never got to show it off for the year and a half I cared about it. I just wanted the big show so I could put it to rest. I'll still be submitting All Daedric Quests since I think it's a cooler run but lets be real, it has no chance. I might still try grinding any% but that might also kill me.

I'm not going to submit Dishonored to ESA since I'd much rather have Mumrik doing NLG. I doubt it would get into SGDQ either since it's been in multiple GDQs. I'm not salty about this one since I knew this would be the case going in. I'll likely come back to this and the DLCs but I'm not sure when.

Bunny and I will probably submit LCGoL co-op, but I'm not sure if she'll be able to go at all. It was also at ESA 2014 so I don't know if it'd get in anyway. This was also a weird experience at AGDQ, since I do so little in that run it was actually not at all stressful. It mostly felt like I was commentating Bunny's run. I'll definitely be back to this, either with Bunny, or Dread, or possibly solo.

Morrowind AMQ was a surprisingly successful 12 hour challenge. I had been really intimitated by this run, but I actually was able to memorize and execute surprisingly well in the 12 hours. I'm interested in doing this more and submitting it to ESA. However, arc is too. I was able to memorize faster but I'm sure he'll be better at executing. He also has more time and motivation than me so I have no doubts he'll end up better than me. It's a very dense run though, I'm sure he won't mind me explaining everything while he flies around and clicks menus and stuff.

Dredd will always be my baby despite me never wanting to grind that ever again. Arc currently has a better time but we're going to be submitting coop which should be fun. I'm... worried about its chances. I want to get it in and show it off so I can... move on, but I don't know if it'll ever actually make it.

Fallout 4 is the game that kind of killed my passion for running. It was extremely interesting the things we had to do to break that game and I'm still fascinated by the run, but I don't want to run it. I might submit this if havrd isn't going because I want this shown off. I earned this win against Todd, goddammit.

Other Fallouts kind of suck. 1 is getting activity and routing is looking interesting but fuck runs. New Vegas would be nice if speedcripple never happened, also Kung is submitting that anyway. 2 and 3 are dead.

Oblivion No OoB is a cool run that would be worth learning and submitting but I don't know if I can learn this before submissions close on top of everything else. Also, I don't know if Garish is going to ESA and will submit this.

I should try Daggerfall again. MW AMQ actually reminded me a lot of it. It's actually a pretty interesting run but shit werewolf destroyed me last 12 hour challenge.

I also kind of want to look into either routing a new game on my own or finding something very few people run. I've become much more interested in routing than running.

Going through this exercise while watching some comfy streamers has made me feel a lot better. As a salty streamer I probably appreciate comfy more than most. I was pretty depressed when I got home and started writing this, but voicing all these things made me realize how silly I'm being. I'm going to ESA, I'm going to meet lots of cool people. Before then I'm going to have fun going fast in video games. Streaming's not my job so fuckin who cares about selling out. Thanks for reading this :3c